Periodically, I’d watch Youtube videos about how to walk in heels and I even had my friend Freya write a guest post about it because I had no idea how. My post would have been all “Put heels in purse and ballet flats on feet. Once you are in the bar, put on your heels and stand up, clinging to the bar. Do not move for any reason! Wait till everyone leaves and then put your flats back on.“
Each year, I’d buy a new pair of wedges, hoping that this time, I’d figure it out. This time I could make it work. This time, if I just tried hard enough I could walk in these things. And when I saw these wedges,* I didn’t think things would be any different.
Then I tried them on.
And it was totally different. I didn’t have to try. I wasn’t slipping around or teetering on the top of my toes or skittering like a baby giraffe scared of a peacock. I didn’t have to watch an ever-loving video to learn how to navigate these. I could just be myself and walk the way I usually did and pair these with all the clothes I already had in my closet.
There are many possible reasons that these shoes work for me when others hadn’t. They’re exactly the right height. They have an ankle strap. They have delightful, slightly squishy soles that grip linoleum. But I’d like to believe that, more than that, they just happen to be The Right Shoes For Me.
All of this, of course, leads me to a clumsy, Sex In The City-esque metaphor + epiphany:
So frequently in life, we burn ourselves out trying to make something work.
A romantic relationship “Maybe if I could just be more outdoorsy he’d like me more?“
A friendship “I know she’s always late and she flakes out a lot but we’ve been friends forever.”
Even a career “I kind of hate it and it runs counter to my ethics but I spent so much money on my schooling…”
But really? When you find the right partner or friend or career (or shoe, apparently) it’s damn near drama-free. You don’t have to give yourself a pep talk every morning or dissect every interaction or end your days with Epsom salt baths.
Sure, you’ll have to put in the work but it’ll feel good and natural and like you – whether we’re talking about a very cute wedge or a very wonderful partner.
Tell me – did you struggle to learn to walk in heels? Do you think the best things are easy + natural?