4 Little Ways To Show People You Love ‘Em

 
Sometimes, when I think about my friends I get a little verklempt.  And by “a little verklempt” I mean “at least twice in the last year I’ve cried about how great my friends are” (?!)When things are bad, they send me flowers, bring me magazines and hash browns, call me from New Zealand, and get just as upset as I am.  When things are good, they shriek with joy, give me high fives, and tell me they’re proud of me.  We speak in a series of inside jokes and talk each other out of questionable boots/haircuts/sweaters.

Just like a good romantic relationship, I never worry if they’re ‘into me.’  I don’t have to worry, because I know we’re all totally, totally in L-O-V-E with each other.

Want to show your friends (or family or partner) that you think they’re The Best?  Here are a few of my favorite ways to love up my people.

1.  Post a funny photo or video on their Facebook page for their birthday
I mean, I would hope that you’re also going to call them/give them a gift/go to their party.  But you know what’s better than a Facebook post that says “Hope it’s a good one!”?  A hilarious video or photo pertinent to your friend’s interests.  You know, like these corgis singing happy birthday or Ryan Gosling inviting her to “blow out her candles.”
2. Send them an email with a memory about them
If you’ve fallen out of touch with someone, drop them an email about something awesome you did together.  Like that time you and Kathryn took the train to Taoyen, convinced you’d be able to find that basement hip hop club you went to one time and instead just ended up wandering around for two hours, drinking Red Bull and asking every 7-11 employee for directions in broken Chinese.  You know.It’s a great way to reopen communication, remind someone you still think of them, and just be awesome.


3) Tell their partner what they’d like for Christmas/their birthday

One of the tricks of good gift giving is to ask your partner’s BFF what they’d like.  However.  Not everyone is aware of this trick or feels comfortable admitting they don’t know what their lover wants.  You can help by sending an email along the lines of this one:”I’m sure you’ve already got something super awesome in mind for BFF’s birthday present, but if you find yourself stuck, I’ve seen her checking out these earrings, like, five times. :)”

4) Remember the anniversary of tough stuff
A friend who lost her mom at age 20 once shared a fantastic insight with me.  She said that when you lose someone in your life or something really hard happens, people are really supportive for about a month.  But then they move on and you’re still sad – for a long time.  She said that it really helped her (and made her feel loved and supported) when people remembered the anniversary of her mom’s death and checked in with her around that time of year.So if your friend goes through something really tough – the loss of a family member or partner, a divorce, a miscarriage – mark that date on your calendar and in the coming years, make a point to email or text them on that date.  Even if it’s just to say “I’m keeping you in my thoughts today.”

How do you show the people in your life that you love them?  How do they show you?

photo one by chelsea victoria, for sale here // photo four by jane heller, for sale here // calendar by silhouette blue, for sale here

19 Comments

laura fox gill

it's nice to send dumb stuff to friends in emails instead of on facebook/twitter sometimes (like pictures of funny dogs) because then they know its JUST for them and that you've been thinking of them and put a bit more effort in x

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ilovemyvintage

this is so sweet!i think i have some emails to send. its one of those things that always make me happy to receive and then somehow i forget to initiate it myself.
a lovely reminder 🙂 🙂 thank you

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Mandy

Oh, I just love this post. Another thing I'd add is sending a postcard or a letter. Getting something in the mail always makes you feel special…especially if you cover it in Lisa Frank stickers.

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Maggie

That last one is so, so clutch. Seriously. It makes a huge difference. I lost my little brother almost seven years ago and to this day my best friends check in with me around that time of year and on his birthday.

My friends and your friends should have a "most awesome friend olympics" and by that I mean huge party.

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Amy

LOVE THIS. I have a few friends who always help Andrew with gifts and I love 'em for it. I also love the advice to check in with friends on difficult dates. Great post, Sar!

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Holly

Great post! I especially agree with #4 – as a friend of too many young folks who've lost a parent, remembering these dates has really cemented my friendships.

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Kait

I love this so much! I recently moved across the country, far away from my family and best friends, and I'm always looking for ways to show that I love them even if I'm in a different time zone.

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Stacy Spensley

Wonderful post, Sarah. I definitely have done these things (yay validation!) but could do them more deliberately and more often (yay inspiration!). My friend's mom passed away in December last year and I've been hanging on to the sympathy card I bought her, because she'll always miss her mom. I think I'll send it right before the holiday season when that type of loss is remembered most keenly.

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Gina N.

I especially like no. 4. I lost my mom four years one of my co-workers always gives me a card around my Mom's anniversary. The smallest gestures can make the nicest impressions.

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Gem Wilder

Great list! Although sometimes you can only do your best. Like the Christmas I tried helping my notoriously bad at gift buying brother-in-law by telling him about an album my sister would love, & he said he had it covered. My sister ended up getting a can opener for Christmas. Seriously.

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Angie

#4…one of my best friends lost her daughter to a car accident three years ago. She said the same thing…people are supportive in the beginning and then they don't know how to react to the situation. She has been my bff for two years now. On the "anniversary" (I hate that but can't think of a better word) of Taylor's death, we always get together and hang out, laugh, cry, eat, drink vino. It's good for both of our souls.

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The Curious Cat

Your friends are clearly better than some of mine…I feel like a lot of them have let me down recently…well my supposed best ones anyway… I would do all the things above for them…but I doubt they'd do the same and for some, if I did these things I'm worried it was just annoy them…

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Anonymous

Great post! Perfect timing, because today I started posting 5 things I love about each of my friends on Facebook. Just thinking the items up is fun and makes me happy thinking about what great friends I have. I highly recommend it!!

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Our Dear Lady Expatriate

I really love this post, Sarah. It's so good to have a reminder to send messages with beautiful memories. I keep thinking that I've just done it, but meanwhile a whole bunch of time has passed and I just haven't realized it.
The point about remembering the tough stuff is right on point, too. My dearest friends always remember to give me a shout on the anniversary of my brother's death, and it means the world to me.
Such a good post, Ms. Yes and Yes. So good I needed to include it on my Loveliest Links page for the week. http://ourdearladyexpatriate.blogspot.com/2012/10/loveliest-links-october-28th-edition.html

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hannah

This is such a wonderful post, and you've gained a new follower because of it 🙂 I'm about to check out the rest of your blog, but wanted to say how lovely these little thoughts are. I lost my dad three years ago, before I was 21. And every year, on the anniversary, it makes me feel happy that people remember him, and that they care for me enough to send me little reminders that they too are remembering. These are great tips 🙂 I feel myself embarking on a project of finding past photos and conjuring up the stories to go with them, just to remind some of my friends of all the awesome times we've had. Lovely blog! Hannah x

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