So. Last month a reader suggested an idea. You guys send me questions and I attempt to answer each question in 25 words or less. The result is half haiku, half inadvertently vague, but I sure had a good time trying to do this.
So here are my best attempts at answer your questions in 25 words or less!
What's your least favorite country you've ever been to?
Bolivia! High altitude, bad food, dangerous drivers, lumpy beds, cold showers, bad weather. But I loved Carnivale, the salt flats, and our mule hiking adventure!
How'd you meet your boyfriend?
OkCupid! I wrote "You are adorable in a tall and manly way." He invited me to stand up comedy. We’ve been together ever since.
Tell us your best 'Clients From Hell' story!
Do Hollywood personal trainers and wedding photographers who don't pay their invoices count? (Resisting the delicious urge to link to their sites.)
Funniest travel experience, please.
Puking on a piece of poop on an Indian train, when I thought my kiwi dance teacher was saying c*nt + a million more.
What's currently on your wishlist?
For travel? Mongolia, St. Petersburg, Russia for Easter or Christmas, Mexico for Día de los Muertos, winter in Savanna or Charleston! Also: Dollywood.
What's the best gift you've ever received?
Right before she died, my Grandma Von Bargen gave each of the grandkids a photo album of our entire childhoods she'd put together.
How do you stay so darn positive and awesome all the time?
Oh you! When I feel non-awesome/negative I make a list, get outside, take a nap, or talk to my BFF/BF/cat. Also: dance.
Have you thought of writing a 'how to blog' kind of ebook? I would be interested in buying it!!! (finding content, avoiding copyright, using images, making things awesome, how to add your own style.... all the things you EXCEL at!)
Gosh, thanks! But you can find all that stuff for free here! Or here! Or here!
I'm curious about your family's adoption experience and what it was like to have a sibling that was adopted. and I'd love to hear from your sister about her experience. (If you don't know, my sister is adopted from Korea. This one was really hard to answer in 25 words!)
I was 6, she was 6 months. We liked the same stuff growing up (theater, music, speech.) Now we're different - but still awesome!
I'm curious about how you got your traveling bug - childhood experiences?
My parents both traveled a lot before kids + we spent every summer road tripping. Travel was just a normal, integrated part of life!
What's your best little known productivity tip?
List making + Pomodoro technique + Leechblock = totally unstoppable. You will not believe how much you can accomplish.
What's your favourite kind of lipstick?
Revlon Lip Butter in Candy Apple
. Or in any color really. You'll never buy anything else!
You mentioned you were a dancer in high school, what was that experience like and what style of dance was it?
I was in danceline - jazz/funk-esque? I was not a 'typical' dancer but I loved every minute of it. I danced at the Citrusbowl!
How do you plan/organize your life, as in what sort of planning materials do you use?
A beautiful journal + fine tip Sharpie. Seriously. That's it. But it has to be a gorgeous journal! Otherwise I don't take it seriously.
What's your style trademark?
Fashion-wise? Probably scarves. My uniform is dresses + riding boots or skinny jeans + flats + t-shirt + scarf + big bracelet.
Why does your cat have such an awesome name?
Because I'm a dork for Russian history! His full name is Rasputin, but that's hard to yell so I call him Putin.
Are you ever scared when taking these awesome opportune moments, and if so, how do you deal with it?
Yes! I realize that even if I screw up this one thing, I still have tons of other great stuff in my life.
What were you like in high school?
The same! Smart, dressed ridiculously, did All The Activities, mostly friends with Arty Weirdos + some of the Popular Kids. HAD A PERM. (!!!)
What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
I inadvertently ate congealed duck blood cubes in Taiwan. I'm a vegetarian!
What advice would you give to your 5 year old self?
Stop trying to dig holes to hell with John and trying to trick Mandy into falling in. It's mean and weird.
15 year old self?
Don't worry. You'll fill out. Also: STOP PERMING YOUR HAIR.
25 year old self?
Just because he's a great guy, doesn't mean that he's the right guy for you.
What is the most important thing all beginner bloggers should know?
Post consistently! Your readers want to know they can depend on you. Use that 'schedule' post button!
What's your skin care/makeup routine? Your face always looks so fresh!
