The Every Buddy Boards Need YOU!

Friends!  Do you remember that there is a Yes and Yes message board, all full of awesome, just waiting for you to take part?  Yes.

Now, I know that the reason many of us love the internet is that it allows us a bit of voyeurism/lurking/reading and not commenting.  (There are many blogs that I read and never, ever comment on.)  However!  A message board was made for commenting!  And if nobody's commenting, there's nothing for us voyeuristic souls to lurk on!

With that in mind, I cordially invite you to join the message boards, start threads on topics that interest you and contribute to awesome threads that are already under way.

Here are some of my favorites!

Bucket lists
Sweet tunes
Recommended reading
Expensive things that are worth every cent
Do you have a retirement plan?
Packing tips
Road trips
Adjusting to married life
How did you meet your partner?
Learning to drive
Ladyhood fail
Do you ever go out in public without makeup?
Worst boss ever stories
Tips and tricks for working from home
When your friends have questionable ethics
What do you do in times of moral quandary?
Tips for moving house
Vegetarian/vegan meals for meat lovers

Go have a dig through all those threads and contribute.  We'd love to hear what you have to say!

True Story: I'm Dyslexic

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things.  This is the story of Joanne and her dyslexia diagnosis.

Tell us a bit about yourself!
I'm 29 and born in London. I’ve had too many types of jobs to get into but after a very long time of not having the confidence to do so, I’m finally hoping to combine my fun stuff with my work stuff. I’m in the processing of retraining to be a fashion designer. This has always been my love – but some times it takes a while to really come to terms with that. Too put it out there is a scary and thrilling thing, your letting a part of you go out into the world. And it will have to be a reality and not something just buzzing around in your head anymore.

For those of us who don't know, could you tell us about dyslexia?
It’s hard to categorize dyslexia, as it varies from person to person. There is a still lot of discussion about the definitions in the intellectual world. Dyslexia is a generally termed as a learning disability that normally affects your ability to write, read, your memory and language skills. I guess I only really know about my own experiences of it. Many people are unlikely to share that they're dyslexic, especially in work environments. Maybe I still haven’t leant to fully embrace it and am well practiced not to bring it up. 

It terms of my own symptoms I struggle a lot with reading, I have to push myself to read and get very easily distracted. I rarely read books. Often words seem to merge or just move on a page. It can be hard work. I have very poor short-term memory; I can’t repeat very simple letters and words recited to me. I can’t decode. My grammar and spelling are extremely poor, I can spend a very long time drafting and checking. I miss out words and chunks of sentences without knowing; even when I have read it 10 times I can’t see the words are missing. Often very simple multiplication is very challenging. I have a bit of an issue with balance, which I was told could have a connection to dyslexia.

Anyone can have it; it’s not specific to a group or social class.

How old were you when you were diagnosed?
I was tested when I was 10 in 1991. It was quite rare that it was picked up at such a young age and even being tested was unusual back then. In the early 90s knowledge and understanding were still limited – not only by the general public but also by the education establishment at large. I owe a lot to my very progressive teacher at the time who suggested the tests. She had noticed all my writing made no sense and was frequently just a jumble of words.

I was tested at a special education establishment by the local authority. I still remember the building and what the room looked like. I was confirmed dyslexic after a written report was made. I don’t really remember being told that I was dyslexic,  but a general feelin of annoyance is an overriding memory. I do remember that the report put my age in the core skills as that of 5 year old. That annoyed me.

What kind of assistance did your school and teachers give you?
I didn’t get assistance at school - simple as that. But my mum decided to take me to a personal tutor instead. Great decision - I was lucky she could afford it. He was called Stephen and was dyslexic too - and a teacher.  Meeting him reassured me that you could do normal jobs even if you were dyslexic, which was an important realization to have at that impressionable age. I went to see him for four years and he made a huge difference in my education. He re-taught me the basics and how to use my brain in a different way. I really do wonder where I might be if I hadn’t had that experience. I’m not sure I would have got into university.

I was re-tested when I was 20 at university and 'statemented' -  which means my disability is registered and recognized by the government. This allowed me to extra time in my exams and was a huge help. A few people made comments like "Why should you get that extra help and not me?" I’m used this kind of sentiment now, people find it hard to accept you can be articulate intelligent person and still be dyslexic.

Is it possible be 'cured' of dyslexia?
I don’t think so, though I'd be interested in others thoughts on this idea. For so long now, I’ve learned to work in a different way than most people. I’ve created my own unique coping techniques to deal with the very day to issues I have. They are my ‘normal’ and of course they don’t seem strange to me. Thinking about it, I’m not too keen about using the word cured in relation to dyslexia. I don’t think I need to be cured,  after all I wouldn’t have been afforded all the great things that being dyslexia has given me. 

