About a year and a half ago, I spent eight days trekking through the Himalayas in Nepal.
(That sounds quite impressive and travel-y and adventurous, right? Like I'm a super-athletic, laid-back, really independent travel girl, right? Well, I am the latter. Probably neither of the former.)
I'm a pretty experienced hiker. I've done multi-day hikes in New Zealand, Fiji, Vietnam, and The Badlands. I spent three days hiking among glaciers with a gassy mule in Bolivia. But this Himalayan hiking? It was different. It was really steep, at a really high altitude, with not-properly-broken-in hiking boots. And despite my best efforts, I kind of hated it. It wasn't fun, I wasn't enjoying myself, and instead of looking around and appreciating the yaks and prayer wheels and snow covered mountains I spent the entire first day looking at my feet so I didn't fall off a cliff.
And about seven hours into the eight day hike I thought: Why am I even doing this? And do I even really like hiking? Is hiking just a hobby left over from all my outdoorsy ex-boyfriends? And what if I couldn't post these amazing photos on Facebook? Or blog about this? Or impress anybody with my "super-athletic, laid-back, really independent travel girl" persona by telling them that I hiked in Nepal for eight days?
If I couldn't tell anybody that I'd done this awesome thing, would I still do it?
Many of us (myself very, very much included) live our lives at least partially online. We instagram and facebook update everything we do and we can find ourselves a bit addicted to the likes and follows that come with a well-curated online life. Even if we don't share every accomplishment with the internet, we still share photos of our trips and humble brag in real life about what we've done.
Which is totally okay! You should be proud of yourself!
But what happens when we start documenting things just for the approval? And doing things solely in the name of awesome? Instead of enjoying the eight-day hike or flight lessons for the adventure that they are?
This is normally where I'd usually wrap up this post with something clever that I'd learned or some pseudo-wisdom I'd read elsewhere. But I'm not really sure that I have an answer. I want to read about my friends' accomplishments and see photos of their trips. And I want to tell you about my travel plans and the new things I try. But I want to make sure I'm doing it (and that we're all doing it) for the right reasons - whatever those may be.
Spoiler alert: two days into the hike - my boots broke in, I acclimated to the altitude, and I decided that, yes, I did actually like hiking and, yes, I still would have done the hike even if I couldn't have told anyone about it.
And then I wrote a blog post about it and posted photos on Facebook.
How do you feel about documenting your life and accomplishments on the internet? Do you ever worry that you're doing it for the wrong reasons?
And about seven hours into the eight day hike I thought: Why am I even doing this? And do I even really like hiking? Is hiking just a hobby left over from all my outdoorsy ex-boyfriends? And what if I couldn't post these amazing photos on Facebook? Or blog about this? Or impress anybody with my "super-athletic, laid-back, really independent travel girl" persona by telling them that I hiked in Nepal for eight days?
If I couldn't tell anybody that I'd done this awesome thing, would I still do it?
Many of us (myself very, very much included) live our lives at least partially online. We instagram and facebook update everything we do and we can find ourselves a bit addicted to the likes and follows that come with a well-curated online life. Even if we don't share every accomplishment with the internet, we still share photos of our trips and humble brag in real life about what we've done.
Which is totally okay! You should be proud of yourself!
But what happens when we start documenting things just for the approval? And doing things solely in the name of awesome? Instead of enjoying the eight-day hike or flight lessons for the adventure that they are?
This is normally where I'd usually wrap up this post with something clever that I'd learned or some pseudo-wisdom I'd read elsewhere. But I'm not really sure that I have an answer. I want to read about my friends' accomplishments and see photos of their trips. And I want to tell you about my travel plans and the new things I try. But I want to make sure I'm doing it (and that we're all doing it) for the right reasons - whatever those may be.
Spoiler alert: two days into the hike - my boots broke in, I acclimated to the altitude, and I decided that, yes, I did actually like hiking and, yes, I still would have done the hike even if I couldn't have told anyone about it.
