This guest post comes to us via the wonder that is Medicinal Marzipan. She writes about beauty, body and self love. Pop over and say hi!
Can we talk about this?
A reader poll on the blog Sexgenderbody states: When I look at myself naked in the mirror, I feel... To which 57% of the responses answered shame.
We all know people
who are carrying around shame and
self-loathing towards their bodies. As someone who is no stranger to
feeling ashamed when I look at myself in the mirror, it breaks my heart to know that others feel the same way. This negative pattern can contaminate every part of your life and
self-perception – the clothes that you put on in the morning,
your feelings of acceptance and happiness in your
job/friendships/relationships, your sex life, and (most importantly)
to your relationship with your self.
Learning to love yourself regardless of your size
is one of the most crucial and beneficial gifts that a person can give
themselves. The ripple effects of learning to experience self
love will touch every part of your life, improving and lightening the
load of your heart with every step. Think
of how much more time you would have if you could replace feelings of self-loathing with feelings of joy and
love and abundance!
Amazingly, I’ve found that this problem lends itself to nearly ALL body types and sizes. While I might quietly resent a very thin friend of
mine who regales me with her negative body image and personal feelings of shame, it is important to keep perspective on this point. Nearly everyone, no matter how skinny/tall/perfectly shaped they may look, feels this way about themselves from one time to another. It’s important to promote healthy body image regardless of size, even when that seems difficult.
Tools for learning to love your body no matter what your size:
you and allows you to feel comfortable/sexy/pulled together/happy. STOP
WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. There is nothing worse than
feeling like you have to starve yourself for a week to fit into that
dress you bought a size too small, because you just couldn’t bring yourself to
buy a size 6/14/24/whatever.
* Talk sweetly to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how
beautiful you look. Bonus points if you can do this naked. Because,
remember, you are beautiful, many people probably think so, and a little
reminder to your heart here and there will go a long, long way.
* Do not give people who delight in making you feel
fat/ugly/unlovable/unworthy a SINGLE SECOND more of your time. Wash your
hands of them (but have compassion, because probably the root of their
meanness lies in their own insecurities).
* Move your body. It is MUCH harder to hate your _insert body part here_ when
it is directly responsible for allowing you to walk down the
street/carry your groceries/have amazing sex/pick up your children. You
will feel better with every step you take. Bonus points for doing
something like hula hooping which will both cause you to move your body
around, and also allow you to express some sensual creativity. (It is an
absolute fact that you cannot feel badly about your body and hula hoop
at the same time, this is a 100% smile guarantee.)
* Do not sit around with your friends/family/loved ones and bitch
about your bodies as a form of social interaction. It hurts you. It
hurts them. I am willing to risk my life that you have better things you
could be doing with your time.
photo (without text on top) Tiffany Bailey // cc