How does dyslexia affect your daily life?
In a work context, I’m very conscious of my written communications to other colleagues. So I’m spending a lot of my daily work time checking. I do have to ask people to often repeat things over the phone especially when they are spelling names or numbers. This can be a little embarrassing and I can get self-conscious about it, especially when callers are irritated by it. I sometimes have problems remembering how to spell my surname, which is also embarrassing when you’re in a bank. Likewise working out the amount in coins to pay in a shop can take some time. I have learned to create silly banter about my rubbishness at doing things; it helps to conceal the real issues I have when interacting with the public. I think lots of dyslexics do this. Consequently lots of us are very social outgoing kind of people as it can be an effective defense.

Are there any benefits to having dyslexia?
Lots of great things can come from being dyslexic.

I often think my creative ability comes from being dyslexic. I don’t just mean this just from an ability to be arty but to see problems and issues in a different more creative way. This can be useful in everyday life and also be a real skill in big business – especially as they look for people who can strategize and problem solve. Many very successful entrepreneurs are dyslexics!

It can make you more empathic towards people who also struggle in areas of their life. And also amazingly resiliant – it has always pushed me on to succeed when others doubt me.

What are the biggest misconceptions about dyslexia and the people who have it?
That you are stupid if you are dyslexic – I don’t think I need to say it any plainer terms. Most dyslexics at some time or another have had this prejudice leveled at them. If you’re not strong, it can affect you deeply and I'm always saddened when I hear of people who never end up going for their dreams because of the ‘stupid’ tag leveled at them.

If we have a friend or family member with dyslexia, how can we help?
Give them lots of support and patience. Help them to find groups that will give them advice and support on whatever level they need it. Here in the UK there are channels to obtain support and help from the government so look into this. Don’t treat them differently, but also don’t assume that you know what it’s like to be dyslexic because you always can’t spell that one word (I’ve heard that one a few times). 

What advice would you give to someone who's been recently diagnosed with dyslexia?
Don’t panic, you’re in a big club!

If you feel you need it, you might benefit from some extra help with education, lots of local colleges will run these kinds of courses. If you feel you can, talk to someone at work in confidence about support they might offer.

I would suggest talking to people whom you really can trust. Some people react in a strange way to it. But ultimately embrace it and use it, it’s likely it will give you advantage because some unique abilities!

Web Time Wasters

How was your week, friends?  I spent the first half driving across the prairie with my family and the second half working on the 2012 Year in Yes calendar. (Those are the first draft proofs in the above photo!)  I also saw Brown Bird perform and my goodness if they're not fantastic!  Jangly, joyful Gypsy Americana music - if there is such a thing.

Enough about me!  Tell me about the internet!

25 ways to be a better person today

Wanna know how to get off-peak prices during peak season?  I do!

Don't you want to know about soft drinks of the world? (My personal vote is L&P = yes.  Inca Kola = no)

Did you know you can make stenciled t-shirts with freezer paper?  I did not.

Calling all Virgos!  A Collection A Day: An Obsessive Homage To Order is a beautifully styled read.

Photograph portraits of baby animals.  'Nuff said.

I love these candid photos of a family that thinks they're waiting for the camera's self-timer.

How stylish is 'prim n' proper' punk?

Let's be smarter!  Six Famous Thought Experiments, Animated in 60 Seconds Each!

I've made this tomato quiche (it's really different from any other quiche you've ever had) and can personally vouch for its deliciousness.

Have you herd of Beauty Redefined? It's a non-profit that aims to "take back beauty for girls and women everywhere through continuing the discussion about body image, women’s potential and media influence"

I love the Simple Living Manifesto: 72 Ideas To Simplify Your Life

It means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.

On the Every Buddy Boards, we're talking about international volunteer/internship opportunities, favorite childhood Halloween costumes, credit card debt.

Current obsessions: Mason Jennings' Raindrops On The Kitchen Floor (sparkly and lovely), Tom Waits' Chicago (weird and spooky and perfect for Halloween), oiling the floors of my apartment with mineral oil, wearing riding boots with everything I own, steel cut oatmeal with pecans, staying up till 2:00 am reading The Red Tent: A Novel.

What are your current obsessions/favorite links this week?  Share them in the comments!

Because We Say Awesome Stuff

You guys are so funny and clever.  So funny!  So clever!  Let's read through some of the awesome stuff you've been saying in the comments lately.  And really?  These are all comments from the Ridiculous Childhood Fears post, wherein I admitted that I was afraid of a tiny, imaginary fox that lived between my bed and the wall (?!)

My first fear was "the tricycle monster" which was my friend's Batman Big Wheel. It would appear in the night in the wall my bed was against and beckon me into a swirling vortex. I think this has something to do with my seeing Poltergeist way to early in my life.