Thanks so much! Fall = Olive oil + Boots No7
+ Oil of Olay SPF 15. Makeup = Elf concealer/highlighter
+ Benetint
+ Revlon Lip Butter.What's your least favorite part of blogging?Deleting spammy comments + fussing with formatting. But those are maybe 10% of the job!
How do you connect with people for your True Story posts?
I post about interviews on my Facebook or Twitter profiles, write a post, or people email me because they want to share their story.
Who watches your cat when you travel for long periods of time?
Really long time? Friends fostered him. 6 weeks? My subletters. Don't worry - I and only sublet to former cat owners!
Do you miss teaching?
Very, very much! I've actually been thinking about teaching a writing or internet-ery course at a local community college or university!
How do you get over being shy?
Fake it! Or give yourself a goal: "I have to talk to three people and then I can leave. I have to stay for an hour."
Now! It's my turn! In 25 words or less, tell me:
1. Your dream job
2. The last time you laughed till you cried/peed your pants/didn't make noise
3. Your pet/BFF
My dream job... journalist/ writer/ superhero
ReplyDeleteThe last time I laughed until I shook uncontrollably... yesterday when tickling my boyfriend who sounds like Tickle Me Elmo.
My BFF is a guy I met in university when I was 17 and it's weird if we go more than 2 or 3 days without talking.
My dream job?
ReplyDeleteAdvertising copywriter or marketing director for Thoroughbred racehorses.
The last time I laughed uncontrollably?
Phone call with my boyfriend. He told me what he would name a turtle. I fell out of bed laughing because it made no sense.
My pet/BFF?
My 19 year old cat! He found me when he was 1 and I was 5. It's been a whirlwind, storybook romance ever since!
My dream job - full time, paid actor (I'm pretty happy currently as an actor with a day job though)
ReplyDeleteThe last time I laughed until I didn't make a noise - Got punchy towards the end of a road trip with my BF. Something silly happened (don't even remember what) and I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. Snorts ensued.
My pet is my cat Jack and my dog Zooey. Zooey wants to be BFFs with Jack, he wants nothing to do with it. My BF Greg holds us all together :)
Dream Job: Used to be: Singing/acting on Broadway/at the Met. Currently: Environmental Engineer who travels working with water resource management (Providing drinking water to underpriveledged communities)
ReplyDeleteLast time I laughed uncontrollably: Last Friday: Wasn't feeling well so my Aunt and Cousin came to cheer me up. We played Rummy and then I laughed so hard I got the hiccups
My pet/BFF?
Pet: 11 yr old cat- the laziest and sweetest animal ever, and he gets jealous of any infant who comes in my house(my nephew)
BFF: Our parents are besties & we grew up together begging to stay every weekend at each others' houses. Long story short: literal BFFs.
Jenni
My dream job?
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm doing right now. Coaching creative entrepreneurs and leading international adventure retreats!
Last time I laughed uncontrollably?
When I was telling a friend/client on my last retreat the story of how I was hit with explosive diarrhea on a 14k run along Toronto's waterfront with NO WHERE to hide .
My pet/BFF?
Wicket my Portuguese Water Dog. He's my best friend/soul animal. I've been his work-from-home mom his whole life (6 yrs) and it's the best.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about you in 25 words or less.
1. My dream job would be as a full-time lifestyle writer working for myself and making more than enough money to support my lifestyle
2. The last time I laughed until I cried was probably at a wisecrack a friend of mine made.
3. I don’t have a pet although I love fluffy dogs like Lhasas. I have two best friends! Sadly, they don’t live near me.
Your dream job - the one I have! I'm a tarot reader - and I just accepted a position on a video psychic network! And i'll be on tv!!!
ReplyDelete2. The last time you laughed till you cried/peed your pants/didn't make noise - probably on the back porch with my betrothed. His dancing and goober duck faces are to pee for!
3. Your pet/BFF - Ruby the French Bulldog. She's basically my sidekick & sort of like an imaginary friend. She has lots of opinions. And my BFF is my feeyonsay!
1. Dream Job: The host of that Lonely Planet show - I can travel the world and still be a part of teaching kids!
ReplyDelete2: Last time I laughed until I cried: Jim Gaffigan's Mister Universe last week - He says things like, "These aren't skinny jeans, I am just fat."
