Comments on yes and yes: In Which We Attempt To Have It All

Check out inspiredbykath.com. Kathryn is a Life Co...

2009-11-24T21:17:50.544-06:00

Check out inspiredbykath.com. Kathryn is a Life Coach. She helped me realize the path that I want to walk in life. She is well worth the effort.

i don't know if i WANT it all. i don't thi...

2009-11-24T11:32:54.583-06:00

i don't know if i WANT it all. i don't think i could keep up with it and still be happy. i sort of like embracing the days when i don't want to work out (5 out of 7 days) and don't want to cook so i buy a huge chipolte burrito. i can't visit my parents across the country enough to make them happy and still have vacation time left over to go on romantic vacays with the hubby. i'd be spread way too thin to do it all so i just try not to succumb to the pressure. sure i'd like to have a 'dancing with the stars' body, a masters, and a fresh coat of paint on all the walls but its not going to happen any time soon. i'm okay with not having it all as long as i'm happy and, lucky for me, i am very happy!

This David Sedaris article: http://www.newyorker.c...

2009-11-24T10:14:46.358-06:00

This David Sedaris article:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/08/24/090824fa_fact_sedaris
mentions him meeting a woman who retires very early in life. She talks about life being like a stove with the burners representing friends, family, work and self and that none can be all going at full blast. One has to be off. I'd like to think that's not true but finding that balance I think is part of the fun struggle of living.

I think that you can have it all- your ALL. You ca...

2009-11-23T23:21:47.874-06:00

I think that you can have it all- your ALL. You can have it all, but you have to give some things up. I guess I don't really make sense, but I think you can have it "all"

Perfect post for me today. When I run into (okay, ...

2009-11-23T23:15:13.129-06:00

Perfect post for me today. When I run into (okay, when I'm friended on Facebook by) someone I haven't seen since college, the story of my current life & the photos that go along with it paint a picture of having it all - gorgeous, loving husband, crazy great kids, ability to work part time at a job I really enjoy & still be home for said crazy kids, a very good body for a mid-30's mom (if I may say so myself!)... BUT good grief it's boring to have what you wanted!! Lately I'm constantly fantasizing about being a little "bad". Luckily, a great friend's agreed to a mini-GNO tomorrow so I can dish it all to her & she can set me straight.
So, no, you can't have it all. When you get everything you wanted, you simply end up changing your wants.

I think we can have it all in the sense that we ca...

2009-11-23T21:53:14.200-06:00

I think we can have it all in the sense that we can be overall happy with what we have, even though if it's not the ideal situation in every aspect of our life.

It would be nice if we could have it all, but life...

2009-11-23T18:48:37.233-06:00

It would be nice if we could have it all, but life gets so hectic that I don't know if it's possible without stressing about everything.

Sarah, I LOVE this post because it makes such a go...

2009-11-23T16:13:00.253-06:00

Sarah, I LOVE this post because it makes such a good point: you can be an amazing person, and you can have many great things in your life, but there's always one thing that falls by the wayside. Life isn't about having it all; if we all had it all we wouldn't be very unique. We prioritize; we thrive in some areas and struggle in others. Those not-so-awesome things in your life make you grateful for what you do have and what is going well.

Plus, life would be so boring if we had nothing to work towards.

~ Jen

You may not be able to have it all, but loving wha...

2009-11-23T15:39:24.802-06:00

You may not be able to have it all, but loving what you have, now that's the key to happiness!

I often feel like perfect is a really small table....

2009-11-23T15:29:49.734-06:00

I often feel like perfect is a really small table... my relationship with SB stays somewhere around the middle - I try hard not to let anything change that. I can add on eating well and things seem fine. But when I try to fit on searching for a new job it seems to knock off the healthy eating and vice versa. Maybe when I finally find a teaching job, I can buy a larger table ;)

I don't think you can have it all, but then ag...

2009-11-23T15:24:54.207-06:00

I don't think you can have it all, but then again, would you want to? Wouldn't that just be utterly exhausting? I'm happy with myself, even if I don't have everything. I don't have a lot of money, I'm working on my career and my fitness, but I have a fantastic boyfriend and I also dance a mean salsa. I'm in good health and I have good friends and family. Do I really need more? I think it's worthwhile to want to get better, but not absolutely necessary to have it all. If you're driven to constantly work towards getting it all or not driven at all, I think you have a problem.

No, you can't have it all. Something will alwa...

2009-11-23T14:31:21.315-06:00

No, you can't have it all. Something will always have to give or yield. It is one of the greatest myths of our time that you can have it all at little or no price to yourself.

I wish more people would grow happy with themselves. That the continued hunt for everything would cease and land in the fact that you are ok, even if you don't have or are all what society wants you to be.

Ebony, you sweetie! You're going to make me w...

2009-11-23T14:08:18.659-06:00

Ebony, you sweetie! You're going to make me weepy!

I'm working on the social side of me. I haven&...

2009-11-23T13:57:01.835-06:00

I'm working on the social side of me. I haven't had a boyfriend in about five years? But I'm still in high school so my theory is that, well high school sucks hahah :)

Having it all is tough if not impossible, I have b...

