On Being A Plus-Size Girl In A Skinny Girl World

This guest post comes to us via the lovely Mara, who blogs (almost) daily over at Medicinal Marzipan, can frequently be found rabble rousing on facebook or you can shoot her an email at medicinalmarzipan[at]gmail[dot]com. Don’t hesitate to hit her up with any of your body image questions or comments!In a world overrun with messages and images dictating how you are supposed to feel about your body, what size it is supposed to be, or what you are supposed to wear, it can often be extremely difficult to harden your resolve and decide to love your body regardless of your size. The truth is, no matter how much you weigh, we are all under the a constant stream of input about our bodies, and we all take them to heart in our own unique ways. The difference then exists not in what the rest of the world is telling us to be, but in how comfortable we allow ourselves to be in our own skin.

You can make the conscious choice to love yourself, unconditionally, no matter what your weight or size. By removing these conditions, you are able to move more freely, open your heart to heightened self-esteem and self-worth, and be kind to yourself no matter what anyone else thinks about your body. This is not the easiest thing to do, but there are a few steps that you can take to make this journey towards loving your body easier.

1. Buy clothing that fits.
Buy clothing that not only fits, but also makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel presentable and attractive, and represents the way you want others to see you. This means that you have to allow yourself to going up a size, or two, when you need to – without criticism or judgment. Buying clothing that fits you will remove the constant daily reminder of I’m so fat. I don’t deserve ______. I’m not worth ______. that you feel when you are getting dressed in the morning. You ARE worth looking your best.

2. Treat your body with the respect that you would treat a friend or family member
say nice things, let it know that you are grateful for all that it does for you, for carrying you around in the world. Eat food that makes you feel nourished and energetic. Make time and space for movement. It is very difficult to hate your body when it is motion, when you can truly feel how strong it is.

3. Drink enough water.
This may seem menial, but when you don’t drink enough water you can feel stuck and lethargic. You get sick more easily. Your brain doesn’t move as fluidly as you might like. Drinking enough water makes your skin glow and your body feel more capable. That said, also, get enough sleep – it is much easier to fall into a rut when you are exhausted.

4. Refuse to engage in negative self talk.
This is not always the easiest of tasks. From childhood, women are taught to relate to one another in regards to their perceived flaws – “oh my calves are GIGANTIC!” “YOUR calves?! Would you look at my _____.” Picking on your body can be a easy go-to as a conversation filler, but it is remarkable how quickly those thoughts make their way into your heart and contaminate your thinking about your body. Make a choice to be nice to yourself. Tell yourself that you’re beautiful. Tell others that they are beautiful. If this concept seems foreign – fake it. You will be surprised one day when you realize that you have taken these “fake” compliments to heart.

5. Immerse yourself in a body positive culture.
True, there are plenty of people out there just waiting to tell you how GIGANTIC you are or how much you need to change, but there are also many resources, companies, blogs, friends, and lovers who want to love you exactly the way you are. Surround yourself with positive people. Find products, clothing companies, and activities that reinforce your love for your body, exactly as it is.

6. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Run, jump, skip, hula hoop, dance with reckless abandon. Do things that put a huge smile on your face, and remind you of a time where you felt more comfortable in your skin. Have fun. It is amazing how difficult it is to engage in negative body image patterns when you are too busy doing the things that you love to do and that make you feel good about yourself.

How do you feel about your body? How do you keep your body happy?

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  1. kathrynoh

    Fantastic post. I find having a positive body image something I have to constantly work at.

  2. Jessika

    great post! I'm overweight which recently caused a doctor to tell me that I had to lose weight. I was in the midst of recovering from a severe bout of pneumonia and it is known that morbidly obese persons ar emore prone to serious infections. It wasn't what I needed to hear because I was struggling with myself as it was at the time.

  3. Emily

    Thanks for this. It is so easy to engage in self hate and self loathing (It is something that I struggle with). February is the month of love and we should be finding ways to love ourselves. Great post!

  4. melissa

    This was a great post. Number 1 seems so easy and is very true but can be such a struggle. I hate seeing the size on the tag and sometimes it feels like it just ruins my whole day.

