Idea Thief: DIY Fashion Edition

Here are some things I love: cheese, kittehs, fashion. Here is something I don't have: piles of money. You don't have piles of money, either? Weird. Well, don't you worry your pretty head, friend! The web is rife with cute, inspiring, (relatively) easy DIY fashion ideas! Here are some of my favorites - links to instructions embedded in photos.

In the event that you want to re-live your gothy
high school years. Or just embrace this season's goth-inspired looks.
Sweetly edgy, no?

I would love to rock this be-feathered blazer
at a business meeting. If I ever had business meetings.
Really, I would wear it and my students would be all
"Teacher, why are you wearing a bird jacket?"

Why indeed.

Would you believe it if I told you these crazy earrings

are made from plastic bottles? Yes, you probably would.
But aren't they cool?

If you feel like your black stillettos still need more
sexy. Or more cowbell.

Okay, there are actually no instructions for this ring.
But I know a smarty like you can figure it out.

Sexify an old t-shirt. Probably best layered over
something else, unless you're planning on employing
some strategically placed electrical tape.

Put those ripped tights to good use with this
uber-hip necklace. Created by the one and only Lady Smaggle!


I think this lovely little number could
work for the office or drinks. Because chain =
drink-worthy, right?

What DIY fashion have you dabble with?

The Problem with Pleasant

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When you are arrive in this world, if you have the good luck to be born in Minnesota you will be issued three things: a love for beige-colored food, a dry sense of humor and a compulsion to be pathologically pleasant. You will be able to make small talk with anything that breathes, smile stiffly in the face of adversity and say 'the right thing' in nearly any situation.

To say that I am riddled with a case of chronic pleasantness might be an understatement. Of course, I'm sometimes shocked into snarkiness and I have no problem writing off things/people that displease me but I would rather turn inside out than make someone feel badly about themselves. I am that girl who actually engages in conversation with the crazy homeless guy in the grocery store parking lot ("Oh yeah? That's a new tin foil hat? More effective than a colander, eh?") and responds with a disgruntled "Hey" when the hood rat leaning in the bus stop says "How yoooouuuu doin?"

What?! Who interacts with these people?

I am also the person who holds up the other end of the conversation with the socially inept guy at the party ("Really, LOTR is better than the Wheel of Time series?"), the person who feels awful brushing off the skeezy guy with terrible pick up lines and the person who nods along through the 45 minute monologue about the dream the IT guy had last night. (It featured a snake in a vest, in case you're interested).

I would rather chew off my arm that make someone feel uncomfortable or insecure, but the chronic pleasantness? It makes me uncomfortable! I was bemoaning this to my favorite New Yorker and college roommate Ellie who, after putting her eyes back in her head from all that rolling, yelled "Sarah! Why do you care if you make these people uncomfortable!? They chose to make you uncomfortable first!"

Touche, my friend.

Girlfriend is right. I don't want to be insensitive to others' feelings, but why am I putting their psychological well-being before mine? Surely, I would enjoy that party more if I was mingling with my friends rather than humoring the wall-flower's one-sided conversation. And, really, why respond to street comments? What's going on with that? Thus, I am now taking a pledge to be slightly less pleasant and a bit more socially self-centered.

Here's hoping they don't revoke my Minnesota citizenship.

Do you ever suffer from being too nice?

Web Time Wasters

It's Humpday ! Bring on the links!

My girl Winona at Daddy Likey is giving away a gorgeous National Geographic photo book that she contributed to. Yes, that's right. In addition to being hilarious and adorable, girlfriend works for N.G. Stop stealing my dreamlife 'Nona!

I'm not entirely sure why I find this illustration so funny. Probably because I would put my cat in a hat and talk to him.

What a fantastic wedding bouquet!

True story ripped from the headlines? Or Scooby Doo plot? Take this quiz to find out.

I hope that the next wedding I go to gives these out at favors. Toooo cuuuute!

I love Barnaby Bradford's work - Hummel-esque figurines eating McDonalds and spray painting graffiti.

