Every year I compile a list of new things I want to try. Some are difficult, some are weird, some are disappointingly normal. You can read about past adventures here.
Ever since Gob rolled onto Arrested Development in his Segway I knew I had to experience this two wheeled wonder of dorkdom for myself. There's actually a Segway tour that runs through my neighborhood and I see them all the time - in their helmets and yellow-shirted tour guide, zooming along the sidewalk and signalling with their arms to indicate before they turn. It was all so weird and dorky I could barely handle it.
So when a Groupon for a two-hour Segway rental arrived in my inbox, I was sure it was Providence at work and goaded my dude into joining me. You guys? I haven't had so much fun in months.
Here's what you need to know about Segwaying your way to joy:
1. There's maybe a 90-second learning curve
Get on it. Lean forward to go faster, lean back to slow down. Pull the handle in the direction you want to go. Annnnnnd now you're a master Segway-er. Done!
2. They top out at 12 mph
I know this because my guy and I spent much of our two hour rental trying to drag race each other on Minneapolis's greenway. But when both your Segways top out at the same speed, it's a pretty anti-climactic race - despite our best efforts to crouch down and make ourselves more aerodynamic and paddling through the air to gain momentum.
3. 70% of the population will grin/cheer/laugh/yell when they see you
Why? Maybe because we were grinning like idiots the whole time? Because Segways are just so dorky and awesome? Because it's hilarious to share a lane with super serious lycra-ed cyclists, while we stand fully erect, calmly zeeeeeewwwwming along?
4. Try to rent a Segway, rather than take part in a tour
Tours are lovely, but you'll have to stop all the time and toddle along at a sedate six miles an hour. It's heaps more fun just to rent one and zoom all over the city. And then you can take them to a dirt baseball diamond and write your name in the dirt and make donuts. You know, hypothetically.
5. You are going to have The Most Fun Ever - if you can get over looking like a fool
Travel has made me almost immune to looking foolish - I can spend hours speaking a language badly, getting lost, getting sunburned, making social faux pas, so it takes a lot to make me embarrassed. Sure, Segways are dorky. But you'll also experience that visceral, almost physical joy that we only seem to be capable of from ages 9-15. Really, truly your face will ache from grinning.
Have you ever ridden a Segway? What would you like to do, but won't because you're afraid you'll look silly?