2009-11-23T13:25:57.863-06:00

Having it all is tough if not impossible, I have been in an amazing relationship for ten years but I cannot cook and my job is lame (posting anonymous today - lol) and spend my time that I should be working on getting a better job with my guy having fun. Plus we are broke !!

You just made me feel about a thousand times happi...

2009-11-23T13:15:11.818-06:00

You just made me feel about a thousand times happier with my life. I'm constantly upset that I don't have everything 100% perfect, I think I just need to remind myself that no one else does either.

I think it is definitely possible to have a balanc...

2009-11-23T12:46:08.413-06:00

I think it is definitely possible to have a balanced life- a job you love, a fulfilling relationship, heaps of creative outlets, and a healthy body. Of course, everyone falls back on their old standbys (mine being Hot Cheetos, Coke, and days without removing myself from bed), but the key is embracing those things as part of your perfect self and understanding that sometimes, it's right to indulge.

I also think Eat Pray Love does an excellent job of touching on this subject and offering an inspiring and realistic solution.

I totally agree with leland, it really is all abou...

2009-11-23T12:09:29.524-06:00

I totally agree with leland, it really is all about perspective. Whenever I get the feeling that I'm totally happy with how my life is going, I suddenly get anxious that something bad is going to happen, which is no way to live life. I am getting better at reminding myself to remember to live in the moment and be appreciative of all that is going well because most of the times life is about balance and sometimes not everything can be equally weighted.

I unequivocally say: Yes, you can have it all. But...

2009-11-23T11:49:37.525-06:00

I unequivocally say: Yes, you can have it all. But you might have to redefine how you get it and what it is. Can you have everything without getting any support from loved ones while you get it? No. Does having it all mean matching an ideal image that feels authentic to you or to society? Because you've got to pick the one that feels right to you, not to the onlookers. Finally, can you have it all in all arenas at all times? Absurd!

I honestly think that having it all means having an understanding of the in-perfectibility of life, the impermanence of things, and the fact that we can be just peachy regardless.

At the moment I am working on loving myself like I...

2009-11-23T11:09:02.362-06:00

At the moment I am working on loving myself like I love my friends. I constantly put myself down & tell myself I'm not good enough, not fit enough, not the right size etc etc.
Reading your blogs everyday make me feel a little better. You're so human & I love you for it.
You don't pretend to have it all.. or even how to get it. But you seem to thoroughly enjoy life, and by sharing it, you're helping others enjoy it too. Like me.

So thankyou.

MMM...wine. I don't think it's possible--...

2009-11-23T10:10:00.579-06:00

MMM...wine.

I don't think it's possible--nor desirable--to have it all or to have "balance". Here's why:

-"Balance" suggests "fairness" or "equality". For me, it's not desirable to give my career the same vivacity I give my passion for writing, nor my relationship with my boyfriend the same attitude I give the gym (we'd totally break up while I'd pay him $44 a month for nothing).

-Life demands imbalance--going for your dreams with gusto, staying in bed for days with a new lover, putting off set plans with one friend to comfort another.

I say, instead, deal with what you can in the moment. If you are really bothered by the fact that gas station food is a part of your regular diet, then tackle it, but don't think that NOT tackling it means that your life isn't heading in the right direction. (I think we've all witnessed in the last couple of months that Cheeto eating hasn't hindered you one bit, Ms. Von.:))

To All, my life philosophy is this: fix your vices if you think it'll make you feel better, but don't do it because you think it'll make your life better, because something will always, always slide. Forget "balance" and go for "imbalance"...you'll be way happier at the end of the day, I promise.

I love this conversation, you guys! I wish we wer...

2009-11-23T09:08:00.508-06:00

I love this conversation, you guys! I wish we were all splitting a bottle of red wine in my living room right now!

No, it's not possible. Let's get personal ...

2009-11-23T08:58:35.614-06:00

No, it's not possible. Let's get personal here: I have friends who literally say to me, "Your life is perfect" and "what do you have to complain about? You have a boyfriend and a job and excellent marks in school and your pretty". But everyone, EVERYONE has problems and issues in their lives. Some people's problems are on the surface, but some peoples problems are invisible but still deeply affecting. Examples drawn from people i know include self-esteem issues, eating disorders, family problems, terrible memories, the list goes on and on.

It's important to remember that no one has it all. Everyone has secrets. But these supposed 'flaws',like not eating properly and taking longer to finish your degree, are just part of life and are only considered negative when compared to others who appear to have a more desirable lifestyle than oneself.

i don't think it is likely to have it all or t...

2009-11-23T08:52:45.100-06:00

i don't think it is likely to have it all or the perfect life. i think its possible to have a balance and be happy with what we have and make the best of whatever comes our way. what's important is that we strive towards that goal :)

leethroughthelens.blogspot.com

Well, for the first time I've got an amazing j...

2009-11-23T08:50:32.214-06:00

Well, for the first time I've got an amazing job that I love, a good relationship, and solid friendships. However, I've been continuously working on my terrible temper, which has proven to be quite the challenge to overcome. But if I don't get this under control, I risk ruining all of those great things I just mentioned. D'oh!