Homesickness can be a serious downer in the face of all your globe-trotting and passport-stamping. There you are, eating gelato while looking at the Leaning Tower of Pisa and allofasudden you’re overwhelmed with a desire for some mall food and a matinee with your best friend.
There’s not one-size-fits-all, airtight cure for homesickness, but these tips have helped through five years of living abroad and 35 countries.
Ways to Cure Homesickness
Stay in touch with people from home.
No, I mean really stay in touch with them. Not just the ‘once a month’ update stay in touch, but the ‘several times a week, hey remember how I told you about that guy?’ stay in touch.
This will really help ease you into your new home, before you’ve made any new friends or really gotten accustomed to your surroundings. It is not an exaggeration to say that when I move to a new place, my best friend can expect daily emails, detailing the new food I’ve eaten, my most recent cultural faux pas and the caliber of fashion in my new home.
Good friends will probably be really excited/intrigued by your new adventure and email you back pretty quickly. You won’t feel so alone in this strange new place, knowing that someone knows exactly what you’re up to.
Think about what you’re really homesick for
Are you homesick for your friends? Your family? Food, language, weather, hobbies?
Of course, you probably miss all of these things in varying amounts, but it can be helpful to parcel them out and decide what you miss the most. If you really miss your friends and family, Facetime ’em.
Find an expat group, travel somewhere that has the snow/beaches/maple trees that you’ve been missing, find some restaurants that serve a reasonable facsimile of your homeland’s food.
Create a go-to homesickness ‘first-aid kit’
When you feel a bout of homesickness coming on (mine usually came around 2 pm on overcast Sundays) turn to your fail proof treatment. This might be a comfort food from home coupled with familiar TV shows or movies and a call home. Or it might be a visit to a mall or an ice skating rink or a national park.
When I was living in Taiwan, my triage plan was 1) go to the import store and buy refried beans and salsa a) eat burritos with Tamara while watching SATC c) go to the upscale bookstore and pay $7 for a copy of Glamour. This got me through the two typhoon seasons.
Try to push through it
I think it’s also important not to indulge your homesickness too much. Just as we often sugarcoat our time abroad, it’s easy to view home through rose colored glasses and lose sight of all the amazing things going on around you.
Get out an explore your new home, even if it’s just for a few hours at a time. Limit yourself to a few phone calls per week and one session of emailing per day. Try not to compare this new place to home. More likely than not, they’re apples and oranges.
Realize that homesickness is an unavoidable part of travel
Just like there will be days where you hate your job and nights when you question your decision to be with your partner, there will be times that you are fed up with being away from home.
You can’t read the signs, everyone stares at you and you can’t find clothes that fit to save your life. That being said, I know that one of the proudest days in my life was the day that I had to send in my passport to get more pages added.
You never hear people say “God, you know I really wish I hadn’t spent that summer volunteering in Greece.” Travel isn’t always easy, but if you realize that there will be tough days, you will be less likely to take them to heart.
And you can always, always go home.
What would you recommend, friends? How do you deal with homesickness?
So. I teach ESL to southeast Asian refugees. I love my job. I do. It’s amazing and humbling and I spend a good deal of time playing bingo and teaching chants about ‘be’ verbs. It’s a pretty sweet gig.
Several of my students are KaRen, an ethnic minority from eastern Burma. In the past fifty years, the KaRen have made several attempts to lead insurgencies against the military dictatorship and failed. When these attempts failed, the military began to ‘ethnically cleanse’ the country of KaRen, forcing more than 120,000 of them into refugee camps along the Thailand-Burma border.Though only intended for temporary use, many refugee camps housed KaRen for 10-15 years. The camps are halfway between a shanty town and a prison, where refugees live in tents or huts, aren’t allowed to leave the camp without a permit and aren’t taught the language of their host country. Refugees bide their time until they are allocated to a new host country, something that they often have no say in.
This is the history of my students. Now that they have been in Minnesota for a few months, they know how to take the bus and where they can buy coconut milk. They’ve experienced snow and escalators are officially old news. Now that they’re experts on American life, they get quite excited at the prospect of new students who they can surely ‘break in’ and impress with their knowledge of this cold, new place. They were all a’fluster when I told them on Monday that we’d be getting new students the next day.
