How to Get Over A Breakup

get-over-a-breakup

Dear Sarah,
From reading your blog, I know that you recently went through a bad breakup and I’m currently in that situation. While it’s not bad in the sense that we’re not talking and hate each other, it’s bad in the sense that it hurts every second of every day, and as much as I would rather be with him, he decided that we would be better off apart. How do you get over a breakup? How have you  been doing it and what has helped you?

Oh friend. I am flattered that you think I could write a ‘how-to’ post on this, but I think this piece should be more accurately titled “How to turn the corner after a break up, stop crying in the bathroom at work, and begin to enjoy your life again (but still sometimes cry when you hear that one song)”

But that’s a really long title for a blog post.

With that said, here’s how to get over a breakup

Remove the ex from your life (at least for a while)

The truly mutual, friendly break up is a rare bird – usually someone’s feelings are bound to be hurt. If you were the injured party, I think it’s particularly important to distance yourself for a bit. If you hang out with the ex all the time, you may find yourself trying to be your best, most charming self in an effort to make them see the error of their ways and run back to you.

And if you genuinely enjoy each other’s company and really like hanging out with each other … well, that’s not going to help anybody get over anybody.

It’s really, really hard to take this step and you might even worry that you’re hurting this person. Just tell them that you’re not trying to be malicious or hurtful and that someday you’d like to be friends, but right now you need some distance for your mental health. Then defriend the emmeffer.

Be 100% honest with yourself about any issues that you had with your ex or the relationship

We all make compromises in relationships and no relationship is perfect – common knowledge, right? But sometimes when we’re in the thick of things, we downplay how much something means to us in an effort to keep the peace … there’s not really any point in obsessing over his love for bad Science Fiction is there?

But now that you’re not together anymore, be honest with yourself about the things that didn’t work for you in the relationship. They might not have been huge issues, but have a good think on them and be thankful that you don’t have to deal with them anymore.

Put yourself on a dating hiatus

If you just got out of a relationship, especially a long-term one, being single feels like visiting a foreign country.

And as tempting as it is to hook up with the first applicant for the position of boyfriend it’s probably a bad idea. You’re not ready for it and you might end up hurting a lovely, unsuspecting person who just wants to love you.

If you feel weird about being single, view it as a ‘dating diet’ … none of that high-calorie hooking up and number-swapping for you! Only heaping helpings of girlfriends, fun, and go-nowhere flirting! I’ve even allotted a specific end-date to my dating diet (Sept 1) to make it seem more fun … as though I’ll immediately begin making out with a delicious gentleman at the strike of midnight on August 31st.

Have heaps of fun with your friends

Now that you’re single you probably have heaps more time to spend with all the amazing people in your life. Also, view this time as an opportunity for your friends to go to bat for you – don’t be afraid to bawl your little eyes out over beer/cheese/bacon cupcakes. Or around the bonfire. Or at the coffee shop.

Or all of the above. You’ve helped them through their dramas, they will help you get through this.

But it doesn’t have to be all weeping and yelling about how “you were too good for him anyway!” Go to the drive in, or the zoo, or the tarot card reader. Road trip and skinny dip and make popsicles. Do so many fun things that you’re too busy to think about whats-their-name.

Make a new plan

If you were in a long-term relationship, there’s a good chance that this person played into your plans for the future. Maybe you were going to go to your second choice school to be closer to them, or live in the city instead of the mountains. Maybe you were going to work part time because they could support you.

But things are different now and doesn’t everything feel better if you have a plan? Sit down with a cup of tea and a journal and think about what you really want to do, now that you don’t have anyone else to consider. The sky’s the limit!

Make some changes

A new apartment. A new haircut. A new wardrobe. The change in your relationship status might not feel so completely overwhelming when it’s part of a hurricane of changes in your life.

I think it also really helps to mix things up a bit so you’re not constantly surrounded with the sweater you wore on your first date, the book he gave you for your birthday and couch where you first made out. Besides – this is a totally sanctioned excuse for shopping!

Take care of yourself

It is incredibly, incredibly tempting to devolve into a sweats-wearing, ice cream-snarfing, SATC-viewing mess, but you’ll feel heaps better if you look after yourself. If you’re going to fanny around the house all day, at least do it in a kimono If you’re going to pig out, do it goat cheese and baguettes. If you want to watch bad TV, do it with your friends.

Don’t forget to get some sunshine and get a bit of exercise. It might be hard to get going, but you’ll be so glad you did that instead of sitting inside, listening to Jeff Buckley and eating a whole frozen pizza.