As a former ex-pat in Asia, I found this article incredibly fascinating: three famous Chinese chefs come to America, eat at our best restaraunts and find the food here bizarre and nearly inedible. And we get wound up over bird's nest soup and thousand-year old eggs!

This reminds me of my friend who made a pair of pants out of beanie babies he won from the claw machine .

As if there aren't enough ways to entertain yourself at the Goodwill, Goatygoat came up with a new one.

Don't you want to give this necklace to your bestie?

The cutest AC adaptor in The Land!

You probably need to buy this t-shirt for the vapire-lover in your life.

Amber has some great ideas of some lovely things to do for cheap/free

Have you seen these photos of Anne Hathaway and Johnny Depp for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland? It seems the Mad Hatter was inspired by Carrot Top, no?

What's the best stuff you've found on the internetz lately?

30 New Things: Make Sweet corn Ice cream

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Professional Minnesotan Garrison Keillor is credited with saying sweet corn is better than sex. Sooooo, sweet corn ice cream? That must be your own personal passport into heaven, right?

Right. Last weekend my lovely friends Shaun and Erin helped me brave the waters of culinary exploration to create this version of summer in a bowl. We used this recipe. And while it was a bit fussy (my strengths have never been yolk/white separation or tempering) it is worth every blessed step. Also, it takes a while so you can drink a lot of wine, eat a lot of cheese and tell funny stories about emotionally needy dogs while you wait.

And it is so worth the wait! Insanely creamy, just the right amount of sweet and tasting exactly like the sweet corn you buy off the back of a truck, down a tiny dirt road on the Iowa border. So, so highly recommended.

Would you try sweet corn ice cream? What's your favorite non-traditional ice cream flavor?

Happy-fy-ing Your Home

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As some of you guys may know, a few months ago I went through A Very Bad Breakup. And though I have very much turned the corner on what was one of the hardest periods in my life, there is still the occasional moment when I stare into the middle distance, sigh discontentedly and feel the need to eat a lot of fake bacon.

When my three-year relationship ended, I moved into an adorable little shoe box of an apartment and decided that this little place? It was going to be a bastion of joy and silliness and positivity, and that anyone who crossed the thresh hold would want to play Pictionary, talk to the cat and feel happy and peaceful. So I've been slowly en-happy-ing my apartment, making it impossible to feel anything other than glee while hanging there. Here's what has worked for me:

Put up pictures of you and your friends being hilarious, adorable, amazing
Too often my walls are decorated with etsy finds or tastefully abstract art. But isn't it much more fun to cover the fridge and cork board with the photos of you and your friends voguing at a party? Or climbing mountains together? or with Jesus tape over your mouths?

Make it smell happy
Aromatherapy is for real, yo. The people who know about these things advocate for scents like tangerine, grapefruit, lemongrass and rosemary. Yummo!

Paint an accent wall a color you love
Colors make a huge difference in how you feel about a space. When I moved into my apartment, it featured awful flesh-toned satin-finish paint on every blessed wall. No one wants to live inside a skin ball. But! Now it's white with accent walls in a color best described as mermaid. And I feel so much better. It's enough to make a girl want to comb her hair with a fork and sing about being part of your world.

Stock your fridge and pantry with food that you lovelovelove
Things that are depressing: opening your fridge to discover you have a bag of moldy radishes, one Coors light and a slice of leftover pizza. Grocery shopping is the one avenue where I allow myself to spend indiscriminately and I love stocking my kitchen with food that thrills me: strawberries, wine, baguettes, fake bacon, tiny fingerling bananas. It's lovely open those doors and feel happy about what you find.

Consider the Non-cheesy Inspirational Poster
Yes, such a thing exists. And no, I'm not talking about those awful black-edged numbers with someone standing on a mountain top. The Poster List has some excellent choices that will work with your decor and won't embarrass you in front of your friends. I particularly like this one and this one.

