True Story: I’m Recovering From Online Sex Addiction

I'm recovering from an online sex addiction
What would it be like to struggle with online sex addiction? Every time you check your email, scroll through social media, or try to read your favorite blog, you’d be met with temptation. This is exactly what Ashley went through. This is her story.

Web Time Wasters

How was your week, friends? I alternated between enjoying our alarmingly nice weather, catching up with friends, and refreshing CNN and panicking. Sooooo pretty much what I’ve been doing for all of 2017?

Before we dig into fun(ish) links: How to help people in Puerto Rico.

Links for you!

Alert! There’s a British version of Drunk History!

Over in my Money & Happy Facebook group, amazing things are happening: one woman came clean about a 50k debt she’d been hiding from her husband for years, lots of people have finally paid off their credit card debt, and we all shared the ways we make our living spaces happier. Join us!

And if you’re interested in money, I was on the Say Yes podcast this week talking about regrettable purchases + money mindset shifts!

New ways to do PB & J.

What do you think? Do artists and designers (and bloggers!) have an obligation to be political?
In times of moral conflict, silence is just as loud a response as speaking up. Inaction suggests that a maker has enough privilege to ignore injustices occurring right under their nose. For example, many of those artists who began speaking out on social media were inundated with comments expressing disappointment that an artist-maker would dare to express an opinion about anything outside their work (the audacity!). As unfair as these reactions are, it’s also fair to point out that based on previous content, perhaps the audience didn’t have any way of knowing that particular artist’s views.

Calling the system entirely broken and completely refusing to participate in it — even to reform it or change its flaws from the inside — absolves you of taking action.

Painting the ‘other side’ as a bunch of assholes incites name-calling, but requires no further action.

Ranting about a single cause to anyone who will listen, regardless of whether you’re off-topic or not, looks like action but is really just a lightning-fast energy burn that tries the patience of everyone around you.

Interesting! DIY terra cotta air fresheners!

If September makes you feel all nest-y, here are 14 ways to make your home look great on a budget!

I think this craft is beyond my skillset but isn’t it amazing?

I loved Sas and Sara’s conversation about how to stop caring what other people think (and why it’s totally human to care)

The “I’m not a trophy wife” interviews on Refinery29 are FASCINATING.

Not the usual decluttering tips.

Helpful! How to stop unwanted phone calls, email, and junk mail.

This article about the making and un-making of Iggy Azlea’s career is super interesting
“She came out at a very interesting time,” Polow notes. “We’re living in a time where wack is actually average. So even if she’s wack, at worst she’ll be average.” Besides, he adds, “How many artists do we come to love who aren’t really that good?”

If you appreciate my taste in links you can tons more on my Pinterest boards!

Hope you had a lovely weekend!

11 things that will help your blog, business + brain

A great roundup of blogging tips and business advice! Instagram branded content, SEO for Squarespace, and customer service strategies!

Daaaaang. Stop talking directly to me, Kyla! Is your launch strategy leaving money on the table?

What does Instagram’s new ‘Branded Content’ mean for you?

Yes! Empathy is good for business!
When you show your clients you understand them, you’re helping them feel safe. You’re showing them that they can be honest and vulnerable with you. When you say “I get it. I used to be overwhelmed by social media too,” you’re making it easier for your clients to open up to you. 

And the more they open up to you, the more you can help them, and the better their results will be.

It can be this simple! Optimize your images for SEO with one simple step.

Helpful: One simple tool for changemakers to avoid overwhelm.

Do you want to delight your clients? TRICK QUESTION DUH OF COURSE YOU DO. I loved Beverly’s ‘Customer Delight Strategy.’

Related: How to have long-lasting, super loyal professional relationships.

5 tips to become the master of your email.

Trying to find places to guest post or publish your writing? Susan rounded up 25 for you!

What did Grace Bonney wish she’d known before she started DesignSponge 13 years ago?

It is sooooo easy to take our work Super Seriously and remove all the joy. But it’s possible to be a pleasure player – even in the world of business!

Instead of focusing on deadlines and irritable co-workers or clients, focus on the actual work. Revolutionary, right?