Practice the art of letting go

You can’t control your ex’s decisions, you can only control your responses to them. Maybe they chose to end your relationship. That doesn’t mean that you’re not amazing and gorgeous and totally, totally loveable. It means that they weren’t the right person for you right now.

How do you get over breakups? Have you ever been through a Very Bad Breakup?

P.S. How to get the love life you want + Are you so awesome that you’re intimidating to dudes?

photo by Sebastian Pichler // cc

64 Comments

Amelia

I just (like a month ago) broke up with my boyfriend, and haven't seen him since. It's hurt a lot, but definitely made me able to think about the things that he did or wanted that I didn't (and how he wasn't good enough for me anyway :D)
I think a week of hiding inside, watching Kill Bill and crying/screaming into the Ben and Jerry's is carthatic, followed by a weekend of dressing in your best dress and looking fab, even if you're only going to the supermarket. Works for me 🙂

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Anonymous

Amen. So know how you feel and what you went through with the scream/crying and the temptations of comfort foods. I just broke up with my boyfriend but I feel the same pain as if he broke up with me. I had to the end the relationship like a band aid or else it"d hurt more in the future. It was obvious that we loved each other, but hurt each other too and wanted different things. You'll find love again and the perfect man

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Anonymous

I'm looking at a lot of breakup blogs, having just ended one fir very similar reasons as above. i feel so unsure about it. your response is th most sane reply to a breakup blog I've reaf. how are u goin now??

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Gene

Also, regular exercise releases endorphins making you feel pretty dang good. Here in my town we have several miles of beautiful bike and pedestrian trails along with some local riding groups that venture out on longer rides each week. One of our local group rides ends up in a bar in neighboring town about 10 miles away where the riders socialize over beer, nachos, and burgers.

Amelia, Sarah, and the original letter author, remember that you are the goods. Take your time and get back to feeling like your fabulous selves.

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Marie

I had a break up a few months ago. Reading your blog helped because I saw someone else going through the same things, which always makes me feel better!
One thing that helped me was to think about the issues with the relationship, including things I did, and make note of what would make the next one better.
The other, which was huge for me, was to make a new plan. I had been on track to move into his house so the breakup obviously changed that. Going out and finding my own place and embracing living by myself (for the first time!) has really helped me.

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Dollface

I agree about not rebounding but I live by the motto:

"The best way to get somebody off your mind is to get someone else on your body."

Just make sure you aren't still hooking up with your ex…you WILL get hurt.

My only other advice is the cliche that "time heals all wounds". It's the darn truth!

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Anonymous

I went by that too, "The best way to get over someone, is under somebody." I feel awful that i used him as an emotional void, but i am so happy i did now. I married my rebound and we are living happily ever after with two kids!

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maria hasbarger

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Georgia

I was just talking to a couple of newly single girlfriends over the weekend. I got out of a five year relationship about two years ago, and holy crap, that was difficult even though it was amicable.
Great advice, Sarah! Having gone through it myself, I can vouch for all this stuff actually working. It does! It may take a while, but suddenly you'll find yourself *gasp* happy about the break up, even if it wasn't your idea.
My advice: get a pretty tattoo! It really helps distract you.

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niceguyted

Yeah, "time heals all wounds" is a trite and bitter pill to swallow. But it's true. I agree with you, Sarah: I've found that I need to spend some time alone after a breakup. And to have my ex completely out of my life. Occasional (cordial or semi-) run-ins are ok, but I have to re-learn how to be without her. I also have to re-figure-out what *I'm* all about. I've seen too many off-again/on-again situations with my friends. They end up prolonging the pain because they can't get over the initial hurt of being without someone (not necessarily each other). Serial monogamy and relationship-jumping also result.

Thanks for the post, it reminded me why I'm ok with being single right now and keeping the bar set where it is.

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Vee @Novaa

Great post. I really really like your blog! it's insightful, with a lot of useful content. "Rocking a Champagne Life on a Beer Budget"? AWESOME.
& Andrew WK is the master of Frat-boy theme songs, i agree haha.
-Vee

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jess

I've always found friends to be the best replacement for a boyfriend when breaking up. It's a well known fact that once you get a boyfriend you don't see your peeps as often, breaking up means time for girl's night in, drinks out, weekend trip to visit friends, accepting free drinks from attractive men without guilt, etc ;o)

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Jessica

That's great advice! I've been through a lot of nasty break ups–most of which were long-term. I agree that surrounding yourself with friends and family is the best thing you can do. They support you and love you, ever without your former counterpart.
Another piece of advice I would share is that if you had plans for events (like a vacation, to attend a concert, to go to a party, etc) with your ex, keep the plans, but bring a friend or two along. It will help you realize that you can do fun things even without your ex.