On Tuesday, I ushered three demure KaRen women into the classroom when one of my students jumped out of his seat and started yelling … because thousands of miles away, years ago, in the mountains of Thailand, they all lived in the same camp. And now here they were again, in my tiny classroom in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
Needless to say, I had to busy myself with my dry erase markers for several minutes so I wouldn’t weep over the joy of it all.
Want to quit your job and travel? If you’ve been dreaming of leaving your job and traveling the world, you might identify with the reader who sent me this email:
I’ve done a bit of traveling in my past years, but in August I decided I was going to go to SE Asia for 7 weeks. I had an incredible time, but am now itching to go back!! I’ve been looking into English teaching programs in Thailand even though I’m a bit hesitant…you know, I worry that I won’t be a good teacher, etc.
I also just want to see more of Asia as I think the people, the land and the cultures are absolutely incredible. Many people here, including my family, don’t understand this or why I would ever want to go back there long term. They have many preconceived notions, which drives me crazy!
I guess I just like the independence and dislike the way corporate America works and want to learn how others around the world live and work. Maybe I’m crazy? Maybe you’re crazy? What do you think? Any tips for English teaching? Any other suggestions?
Why Quitting Your Job to Travel is Okay
I think, if we are being honest with ourselves, not many of us truly thrive in corporate America. Two-week vacations, dress codes and cubicles are not the things are things our childhood selves dreamed of. Studies show that one in three American workers is chronically overworked and 85% of workers worldwide hate with their jobs.
It’s not too crazy to hate your job, find it unfulfilling or want to leave it.
Luckily, it sounds like you are in the position to do something about it.
Leaving a comfortable, reliable paycheck for the unknown is always scary, especially in our current economic and political situation. But you know what’s more scary? Waking up on the eve of your 45th birthday and realizing that you have not lived the life you want and that you’d like a do-over, please.
How to Quit Your Job and Travel Instead
As someone who bailed on her fancy event-planning job for a life in Taiwan, teaching the alphabet to Chinese kindergartners, here’s what worked for me.
Get some teaching experience
If you don’t know much about ESL or you don’t have any teaching experience, it’s a good idea to some class time under your belt. Because it would suck to move to a foreign country and discover you hate your job, right?
A great way to do this is by volunteering at an ESL school in your area. Many schools even provide training for their volunteers. A good place to start in Minnesota is at the Minnesota Literacy Council.
That being said, don’t feel that you need to complete a CELTA or TEFL certificate to get a job teaching in SE Asia. Most schools just require a college degree and a good attitude. If you really enjoy your job and imagine that you’d like to work in ESL for years to come, you can always get one of these certificates later.
Do heaps of research on your country of choice (and be prepared to present all of this information to any and all nay-sayers)
Many Americans have no idea what day-to-day life in SE Asia looks like. I certainly didn’t before I became interested in ESL!
When I told people I was moving to Taiwan they asked me
a) if I planned on eating cats
b) if I would be living in Bangkok
c) If I would live in a pagoda
So it’s really important that you can correct these misconceptions and point out the similarities between life in your two countries. The importance of family, the emphasis placed on education and a great work ethic are all great parallels to start with.
It’s also good to point out how developed and technologically advanced a lot of cities are … it’ll help allay those fears that you’ll be riding a water buffalo to work.
Your family will feel a lot better if they know that someone is picking you up at the airport, helping you find housing, and generally looking out for your best interest. It’s actually quite common to find a job before you go.
I would recommend frequently the expat message boards for your country of choice and seeing what people have to say about the different employers. Pay, benefits and expectations vary greatly between employers so it’s important to find a school that’s right for you.
It’s even a good idea to correspond with current employees at the schools your looking at. They won’t shy away from giving you the unvarnished truth.
Convince your family to chill out
Of course, your family is just concerned because they love you, they’ll miss you and they’re worried about you. All of this ground work and information should go a long way to calm your family’s worries.
It might also help to involve them in the process – invite them into your ESL classroom, take them out for red curry at Tom Rum Thai, talk to them about the amazing things that happened to your during your last trip to Asia. Enthusiasm can be contagious!