The second one I remember was watching Tremors 2 and being terrified to let my dog out at night because the Graboids might come out of the ground in the dark, and Shriekers could be anywhere downstairs ready to get you because THEY HAVE A HEAT SENSOR AND CAN SEE YOU IN THE DARK!!!
Mrs. Grievous

[I was afraid of] The Viacom V logo. For reals. It would come flying at me after The Andy Griffith Show and I'd run out of the room. I also used to be afraid of looking at a digital clock right on the hour. I hated seeing the two zeroes after the number. I have NO idea where this came from. It doesn't bother me anymore.Kelsi

[I was afraid of] a lamp. Yes, a lamp. It was one of those 70s laminate tables with a huge lamp growing out of the middle of it. I was convinced that when the lights went out, it turned into a wolf and lay in wait for me. So I refused to go in that room unless someone turned on all the lights first.ladypantsdance

The weirdest thing I was ever afraid of as a child was the letter U from Sesame Street. I don't remember why, but whenever the letter U would do his little song or whatever, I was terrified!

Natalie

I was also really really afraid of Hulk Hogan. My brother had my room before me and his life-size, to Baby Gillian, poster of Hulk Hogan was still at the foot of the bed. I thought he was going to jump out of the poster and kill me.
G

I was afraid of a hairless monkey that possibly lived under my bed. I think this was thanks to some weird Halloween movie I saw when I was 6. I still think about that damn monkey.
Emily

Thanks for commenting, making Yes and Yes part of your day and just generally being awesome human beings.  High five, team!

Mini Travel Guide: Japan

This is one of our many Mini Travel Guides, in which we dip our toes into the 'musts' of another country.  This guide comes to us via Kathryn who blogs about lovely things on Project Kathryn.

So much is written about the two sides of Japan – the traditional and the ultra modern but for me the beauty lies in the everyday.  The best things in Japan aren’t found in guide books but by walking (or cycling) around and detouring down fascinating side streets and  poking your nose into the most unobtrusive of shops.

Must go
Shibuya Crossing
You don’t really feel like you are in Japan until you’re in the middle of the chaos that is the Shibuya crossing, with video screens on every side of you.  If you really want to test your endurance for sensory overload, head to Shibuya 109 where the cool kids shop for fashion.  Otherwise, get a window seat at one of the coffee chains for awesome people watching.

Kamakura
So many people recommend I visit Kamakura but I ignored them thinking it was nothing but temples. Wrong!  Sure there are heaps of temples if you are into that kind of thing but the town has a hippy beach vibe –lots of laidback cafes and clothes stores mixed in with the traditional stores selling sembai (rice crackers) and matcha (green tea) ice cream.

The toilet
Japanese toilets are an experience in themselves.  Multiple water squirting options (including the “female” one), heated seats, deodorizing and discreet water flushing sounds to hide any embarrassing noise you make. 

Must do
Miss the last train home
Miss the last train on a Saturday night and hang with the locals on the streets of Shinjuku.  Kabukicho is the red light district but mostly safe enough for the lone female traveler.  There’s every kind of bar imaginable, but for cheap entertainment, just grab a beer or two from the conbini (convenience store).  Host boys with huge hair work the streets for customers, drunken salarymen propping each other up while groups of young and old Japanese party hard. 

If you get tired, there are a few options – a private booth at an internet café, complete with recliner chair (some even offer manicures), a love hotel with a wacky theme or a human-size locker in a capsule hotel.  Many capsule hotels are male only so if you want to take that option, it might be worth pre-planning.

Festivals
There is always a festival on in Japan, whether it’s one of the major religious festivals with elaborate gold mikoshi (portable shrines) carried by men in lion clothes or a small neighborhood events.  And, of course, there is all the festival food – usually on sticks – from whole fish to chocolate coated bananas.

Onsen
If you are freaked out by the thought of getting buck naked in a bath of boiling water with complete strangers, all the more reason to head to an onsen.  You’ll soon get over yourself and your body issues.  There are a few rules regarding onsen bathing – wash thoroughly before getting in the water is the main one, and there are usually posters with cute pictures to guide you.

Must eat
Ramen
You can’t go to Japan and NOT eat ramen.  These huge bowls of steaming noodle soup are the best.  Good places have queues out the door.  Buy a ticket from the machine and hand it to the guy behind the counter.  Choose between shio (salt), shoyu (soy sauce) and tonkutsu (pork) miso broth.  Every area has it’s own speciality and every one in Japan has their favorite store. 

Sushi
When you’ve tried sushi in Japan, you’ll be spoiled for anywhere else.  The place is to go is Tokyo’s Tsukiji Market.   The fish is fresh off the boat and into the market that morning.  The preparation, as you’d expect, is expert.  If you’re an early bird, you can watch the fish auctions first thing in the morning.

Okonimiyaki
Okonimiyaki is sometimes called “Japanese pizza”.  I have no idea why – it’s more of a cabbage-y omelette, topped with delicious sauce and mayonnaise.  Osaka style is all mixed together, Hiroshima style is layers – try both to decide which you prefer.