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Anonymous

I had a horrible one 4 years ago (via note, NOTE I say!!!) when a five year relationship broke up. It took me until this year to finally completely let go.

DON'T hold onto the pain because you are bitter. It is like eating poison and hoping the other person dies.

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Emma

oh YES did i have a bad break up – about 5 years ago now – maybe longer and it still kinda sucks to see that douche bag walking around being popular! I handled it badly and I do regret it because he hasn't had the chance to see the awesome woman i've grown into from that snivelling girl he decided to leave for his best friends girlfriend.

but time did heal, i got over it, and i'm much stronger for it. a couple of years being single and having an awesome times provies that relationships are just one state of being not THE state of being

thanks for the awesome post 🙂

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Anon

Ugh…I got dumped twice (second time for someone else) by the person I loved and was seeing for nearly 5 years. He, I am sure , has not gone through an iota of the soul crushing pain I have been through for the last two years since we’ve been through. In fact, his life is better than ever, with the other girl, he is fairly popular and famous (extremely talented at his profession) at I feel like cr*p . I’m not handling it too well….thanks for your inspiring comment.

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moremagicalways

I'm only 14, so I've never had breakup problems. I've never even been on a date!
But I can give this advice: Know that when you are single, you are spending this time making your self into a better girlfriend for when the perfect guy does come along.

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Karlette

My solution to any problem. Make a list.

I recently broke up and moved out. Before moving out, I made a list of:

– What I like about my self?
– Why Im moving out?
– What are the things I could do after I moved out? Hobbies to pursue, books to read, places to travel….
– Friends I could call when Im feeling down & I informed these friends that they would be my support line.

I just stuck these on the fridge and the moment i feel a little depressed or getting low I rush to the fridge and randomly pick anything to do or a friend to call.

IT HAS REALLY HELPED!!!

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Vanessa

I'm just seeing this now, but it's a great post. I agree with all your steps, even though they can be very hard to take (and that's the challenge of a Very Bad Breakup). My own Very Bad Breakup was with my first boyfriend/first love. I ended up re-dating him, doing the whole "friends with benefits" thing (in hopes he'd come back to me, but of course made me all the more attached to a lost cause), and having a very unfair rebound relationship I wasn't ready for. In the long run, I wasn't really UNATTACHED until I got some space from him to really think. He went to Marine Corps bootcamp at the same time I left for my Freshman year of college. The space really cleared my head, and when a flirty friendship developed with a cute friend of my roommate's, I finally allowed myself to let go for real and take a chance on someone else. My roommate's flirty friend? Well, I've been dating him for almost two years now, and I'm so thankful I allowed myself to let go so I could be truly happy.

Another thing that helped? The day of my Very Bad Breakup coincided with the day a couple good friends and I were planning to see a movie. When I got there, my best girlfriend was waiting for me with Ben&Jerry's and a hug. I know you shouldn't eat ice cream ALL the time, but it really is a great band-aid.

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okgoods

Thank you so much for your doing your blog and doing it well.

At times when we need a helping hand and a little advice (like now after a terrible disgusting breakup) we can seek a little refuge in knowing that you have gone through it, and see the comments full of other supporters and 'survivors'. : )

And when we need to; find new ideas for fun stuff to do, think about the future, make a plan, or laugh at you talking about convincing your cat into a sweater, you're still one of my go-to-girls.

So thanks

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Anonymous

Thanks for your post. I've been looking for this kind of advice for days. You're right in many points. (Blush) I do still hang out with him, I do try to be more attractive than ever, I forget all the issues I had with him…
I've got two terrible break-ups, my first love and the one recently. The irony is he is 5 years younger than me, for many reasons we know our relationship leads to nowhere. I had almost wanted to dump him but when he ended it, I felt totally depressed.
I know, I know "this too shall pass" but it hurts a lot. He was a part of my life, we did many things together, he was always there for me. After the breakup, every morning I woke up feeling empty and miserable. And yes, I cried listening to that particular song. I couldn't eat much and I lost weight (positive side effect!).
All in all, I learnt to face it, accept the fact that my heart is broken, the truth is he's gone. We can do this and that, can dance and sing, but in the lonely nights, we cry. So just let it be.
I also agree with the idea not to immediately involve in another relationship. After my first breakup, I got lots of uncommitted relationships, one guy after another. It's enjoyable and hurt-free but doing so (sounds like classical novel) you can never taste true love.