Add a Bit O' Greenery
Plants are our friends. I am absolutely in love with my balcony garden of tiny vegetables and herbs and I hope to increase my herbiary family to include a Venus fly trap and one of those fantastic tiny pepper plants. Plants seem to make a space feel friendlier, don't you think?

Incorporate Favorite Things into Your Decor
This might not be an issue for non-Virgos, but I get very hung up on the matchy-matchy and Decor with a capitol D. But you guys? Imagonna get over that. Let's find a place for our high school dancing trophies. And our pound puppies from third grade. And that plaque in Swedish from our grandma.

Get a pet
If you're living along or just going through a rough patch, few things make you feel better faster than an animal friend. I spend an embarrassing amount of time chatting with my cat, lecturing him on his attitude and attempting to give him a lion cut. Even if the most pet you can muster is a just a beta fish or Robo-dog, I promise you, it'll help.

Stock up on engaging, funny books and movies
If you're trying to get over a break up/lay off/grad school rejection, put away the Dostoevsky and Dancer in the Dark. I can never get enough of Bill Bryson, David Sedaris or, as of late, Harry Potter. And few things can lift my spirits like Babe, Billy Elliot or American Teen.

Paint the inside of your closets or cupboards a crazy color
Such a lovely surprise when you open those doors every morning! How cute is this? I'm pretty sure even your sweaters will be happier, nestled in a place that colorful.

Incorporate the whimsical and ridiculous into your space
I am all over this, friends. How about a door painted with chalkboard paint? Tiny animal cut outs peeking between your books? Crazy science posters? A fighter jet that your cat can hang out in? All valid options, all really fun.

What do you do to make your living space more happy?

30 New Things: Go out For Breakfast Before Work

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Now. I will grant you that going out to eat before work isn't quite as challenging as cycling 88 miles with no training or braving a Scientology lair, but it's hard to resist the siren song of pancakes, yo.

So it was with visions of giant muffins dancing in our heads that my friend Jess and I braved drizzle, fog and 6 am eye goobers to dine at our local Perkins. I ordered my usual stomach torture of orange juice, coffee and hashbrowns and Jess indulged in the ubiquitous giant muffin. We chatted about dinosaurs and thrifting, eavesdropped on the people across the aisle discussing Catholicism and attempted to guess our server's gender (the jury's still out - those fake nails aren't fooling anyone, dude).

I headed off to into the rain, feeling smug that it was only 7 am and I had already accomplished something fun and lovely. Recommended.

It's Just That Simple

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Long Weekend, Lovely Projects

Now, I realize that it's entirely possible that you are going to spend your long weekend eating your way through grilled peaches, attending outdoor concerts and applying sunscreen every three hours. But! What if it rains? Or you're all socialized out by Saturday night? Or you really kind of want to potter around the house for three days? Then check out these lovely weekend projects! Links to the instructions are embedded in the pictures.

Rattan and wicker furniture seem to be the red-headed

stepchildren of the thrifting scene. And in their natural state they are

a bit Golden Girls, aren't they? But spray paint them a

bold new color and it's a whole different ballgame!

I have approximately a gajillion bangles, but none of them

are patterned. You can use left over scraps of

material or even paper to 'reupholster' your old cuffs.

How adorable is this book shelf?! I suspect if I did this,

nobody would notice all those Twilight books.

Like a homemade Lite-Brite! Only not tacky. Or from the 80s.

Put all those spare buttons to good use with these
adorable dressed up bobby pins. These just cry out to be
matched to a sun dress, don't them?

I love this quirky little side table. Probably because my mom
had something like this when I was growing up. That's
how we roll - decorating with tree branches and squirrel tails.

Because I inexplicably want to hang things from my ceiling.
All the time.

Have a great weekend!

More Than Fireworks and Hotdogs

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This Independence Day, let's do more than wilt on the curb while people throw candy at us. A few ideas?

Buy a packet of sparklers, set your camera's shutter speed to turtle-esque and write gorgeous, sparkly messages in the air. Here's how.