Cultural tip
Lugging a huge bag onto a crowded peak hour train is sure to make you unpopular and a lot of stations don’t have easily found elevators.  Instead go to the takuhaibin counters at the airport and have your bags delivered overnight to your hotel.

Travel on the cheap
Tabehoudai and nomihoudai (all you can eat/drink) can save you a fortune.

Get a JR pass before you travel.  Transport costs in Japan aren’t cheap so with unlimited train travel you can save heaps. 

The Nishinari area in Osaka is full of old hotels turned into cheap backpackers.  It’s a great place to stay to explore not only Osaka but also for day trips to Kyoto, Nara and Kobe.

Do you have any Japanese travel tips to share?  Questions for Kathryn?
Are you completely overwhelmed with wanderlust now? Check out my ebooks on how to quit your job and travel the world on your own!

Real Life Style Icon: Tanesha Awasthi of Girl With Curves

This is one of many Real Life Style Icon interviews, in which we talk to funny, smart, painfully cute ladies who we all want to befriend.  And then steal their clothes.

Name: Tanesha Awasthi
Age:  Old enough to know what works for my body and what doesn't
Location: San Jose, CA
Online haunts: my blog, my twitter, my facebook

Three reasons that you're awesome: My mission is to help women build a healthy relationship with fashion and getting dresses, I support fashion designers making clothing in extended sizes, and I made it to Fashion Week with 6 months of starting my blog.

What is the last item of clothing you bought?
A yellow/mustard colored blazer from Zara on 5th Ave. in NYC.

Tell us about a favorite childhood memory about your clothes.
I remember when my mom let me pick out my own outfit or the first day of pre-school: a baby pink Levi's jacket and white flare Levi's jeans, black mary-janes.  I cried when my pants got dirty on the playground!

What is your best thrifting score?
A vintage Louis Vuitton bag for $37.99, which I turned into a clutch due to a broken handle.

 
What are you wearing right now, as you type this?

High-waisted, wide leg black slacks, an olive green and black, sheer, polka dot top with a bow, an oversized Michael Kors rose gold watch, an onyx stone cocktail ring, leather and gold statement necklace, and black pumps with lace applique.

What is the item of clothing you most covet at the moment?
Cropped slacks!  It's so hard for me to find a great fitting pair, due to my height (I'm 5'10") and my body-type (hour-glass/pear).

Could you tell us your top three style tricks/DIYs?
When you can't find anything to wear, wear what you feel most like yourself in. When you need to add some va-va-voom to your outfit, add a waist-belt to show-off that waist to hip ratio! And don't be afraid to try skinny jeans!  Paired with a blousey top and open front cardigan, they can be super flattering.

Thanks so much, Tanesha!  Do you guys have any questions for the lovely lady?

Pantry Fancy

I am more than a little bit in love with my new apartment.  The bathroom is bigger than a bread box, the 'office' is larger than a closet and 90% of the electrical sockets and light switches actually work!  Decadent! 

But chief among my reasons for loving this apartment is the 'pantry' off the kitchen.  And by 'pantry.' I mean 'small closet-y thing with built in shelving.'  But it's the closest I've ever gotten to a pantry, so I'm going to decorate the sweet bejesus out of that tiny closet.  And lo, there will be glass jars filled with bulk goods and artfully arranged decorative items in coordinating colors!

A bit of pantry porn, you say?

What features would your dream kitchen include?  Mine would also have: a white ceramic farm sink, a pull-out, under-the-counter dishwasher and a big window over the sink that looked down a hill/at a body of water.

(Almost) Every Toy From the 1980s! Also: November Ad Space

Did you ever successfully complete a Rubic's cube?  I was the kid who was always trying to pick the stickers off...

Anyway!   It's almost holiday shopping season! And I can help you advertise your blog/website/etsy shop on this little corner of the internet! But don't take my word for it!  Here's what sponsors say:

Advertising with Sarah on Yes and Yes is one of the biggest ways to draw attention to your blog. As soon as my ad went up on her site, I noticed that I was receiving almost 200% more views each day! And Sarah does a great job writing posts throughout the month with links to your blog for extra attention. Advertising with Yes and Yes is a no brainer! - Tara, Deer in a Bottle

Advertising on Yes and Yes was such an awesome investment!  As a blogging n00b, it's been great to see several huge spikes in traffic, growth in my readership, and a bunch of new subscribers and Twitter followers.   Not to mention, Sarah is totally rad to work with.  I highly recommend grabbing a spot on her site! - Emily, Awesomania

Advertising on Yes and Yes has steadily increased the traffic to our blog - Love and Adventure. Not only that, but Sarah is totally a master of social media. After she linked to us, our traffic for that day spiked and we had five times as many visitors as usual! We’re barely 3 weeks into our 3 month advertising package and we couldn’t be happier - Kindra and Ryan.