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Julie

I could realize your feeling, because I had the same experience several years ago. That's my first love and you're right, he was a part of my life, I was used to him to accompany me. Lost my love suddenly gave me infinite pain. But I really want to
struggle for my own happiness.

I think your advice is useful and helpful, thank you so much!And I like your blog, it's fun, interesting and useful, I'll see this blog periodically.

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MissGodiva

huh! what great advice 🙂

you totally rock and yes, it really does help to get all dressed up, even if you're just going to the grocery store. 🙂

thanks for writing and keep it up!

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Nahl

I'm just seeing this, sarah, and I love it! I'm going through a break up..the part about concentrating on which little things actually meant much more to us is very precious advice. Thanks. 🙂

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Your Ill-fitting Overcoat

This is a great post and the end made me cry. Thank you so much for writing this.

My hesitation with a lot of break-up advice is the idea that we should tell ourselves why the relationship was bad for us. I don't think that's always healthy. Part of committing to a partnership is realizing that no relationship is perfect and no person is perfect.

I think some relationships end because of timing or the other person's ability to commit, and it doesn't mean that I should recreate the narrative of that relationship to say it wouldn't have worked anyway.

It doesn't sound like you're quite saying that anyway (just suggesting that we feel relief to have reprieve from our ex's quirks).

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M

I was glad to find this…
As I type this I'm sitting in my bed crying over my own recent breakup. I know time heals all wounds (it's such a cliche but it is very true) but damn… this sucks! I hate waking up every morning wondering why I feel so bad.

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Anonymous

I'm going through this and I have committed all the crimes you aren't supposed to do. I sit around. I gave up on my appearance. And I see my ex all the time because it's the only way to get that heavy feeling off my chest. I love this article. It takes a strong person to be able to do the things on this. I know I'll definitely give it a shot.

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Andy King

Very good article. I have gone through all these. It's possible but difficult. It takes long time. The only thing makes it possible is stay away…

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Jessica

I don't know why I thought to Google "how to get over a really bad break up," but I'm glad I did. Even though this post was written two years ago, it's a reminder that a) I am not and will not be the only person who's ever been through a bad break up and b) I can survive this. I read every comment, every word, and it makes me smile to know that there's light on the other side of this. Thanks, girls (and guys).

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Anonymous

All good advice. It's also strangely comforting that you wrote it before I even met him.

Thank you for this.

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Bev

Like one of the above commenters said, I am SO glad I googled "how to get over a bad breakup." Out of the many articles and blog posts I've read, this one was the most helpful and empowering. It feels good to know that I'm not alone, that almost everyone gets their heart broken at some point, and that the pain eventually passes. For the past three weeks I've been absolutely killing myself with guilt, bitterness, and obsessive thoughts of getting back together, but I'm deciding to end that. I need to gain some weight back, get out of these horrid sweats, and live again! I'm sure there will be some mornings and nights–why do these times always seem to be the worst?–I'll spend crying on the couch screaming "How could he do this to me?!" at my cat with Friends playing in the background, but I think that if I look to your tips for strength during those times, they'll start to happen a lot less frequently. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this, and thank you to all the commenters too! I really needed this pick-me-up.

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Kathy

My boyfriend left me, and the pain is all-consuming. Our love should have been enough for him to stay, but it wasn't. And it seems like my love can't bring him back. Ugh…heartbreak is devastating.

I'm so glad (in the midst of our common gloom) that I'm not the only one who's woken up every morning feeling like there's a deadweight in my chest, and that it's not ridiculous I haven't been able to eat or sleep properly.

I can't thank you enough for this article, and the comments that remind me that I'm not alone, I can get through this, and there's always hope for a brighter future.

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Anonymous

Just to say a huge thank you, this article and all the comments are a source of comfort and inspiration x

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Anonymous

My boyfriend and I broke up five weeks ago. It was a mutual break, and I always knew that there was someone better for me out there. Don't get me wrong, I was unable to get out of bed a lot of mornings, I was so devastated and heart broken, I couldn't eat or sleep, but thankfully I had the will power to get up and make plans to see my friends. We spoke to each other a lot the first few days because we were both so hurt and sad, but knew it was the right thing to do. I still get sad about it now, he was my first boyfriend and love, we were together for 13 months. But it does get better.

Do what you feel is right (But if it's actually wrong, DON'T!!!)If you want to cry, cry until you think 'Yeeah can't be bothered anymore', If you want to go running, do it! Be strong, new year, new start. I'm going to make a list of things to do/ accomplish this year, and hopefully go to an event every month or so to keep me excited. Learn to love yourself again, that way you can be happy 🙂 Power to the singles I say.

