An email to my body

body-positivity
Dear body,

Hey, dude! It’s been way, way too long. Like, WAY too long. When was the last time we really saw each other? I think it was in the Kohl’s dressing room when I was trying on that absurdly booby-licious two-piece. I ended up buying it, mostly because the bottom had ties on sides. WHY IS THERE ANY OTHER TYPE OF SWIMSUIT BOTTOM.

Anyway, I just wanted to touch base because I feel like things have been a little weird between us lately. Not bad per se but … different. I feel like you’re changing (which you’re totally allowed to do) and you’re asking a little bit more of me. You need a little more time and effort than I’ve been wanting to give you and I’ve been ignoring that. I’ve been treating you the same way I treated you in college and high school and expecting that that was good enough.

I’ve been treating you like who you used to be, instead of who you are now. As one of my favorite bloggers says “you’re allowed to change and if people love you, they’ll let you.

I’ve been asking you to wear things that are too small, too tight, a weird cut or just not right for you. I’ve been trying to make those size six jeans work and – let’s be real – they are not the jeans for you.

And to add insult to injury, I’ve been in denial about this for a while now – which isn’t fair to either of us. I’ve been keeping the same currently-ill-fitting jeans and too-small-bras and cute-but-painful shoes around for years, making you wear them and then getting upset when you don’t like them. Again, not fair.

That ends now, body. From here on out, I pledge to do better. I’m going to buy you things that fit and work for you today – not who you were ten years ago. I’m going to acknowledge that somehow you defied your genetic destiny and turned out hourglass-y. And that’s awesome! And you should be decorated in a way that honors that.

You deserve things that you feel good in right now. Maybe the way you look will change in a few months or years, but wearing the wrong stuff right now benefits no one. It makes you uncomfortable and it make me self-conscious and weird. Let’s stop, shall we?

Anyway, I hope all is well. I’m heading for Buffalo Exchange – hope to see you there!

Love,
Sarah

P.S. Aren’t you glad this is the year of the rear? WHO KNEW YOU’D BE SO POPULAR?!

22 Comments

Sara

If you haven’t done it before, you should totally add getting a professional bra fitting to your list of “New Things.” I went a couple of months ago to Nordstrom’s and my jaw literally dropped when the fitter told me I was a 32D (I’d been wearing a 34B since high school and always thought of myself as being pretty small-chested…) So I spent $150 on two nice bras (my first ever not from Kohl’s) and have been loving them ever since. I never realized a bra could actually be comfortable and still sexy. And getting bras that fit actually make my clothes hang better, so win-win!

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Sarah Von Bargen

I actually got a bra fitting last year and had the exact same experience! It really does make a difference!

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Allie

Oh gosh, I spent 10 years thinking I was 34B (those were the bras mum got me) and then I finally got fitted and realized I was 32DD. What a revelation. It was wonderful — my bras are so much more comfortable now.

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lindsay

*forwards email to my body*
i am going through the saaaaaaaame thing. i was pretty thin through my high school/college/grad school years, after which i was pretty broke for a long time so i just kept wearing all those same clothes. finally i’m like “ok, i have curves! bring on All the Wrap Dresses”. luckily i have a friend who recently lost weight and is my old size, and she was very happy to get a big bag o’ hand-me-downs.

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Sarah Von Bargen

Yes! I was one of those so-thin-my-knees-are-the-widest-part-of-my-legs kids and I never expected to be bigger than a size 4. But here I am and I’m learning to love it 🙂

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Andrea

I like this 🙂 I was also a very thin child…but I was sick all the time. So I really appreciate my curves because it’s better than the alternative, for me!

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Jess

I love this. Thanks. Time to clean out the closet of too-small, broken dreams and realize that their presence makes for more of a living nightmare than anything else.

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Sarah Von Bargen

And not broken dreams! Just DIFFERENT dreams! It’s okay if your current dreams aren’t based exclusively on your pants size 😉

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Mary

Yes! On Sunday I went through a massive stack of jeans, half of which I hadn’t worn in well over a year. I put on a favorite white tee, did my hair and makeup, and tried on each and every pair in front of the mirror. Each got sorted into one of three stacks: a) comfy and would wear tomorrow, b) uncomfortable but would wear if I could, c) can’t even zip up. I saved all of the first stack, and after a moment’s thought, bundled B and C together and donated them all. Being realistic and honest and loving with your body, as it is and not how it was five years ago, feels SO GOOD. Thanks for this letter!

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Sarah Von Bargen

Yes! And if we lose some weight or start lifting weights and grow some awesome thick, strong thighs WE CAN ALWAYS BUY MORE PANTS IN OTHER SIZES. It’s not like once you purchase clothing in another size you can never, ever change your mind. (That’s more of a note-to-self than anything)

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Kate

After many years of ridiculousness, my body and I have decided that we are done wearing spanx or any control top anything. It’s painful and uncomfortable and then everyone is unhappy. I went to a wedding on Friday and instead of pouring myself into a weird pair of spanx and worrying about them either rolling up or rolling down all night, I wore a floaty dress and danced the night away comfortably 🙂

Also, it has to be said: you look stunning in that picture! Beautiful dress, beautiful setting, and most importantly, a beautiful and happy you!

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Sarah Von Bargen

Thanks so much, Kate! And you’re so, so right about Spanx. Why wear them when we can just wear a different cut of dress AND FEEL A MILLION TIMES MORE COMFORTABLE??!!

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Kate

Right? If I try a dress on and think, “Well, I could probably wear this if I put on some spanx,” it is time to walk away from that dress!

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Kenden

Hi Sarah: Oh, I love this idea of writing yourself letters to get things, and set things, straight. It serves the purpose of saying out loud where we have missed our mark with ourselves and allows us to set more mindful intentions for our future. Thanks for sharing this personal letter with us.
Sincerely
Kenden

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Vicki

Thank you for your kind words to yourself — a mindset which should be emulated. You look happy and healthy in the picture. What more could any of us want?!

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Calluna

Yep. I have finally graduated to buying clothes that fit, but sorry, self: I still miss straight, athletic me and hourglass/pear shaped me still makes me feel yucky after all these years. So I am not as far along as you are with this email to self… But I am working on it. (It really helps that most mirrors only show ribcage up, ha)

And yes, you do look great in that picture!

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