Sponsoring Yes and Yes has been one of my most effective ways to advertise my coaching business. Each time I've advertised on Yes and Yes I have seen a spike in traffic and an increase in newsletter subscriptions. I can also attribute at least 4 new clients to my sponsorship of Yes and Yes. If you have a business or blog whose target audience is savvy 20- and 30-somethings then Yes and Yes is the perfect way to advertise to them. - Nailah Blades, Polka Dot Coaching


Do. it. now. Advertising on Yes and Yes was fantastic. I did a happy dance when my blog's daily page views quadrupled! Her readers are smart, funny and inspiring - everything you want from future friends. I will definitely advertise with Yes and Yes again. - Halley, A Life of Something New

Sponsorships are available in one, two and three month packages with pricing discounts at two and three months.  Sponsors who sign up for a two month package with receive an introduction post and three month sponsors have the option of a giveaway, if they're interested. 

Daily unique visitors: 3,200 - 3,500 a day
Page views: 150,000+ per month
Twitter followers: 2,300+
Facebook fans: 1,450+
Blogspot foll0wers: 2,430+
Google Page Rank: 4
Google reader subscribers: 5,260+

Want in?  I'd love to have you!  Email me at sarah (at) yesandyes (dot) org.

Notes From The Road: Virginia

I'm traveling through five east coast cities, over the course of three weeks. Don't be too jealous - I'm riding lots of buses and sleeping on lots of couches.  Check out previous Notes From The Road to read about my adventures in destinations like Laos, India, Thailand and Bolivia.  Not that Boston isn't exciting, too!

 

This was not my first trip to Virginia - and it won't be my last, I imagine.  There are probably parts of Virginia that are ugly and run down and maybe, come summer, I'd hate it.  But every time I go there, I think "Why don't I live here?  Look these houses with their big front porches and actual rocking chairs!  Is that a tiny, white-steepled church?  Did that old man just tip his hat to me?"

Also:  it is really, really, really fun to speak with a southern accent.  I'm sure everyone in hearing distance found my attempts annoying/ridiculous but I rather enjoyed myself.

I was in Salem visiting my old friend Brooke and we had all sorts of adventures:  eating cheesy grits and stewed apples at a little local diner, picnicing in The Blue Mountains, pawing through piles of antiques, making fried green tomatoes (amazing!), dining at a good old-fashioned soda shop, thrifting, trawling the farmers' market, trying to watch the meteor shower, drinking 8 million coffees and talking about all those things you talk about with people you've known for 20 years.

Next up: South Dakota and The Black Hills!  Any can't-miss spots I need to know about?  

Really, I swear.  At some point I'm going to go back to the Twin Cities and stay in one place for at least two months.

True Story: I Chose To Have A Baby On My Own (With The Help of A Team of Doctors And A Sperm Donor)

Calliope and W.

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things.  This is the story of Calliope and her son W.  Calliope had her son via IVF and a sperm donor.

Tell us a bit about yourself!
The first things people notice about me are my height (I am just over 6 feet tall) and my love of plaid. After that I aspire to be silly, kind and generous. I am a writer, photographer and graphic web designer who is mid-thirties (on the dot!). For fun I like to find new fonts, sing along to Paul Simon, and cook with my toddler son W. I have been blogging under the pen name Calliope at CreatingMotherhood.com for over 6 years and just recently began writing a combination memoir and self-help book about caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer's.

When did you begin to think about having a baby on your own?
I had a moment in college that I imagine a few women did: I was certain that I was going to have a very large and amazing life full of romance and career success. But there was a flash where I thought, "but if I don't have kids by ___ age I will call up ____ and we will take care of that!"

I didn't seriously think about becoming a single mother until my entire life changed. I left my career in the film industry in Los Angeles and moved to Alabama to take care of my Grandmother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. After the first year of being her primary caregiver something sort of shifted inside of me - I don't think it was a biological clock- I was only 28 at the time-but this sort of maternal light turned on and I felt that if I wanted to be a Mother, NOW might be a good time.

Why did you choose to go this route instead of adopting or fostering?
This is an interesting question that has several answers. The first answer is that I come from a small family and had just lost my Grandfather. I imagine my desire to have a biological child was just as strong as any other woman's in a married or partnered relationship. That I was single just meant that I needed to go through a few extra steps.

The next answer is that adopting and/ or fostering a child in the United States is not an easy thing to do as a single woman.

Can you tell us about the process?
The first step that I took was setting up an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrynologist. This is not something that every woman needs to do, but there happened to be one in the same building as my primary care physician so it made the most sense.

At the first appointment I had a complete woman's wellness exam and several vials of blood taken for a complete blood workup as well as genetic carrier tests. I wanted to start immediately but decided to wait until I had my results back - just in case.

In the meantime I had probably a very unique Mother/daughter bonding experience: My Mother and I spent a weekend looking on-line at different sperm banks that my doctor's office had experience working with. It was a whole new world for both of us.