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LB

Hey guys, i've just been dumped by my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. And i'm really not taking it well. I cry every day, and everything reminds me of him, constantly. (i know this is normal)
Background really is that we always have fun, and he's not a very rational thinker, has periods where he thinks everything is rubbish even when good things happen, everything seems bad, but it always just took me to talk it through with him to see the light and then he was okay again (until the next time.

He split up with me a month before he did it finally, and his reason that time was because i deserve better, because lately he'd lost interest in everything, all he was interested in doing was playing on his PS3. when we started going out all that time ago, he stopped talking to his friends, and stopped bothering with them and just saw me all the time. we lived in a shared house and he always said how he couldn't wait for us to get our own place so he didnt have to tidy up after other people.

At the end of July we cound our first flat together and moved in. Both of us didn't have jobs, but he soon found one, yet i didn't. Since then he gradually lost interest in coming out to see my friends (which he enjoyed before) and couldnt be bothered to go to the cinema much or for meals which he used to really like. he then couldnt be bothered to see family or spend much time with them either.

So the first time he said he wasnt sure about us, he said i deserved better because recently i'd been making him aware of all the things he'd lost interest in. He said it wasn't fair on me, that he couldn't be bothered to do anything with me or for me, yet i was still putting all the effort in, and it wasn't fair. he knew he was being lazy and letting things slip in all areas of his life but he just didnt care, and all he wanted to do was play on the PS3.

He went to stay at home for a few days but came back early saying he hated it there and couldn't stand being with his parents, and after a few days he said he'd realised he'd been rather rash to end it and said he'd been silly and stupid and if i was willing, he was willing to give it another go.

We went on holiday with friends, and had fun over the next month, he kissed me goodbye on his way to work and tucked me into bed when he left, and his dinner was on the table for him when he was home, and i sorted his packed lunch out for work too.

But one day he came home a bit off..and the next day he was the dame. On the third day he came home, and i gave him his tea and i could tell something was wrong. he told me it was nothing but i said [name]..i know you too well, and i know somethings bothering you. I'm here if you need to talk about it, you know i am" and he just said "i think you know what i'm going to say"

So that was it. This time he said that he'd been thinking about it that day at work and decided he didn't love me anymore. He had left that morning, kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me and came home to tell me that. Car crash.

I asked him why he thought he didn't love me and the reasons seam to be as follows according to him;
1 he cant be bothered to do anything for or with me so it's not fair on me and i deserve better
2 he doesn't miss me
3 people who love eachother have fun and want to spend time with eachother but we don't and he can't be bothered to spend "quality" time together.
……….

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LB

I've seen him briefly once since then when he came back to the flat to pick something up (which he'd actually already taken with him before) and it was nice and friendly and he said the new top i was wearing was nice (he doensn't usually notice) so that was nice. But he's now stayed with his parents, which is fine, as we aren't together, and he has still payed half of all the bills etc but he hasnt thought to tell me he isnt coming back (most of his clothes are still here) he hasnt text or contacted me other than to ask for money i owe him or to do with paper work or bills etc.

But i can't help wondering why he doesnt talk to me and why he's being funny with me and i think i may have figured out why. He knows we usually talk through everything, so why didn't he just say hey, im worried if we're nice and have fun you might get the wrong impression and think we're getting back together…but he didn't he tried to start arguments etc for no reason, to make me not like him, so that in turn, i'd think the opposite of getting back together with him. But this isnt like him at all he never usually acts this way. I'm more thinking that he didn't talk to me about it because he knows id be ok with the reason, and he doesnt want to be near me or have fun with me or talk to me because he's worried he'll get the wrong impression instead, as he isn't talking to me about anything, no friendly banter etc and he's trying to push me away by being mean, yet i simply said why? lets just keep it simple and friendly…so he said great yeah glad we agree…thennnnn stops talking to me?

dont get me wrong i cry every day, i love him so much and i miss him like crazy, but i care for him so much if thats what he truely wants i literally am the type of girl to support him with it, and be there for him because he is also my friend. but he knows this, and he's always said that's the great thing about me, but now i'm thinking he's the one finding it hard to seperate friends from lovers as he cant be near to me without feeling the need to show me (by being mean) that he isn't interested.

If you ask anyone he's a lovely guy, very quiet and polite. Old grannies love him and he's very shy and isn't a player…just to give you a bit of a personality brief.

