I know you’ve probably mistaken me for a professional stripper in these photos because
I give good ‘sexy face’ and my dress shorts are extremely alluring.
Despite this, it took me three years to work up the nerve to take a pole-dancing class. And even then, I had to go with a friend and engage in that mental trickery where you tell everyone you’re doing it, so you can’t back out.Here are the things I learned from 90 minutes of clinging to a pole with my thighs
* No one cares about your thighs
I know you care about your upper thighs (I certainly care about mine). But I’d estimate that 2% of the female population has cellulite-free upper thighs. We’re all so busy worry about our own thighs, we’re not going to look at yours. It doesn’t matter. Nobody’s looking.
* Having a good teacher makes all the difference
It’s totally unnerving and intimidating to try new things – especially physically challenging or sexy things. Not surprisingly, having a patient, sweet, frank teacher makes all the difference. I cannot recommend Amy at Polaris in Wellington highly enough. She’s lovely and funny and she’ll teach you the difference between sexy vs. hootchie. (Though it’s up to you what you want to do with that information.) Also: she does not have six pack abs which makes her 1 million times more approachable.
* Hoiking yourself around a pole is hard work
There will be bruising. There will be grunting with effort and strain. Maybe your arm skin will stick to the pole, twist around and give your those red burn marks like third grade. Sometimes you’ll start spinning too high up on the pole and lose momentum with your knees dangling three anti-climatic inches above the floor.
* When in doubt, prance around your pole while winking
This is probably a metaphor for life, right?
After I got over the embarrassment of sucking, I enjoyed myself – even if I did burst blood vessels in my knee. I’m not sure I’ll go back, mostly because there are other dance forms I enjoy more, but I’m glad I tried it. Maybe I’ll integrate some of those moves into my next dance-off.
Have you ever taken a pole dancing or burlesque dance class? What’d you think of it?