Back by popular demand! More Disney maidens in skinny jeans!
After her near death experience with that nasty apple and the glass coffin, Snow White becomes a lobbyist for organic farming. Convinced that her coma was brought on by a factory farm’s overuse of pesticide’s, S.W. (as she’s known to her friends) spends her days teetering around Washington D.C. in heels, batting her eyelashes at hardened politicians. After a long day of extolling the virtues of the family farm, S.W. rarely has the energy to clean up her tiny studio apartment. It is then that she calls on her animal friends to help clean. Except for the pigeons. Those guys are not to be trusted.
After a few months of life in the castle, Cindy quickly realizes that marrying someone based on three hours of dancing and the size of your feet is pretty stupid. Prince Charming spends most of his time playing Wii and leaving a trail of wet towels and Dorito bags all over the palace. Cindy dumps this messy man and sets out on her own, founding a cleaning business that quickly takes off. Who knew that all those years of compulsively scrubbing the fireplace grate would come in so handy? Within three years, Cindy sells the business to Merry Maids for a million dollars and buys her own damn pumpkin carriage.
Sleeping BeautyWith all that blond hair and the pert little nose, people are constantly underestimating Aurora. But she never tires of the look on their faces when she tells them that she’s one year away from her PhD in neuroscience. After her personal battle with narcolepsy, she’s bound and determined that no other girl goes through what she went through. What with the waking up in a castle all full of dragon and what not. (Thanks to Liz for this idea!)
Actions taken from the hyperlinks on this blog may yield commissions for Yes and Yes. All content copyrighted by Sarah von Bargen. All photos are embedded with links to the original source unless otherwise noted.