Basically i just don't know what to do. I know all the usual stuff, look nice, take pride, new hair cut (currently trying to decide), eat ice cream, plan stuff and do lots of stuff and i am…it's just really not touching the sides on how i feel.

Any input? apologies on the rant..it probably doesnt make much sense as im blabbing plus it just deleted a huge chunk of what i'd essayed about because it was far too huge..sorry 🙁

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Anonymous

LB,

You sound like me a few months ago. But, with help from friends & family, I've realized the whole thing will never make total sense. Sometimes it is just best to "Practice the art of letting go" (as this article states). It is completely normal to want to help him get through a rough patch, but it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. As I write this I am confirming to myself what I have been doing in my own situation as well. Sometimes the feeling to contact him becomes very strong in the moment- write down a phrase that will help you disregard contact with him- read it over and over when you are feeling the urge. It helps me.

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Anonymous

I will love to share my testimony with all people because i never thought i would have another chance with my boyfriend, the man i wanted to marry left me for another woman, and when i called him, he never picked my calls,he deleted me on his facebook account and then set the status to having a girlfriend with the other chick. I was devastated. I went to three spell casters before hector and i had really lost hope. i lost a lot of money with them and got no results. so when i came to hector i was really leery of him and didn’t think he could help me. i though it is too good to be true, because all the other spell casters were supposedly good and none of them helped me. i saw the testimonials and read the other testimonials and decided to get the consultation. he said he could help me, but my chances of getting my ex were very low and he didn’t recommend it at all. But i insisted that he at least give me the chance to work with him and try and if it didn’t work, i wouldn’t be upset and i would move on with my life. He agreed. Since he is in jersey and im in nyc, i decided i would go in person to have my spells cast. he is a really sweet and gentle man, when i met him i was really surprised. he looks very young, and i had my doubts whether or not he would be able to help me. But i figured i came all that way and i said i would try so i tried it. He called a spirit to talk with me and do the work, it was a woman spirit and when it came it totally transformed hector’s face. that is when i thought to myself that it might just work. the spirit gave me some advice and did the spells. i had a separation spell and a reunion spell done. the spirit said it would take a while for my ex to leave his new girl but once he did, he would come to me very quickly. She gave me some things to take home and do. I did them, but i was really nervous. i think i messed up a few times and i told t and she said just keep going and i would be fine. so i did. it was like 6 or 7 weeks later and i saw that my ex unblocked me from facebook. I saw he had changed his status again to single. so i was super excited because i took this to mean that he had split up with the other girl. about 10 days after that my ex called me. At first, it was weird between us. he wanted to see me. so i went to meet up with him. he didn’t ask me back then. i got very anxious and told t, and she said to stay calm and everything would turn out okay. So i did the best i could although i was still worried. We met up a few more times after that, and still he didn’t ask me back out. so i got a consultation with hector and he said to expect my ex to ask me back out within two weeks from the consultation. i listened, but i wasn’t sure it would happen. then it was almost 2 weeks later, and i though, damn, hector was wrong. But the next day (there was like 2 days left from it being 2 weeks) my ex called and we got together. He asked me if i would be willing to try our relationship again, which of course i said yes. that was about 3 weeks ago, and so far we have been doing okay, we still have a lot of things to work out, but i am very happy. he doctor is the real deal and i am so glad that i found him and i recommend him to anyone who needs help. thank you so much doctor he saved my life?Reply ?you can as we contact her email jujumanlovespell@gmail.com