3. My Pet: Hans-Jurgen - He has a huge head, an even bigger ego, thinks he's a person. He sits just like a human does in the car!
Dream Job: I always wanted to be a dance instructor, ideally modern dance, OR I suppose I would settle for being Jadzia Dax (from Star Trek: Deep Space 9).
ReplyDeleteLast time I laughed until I cried: hanging out with a friend watching an incredibly, amazingly, terribly bad movie called Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. We share a love of bad action movies.
Pet/BFF: Fiancee and I are hoping to get a cat soon, but my BFF is a fabulous gal I met in our dance troupe at university.
1. Writing! Doing exactly what you do everyday!
ReplyDelete2. Last night with my roommate reading myfriendsaremarried.tumblr. com. I am a hopelessly single 27-year-old and that shit made me do the gaspy air breathing thing
3. I don't have a pet, but my roommate has a tabby cat that I'm slowly warming up to.
My Dream job : An illustrator (like Quentin Blake), A music critic or a photographer
ReplyDeleteLast Time I laughed till I cried when my friend shared really bad Iphone auto correct mistakes.. "Auto cucumber"
Pet/bff : My American Cocker Spaniel, Ralph, he's so cuddly, loving and a little to over-attached ( but we don't mind) ... he has the funniest facial expressions.. Most of the time I kind of understand what he's trying to tell me hmmm.. I have a group of friends I can't live without.. love them to bits!!
1. I *think* my dream job is to be an editor. But I am, at the moment, very confused about life, and have several other interests, particularly writing. Basically, I don't know! :(
ReplyDelete2. It's sad that I have to think this hard about this... but, I think it was when my sister and I were just goofing around one day.
3. They are one and the same! My family's dog is named Casey, she is a rottweiler/German shepherd/Australian cattle dog mix, and she's my BFF. My human BFF would be my sister. We have fun times.
I look forward to reading more of these posts, I really enjoyed it!!
Dream job? Doing it. Bartender. Might enjoy giving it a go internationally.
ReplyDeleteLaughed until tears? Coworker was having a bad night. I locked him outside until he laughed at my (super awesome) dancing. I laughed first.
Pet/love? Ginny. She is a rescue who was abused and afraid of the world. She wags her tail in her sleep. She fixed my little heart.
You folks are fascinating :)
My dream job?
ReplyDeleteClinical/community psychologist
The last time I laughed uncontrollably?
Yesterday, my friends surprised me with "Welcome Back" cupcakes with penises on them, at Starbucks.
My pet/BFF?
My beloved pet passed a few months ago, he was a 15 year old dalmatian named Beethoven, miss him terribly. But my BFF's are 4 of my college classmates, we laugh, we cry, we tell each other everything and anything, they're my sisters from another mother.
Dream job: Translating Chinese for the UN.
ReplyDeleteCried laughing: Watching "Funny Cats in Water" on youtube.
Pet/BFF: Boyfriend has a cuddly kitty named Lumi. BFF is Cat, she's moving to San Francisco and I love her so much I'm tempted to follow.
Dream job: Family Photographer (working at it, slowly growing my business).
ReplyDeleteLaugh: I laugh all the time. My fiance is awesome at making me laugh.
Pet: My kitty is named Bonnie and I was only supposed to be fostering her but there is no way I'm giving her up at this point. Bear is my fiance's 12 year old Belgium Shepherd. He is a teddy bear. And our new dog, Marley, we adopted last Wednesday. She is a sweetheart.
BFF: Other than my fiance, my BFF is the boy I met in Grade 7. We are celebrating our 20 year friendaversary this month.
First - if you decide to go to Charleston, EMAIL ME (Krystle.Singleton@gmail.com). I have so many connections and advice (and a brother whose a chef!), that I would love talk with you before you go!
ReplyDelete1. My dream job would be to be a Children's Lit. Professor at Oxford, Cambridge, College of CHarleston or King's College. British Lit would be a bonus!
2.Last time I laughed uncontrollably was driving home from a night out. I had a very intoxicated friend who kept changing the punchline of jokes.
3. My pet is a chocolate lab named Buster. He is 106 pounds, believes he's a lap dog and cuddles like no other. He is the biggest sweet heart of a dog and I love him.