And then I wrote a blog post about it and posted photos on Facebook.
How do you feel about documenting your life and accomplishments on the internet? Do you ever worry that you're doing it for the wrong reasons?
I try and do things because I want to and if they happen fall into the awesome category the that is well.....awesome lol.
ReplyDeleteMy life is pretty boring and so I try and throw in a few bits to make it look a little more exciting lol.
Well, sometimes I think "Why don't you just walk already 5 month old baby of mine??!?!" just 'cause that'll be an awesome status update. As a matter of fact... my worry is that maybe it'll sound like I am doing things or posting things to make myself sound super awesome, so then, I end up not posting anything.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post! I just started reading your blog recently but I am really enjoying it. A lot of the things you talk about are just a perfect snapshot of today's young generation - and this particular post is no exception.
ReplyDeleteI am a mid-twenty female, and quite frankly, I could have written that exact same blog post with only minor alterations when it comes to the particular countries listed. And just like you I don't have an answer - but only a whole bunch of thoughts.
I went to East Africa this summer and before I left I wrote the following on my blog:
"It makes me wonder if this is the price we pay for being part of an experience driven society, dictated by facebook and twitter. The idea of making the most out of our life is burdened by the strife to constantly seek experiences no one has ever had before and the pressure of defining who we are by what we do."
I think this is what it comes down to - we are in need of attention and while in past generations wealth was enough to be considered important, it is not enough for our generation anymore. Instead it is all about the experiences - you do unique and amazing things, and people will talk about you, which leads to you constantly striving for more because we all like a little bit of attention after all.
I returned from Africa one month ago, and I only uploaded a selection of pictures a couple of days ago. While that might sound like a noble thing - because, hey, I did wait a good month until everyone on facebook could see the pictures - it was not: I was not ready to upload them. But I uploaded them anyways because the girl I went with uploaded her pictures and I feared that if I waited any longer to upload my pictures, people would not be interested in seeing my pictures anymore because they'd seen hers already.
In retrospect I should have just waited and not cared - and I am sure next time I will wait. It is a learning process and you get better everytime.
Fairbanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the fantastic comment - it's good to know I'm not alone. I was actually a bit hesitant to publish this post because, uh, self-absorbed, much? But I think it's always good to examine our actions and motives, right?
I do have to say that I think there is a difference between posting about ourselves on blogs and then posting about ourselves on FB. Blogs are open to people, and those people get to choose if they want to read and follow the blog. Posts about ourselves on FB can get ridiculous, because like you said, getting comments and 'likes' can get addicting. I left FB for a month and a half because of that reason. Not as in so much I was addicted, but because I was sick of seeing other people post about ridiculous things just to see who would comment on them. What happened to having some mystery people?! It was a very nice month and a half, but I had to come back because I have friends that live around the world and that is my best way of contact and keeping up with them. I love your posts Sarah, don't every worry about talking about yourself or your adventures. I CHOOSE to read your blog everyday :)
ReplyDeleteI always think about this when I'm planning holidays and quite often I wonder if I'm visiting a bunch of countries just for bragging rights. Sure, it's easy to book a new country every 3 days and then post details about my oh so hectic schedule to Facebook, but do I really want to?
ReplyDeleteNow I try and pull back a little and book a slower paced holiday and remind myself to put away that phone camera. That means that when I do happen to do or see something amazing that I want to post, it doesn't get caught up in the hundreds of personal but maybe not-so-interesting (to others anyway) pictures or updates.
Hello Sarah!
ReplyDeleteHm. My *current* blog is pretty new, but my old blogs (I had zillions of them!) were kind of superficial, because I tended to blog the things that people *might* like, or things that I think people might like.
But that didn't work for me. I felt unhappy with my entries because they didn't represent me.
So I moved on with the new blog, and I wish to write things that make sense to me, even though people won't like them.
Anyway, love your blog, always! (and no, I'm not butt-kissing you hehe!)