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Anonymous

I will love to share my testimony with all people because i never thought i would have another chance with my boyfriend, the man i wanted to marry left me for another woman, and when i called him, he never picked my calls,he deleted me on his facebook account and then set the status to having a girlfriend with the other chick. I was devastated. I went to three spell casters before hector and i had really lost hope. i lost a lot of money with them and got no results. so when i came to hector i was really leery of him and didn’t think he could help me. i though it is too good to be true, because all the other spell casters were supposedly good and none of them helped me. i saw the testimonials and read the other testimonials and decided to get the consultation. he said he could help me, but my chances of getting my ex were very low and he didn’t recommend it at all. But i insisted that he at least give me the chance to work with him and try and if it didn’t work, i wouldn’t be upset and i would move on with my life. He agreed. Since he is in jersey and im in nyc, i decided i would go in person to have my spells cast. he is a really sweet and gentle man, when i met him i was really surprised. he looks very young, and i had my doubts whether or not he would be able to help me. But i figured i came all that way and i said i would try so i tried it. He called a spirit to talk with me and do the work, it was a woman spirit and when it came it totally transformed hector’s face. that is when i thought to myself that it might just work. the spirit gave me some advice and did the spells. i had a separation spell and a reunion spell done. the spirit said it would take a while for my ex to leave his new girl but once he did, he would come to me very quickly. She gave me some things to take home and do. I did them, but i was really nervous. i think i messed up a few times and i told t and she said just keep going and i would be fine. so i did. it was like 6 or 7 weeks later and i saw that my ex unblocked me from facebook. I saw he had changed his status again to single. so i was super excited because i took this to mean that he had split up with the other girl. about 10 days after that my ex called me. At first, it was weird between us. he wanted to see me. so i went to meet up with him. he didn’t ask me back then. i got very anxious and told t, and she said to stay calm and everything would turn out okay. So i did the best i could although i was still worried. We met up a few more times after that, and still he didn’t ask me back out. so i got a consultation with hector and he said to expect my ex to ask me back out within two weeks from the consultation. i listened, but i wasn’t sure it would happen. then it was almost 2 weeks later, and i though, damn, hector was wrong. But the next day (there was like 2 days left from it being 2 weeks) my ex called and we got together. He asked me if i would be willing to try our relationship again, which of course i said yes. that was about 3 weeks ago, and so far we have been doing okay, we still have a lot of things to work out, but i am very happy. he doctor is the real deal and i am so glad that i found him and i recommend him to anyone who needs help. thank you so much doctor he saved my life?Reply ?you can as we contact her email jujumanlovespell@gmail.com

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Sandra cobe

My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.com so I had to contact him and in just 4days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man I got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, I am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.com

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Anonymous

I love that this post is so old; I'd love to hear how you are doing now! I am going through a break-up right now also, where we love each other but it's just not going to work. The trouble is that I work with him and so we have to see each other every day. That makes it harder. I feel lost, I'm not used to being single, but this is a good way for me to learn that I do not NEED someone to be special/fulfilled/important/worthy. It's just so much more easier said than done!

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anon

hello I'm a guy and I'm in the same boat… work with a girl I loved…so so painful m…. it's easy to focus on all the past memories of the time together

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Anonymous

Just remember for your "dating" diet that it hurts people if you date just for your own entertainment.

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Lena

what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt this spell caster how he did it!!!
My mouth is full of testimony, husband left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist,he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called prophet jakula and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should forgive him, i am so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband.. prophet jakula of prophetjakula@gmail.com is the best spell caster in the whole wild world

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Barry White

I have been married for 14 years and i have known my wife for about 20 years now. I only discovered that my wife, the every woman i love with my life was cheating on me with her boss. This broke my heart in pieces. I knew form the very beginning that her boss was going to bring about the end of my happiness there was something about him that gives him an upper hand when i came to women. What wowed me was that my wife, fell for him and decided to put at stake everything we have fought and worked for all those 14 years. I trusted her though i can't say that our sex life was epic but i can say we were doing alright. I discovered messages in her computer about 8 months ago. I was mad and at the same time sad but i was going to find out how true they where before i ask her or rather before i was going confront her about what i know about sexual relationship with her boss. Unfortunately i was so unlucky and could not dig up any dirt. The affair was perfectly carried out and by all means no trail was left to trace. I confront her myself and ask her about the messages on her computer and like instantly she came out clean but i wished i never asked her because it was like she needed me to see those messages in the first place. My discovery about her affair was like her ticket or rather her way of telling me she no longer was in love with me after 14 years of marriage. She basically left me for her boss. I found a man who does magic priest called Metodo Acamu Online during a 4 months period she was living with her boss. He is a real and legit magic priest and all his lovespell actually works just the way they ought to work. If not for Metodo Acamu i would probably be a wasted human by now. He helped me with a lovespell that was going to make the woman i promised my life time to on the day of our wedding come back to me. It might seem selfish of me to some of you but others who understand what i was in, can tell that just letting her do would be foolish because never again will i find someone like her. All Metodo Acamu asked from me was just materials and nothing else and it was for not reason compulsory for me to give him the money for the materials because, i had options he gave me to get the spell done. I could get the materials myself and mail it to him via ups or come down to his holy temple or send down the cost of the materials to him which is less expensive that all other options. And i did just that and it worked will for me. He helped me prepare the lovespell and via ups he sent me a package containing harmless materials and instructions on how i was going make the spell active. I did all he asked me to do in the instructions and everything happened just how i wanted. I got my wife to love just the way i wanted and i loved her just how she wanted. I can literally say my life is perfect because all i need in my life was my family and i had it back with a stronger love bound. Metodo Acamu can be reached with his email address { metodoacamufrotressx@yahoo.com }

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Lachaindra Foster

I am Lachaindra Foster i want to thank Dr. DR EBOEHI for getting my lover back to me within 48 hours. When my lover left me i was so tired and frustrated till i search the internet for help and i saw so many good talk about Dr. DR EBOEHI of (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com) and i decided to give him a try and i contact him and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back. If you want to get your lover back contact DR EBOEHI via email: (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com DR EBOEHI the great man that is able to bring back my lost love.