By the second day of looking we were able to focus more. Buying sperm on-line is a very surreal thing to do. It's like internet dating. I ended up making a list of what was important to me and then went back to the banks and used their search tools to narrow down the selection. I wanted a donor that had a similar ethnic history, indicated a good health history (it is amazing the details that you are provided!), with an interest in athletics (in case that is hereditary because I am a klutz), with an outgoing personality, and a few other characteristics.

I went through several different donors from three different banks.

I went through a total of 13 IUI's and never achieved pregnancy.

I went through two IVF's but only made it to retrieval day for one of them. (it's a LONG story why I didn't get to finish my first IVF cycle - you can find it by searching "false positive hepatitis C test" on my blog...um yeah)

My 2nd IVF resulted in a pregnancy that I lost early. I then had a frozen embryo transfer and had a healthy pregnancy and beautiful son.

As for the cost breakdown? You can read all about that here

How did the people in your life react to your decision?
Someone once told  that how you present news is how people will receive news. So if you say, "GREAT NEWS! I'm going to have a baby!" People realize it is, indeed, great news. All of my friends and family know that I am single - and most of them knew that I was trying to become a Mom. Five years of trying is not something you can really keep under wraps.

"It's just us." Is what I say now. If someone remarks on my son and says, "oh I bet his Father is tall too!" I just smile. (and if I feel comfortable I share more)

How did you prepare (emotionally, financially, domestically, logistically) since you knew  you'd be having and raising this child on your own?
The greatest advantage that I have is that while I am, indeed, a single mother I have never felt like I was raising my son solo. I have amazing friends a phone call or e-mail away should I ever need advice. But the only way that I am truly able to be the kind of mom that I want to be is because of my own Mother. Ever since my Mother and I moved in with my Grandmother we have lived in a multi-generational home. I was able to stay at home and be a caregiver to my Grandmother because my Mother worked full time. When I was pregnant with my son my Grandmother went with me to every OB appointment I ever had. She was holding my hand when I found out I was going to have a son.

My Grandmother passed away when my son was 6 months old & My Mother and my son and I continue to live together - it is the only way I can imagine making my family work.

What have you said to your son about his father?
It hasn't been a subject that has come up. We are still differentiating between Bert & Ernie. When it does - I plan on being incredibly open. I used an open donor to conceive W. This means that when he turns 18 he has the option of being in contact with his donor. I also know that there are half siblings created from this donor that are listed on the donor sibling registry. I plan on presenting all of this information to W and letting him tell me how much or how little he wants to be involved. He has options.

Are you interested in having more children? 
Yes. I would love to try for one more child. I am incredibly lucky to still have some frozen embryos and hope it won't take as long the 2nd time!

What advice would you give to other women who are interested in having children this way?
I have been blogging about my path to creating motherhood for many years now. Through the years I have gotten several e-mails from readers that are much older and they all say that they wish they had just taken the leap.

It really IS a leap. But if you have been thinking about this? Go for it.

One of the (MANY!) reasons why I am so happy that I had my son this way is because I know that once being a Mom was on my mind that it was going to be at the front of my mind. Bringing that into any dating relationship is hard. I also didn't want to meet someone great and find out that they didn't want to have kids and surrender this dream.

Now I am a woman who has a son. I can not wait to meet a wonderful man that is ok with that. Of course I would have loved to have gone a more traditional route in life and met someone, got married, and had a baby. But traditional doesn't always happen. Sometimes you just have to make your own story happen.

Have any of you considered IVF or a sperm donor as a way to have kids?  Any questions for Calliope?

Web Time Wasters

I love the idea of an email intervention.  My addiction is OOC.

Jason Biggs (of American Pie fame) and his wife got a sex worker for his birthday.  Well.  My goodness.

Congratulations, Television!  You are even worse at masculinity than femininity!
I honestly think the men on television now resemble the men I know even less than the women on television resemble the women I know, and at least women are not being out-and-out instructed that there is only one way to be a woman.

World's best affordable hotels!

Funny, weird Halloween costumes for kiddos.

Gorgeous and fascinating.  A Visual Anthropology of The World's Last Living Nomads.

Good stuff (as always) from my girl, Rachel Hills.  The Hook Up Myth
They may “hook up” – young-person speak for a casual sexual encounter that might include anything from kissing to intercourse and beyond – or engage in Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis-style Friends With Benefits relationships, but most aren’t doing it every weekend, or even every couple of months.  Even the most glamorous, confident and sexually experienced young people – the flashy metrosexuals and miniskirted model types who style and social lives most echo the images of gyrating young flesh and endless sexual opportunity that dominate movies and reality TV – have little in common with those images when it comes to the facts of their sex lives.

Remember how I like to call my design sense 'fancy weirdo'? Obviously, I love these fancy gold and crystal skulls.  And this jewelry line meets my 'fancy weirdo' criteria, too.

This fish bowl is simultaneously awesome and anxiety-inducing.