Bake the ubiquitous flag cake. Eat it with your hands and several of your closest friends.

Rock red, white and blue underthings.

Put on your bikini and run through the sprinkler. Bonus points for setting up a Slip n' Slide.

Make an Independence Day play list. Mine would include Ryan Adams' New York, New York, Steve Earl's City of Immigrants, Ani DiFranco's Independence Day, and inexplicably, Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer.

Read about America's Five Most Badass Presidents of All-Time (Andrew Jackson almost beat a would-be asassin to death with his cane?!)

Try these patriotic cocktails.

Take this quiz to determine how independent you are.

Dig out last year's Halloween costume, buy a bucket full o' candy and join the nearest parade.

Make a list of things you love about your country - America or otherwise. I love this list.

Rewatch Team America. Talk like MATT DAMON.

Jump off a rope swing into a swimming hole.

Put new things on the grill - peaches! pineapple! beets!

Kiss someone under fireworks.

Thus far, my plans for the long weekend involve a haircut, painting my living room the color of mermaid, vintage aprons, sweet corn ice cream, maybe an Elvis Costello concert (or maybe White Snake) new and old friends. What about you?

30 New Things: Go To a Scientology 'Church'

A girl has pretty high expectations when she works up the nerve to enter a church of Scientology. Anything that makes Tom Cruise jump on couches must be pretty intriguing, right? When my friend Emily and I braved the doors of Minneapolis's very own Scientology church, this is what we knew about Hollywood's favorite religion:

1. It was created by a 1950s Sci-Fi author who wrote short stories with titles like "The Automagic Horse."
2. It somehow involves an alien ruler named Xenu
3. We have it to blame for the horror that was Battlefield Earth

Both Emily and I were genuinely nervous and spent a good deal of time discussing exactly how much we were going to lie to these people, how much time we'd be willing to devote to this attempted brain washing and how neither of us were allowed to spend any money on over sized books featuring bearded wizards on the cover.

So we were oddly disappointed to walk into the Scientology center and found it well-lit, tastefully decorated and staffed with deceptively normal-seeming people. Apparently we thought it was going to be filled with people wearing body suits and attempting to levitate. I mumbled to the very nice man staffing the front desk that we were interested in taking the personality test and we were handed a long pink survey sheet and ushered to a quiet corner.

All was progressing fairly normally until I encountered the question "Do you ever get a 'dreamlike' feeling toward life when it all seems unreal?" And then "Are you a slow eater?" followed by "Do you ever get disturbed by the noise of the wind?" and "Do you suspect that you are actually a reincarnated Egyptian queen?"

Okay. Not that last one. But the other ones!

Another perfectly nice and deceptively normal woman took our surveys and converted them into graphs which she used to illustrate our mental states. According to our graph interpreter, both Emily and I were crap at making friends, emotionally withholding and damn near unpleasant. In addition to this, apparently I had trouble accomplishing things in my life or taking action.

Friends. There is many a thing about me that is less than stellar. Anal retentive? Yes. Occasionally driven to the point of obsession? Check. Delusional about my dancing ability? Present and accounted for. However! I could (and have) befriend the bitch that hates all women, the weird trekky IT guy or the 63 year-old Hmong shaman. And accomplishing things? That's what I dooooo, y'all.

And my friend Emily? The girl has, like, 3,000 Facebook friends. Friend-making is not her short coming, either.

So we developed a theory. These graphs must be skewed in an effort to give people a complex, thus making them easier prey for Scientology tactics. "Maybe you're right! Maybe I am an emotionally vacant ice queen! Point me in the direction of your over priced wizard books!"

Sadly for them, Emily and I are both a bit too confident in our friend-making skills to fall for that tomfoolery. So we skipped happily out of the church, relieving them of two fat booklets which we then giggled over while drinking a bottle of wine. Awesome.

Final analysis: ridiculous and recommended. It's kind of like a palm reading. Except free. And maybe slightly less valid.

Have you ever taken any of the Scientology tests? Would you?