I can so relate to this! I think many people our age and younger can, since we've been online for so much of our lives. I actually just wrote a long, navel-gazing blog post about this general subject, but sadly it's still a draft at this point :P
ReplyDeleteIf we're being honest about it, I think everyone's actions are guided by both how it makes them feel, and how it makes them look to others. There's nothing really wrong with this since we're social animals and no one lives in a bubble, but things become troublesome when motivations tip too far towards public display. This has been a thing for ages and ages (the idea of conspicuous consumption came up in lots of history classes!) but the Internet has just amplified it x1000 since we now feel we have a larger audience. Even better, we have the potential for a huge audience - anyone can potentially become an Internet celebrity (even if few actually do).
Anyway, again, great post!
What a great post! For me, I've noticed the positive impact of the of the same idea. I used to be really shy and pretty anti social. I turned down a lot of invitations from friends and didn't reach out to new people... ever. Since becoming more active on the internet, I've really changed. Maybe it is a form of self absorption, but the outcome (for me) has been very positive. I'm reaching out to people on Twitter and setting up coffee dates. I'm saying "yes" to lunches, dinners, drinks, concerts, and other outings. Something that may have started as "Hey, I want to do cool things like my friends online" has made me realize that I was really missing out. I do occasionally worry that I'm only doing certain things to be able to say I did them, but I don't mind if the experience ultimately makes me better.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing such a thoughtful post!
It's weird because... I feel like for as social media addicted as I am, I tend to be pretty quiet about myself. Even on Facebook, which is about as "private" a social media outlet for me as any. It took about 4 months for the Beau & I to share we were engaged, and by the time we did, when people said "Congrats, man!" we were confused about what we were being congratulated for. Instagraming events, activities and adventures usually becomes a conscious decision, because I otherwise forget to!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure there is a right answer or any brilliant insight we can come to, other than what you wrote here: But I want to make sure I'm doing it (and that we're all doing it) for the right reasons - whatever those may be.
Perhaps that right reason is based in sharing an experience with your friends as opposed to bragging about what you've done.
Dang, such a good point you make here. I've often had similar thoughts-- usually right before I'm about to publish something-- but never quite as fleshed out as this. Do I want to share the cool things I do because it'll make me appear, well, cool? Mmmm yep, I can't deny that's part of it. But then, apply the same thing to real life. If curling my hair, putting on makeup, and wearing a cute dress is the equivalent of uploading a flattering profile picture on Facebook, is that so bad? We all want to come off as the best versions of ourselves in real life AND online. Some of it may be facade-like, but I guess I'm just a little too vain to not come off as less-than-adorable. Kidding. Mostly. :)
ReplyDeleteCassie, this is a good point. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to have control over the image we project to others, and I like what you said about our best versions of ourselves. We want to appear on the outside the way we feel on the inside or we want to appear the way we want to feel on the inside (fake it til you make it). I
DeleteIn recent years, I've been simplifying my life (the theme of my blog) and that includes sometimes taking deliberate time off from facebook. I've found that yes, I'm somewhat addicted to posting things because I know I'll get those "likes." Going through something funny or cool without posting made me a little crazy for a while. Then there's the fact that if I don't get out and do stuff, I won't have anything to share online, so it's kind of motivating. My fans (heh) don't put any pressure on me, but if I care about the image I project and if I care about living up to my own standards, then having an online community can kind of push me to do things that I want to do but would be otherwise too lazy or scared to do. I don't have a good answer to all of this either, just that for my blog, I keep the subject matter somewhat limited, so it wouldn't make sense for me to post everything I do. For facebook, I'm considering weening myself off completely. The addiction to it isn't worth the small joys I get by keeping in touch with long-lost friends and relatives.
ReplyDeleteMm, I think it's a fine line between doing things just to blog about them and making life more fun because your blog's pushing you to make it more exciting. I'm pretty sure I'm on the right side of that line, but it wouldn't take much to push me over it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've found, though, is that I've stopped writing about this stuff on my personal Facebook because I'd much rather sit and tell my friends about it over coffee; I still post utter nonsense on my blog-related Twitter, though, because it makes the connections I've made via my blog feel more personal. Interesting post...