Denmark has imposed a 'fat tax' tax on unhealthy food.  Thoughts?


Photos like these make me miss Australia.

Melissa's letters to her future husband are super sweet.

Great stuff.  Where does your brilliance lie?

It’s not just what you’re good at––it’s a piece in you that shines bright. Each of us––yes, you and you and you and you (and me, too)––has a resplendent smarts about her. It might be buried under some insecurity or fear or denial, but it’s in there. Maybe it’s already out in full-force, each day in your life––hat’s off! That, I think, is the goal. To know it, to name it, to claim it, to live it. Your brilliance––whatever it is––has enormous value.

If you've got an Etsy shop, you need to read a rock star's guide to product pricing.

Amy is selling $2 raffle tickets to raise money for Charity Water.  Can you help?  

Breathtaking photos of sea creatures

Indie legends celebrate the songs of Shel Silverstein!?

On the Yes and Yes Every Buddy boards, we're talking about worst bosses ever, what to do when you fall for your 'friend with benefits,' advice on moving houses and how domestic are you?

 Current Obsessions: Givers' Saw You First (joyful zydeco folk!), Mariachi El Bronx's 48 Roses (what happens when a punk band blows out their vocal chords and switches musical genres?), roasting every vegetable ever, learning how to make kumbucha (what a hippie!), putting cracked pepper on everything.

Did you find any great links this week?  Leave them in the comments!

I Need Nothing

How great is this video?! Clever, clever, clever.

Notes From The Road: DC

I'm visiting five east coast cities over the course of three weeks, mostly busing and crashing on friends' couches. You can check out past Notes From The Road (which are more international in nature) here.

If you're a Virgo/type A/deeply uptight person, I'd like to introduce you to your dream town: Washington, DC.

This is not necessarily to say that DC is eat-off-the-ground clean or runs on time (what's up, Congress?) but, you guys?  Those streets!  That grid layout!  I love nothing more than knowing that 14th street will be followed by 15th and that C street comes before F street.  And when you look down those gloriously wide, tree-lined boulevards and you can see forever?  Be still my little Virgo heart.

In addition to abandoning my map and swooning over city planning, I found time to check out some of DC's best stuff.  The Holocaust Museum (those piles of shoes...), The White House and the Washington Monument, Busboys and Poets (the coconut tofu balls!) and all the wee boutiques and shops around Logan Circle and U street.  I also discovered my new favorite bar of all time: The Saloon.  No standing, no tvs, no martinis and 25 cents of every customer's bill goes to help build schools in developing countries!

I also spent an afternoon at the Natural History Museum where I compiled an extensive list of New Animals To Like/Dislike.  (FYI: Kinkajou = yes. Highfin Tadpole fish = no.)

Next stop: Salem/Roanoke, Virginia!  Any advice?

What Does English Sound Like?

What does English sound like to non-native speakers? As a former ESL teacher/linguistics nerd/constant traveler, this video floats my proverbial boat on a million different levels. 

What's your favorite language to listen to - regardless of whether you understand it or not?  I love Portuguese and Russian!

How To Break Up With Them (Without Losing Yourself or Your Sanity)

This guest post comes to us via the lovely Danielle Dowling, professional soul sister and relationship re-mixer.  She writes about break ups, make ups and lots of other things three times a week on her blog.  Pop over and say hi!

So you’re over them, huh?

Ka-put.
Finito.
Sayonara.

An impending breakup is encroaching on the outskirts of your thoughts.  Your intuition is telling you—it’s time.

The single most important thing you need to know:  You have permission to go.

The truth of it?  Breakups are hard. Heartbreak is part of the the human experience of loving and being loved.

Chances are that both of you know things have been far from ideal lately.
But maybe you sense they still have hope and the idea of slicing their self-esteem in half has you second-guessing “the talk.”

Reality check:  It’s a part of life, and you can’t prevent your partner from getting hurt.  
Being in a relationship is a choice, and just as you made a choice to begin a relationship, you can make the choice to end it.

There will be hurt feelings.  There will be disappointment.

But, really? You’re giving  them the gift of freedom and the opportunity to find a partner who will celebrate them for who they are - with no amendments and no tweaks.

And what about you? Yeah, you.  Remember her?
You deserve to have what you want.

You want: eye contact, smiles,  crazy passionate sex + laughter? You want: emotional support, loyalty + chemistry? No problem.  It’s yours.

Right after this breakup.   If the relationship you are in has fallen short it must die in order for a new love to be born.

So how exactly do you break-up with someone quickly, with respect and with the least amount of drama possible?

You literally steal your nerves and then:

1. In private tell your partner you’d like to have a serious conversation. If he asks “what about,” say you have decided that you need to end the relationship.  It’s best to be straight forward.  

Like ripping off a band-aid.  Do it quick.  Get the information on the table.