    But, when I can get over it and buy something that fits I feel so much better about wearing it. I'm not stuck in track pants and big t-shirts.

  5. ashe mischief

    I can't agree with #1 more– as a plus-sized gal, that's probably the #1 thing that has significantly changed my life. It started when I lost weight & had to buy new clothes– that fit. It stuck through when I gained it back. Wearing something that fits and shows I have pride in my body has made all the difference.

  6. Rachael

    "You ARE worth looking your best." What a powerful statement! I loved this post.

    I actually have a hard time with the way MY body looks compared even to plus-size models. I'm not much overweight, but I carry all my extra pounds in my belly, whereas most plus-size models look so lovely and smooth everywhere. Good reminders to stop worrying about how I look compared to others, or even really how I look.

  7. -Trashy Betty-

    Amazing post! Thank you! 🙂 I am a plus size girl!! and PROUD!!!

  8. diana

    i do think this post is wonderful.

    but i also think its SO important to remember that being HEALTHY trumps being SKINNY.

    i am all about self-confidence and always seeing beauty in every human, we need to take care of our bodies and our health; having an excess of pounds can be super dangerous.

  9. Big Sky Girl

    as a plus sized girl I cannot agree w/number 1 MORE. I see girls skinnier than I am who just don't seem to get it. when you wear clothes that don't fit it makes you look HUGE. Think about it like this: if you put ten pounds of potatoes in a ten pound bag, it'd be ok, right? the potatoes would look DELICIOUS in the bag. but when you try to cram the same ten pounds of potatoes in a five pound bag, they don't fit. they're spilling out over the sides, or maybe they're smushed together, they might even start to rot because they don't have enough room. Makes that same ten pounds of potatoes look like crap, am I right?

    Of the few boys I've loved in my life, the one thing they all had in common was that they LOVED my boobs, my hips, and my ass. When I look at MYSELF, sure, I have moments of "um. wow. not okay." but those moments are FLEETING. because i remember that i AM sexy, and I AM beautiful, and even more importantly, I'm SMART, and WORTHY, and a GOOD PERSON.

    all that being said, I am currently busting my ass to get HEALTHIER (not necessarily SKINNIER) because I would like to have a baby in the next 5-10 years, and I know at my current weight/health level…. that's probably not a super easy feat. but i'm not doing it because of what anyone else thinks. I'm doing it FOR ME.

    Sarah, your posts are always so wonderful. Thank you for yet another thought provoke-er 🙂 xoxo!

  10. Gracey

    What a wonderful post. Number 1 is pretty easy for me – like age for Aaliyah, clothes size for me is nothing but a number. But number 4 – that is very hard. I like to pick on my thighs even though they don't deserve it. From me or anyone else. I'm going to try harder there. Thank you for this.

  11. meghana

    i was thinking back to my teenage years and its ironic, that i was the skinny girl in a plus-size world….just as challenging! got taunted all the time and teased!

  12. SallyB

    I purposely went out of my way to go from being a skinny girl to plus sized. I LOVE being this size! I packed on 40 pounds of fat to get myself to being a plus sized girl and to tell the truth, it's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I wouldn't have it any other way. I stopped working out, adopted a sedentary lifestyle, ate a high fat diet and the weight came on very quickly and now I love how I look. My breasts are the size 40D I spent my entire life dreaming of them being and that's the best part of having gained so much weight. I am not at all ashamed of having gotten heavy; on the contrary, it frees me from the slavery to the scale. I can eat anything I want and not worry about my weight anymore. If I gain more weight, cool. Bring it on. I'm ready. Plus size clothing is really beautiful and there's lots of it out there that looks great, so I don't have to give up fashion for a heavier body. I'm getting used to this whole idea of living in a totally different sized body than the slender one I have spent my entire life living in and it's turning out to be a great experience. I love how I look and feel as a plus size and am happy that I have the body I do. Plus size ROCKS!

  13. albina N muro

    In a world overrun with messages and images dictating how you are supposed to feel about your body, what size it is supposed to be, or what you are supposed to wear, it can often be extremely difficult to harden your resolve and decide to love your body regardless of your size. I want to be a plus size model

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