I just read this terrific article about the online/offline dichotomy - very relevant to this conversation: http://thenewinquiry.com/essays/the-irl-fetish/
ReplyDeleteI think about this a lot: am I doing things because I want to, or because I want to post about them on the internet? It's hard and weird to live so much of my life online. Awesome post, Sar. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWhen I am on facebook, I generally ask myself why I want to update my status. If I am just looking for attention, and/or what I am trying to say is mostly fluff...I just don't do it. As a result, I don't end up changing my status much. I'm mostly happy about this- I have friends who update their status multiple times a day, and I feel like it is tedious to go through them all.
ReplyDeleteMy blog is a different thing- people choose to read it or don't, and I enjoy posting. It is still curated, of course, but I certainly wouldn't feel bad about posting treking pictures or talking about the things I am lucky enough to do and have in my life.
I agree with a part of Sarah Rooftops' comment above mine, my blog/facebook pushes me to make my life more exciting in many ways.
This is a really interesting idea, and thank you for giving me something to think about :).
ReplyDeleteI'm the exact opposite! I don't share A LOT of stuff because I don't want to brag. Also because I feel it takes away some of the personal memories.
ReplyDeleteI recently posted about being in the middle of a major depressive period. A lot of people said that I was brave but I felt pretty cowardly about it - part of what lead me to posting was feeling crappy that none of my friends and family seemed to notice what a hard time I was having and I didn't have the energy to confront any of them directly. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm in two minds about the whole Facebook/ Twitter/ blogs/ Pinterest thing. Sometimes it's great and can be really motivating, as in what better way to motivate yourself about a diet or training or generally improving your life than letting other people know that you're making these changes. I also love hearing about the cool things other people are doing with their lives like climbing mountains or blogging or going on crazy adventures. The photography part of my blog does push to take more photos and generally improve my photography skills.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do think there is a major part of bragging and hyping up oneself on social networking sites as well. The one that really bothers me is people posting up whatever dinner or dessert they cooked that day, I'm sure it tastes lovely but really every adult out there should be able to cook decent food.
There have been numerous studies done on how when we're online and read about the "amazing" lives are friends are living it actually makes us depressed because we wind up comparing our lives to the lives being portrayed online without realizing how one-sided those portrayals are. If we're only talking about the awesome stuff, people will start falsely believing that everything is awesome. Posts like this, that show the other side of life, balance this out and make readers realize that your life is dynamic, with ups and downs, just like ours. Thanks for the friendly reminder :-).
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ReplyDeleteI don't think I show off in my blog or Facebook updates, but I see more of this phenomenon in my Instagram feed. I intentionally try to capture only the most beautiful moments. However, I think I do this for my own benefit more than for others'. Life with a newborn has a lot of really dreamy moments, but a lot of boring and difficult moments, and I'd rather focus on the good than dwell in the negative.
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting because I am considering a trip of one- two weeks in Nepal in May next year, not long enough I know butsadly all the time I have. Anyway I am not really a mountain trekker and have been wondering what people would think if I went to Nepal and DIDN'T trek... Silly, Nepal has way more going for it than just trekking...
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog via someone else's and can't resist commenting - I just ended a month-long Facebook fast as an experiment to see whether I could "get over" the compulsion to post every worthy moment of my life on-line. It gave me a real sense of perspective and, in fact, has positively affected how I plan to continue using the site: http://www.livewellandbreathe.blogspot.ca/2012/09/mission-accomplished.html
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, by the way - looking forward to reading more! :)
Sometimes, for me anyway, having a blog makes me keep my life interesting so I have something worthy of sharing on my blog each week. I think bloggigninpsires me to do interesting things. But I would still never do things 'just so I can blog' everything I do is still something I'd want to do anyway, regardless of my blog. Knowing that I have followers makes me go out an do these things!
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