Even with all this work, it’s possible that they’ll never cheer your decision with cymbals and streamers. But at the end of the day, it’s your life and you need to live it in a way that makes you proud and makes you happy.
I have a good friend whose mother cried and cried when he told her he was moving abroad. However! This same mother regularly bragged to anyone who would listen about her brave, adventurous son and his globe-trotting life.
I think there’s often a difference between what our parents want us to do for them and what they want us to do for ourselves.
Your family will surely miss you while you’re abroad, but I bet they will also be incredibly proud of you and your bravery. I know I am!
What other advice would you offer our globe-trotting lass who wants to quit her job and travel?
Did you like part 1 of this super long post? What’s more awesome than traveling? Traveling for $2. Here are a few more ideas for cheapo travel…Travel during the ‘shoulder’ season
Sure, I’d like to be in St. Tropez for Valentine’s day … but so would every other girl and her sister. All those eager travelers equate to packed hotels and high prices. The shoulder season is the month before the ‘real’ tourist season kicks. You’ll still see good weather, but you’ll be privy to open beaches, short lines and even discounted rates on your lodging. Here’s an awesome list of shoulder-seasons for popular destinations the world over.
Sniff out the deals There are travel deals to be had everywhere, it’s just a matter of knowing where to look. Kayak and Mobissimo both search heaps of travel sites for you so you don’t have to shuttle around from one site to the next. I’m also a huge fan of Travelocity’s ‘Last Minute Packages‘ tab. If you’ve got a three-day weekend coming up and your only requirement is ‘somewhere warm’ you can get amazing deals. Right now, I could get a round trip flight from Minneapolis to Atlanta, plus three nights in a hotel for $247!And don’t discount non-air travel. Though America isn’t known for it’s public transportation system, Megabus is making some pretty significant inroads. Routes are limited to the Midwest and east coasts of the US and Canada. But! You can get tickets for $1! $1! Of course, a lot of the tickets are a bit more, but they are always reasonable. I’m actually heading to Chicago next weekend for less than the cost of a new sweater.
Stay with friends or Couch-surf I encountered some dumb luck while planning my world ticket and happened to have friends living in four amazing cities that I wanted to visit. If you have friends abroad at the moment, seize the moment and go sleep on their couch! You’ll get free lodging, your own tour guide and insight into the city. Just be sure to clean up after yourself, cook them dinner and send a thank-you gift … But you already knew that, right?But if you’re headed to someplace obscure or friend-free, give couch surfing a try. Here’s how it works: After you select a country you’re traveling to, you sift through profiles of various intrepid souls who have opened up their homes to travelers. You email hosts that interest you, introducing yourself and sharing the details of your trip. If both parties are keen, you stay with them on your way through their city, make a new friend and return the favor to other travelers when you get home. So lovely, right?
Sweet Jesus, but these are awesome! Countries like New Zealand and Australia have huge tourist industries with heaps of tourists driving all over, very often in one direction. Many travelers land in Auckland, rent a car and then spend a few weeks driving down to Christchurch where they fly home. And lucky you – the car rental companies are happy to rent you that car for $1 if you drive it back up to Auckland for them! The Mister and I spent a three-week holiday on the southern island of New Zealand driving wherever the rental relocations were going . We even drove a $300-a-night camper van for a few days. This website will tell you everything you need to know about the rental relocation process.
Eat like a local One of the best ways of experiencing a new culture is through the food, right? What would Bangkok be without mango sticky rice or Edinburgh without haggis? Lame, that’s what. But eating out all the time gets spendy! If you’re going to eat out, nosh during the lunch hour when prices are a lot more reasonable and take your leftovers back to the hostel for dinner. Or make a picnic out of nibblings from the grocery store or the fruit and veggie market. I’m also a huge fan of eating from street vendor carts. Authentic, adventurous eats for a pitance. But stay away from those grey cubes rolled in black sesame seeds. They’re not tofu. They’re congealed duck blood.