Dream job - screenwriter/actor in the films I write!
ReplyDeleteLaughed uncontrollably while in line for a film festival screening recently, was with my sister, and someone near us let out an incredibly smelly fart that lingered in the room and because we were stuck in line we couldn't escape it so hilarity ensued from trying to avoid the fumes.
My bff is a hilarious comedian, my pet is an adorable pomeranian named after a Bob Dylan (cover) song.
1. Your dream job- restoration ecologist!
ReplyDelete2. The last time you laughed till you cried/peed your pants/didn't make noise- hanging out with some old friends in the mountains this last weekend.
3. Your pet/BFF- My pet BFFs are Guillermo and Ciela, the amazing kittehs. My human BFF is my husband!
It was cool to see you answer my question on that post! Nicely done :)
ReplyDelete1.) I have always, always wanted to be a writer and photographer for National Geographic.
2.) I recently saw something (completely inappropriate) on reddit and laughed so hard that I cried, made no noise, and flapped my wrists like a seal
3.) Never had childhood pets, but I really want a hedgehog! Illegal in PA though >:/ BFF is in Sicily right now, begging me to join her!
My dream job is to be a jockey...and I was for a short time until a big accident took me out :-(
ReplyDeleteBut now I'm doing my other dream job which is working at a biochemist <3
Just recently a friend bought me a laser pointer for my cat to chase. The first time I tried it with her I laughed so much that I cried and had to sit down cos my stomach was hurting.
I have two pets....my cat Nera and my ancient horse Popeye.
My BFF is Megan, who lives on the other island (I'm South, she's North) and I am flying up to hang out with for FIVE WHOLE DAYS. I am excite!
Excellent job. You should answer the inside the actor's studio questions next.
ReplyDeleteDream Job: Indiana Jones' assistant
Last Good Laugh: My BF was imitating me when I dance and sing in the car yesterday. He was spot on.
Pets: Ringo Starr, George Harrison and Dino. Ringo is a maltipoo and the other two are terrier mixes. I really regret not naming Dino John Paul. I could have had the whole set.
What kind of setting do you put Leechblock on? I just installed it but I don't know where to start with it. I like what you wrote on OKCupid, haha!
ReplyDeleteDream job: Musician
Laughed: Watching Parks and Recreation bloopers!
Pet: A tortie cat named Bastet! (Ancient Egyptian mythology - how's that for a nerdy pet name? ;)
Dream Job? Well, I currently love what I do! Working in a creative studio as a Furniture and Graphic designer!
ReplyDeleteLast time I laughed so hard ...last week in Chicago (I'm from Ireland) when I visited my BFF (see below)...We were in our bathrobes making dance movies to some awful songs!
BFF: My friend Laura. I met her when I moved to Chicago from Ireland at the age of 8. I left 2 years later but we're still best friends..and visit each other all the time!
1. Your dream job:
ReplyDeletePrimary School Teacher! I've applied to go back to Uni next year, so fingers crossed I get in!
2. The last time you laughed till you cried/peed your pants/didn't make noise:
My friends and I went on a picnic on the weekend and a tiny dog came over to where we were sitting. He jumped around demanding attention for a few minutes, before proceeding to cock a leg and pee all over one of my friends. HILARE!
3. Your pet/BFF:
My puppy (well, he's 15 years old but he's small so I still call him my puppy) Nick! He lives with my parents though, so I don't see him as much as I would like. Fun fact: Nick is also the name of my current boyfriend. :)
Also, just wanted to say it's awesome you met your bf online! I met mine online too, and despite it becoming extremely mainstream these days, people still get that "online dating is for losers" kind of look on their faces when it is brought up.
The last time I laughed so hard was when my sister told me how the sole of the (old) shoes she borrowed from me fell off piece by piece, leaving trails in the middle of a serious work seminar out of the city.
ReplyDeleteMy dream job is fashion buyer / brand manager and my BFF and I have this tradition of watching the Twilight movies every time it comes out together and we are like 200 years old!
X,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
p/s Sarah, please bring back the Character Sketches.
1. I want to be an artist in a serious way! Like... no more washing dishes for minimum wage kind of way! Like, solo exhibitions, studio with foot traffic, living comfortably kind of way!