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Matthew

My name is Matthew am from the United State.. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this special spell caster who help me bring my ex back after 1 year, when you contact this man called wiseindividualspell@gmail.com This caster really changed my life and I will always be grateful to him.. he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and grateful to him.. This man is truly the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in my life..i am posting this forum if there is someone who has a similar problem and still looking for a way out.. You can reach him here: wiseindividualspell@gmail.com

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Haley James

My name is Haley James , I really want to testify to the good work of Dr. Pius for what he has done for me . couple of years ago, my husband left home after we had little misunderstanding, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails and no sign of him anywhere.and at the same time My daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, i met a psychic, he said he would help me, i give him a try but all to nothing happened, i lost hope completely, my daughter's situation got worse each day. Last month, i saw a posting concerning the good works of the Spiritual professional(Dr. Pius), i told the great man my problem and he told me that there is nothing to be worry about for me contacting him all my problem is solve . He asked me to provide the spiritual materials needed to cast the spells and of cost which i did (Bring Lover back, Healing spell and Career spells). In a matter of weeks, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a call from the new job i apply for with a Real Estate company, right now, my daughter is finally healed. I want to thanks Dr. Pius,for what he has done for me and my family. you can contact him via email: trustspelltemple@gmail.com or trustspelltemple@yahoo.com his web sitehttp://trustspelltemple.webs.com/ his the solution to all problem i no you are going to be the next to share your testimony to people you can call the great man on +2348039456308.

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jerry lex

Today being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love so much, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr onofe for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr Onofe how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time because i have missed my lover so much i decided to contact him and share all my problem with him which then he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr Onofe so much because i believe he can't fail me but truly Dr Onofe never failed me cos a man that stand on his worlds is really a man,my husband who left me for a year plus replied my text and for the first time returned my calls and asked me to please forgive him i was so happy and so grateful to Dr Onofe for what he has done for me. if you are there passing through this same problem or of any kinds just contact this great man on onofetemple@yahoo.com or call him on +2348100078330.

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Anonymous

(robinsonbuckler @ yahoo. com) is a wonderful spell caster. Very trustworthy, he just restored my marriage…..

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Hanna

I just had a crazy breakup and circumstances required me to tell the story of this breakup many times to many people. As I was repeating the story yet again the other night I left it on the “nothing to do but move forward” note, and to my surprise my friend stopped me and said. “Yes, but you have to make time to emotionally process it too.” She made me realize that while I was talking about the break up a lot, I wasn’t really feeling it. Separating facts and feelings is a tempting thing to do, especially if you’re a person like me who prefers to deal with emotions privately instead of seeking out others. But sometimes it is hard to figure out what exactly “emotional processing” is, what’s the best method, and when, oh when, is it over?

I think if I were to add something to this post it would be for people to let go- but take something with them, that is, deliberately take the time to figure out what emotional processing means to them, how they should go about it, and when they will be satisfied with it. If it’s any help to others the best definition I landed on is this: Emotional processing (for me, for this breakup) is to stop thinking about what “could” or “should” have happened (on my part or his) and to start thinking about what I learned from the relationship and how I can use this experience (horrific as it is) to move into a new, and better reality as a better, wiser person. My method is writing streams of consciousness and listicles (because who doesn’t love lists). I just finished a list of the most valuable things I’ve learned in love. With each bullet point (there are 17 thus far) I put who I learned it from, and a brief explanation. It’s such a refreshing and positive spin on something that has brought me such sadness and pain. As for the tricky question of when it is over: I am taking Sarah’s advice and going on a dating diet, but when that is over, and I start living by those lessons (and adding more), I’ll be satisfied and emotionally processed.

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Kendall Lake

Today I was reading your latest updates and realized I should really see what you have to say on breakups (I’m a college student who has been reading your blog for years, but this is my first ever breakup so I’ve never needed this advice before.) This post kind of made me cry because it was a little too real (that alternate title kind of killed me), but I really appreciated what you had to say.

I can’t follow all of the advice, because unfortunately we share all the same friends and are next door neighbors, but I’m doing what I can.

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