Now, I don't particularly buy in to the concept of daily astrological predictions. ("You will make an important decision today," Really? Does the decision between cheddar and Swiss in my sandwich count?) However! I am pretty entertained by astrologically determined personality traits ... largely because I am a by-the-book Virgo, ready for anything with my stash of post-its, hand sanitizer and tiny sewing kit. And this got me wondering ... how would these astrologically determined traits translate into Halloween candy choices?
Aries - Adventurous and impulsive, Aries is the girl who joyfully pockets the unwrapped candy from your creepy Boo Radley neighbor. She might also try sucking on the nickels Old Lady Hanson is handing out or punch any untoward zombies in the throat.
Taurus - Candy corn is security and reliability formed in tri-colored sugar ... which is perfect for tradition-loving Taurus. She'll gladly trade you all of her yuck-o black licorice for your three pounds of candy corn.
Gemini - Sweet Tarts are great for these Zodiac twins. Because they're sweet! and tart! and sweet! and then tart again! She also loves to suck all the dye off so she can flash her creepy blue zombie tongue at all the boys.
Cancer - Affectionate Cancer is holding out hope that someone has a few out-dated boxes of Valentine candy hearts for her. Then she can coyly slip them into her cutie's candy pail and feign ignorance when they find 15 hearts that read 'Hot Buns.'
Leo - Wax lips make for a great conversation piece and attention-getter, which Leo loves. And anything that makes a girl look a bit more like Angelina Jolie can't be discounted. Even if it means chewing on wax all night.
Virgo - M&Ms are perfect Virgo food. So clean and glossy! Conveniently melting in your mouth - not in your hand like those pesky, inconsiderate Snowcaps. M&Ms are also designed for compulsive color coding and then consumption in ascending ROYGBIV order.
Libra - Diplomatic, easy-going Libra is the friend who will trade you her king-size Butterfinger for a half eaten roll of Necco wafers. She is also the friend who whole-heartedly believes your flash-light-under-the-chin horror stories and is still a little unnerved by a darkened bathroom.
Scorpio - Any excuse to flirt is a good one for passionate, magnetic Scorpio. A candy necklace presents endless possibilities for strangers to nibble at her neck and use classy lines like "You look good enough to eat."
Sagittarius - "Where did the kittens go on their class trip? - the meow-seum." may not be your idea of comic genius, but jovial, philosophical Sagittarius thinks Laffy Taffy is the height of hilarity. Meow-seum, indeed.
Capricorn - Practical, prudent Capricorn has reviewed her candy options and the caramel apple seems to be her safest bet. A bit of fiber, vitamin C and it won't set her back toooo far at the gym.
Aquarius - While all her friends are fake gagging over their black licorice, independant, original Aquarius swoops in and gladly relieves them of it. Who cares if they say it's Grandpa candy?
Contrary to my Virgo birthdate, I actually love me some Reese's Pieces and Panda Black Licorice.
What's your favorite candy?
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16 comments:
As a double Capricorn with Taurus rising, I approve of your Capricorn selection. Though I could also eat Starburst all day long.
Scorpio is dead on!
I've got the Virgo/Libra cusp happening, as you know...but I'm firmly, FIRMLY in the Virgo-M&M category. It's true, I color code and eat in descending order.
Yay! I'm so glad I got it right - I was afraid someone would be all "Ummmm, a Gemini would *never* eat that. How gauche."
also, i'm impressed that you made all of these up yourself. that seems like a lot of applied insight, dude.
Oh, I totally didn't. Definitely googled "Astrology - personality traits." Huge nerd = me.
capital A to the men on the scorpioness -- nice!! licorice def wins a silver metal in the "if i could eat one type of candy every day" category.
I'm Libran, but only by a day or two, just after the cusp of Virgo and Libra. And I have to say that candy-wise, I'm definitely landing on the Virgo side of things. I LOVE m&m's :D
I am SUCH a Leo... but I love candy corn, + I don't get why everybody makes fun of it! Srsly, so tasty!
Jilly Bean! Glad to see you here! I didn't know you were a fellow black licorice lover - we may have to wrestle over those remaining black jelly beans now ...
Scorpio is perfect!
This double Libra / Ares ascendant loves her Snickers and other mini chocolate bars. And also punching untoward zombies in the throat. Just ... keep me away from the horror stories, you're freaking me out. *nervous shifting*
Gemini cricket you got me right with the sour/sweet, but that joke was a little Sagittarius wasn't it?
X - a gemini
Haha, this is great! I am a Gemini and I laughed out loud, because I have my hair dyed blue at the moment... it's not for the boys though it might as well be!
Also I totally agree with you that the dailies are usually rubbish - but reliable monthlies and personality traits are dead on. x
you hit the aquarian right on the head!! out of the list, the black licorice is my fave, closely followed by the swedish fish :)
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