ReplyDelete2. Last time I laugh-cried was at work a couple days ago when I randomly remembered the time my roomie sold her couch on craigslist; she posted three photos of the couch, but she clicked the wrong file on the fourth photo slot. Instead of a couch, it was a photo of a dragon-tattooed penis! HAHAHA omg it was up for a whole day before we noticed.
3. Pets? I have two cats who are polar opposites. One is chronically ill and costs us a ton of money now, but MY GOD he can give a good hug.
1. Sex educator in my spare time, consultant for the Canadian gov't or diplomat as an awesome day job with insane travel benefits.
ReplyDelete2. Something my boyfriend said, unfortunately extremely region specific so explanation would take more than 25 words and would not be that funny after all.
3. 95 lbs of furry Landseer Newfoundlander, named Kodiak. Mush monster. BF started out as BFF + has been upgraded to both titles for about 2.5 years.
1. Dream job: Doing it! Helping people start their own business
ReplyDelete2. laughed so hard talking to my brother on Skype. He is hysterical and musical which is an awesome combo.
3. Grover and Max, my kitties...staying with another family since we moved to Amsterdam. Miss them a lot.
Work for myself, though I'm not exactly sure doing what.
ReplyDeleteIt was probably with my now ex husband so I'm choosing not to remember since I now hate him.
Gwen my 4 year mut who I named after Gwen Stefini because I thought she looked like her when the dog was a baby. I'm the only one who saw the resembalance.
Dream Job: Librarian/Researcher/Writer/Mom
ReplyDeleteI pretty much laugh until I cry or stop making noise daily. I also snort when I laugh.
Pet at home: Lucy the Labradoodle. BFF is my roomie Jessica. she's the bestest besty. (she has begun to snort when she laughs too)
I still dream of being a foreign correspondent -- I'll hopefully graduate with a B.A. in International Affairs and Minors in Journalism and Law & Public Policy within the year, but I'm worried since well-meaning friends and family constantly warn me that Journalism "is going down the tubes." (Same exact wording every time!)
ReplyDeleteThe last time I laughed until I cried was in mid-June, while watching the Twilight movie "Eclipse" with my best friend in his basement (his commentary is consistently pitch perfect).
My pet /and/ BFF is my (mother's) border collie, Pepper. Super affectionate, super bright, super dramatic, super inventive/creative.
Last time I cried with laughter - making the mistake of trying to recount a Woody Allen line to my new boss - "The last time I was inside a woman I was visiting the Statue of Liberty." As if that wasn't a bad enough decision, it came out as "The last time I was inside a woman I was visiting the Empire State Building." Boss' response: "Oh."
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe that someone else tried to dig holes to hell as a child. That made me smile a lot :)
ReplyDelete1. Teaching elementary school sans governmental regulations.
2. After noticing that the tie my friend was wearing was completely worn out and frayed around the knot, I asked him if he didn't have another one that he could wear. "Afraid not," he replied. Think about it, think about it... I couldn't stop laughing.
3. I haven't had one of my own for such a long time, but after visiting my friend's new puppy I became resolute on the subject. I am getting one ASAP!
1. Creating environments for people to thrive doing what they love
ReplyDelete2. This happens weekly - I am an improvisor. I love love love love love to laugh
3. Rusty, a 7 to 9 year old stubborn, stubborn, adorable, won't-admit-he's-a-softie, tough as nails Cattle Dog
My favorite productivity tip: go to a coffee shop - don't bring your computer charger and don't ask for the wifi password. Depending on long your battery lasts, it gives you time to get a decent amount of work done, and it's great motivation to get work done to justify leaving your apartment and buying coffee!
ReplyDelete1. Illustrator.
ReplyDelete2. I was at my newly-wed friends' place while they were on their honeymoon (helping them with some post-wedding chores), and I started posting on their facebook walls about all the hilarious things I was doing in their absence (filling the oven with greek yogurt, rubbing my butt on various objects, etc.). That's right, I was laughing at my own hilarious antics. Alone. In a big empty house.
3. Lemon, my three-year old wiener dog.
(I should probably add a disclaimer: I was not actually doing any of what I reported!)
ReplyDelete