Haggle I nearly turned inside out with embarrassment the first time I haggled a price down in South East Asia. “But it’s already cheap! And it’s so damn awkward!” It doesn’t have to be – just like most things, if you approach haggling with charm and confidence you’ll be fine. Often prices are not posted and the price you are quoted is a) intended as a starting point b) inflated because you’re a foreigner. So smile sweetly, reduce the price by a third and have a go!
How to eat epic amounts of cheese in one sitting
How to dress like Dolly Parton
How to travel the world on $2
Okay. Maybe not $2. Maybe $4. But that’s still traveling on a really small budget, for pete’s sake!
In 2010, I did a six-country, 10-month trip to the tune of $5,000. Quite a deal, right? I know better than most travelers how to travel cheaply and still travel well.
Want to travel on the cheap? Here are my secrets for affordable travel:
Travel to somewhere cheap
We all grow up fantasizing about seeing Big Ben or the Eiffel Tower, but Western Europe’s expensive, yo! And there’s a lot more excitement to be found outside of the EU.
There are heaps of lovely, amazing, culturally significant, safe countries just aching to be included in your itinerary. The Czech Republic, Mongolia, Tunisia all get high marks. You can find other suggestions here and here. Plan your trip to an affordable travel location and you’ll save big!
Stay in cheap travel destinations for awhile
The biggest expense of most trips is the transportation to and from your destination. So get the most out of that $1,600 ticket to Saigon and hang out for a bit! The key to traveling cheap is focusing on being in cheap places, rather than hopping from destination to destination on expensive tickets.
The feeling of really staying in a city, getting to know all its nooks and crannies, having that little cafe you always get coffee at … well, it’s a lot better than changing hostels every night and spending every day standing in lines for various Important Landmarks. You’ll have a much deeper relationship with your host country and save money while you’re at it!
Get cheap or free travel lodging by volunteering
Seriously, if you’re looking to travel for cheap is the way to go. Not only will it significantly cut the cost of your trip, you’ll meet heaps of people and contribute something to your host country. The trick here is to find a volunteer program that is free and will cover your housing.
Many volunteer programs require that you cover your own costs and, thus, are actually really expensive. But free volunteer programs do exist. I had an amazing time volunteering on a tiny island in Greece with The Aegean Wildlife Hospital. In exchange for two hours of water-bowl filling and corn scattering I got my own bedroom in a sweet little Greek farmhouse and the rest of the day was free for sunbathing, ouzo-drinking and cliff diving.
A sure bet for a volunteer/lodging exchange is WWOOF, World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms. WWOOFers volunteer on organic farms in exchange for room and board, often living as a member of their host’s family.
There are WWOOF farms on every continent except Antarctica. You just choose a country and farm that you’re interested in, email them and go! Amazing, right? It’s my best secret for cheap travel!
Cheap travelers are best friends with public transportation
Traveling for cheap often means traveling like a local! Sure, taking the bus through downtown Bangkok can be pretty intimidating. So if you’re in a non-English speaking country and you’re only in cities for a few days at a time, I’ll give you a pass on this.
But if you’re planning on kicking it in Berlin all summer, you have no excuse for avoiding that subway. Even in places where the taxis are cheap (compared to what you’re used to paying) all those rides add up.
The added bonuses of taking public transport are a) meeting locals b) seeing parts of the city you’d miss on that air-conditioned tour c) feeling quite chuffed that you’ve figured it out on your own! One of my favorite memories of our three weeks in Fiji are the 70-cent, open-air buses full of babies and families and clanking hip hop music.
Work while you travel to offset costs
If you have expensive travel destinations in your plans, making them cheaper by working while you’re there can really help to offset the costs. Most hostels/backpackers hire guests to clean the building in exchange for their board.
If you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty, fruit picking jobs are huge in New Zealand and Australia and hospitality jobs are usually easy to come by in most tourist ports. Proper employment calls for a working holiday visa, but it’s often easy to find cash-in-hand casual work, too.
If you’re a Virgo like me and have to plan everything out ahead of time, please allow me to sing the praises of Italy’s ACLE program. You teach English to Italian kiddos for six hours a day, for 250 Euros a week. And! You stay with an Italian family so you get all the gnocchi and gelato you could ever want without spending a cent. Nice, eh?
