30 New Things: Get a Ridiculous Manicure

If you are considering getting a ridiculous manicure, here are my clues for how to find the best place:
a) Ask the woman with the Chanel Logo talons where she goes
b) Look for a ‘salon’ with neon sign paint nearly obscuring the windows

c) Open the yellow pages and call around until you can find a place that does manicures for under $15.You are now assured the most ridiculous manicure ever.

Emily The Brave (who also accompanied me on my Scientology adventure) was up for this tomfoolery. We opted to try Ocean Salon Spa which is located at the intersection of Dicey Avenue and Bad News Street – otherwise known as the Rondo neighborhood. It’s one of those places that’s next to a check-cashing shop and promises pay-by-the-minute massages. Because apparently that’s how we roll, yo.

However! Upon entering the spa we discovered row upon row of white upholstered princess chairs, a huge saltwater aquarium and gilt baroque style manicure tables. Yes, I thought. I will gladly pay $11 for a manicure here.

Emily and I hunkered down for twenty minutes of gossip and hand rubbing and were not disappointed. The manicurist did balk a bit at my request for gold nailpolish with rhinestone tips. Why she expressed surprise I’m sure I don’t know, as the woman sitting the next table over was getting fake nails inset with dollar bills. True story.

After approximately 8,000 layers of polish, we set our hands beneath some sort of fan/UV/baking machine after which I immidiately mussed up my polish digging around in my purse.

But when you’ve got rhinestones on your nails, I doubt anybody’s going to notice a little smudge, right?

Have you ever gotten a particularly ridiculous manicure? Would you?

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  1. A.

    I'm not one for crazy nails, I usually just get mine painted black but it smudges, every.single.time! Even if I leave them under the UV fan thing for like 20 minutes πŸ˜› They need super quick drying paint that dries in 20 seconds πŸ˜€

  2. Ashe Mischief

    Though I hate having my nails long, I am SO up for insane nails. Those crazy 80s style ones win my heart over & over again….

  3. Eva Internazionale

    This made me laugh so much. Brilliantly written. I keep my nails as short as possible, but after reading this I might change my mind and go for a ridiculous manicure for a change.

  4. Lauren

    Sadly I have to say you're doing it all wrong! That is not in the least bit ridiculous and actually sounds borderline classy! Having a chat? Aquariums? Gilt? Whatttt?!

    Chinatown is where it's at. The Asian girls know there nails and how to stack on more nail candy than you thought humanly possible. Oh yes, glitter, rhinestones, lace, pearls, diamantes, miniture versions of EVERYTHING cute/sweet or outright strange you can find it there. Chinatown is the only place for a truly ridiculous manicure…after all if you can still see your nails through the nail art and additions then you've not done the job properly.

  5. Holly

    I would like to but I've never truly commited myself to going and having one done. I'd like to though and I think a friend of mine is going to take me at some point. I'd rather get my toes made all pretty. I'm usually ok with my finger nails though as they're usually healthy and shaped my me anyway. I like to do a lot of pampering myself hehe.
    Gotta keep it cheap when you haven't got the money :D.

    Holly x

  6. Sarah Von Bargen

    Lauren: Hahaa! I *tried* so hard to be ridiculous! And the place looked ridiculous from the outside! Maybe next time I'll get those dollar bill insets. πŸ˜‰

  7. Mary

    Oh, I love to get a manicure after a particularly stressful week, but I haven't done it lately because moving wreaks havoc on my nails and I would just mess them up again so why pay to get them done? Anyway, now I totally want a ridiculous manicure. I want unicorns.

  8. {Tara}

    Ha! This is brilliant! What a fun idea…it has been ages since I've had a fun manicure. The mother of a good friend in high school had a salon and she would give us crazy manicures with flowers and diamonds, etc…
    I really want to do every finger in a different shade of purple!!

  9. Eli Squared

    My most ridiculous manicure experience was just last month. I got treated to a spa by my best friends. While you're sitting in the chair with a mask over your eyes they do your nails and toenails. Pretty much I told the woman that I wanted a midnight blue polish and for my nails to be short.
    After my manicure was done I had about inch long nails with glitter, rhinestones and sparkly blue nail polish. Next time I'm going to be more specific.

  10. Jackie

    I think your manicure is quite cute! The rhinestones would drive me nuts, I'd catch them on everything.

    I've never had a crazy manicure. Or pedi. Actually I got my first pedicure last week. It was such a strange experience for me…

  11. Heidi Rose

    I actually think your nails look gorgeous! But then, I would rather go with something silly and still pretty than something absurd and ugly. So, at least you got your money's worth, right? πŸ˜›
    Nice post.

  12. Marie

    I would probably do a crazy pedicure over a crazy manicure, but I suppose those can be hidden so it's less daring. And my toenails are always orange to begin with. I had a friend in high school that got dolphins and what not airbrushed on her fake nails and would even get piercings on them. That was crazy!

  13. R.

    It's so funny you've written this, because my new apartment building is atop a shop called The Nail Zoo – it is decorated ENTIRELY in 80s-fabulous neon zebra-print – and every day I pass it, my desire to go in and get a tacky manicure increases ever-so-slightly…


  14. Material Girl

    I love love love getting my nails done, + it used to be my most favorite way to treat myself on weekends back in college. But my nails are so short and pathetic that I never do much other than my standard pale grey. HOWEVER, I tend to have friends with mind-blowingly flawless nails, and the best of the best is my friend dieu, who occasionally records her hilariously awesome manicures on thetopcoat.blogspot.com. YOU MUST SEE IT SARAH VON GO LOOK WORTH IT I SWEAR.

  15. Kitty

    I am a French Manicure girl all the way. Every time I try to do colors, I feel like I have some kind of alien substance on my hands. I know. I'm weird. I love the rhinestones though!

  16. Sarah Von Bargen

    Material girl! You were not kidding – those are some awesome, ridiculous nails!

  17. Bethany

    I once had fake nails put on by a stripper named "Red Renee." She painted my nails fire engine red with white and yellow hand painted flowers and green vines. You should have SEEN it Yo! Totally ridiculous. The requisite pinkie rhinestones were applied as well. Seeing that I was tending bar at the time the silly nails were toast after like two shifts.

    I think Red Renee went to jail for driving through the ditch into the side of a building wildly drunk the next week. This put an abrupt ending to any future manicures.

  18. ambika

    I rarely wear color on my hands at all but I do go crazy with my pedicures. Not as adventurous, I know! You're temping me, tho–I dig that gold.

  19. Midge

    So zexy, I might just be tempted to paint my fingers instead of my toes!

  20. Katie

    Hehehehe! I've noticed a few celebs following the crazy nail trend hehe. I think it's fabulously tacky πŸ˜›


  21. Hilliary

    I just moved to Minnesota (and when I say just I've been at school for a year now) and coming from LA which is crawling with sketch nail salons, I've yet to find a good ridiculous one here -WHERE DID YOU GO?!!!

  22. Sarah Von Bargen


    It's called Ocean Spa Salon and it's on the corner of University and Lexington in Midway/Rondo in St. Paul The number is 651.330.4386. Good luck!

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