- I get really motion sick and I’ll puke if we’re driving through the mountains (even if I take Dramamine).
- I don’t like it when people eat cocktail shrimp in my vicinity.
- There are various exes I’d prefer not to run into.
- I don’t like amusement parks or the State Fair.
- Wearing cashmere or angora makes me feel like the walls are closing in.
- I don’t like to be around large groups of drunk strangers.
- After about four hours of conversation or group engagement, the light turns off inside me and I need to go sit in a quiet place by myself. And preferably read lady magazines or nap.
You know who likes constantly accommodating one person’s needs? Absolutely no one.
If I don’t like it when you eat cocktail shrimp next to me, maybe I should move.
Rather than asking you not to invite my ex to that party, maybe I should go early. Or late. Or go whenever I want and then not talk to them.
You’re having a birthday party at an amusement park? How about I buy you a drink the day before?
If I feel myself reaching my social quota I can just excuse myself and go the eff home.
And nobody’s going to hold me down and make me wear angora.Of course it’s nice when the people in our lives work around our stuff! When they take into consideration our gluten intolerance or our fear of snakes or the fact that we’re on a really tight budget!
But ultimately, I am the only person who is responsible for myself, my happiness, and dealing with my issues. And I imagine you’re in the same boat.
If reading fashion magazines makes you feel bad about your body, don’t read them.
If a specific friend always brings you down, stop hanging out with them.
If a friend invites you to a cabin weekend that you can’t afford, don’t go.
If you’re a vegetarian and your friends invite you to a steakhouse, either don’t go or go and order a baked potato and a martini.
If you’re gluten intolerant and you get invited to a potluck, bring a dish that you love so you’ll have something to eat.
If you’re having a rough, grumpy day, don’t take it out on your roommate/partner/parent. Go to the gym, go for a walk, write in your journal is a sulky, dramatic manner.
As harsh as it sounds, I find this approach really empowering.Making my wellbeing someone else's responsibility is an exercise in disappointment management. Click To Tweet
When I decided that I was the only one responsible for working around my stuff, life got a lot easier and friendships became a lot more fun.
(People like you more when you’re not asking them to stop eating that shrimp so loudly.)
What issues are you working through? How do you work around them without expecting everyone to make exceptions for you? (and have you ever been guilty of being too demanding?)