2. Every expert will tell you to have this conversation in person.  And you know what?  They’re right.  If you‘ve been on six or less dates you have a free pass to call instead.  Otherwise, suck it up, honor the relationship you had + schedule a date to meet.  (Do not just ignore them or disappear--it’s rude and bad karma.--who wants that?)

3. Hold your ground.  It’s possible they won’t want to break up and they’ll attempt to convince you otherwise.  There are real reasons why you came to this decision.  Stay firm.  It’s not fair to go back to dating someone just because you feel guilty or “bad for them.”  This would be a waste of everyone’s time + a form of self-sabotage.  Choose to embrace the transition + stay focused so you can bypass the muck and mire of flip-flopping.

4. Does he have an important interview next Thursday? Milestone birthday coming up or a parent who is ill? The timing not working in your favor, huh? Feeling a little guiltily about wanting to run for the hills?  There is never a good time to leave, and the sooner you do it,  the sooner you both can get on with your lives.  It’s that simple.

5. No Contact.  Why do we love violating this rule? There is no to fall down the rabbit hole of frustration than insisting on trying to create a friendship out of a failed relationship. It’s a bad idea and it’s hard on everyone.   If possible, don’t talk about ‘staying friends.’  If you’re meant to cross paths again one day- you will.

How do you go about ending a relationship?  Are you good or bad at break ups?

Hello, hello October sponsors!

Question: how clever and talented are this month's sponsors?  Answer: quite.  Pop over to their respective blogs/shops/websites and take a peek for yourself!

Cupcakes and Mace
Kia ora! I'm Kim, a twenty-something part time blogger/jewellery designer/office temp. I'm obsessed with food, taking photos of the sky, and having my finger in every internet pie. I never wear heels or rompers or tights as pants. Instead you'll find me in sneakers and jewellery made from bright plastic. I've been blogging at Cupcakes and Mace for the past few years and a couple of years ago I quit my last permanent job to make laser cut jewellery and enjoy life more. No regrets! I live in Wellington, New Zealand and spend my nights dreaming of the world.

Wild Dawn Photography
My first love is nature, especially wildlife. When I travel love capturing the essence of the place and the people who live there. I always thrilled when I can capture a candid moment - the most genuine and meaningful photos are those where people don't even know the shutter has gone off. I really like my camera, a lot. It has been with me all over the world and has survived a few falls.

Polka Dot Coaching
I'm Nailah Blades, a Life Coach, idea generator + inspirational speaker who helps twenty- and thirty-something women sweep away their headtrash and uncover their true passions - by breaking down queen-sized dreams into bite-sized goals. Through 1-on-1 coaching, group experiences and practical tipsheets + workbooks, I show young women that making bold changes - and a big impact, in the world - doesn’t have to be riddled with costly mistakes, or heart-breaking shake-ups. It can smooth, strategic + seriously fun. Find me on Twitter at @NailahBlades.

Pose83
Hello Internet. I'm Jo and I live on the Welsh Riviera, in Cardiff, UK. I started blogging at Pose83.com this year to try and emulated the people that inspire me through their writing. I blog about many things, but there is a definite skew towards dating and baking, because, you know, those things are kind of important to all of use, right? I'm 27 and happily live with 3 fantastic and patient housemates, who influence a lot of what I do and write. I like to challenge traditional and societal ideals, with attempts to be humorous and thought provoking. I love dancing in my car, Sunday evenings and cheese. I'm not a fan of people blowing their nose in public, using babies as profile pictures or peas in gangs. Swing by and say hi. Free to browse, open 24/7.

Awesomania
Awesomania hosts the rants and raves of one woman on a mission to up the awesome in her life by rambling about it on the internet.  Home projects, recipes, awesome internet finds, general musings, and far too much ALL CAPS abound!  Turn-ons include: the internet, self improvement, craft beer, and non-ironic nerdiness.  Turn-offs: douchebaggery and writing.  Except on the blog (the writing, not the douchebaggery). Bring it, fool.

Love and Adventure
We live in Madison, Wisconsin with two naughty hound dogs and one ancient cat. We love to travel and we love to travel together. It doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend getaway in Wisconsin or a trek through Europe; it’s a big world and a short life, and we want to cover as much ground as we can before we kick the bucket. Why love and adventure? Well, we promised to keep having adventures when we got married – we put in our vows, and it’s even on the inside of Kindra’s band.

Head heart health
Hi, I'm Katie and I have two passions in my life -- writing and personal development. My blog started out as a health and fitness blog and has then since transformed into stories about food (I'm a recovered bulimic), sex (I met my boyfriend internet dating) and death (my husband committed suicide last year). I am currently writing a book about marriage as well as developing a process of writing therapy that will be ready for testing soon. I would love to get to know you so please come over and visit.

Wanna see your sweet face or products in this space?  Here's my sponsorship info (almost 10,000 people read Yes and Yes every day!)  Email me at sarah (at) yesandyes (dot) org to set up a sponsorship!