Put on your favorite music and dance through that quarterly report.

Get up and stretch and move at least every 30 minutes. Pat your body or sensuously caress yourself. Walk outside and take deep breaths for 10 minutes.

Get a glass of water, feeling the coolness pouring down the back of your throat. Sip on a delicious cup of joe or a chai and savor that ten minutes of tasting pleasure.

Have you read or written anything really helped your work? Share links in the comments!

P.S. If you appreciate my taste in links, did you know I have entire Pinterest boards devoted blogging, self-employment, and work + career advice?

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser (At Least A Little)

Want to stop being a people pleaser? This post is for you. Click through to learn the one phrase that has helped me say no without guilt.

It’s 2010 and I’m 30 minutes into my flight between Newark, New Jersey and Mumbai, India. I’ve somehow angered the travel gods because I find myself in the middle seat, in the middle row.

On a flight that’s nine hours long.

I bend forward to dig out my copy of Skymall. When I return to my upright position I discover the men sitting on either side of me have each taken ownership of the armrests.

I look down and notice that they’re both slooooooowly man-spreading their thighs into my space.

Now, this is the part of the post where I’d like to tell you that I charmingly, assertively, diplomatically took back my armrests and personal space.

I’d like to tell you that in even in 2010, I didn’t care if I ruffled the feathers of these total strangers.

Instead, I’ll tell you what really happened. I spent the entire flight – all nine hours! – with my elbows tucked to my sides, my knees pinned together, dehydrating myself. God forbid I ask someone to stand up so I can go to the bathroom!

If you are a woman, from the Midwest, or a people pleaser, you probably have your own version of this story.

You let a friend-of-a-friend’s cousin crash with you even though you live in a studio apartment and you’re an introvert. You spend $$$ attending an out-of-state wedding for a relative you barely know. You agree to help a coworker move, even though said coworker earns significantly more than you and can absolutely afford to hire movers.

If you recognize yourself in any of the above scenarios, I’d like to introduce you to the phrase that has revolutionized my life and calendar:


Web Time Wasters

How was your week, guys? I took myself on my monthly writing retreat and introduced a friend-of-a-friend to some of the glories of Minneapolis. This weekend, Kenny and the boys are away and I am glooooooorying in having the house to myself!

Links for you

Sometimes I feel like I’m not a ‘good entrepreneur’ because I always have (and always will) prioritize my Actual Life over my business. But Susan gets it.
Yes, absolutely, sit at your computer and write, coach, email clients, do your work, whatever your work may be. Work diligently for, say, 4-6 hours. If you focus intently, you can accomplish a lot in 4-6 hours. And then stop. Enough. Take a walk. Make a smoothie. Watch an episode of Outlander. Watch two. Drive across town to that museum you’ve always wanted to visit. Pack yourself a picnic basket and eat outside on a blanket under a tree. Remember what “outside” feels like? Remember trees? It’s nice out there. 

Have heard of Brandless? Everything is $3 and much of it is organic, non-GMO, or vegan! I’m intrigued!

If you’re in the Twin Cities and you’re affected by DACA, you should know about Navigate MN and the Volunteer Lawyers Network.

Real talk: How to become a grown up.

Does September make you want to hunker down and “get serious” about, well, everything? Did you know that I put together a secret library of ebooks and workbooks that will help you plan better trips, manage your money better, make more friends as an adult, etc etc etc? And it’s $0? Access it here.

A cookbook I’m excited about.

Related: I love this pin!

Fun fact! There was time in American history – not that long ago! – when the rich said no to getting richer.
Romney didn’t try to make every dollar he could, or anywhere close to it. The same was true among many of his corporate peers. In the early 1960s, the typical chief executive at a large American company made only 20 times as much as the average worker, rather than the current 271-to-1 ratio. Today, some C.E.O.s make $2 million in a single month.

What if we could solve our relationship problems by getting more sleep?

Related: “Is this relationship doomed or do I just need to put in more work?

Dream home: found.

An etiquette guide to receiving nudes without being an asshole about it.

I think this is true! We’d all be better communicators if we weren’t so afraid of embarrassing ourselves.

Hope you guys had a lovely weekend!