Cadence: Hi! My name is Cadence, I’m 32 years old and I’m originally from a small town in Iowa. I live and work in Minneapolis where my husband, Eli, and I own a photography business. I love sharing meals with friends and family, perusing design on Pinterest, running, and travel.
Luckily I get to share all of that with Eli (except for Pinterest, he doesn’t dig it as much as I do.) I’m currently dreaming of a trip to Scandinavia and scheming of ways that Eli and I can live abroad during the winter months.
Eli: I grew up in St. Paul. We’ll move to that side of the river and start a family sometime coming up here. Right now, we’re in Minneapolis, though, being married we don’t go out so much as we used to.
How tall are you guys?
Cadence: I used to say I’m 5’10” and 3/4. Now I just round up to 5’11”.
Cadence: We met nearly 5 years ago at First Avenue in Minneapolis. At the time, I was going dancing there every Saturday night. One night, I ran into several friends who happened to be there with their friend, Eli.
Between the noise and the constant dancing, we didn’t get an opportunity to talk that night but we were definitely making eye contact. I was really interested in him (his hair! his eyes! his rave-like dancing!) so the next four Saturdays I ditched my weekly dance habit and kept inviting our mutual friends out.
I kept hinting that they should invite “whomever they wanted” hoping they would bring Eli, but they never picked up on the hint. On the fifth Saturday, we bumped into each other at a photography/fashion event supporting our mutual friend. We spent the entire night talking, he asked for my number, and two years later we were married.
Eli:We had both been going there just about every week, but had never seen one another – you know, because I’m short.
The night we met we had a mutual friend that was there and pointed Cadence out to me. I was totally into her, but wasn’t sure that she was interested. By the end of the night, I broke off from the group, not wanting to be TOO into her. Happily, she found me to say goodnight. I was going to be back next week to find her! I was back there for a month, all lone-wolf style looking for her. When I finally did see her again, it was a total surprise at a photo event a month later; I was elated.
My inner dialogue was literally “YES! CADENCE IS HERE!” We spent the whole night together, and within months I was confident that I wanted to marry her. There are pictures from that night somewhere. Cadence was crouching down in all of them; she has since stopped that.
Before you met each other, what were the heights of your previous partners?
Cadence: Everyone was pretty close to my height; I’ve never been with anyone who’s much taller than I and some were definitely uncomfortable if I wore heels.
Eli: First tall lady – It’s not like it’s a fetish or something!
Were you at all put off by the height difference?
Cadence: I was never put off by our height difference. In the beginning, it wasn’t something that I really noticed–I think I was too head over heels for him to give it much thought. Since I was wearing heels the first two times we saw each other and he still asked me out, I was fairly certain it didn’t bother him. However, we never mentioned the height difference so it kind of felt like the elephant in the room until one of us made a joke about it one night.
Eli: I was a bit insecure about it for a while. I felt like it reeked of a Napoleon Complex, heck, maybe it does. Whatever. Now, she’s my wife and a great partner how am I going to complain about what package that comes in?Do people ever comment on it? How do you respond?
Cadence: My friends tease me sometimes, but it’s certainly not in a hurtful way; we’re able to giggle about it. I feel strangers stare at us just a little bit longer, especially when I’m wearing heels.
There was one particular time we were in an elevator in Las Vegas and I heard a woman stage whisper, “She’s SO tall!” I had imbibed in a few cocktails that evening so my response was probably sharper than it needed to be.
Are there any challenges to dating someone who’s four inches taller/shorter than you? What are the benefits?
Cadence: We’ve never really mastered the art of slow dancing and I can’t wear his jeans as “boyfriend jeans” (but he could wear mine, I suppose).
There are times when I feel vulnerable and I want to feel dainty and small…but those moments of insecurity are usually fleeting; Eli makes me feel strong and beautiful. As far as benefits, Eli tends to be much stealthier than I am so it certainly helps when we’re shooting weddings
together. (I’m hoping our kids get his mad gymnast skills.) And, of course, I can reach the top cupboards in the kitchen–which is where I hide all the good stuff.
What do you guys think when you hear people talking about height as a ‘deal breaker’ for who they’ll date?
Cadence: I can’t imagine ruling out an entire segment of population, just because it doesn’t fit into a socially constructed norm.
Eli: I don’t think I’m quite qualified to be giving much dating advice. But, I’d say that too many ‘deal breakers’ and a person is liable to wind up alone or struggling to make their partner into something they aren’t.
What advice would you give to tall ladies/short dudes who are dating?
Cadence: Embrace it–and laugh a lot.