Get cheap travel during the ‘shoulder’ season
Traveling on the cheap means you’re going to plan trips during non-peak shoulder seasons. Sure, I’d like to be in St. Tropez for Valentine’s Day, but so would every other girl and her sister. All those eager travelers equate to packed hotels and high prices. Cheap travel during shoulder season has great benefits beyond affordable travel costs too!
‘Shoulder season’ is the month before the ‘real’ tourist season kicks. You’ll still see good weather, but you’ll be privy to open beaches, short lines and even discounted rates on your lodging. Here’s an awesome list of shoulder-seasons for popular destinations the world over.
Sniff out the travel deals
There are travel deals to be had everywhere, it’s just a matter of knowing where to look. Kayak and Mobissimo both search heaps of travel sites for you so you don’t have to shuttle around from one site to the next. I’m also a huge fan of Travelocity’s ‘Last Minute Packages‘ tab for cheap travel deals.
If you’ve got a three-day weekend coming up and your only requirement is ‘somewhere warm’ you can get amazing deals. Right now, I could get a round trip flight from Minneapolis to Atlanta, plus three nights in a hotel for $247!
And don’t discount non-air travel when looking for cheap travel destinations. Though America isn’t known for its public transportation system, Megabus is making some pretty significant inroads. Routes are limited to the Midwest and east coasts of the US and Canada. But! You can get tickets for $1! $1! Of course, a lot of the tickets are a bit more, but they are always reasonable.
Stay with friends or Couch-surf
I encountered some dumb luck while planning my world ticket and happened to have friends living in four amazing cities that I wanted to visit. If you have friends abroad at the moment, seize the moment and go sleep on their couch!
You’ll get free lodging, your own tour guide, and insight into the city. Just be sure to clean up after yourself, cook them dinner and send a thank-you gift. But you already knew that, right?
If you’re headed to someplace obscure or friend-free, give couch surfing a try. Here’s how it works: After you select a country you’re traveling to, you sift through profiles of various intrepid souls who have opened up their homes to travelers. You email hosts that interest you, introducing yourself and sharing the details of your trip.
If both parties are keen, you stay with them on your way through their city, make a new friend and return the favor to other travelers when you get home. So lovely, right?
Try rental relocations
These are so, so awesome. Countries like New Zealand and Australia have huge tourist industries with heaps of tourists driving all over, very often in one direction.
Many travelers land in Auckland, rent a car and then spend a few weeks driving down to Christchurch where they fly home. And lucky you – the car rental companies are happy to rent you that car for $1 if you drive it back up to Auckland for them!
A friend and I spent a three-week vacation on the southern island of New Zealand driving wherever the rental relocations were going . We even drove a $300-a-night camper van for a few days. This website will tell you everything you need to know about the rental relocation process.
Eat like a local and get cheap travel eats
One of the best ways of experiencing a new culture is through the food, right? What would Bangkok be without mango sticky rice or Edinburgh without haggis? Not nearly as awesome, that’s what. But eating out all the time gets spendy!
If you’re going to eat out, nosh during the lunch hour when prices are a lot more reasonable and take your leftovers back to the hostel for dinner. Or make a picnic out of nibblings from the grocery store or the fruit and veggie market.
I’m also a huge fan of eating from street vendor carts – authentic, adventurous eats for a pittance. But stay away from those grey cubes rolled in black sesame seeds. They’re not tofu. They’re congealed duck blood.
Haggle for cheaper prices
I nearly turned inside out with embarrassment the first time I haggled a price down in South East Asia. “But it’s already cheap! And it’s so damn awkward!” It doesn’t have to be – just like most things, if you approach haggling with charm and confidence you’ll be fine.
Often prices are not posted and the price you are quoted is a) intended as a starting point b) inflated because you’re a foreigner.
So smile sweetly, reduce the price by a third and have a go! Here’s a good how-to.
Are you an experienced budget traveler? Share your best tips in the comments so we can learn from you!
