This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/challenging/amazing things. This is the story of “Clara” and her struggles with intuitive abilities. I realize that some readers may not believe that such a thing exists or question the validity of Clara’s claims. Regardless, please keep comments respectful.
Can you tell us a bit about your background?
I was born in a typical middle class family from Eastern Europe (where we are still living). My parents don’t regard the supernatural with disdain or hate or any type of prejudice. In fact most of my relatives from my mother’s side have dreams where they communicate with dead relatives, which sounds extremely scary and cool. But that never happened to me.
My father’s side is on the hand is very strict and rigid, but I don’t stay in touch with them so when I talk about my family, I mean my parents and my relatives from my mother’s side. All of them are extremely curious about the paranormal. And they were extremely supportive when I was young and I didn’t fully understand what I was saying.I’m extremely fortunate to have a family like mine who keep me grounded, but at the same time they gave me the liberty I need. It was my dad who paraphrased to me the Einstein quote “I could live my life as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle.”
How old were you when you realized that you could sense things that others couldn’t? Can you remember your first experience?
I don’t remember my first experience mostly because I blocked it out, but from what my mother told me I was three when I started to tell her I was seeing angels.
At the time my mother was still studying medicine and she had a lot of exams. The night before her exams, I apparently had the habit to tell her the grade she would get. And I was always right. The only experience I remember from that period in time was when I was 6 and my grandmother was dying of pancreatic cancer. I had a dream of the Virgin Mary and she told me my grandmother will die in 3 days. I told my mother and she didn’t believe me until my grandmother died three days later.
Now that I look back at my life I wonder if my mother hated me even for a minute for saying that/having that dream. I don’t touch this subject much because it saddens me deeply, I loved my grandmother dearly and that dream still haunts me. It’s probably one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve been through because of this gift.
Did you tell anyone about it? How did they react to it?
Yes, as a child I told my friends – they would laugh and tease me about how I was demented and a freak. I was 9 when I started praying and asking that whatever I had to be taken. I wanted to be normal, to be accepted, a normal human being and not some circus novelty. When I was 15, My mother found out about this endeavour of mine, which partially worked.
Now except for my parents, there’s only one other person I have officially told what I sense and it’s someone similar to myself. This person, let’s call her A., has been not only extremely supportive, but she’s been helping me harness what I have, guiding me in a sense and explaining things that I would have never understood. She taught me about energies, chakras, and controlling this gift in some ways.
How did you feel about have these powers?
Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it, most of the time I am indifferent to it. To me, at the moment, who I am is the definition of normal. I spent about 9 to 10 years hating who I was, having so many issues with myself, not understanding who, what, why I was. But there was happiness and growth in time.
Have you ever talked to a professional intuitive about this?
Oh yes! I have been lied to by “professionals,” I have been thrown out by people because I was blocking their “sight,” I was asked in a very rude manner what I was doing there when I clearly know what I want to know, I was vampirised energetically.
Most real professional intuitives have just enjoyed having conversations about how I see things, how I feel about the world. One of the most memorable events was at the presidential election of my country when two candidates were neck in neck and I told several well established, renowned intuitives that the guy they were declaring at the time the winner was going to lose. And wouldn’t you know it, I was right!
Would you ever consider trying to make a living off it?
No, I don’t think I could ever do that. And it’s not about the potential monetary success, it’s just I know I am not here to do that. I don’t know what exactly I am here to do, but I know it’s not this gift that I have to exploit.
How do you feel about knowing and feeling these things? Do you consider it a blessing or a curse?
Mostly I keep it hidden, but I do feel guilty for knowing some things in advance. I learned to accept who I am, in all my weirdness. I also feel I have learned to be more accepting of things I don’t understand and I tend not to be judgmental of people and take them how they are. I think I have this gift to thank for that. It’s been the source of a lot of pain, but it’s been worth it.
We tend to view things in stereotypes and if something breaches that stereotype we catalogue it as being evil, horrible. People reject the unknown because they are scared. Maybe your friends will be intimidated or your parents will consider you as being abnormal. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. You are your worst judge, your worst censor. You are the one who can make or break the situation.
We all need love and support – be very careful who you tell; some of the most understanding people I’ve met became Bible thumping maniacs when I told them about the experience that I’ve had. They looked at me like I am some sort of Devil child!
And don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed of your abilities. Negativity can break anyone. Being attuned with your feelings and the world around you can bring a lot of insight for any person in the world.
Do you any of you think you might have intuitive abilities? Have you ever visited a psychic? Any (respectful! polite!) questions for Clara?