My friend Tyler Eddy is awesome for many reasons. A list, you say? 1) He seems to have two first names 2) He is earning his PhD in something awesome and ocean-related (I think he’s a dolphin whisperer) 3) He has traveled the world, financed by his summers spent planting trees in Canada. Amazing right?! Tyler was gracious enough to answer a few questions o’mine about how to get into the tree planing game.
How did you hear about tree planting as a way to finance your adventures?
My first year of uni. 18 years old. The girl from the room above me and i became close (she would beckon me with kicks to her floor, my ceiling) and told me about this job tree planting where you could make good money while working outside and sleeping in a tent. she wanted me to spend the summer in her tent with her while doing it. i had other plans about our immediate future so joined another company and have known no other serious income (except for the employment insurance benefits that come with the terminus of a season) ever since.
How did you find a job planting trees in Canada? How did you feel about said your planting job?
Word of mouth. I had some friends that were working for a company and gave them a call. after a quick coffee meeting on campus with one of their representatives i was in. except they wanted a $100 deposit to make sure i was coming. I wasn’t sure what to expect but knew i wanted to get out of my parent’s house for the summer after newly tasted freedom at university. hated it. then loved it. then hated it again. then loved it. then hated it and sat on a stump crying and of course my foreman came to check on my trees at that moment. but by the end of it had made $200 in a day and was hooked. went home for a month in july and came back in august to plant some more.
How did you find housing for your tree planting job? How did you feel about said housing?
I had the mountain equipment co-op catalog (Canadian purveyor of all things outdoors) and ordered the tarn 3 tent and -5 sleeping bag (synthetic fill, much too cold, i froze during those early may nights dipping well below the freezing point). I was happy to be living outside and perched my tent on the edge of a small cliff overlooking the lake. It felt like a sanctuary from the long horrific days of my rookie season.
How much money did you make planting trees in Canada?
The first season I was a bit slow to progress (I was a late bloomer) but by the end of it I got better and made $200 in a day, which is a good goal for a rookie season. By season 9 I averaged $500 US/day. If I don’t make $400/day these days, I’m pissed.
What kind of people did you meet while planting trees in Canada?
all sorts. ski bums. college students. travelers. drop-outs. surf bums. musicians. old crusty lifers who never smile, Africans with smooth french, Quebecois with indiscernible french, girls that are tougher then most men i know.
What was the most challenging thing about your Canadian tree-planting job?
bugs. planting in the rain. bugs. planting in the snow. bugs. planting in the hail. bugs. waking up at 6am when it’s 10 below freezing. bugs. tendinitis. bugs. being told you have to replant. bugs. just planting another tree and not stopping. having every square millimeter of you chewed by bugs as well as the corner of your eyes and trying to hide yourself on your trip to town.
What was the most rewarding thing about planting trees in Canada?
meeting the best friends of my life. sharing the highest and lowest point of my life with them. traveling around every nook and cranny of Canada. planting up a mountain, stopping at the top to turn around, admire the view with eyes squinting in early light and take a deep breath. Hitching from Calgary to Vancouver with my best friend to see the west coast for the first time after reading ‘on the road’ by Kerouac while in a helicopter-access isolation camp in the Yukon where the sun never sets for a month. receiving a paycheck for five figures, excluding cents. getting dropped off in the morning, bagging up trees for the first run, smoking a doobie while looking at the land, choosing the soundtrack on the i pod and knowing that if you work hard and plant all 4000 trees as you plan you will make $600 that day. a warm beer after a hard day of work. having a five-star restaurant cook prepare the most amazing food for you everyday. night-off campfires with guitars and music blasting from trucks and people shotgunning beers and letting loose after working hard. being physically challenged everyday. living outside for three months straight. meeting the girl of my dreams and knowing she can handle pretty much anything that life throws at her.
Would you ever keep planting trees in Canada long term?
I am halfway through my Ph.d and show no signs of stopping. After finishing my degree I hope to plant in order to buy land in Nova Scotia. When it comes time for a family, I would like to be more permanently based.
What suggestions would you have for anyone else who wants to finance adventures by planting trees?
Make sure you know what you’re in for. Buy a good sleeping bag and a good pair of boots (shoddy tents can always be covered with a blue tarp). Find someone good to work for. The best planters will make no money with a poor company as this is piece-rate work.
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