Super Sale! 2011 Calendar For $12!

You guys! There are a few orphaned copies of my much-beloved 2011 'Year in Yes' calendar left and I'd love to see them go to a good home. I'll give them to you for $12 if you promise to walk them and cuddle them and feed them bacon scraps under the table. Deal? Deal.

True Story: I Have Panic Attacks

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things. This is the story of Brittany and her struggle to overcome panic attacks and anxiety issues.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
I am a Southern Girl from Alabama , but I am currently living in the Los Angeles area. Two years ago I moved here to be with my then fiance and now husband. I work as a children's tutor, run my own small blog design business, and am currently getting my master’s degree in counseling. I was raised by a fabulous single mother, who is my best friend, but spent my childhood summers/holidays with my abusive father. I believe a lot of my insecurities and anxiety issues stem from my relationship with him. You could never be pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough for my father. I've worked to forgive my father, but have learned it is impossible for us to have a healthy relationship, even as adults.

What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding panic attacks and anxiety issues?
People often consider people with anxiety disorders to be weak. While I sometimes struggle with everyday issues, I am a strong woman. I have survived much in my short life: a broken home, an abusive childhood, and a drug addicted brother. The mere fact that I was able to graduate high school and college is a huge achievement because just attending class was often a task akin to pushing a 100 lb boulder uphill.

Another misconception is that anxiety just isn't that big of a deal. But anxiety/panic attacks are a big hindrance to your everyday life. When I try and explain anxiety to others, I tell them to think of their biggest fear and how they feel when confronted with that fear. Now imagine feeling that way everyday when faced with mundane, daily tasks that shouldn’t be terrifying.

Do you remember feeling that you were more anxious than other people? How old were you when you had your first panic attack?
I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t nervous. I always had an understanding that I was different than other kids. My family labeled me a drama queen or overly sensitive and my best friend would call me a “scaredy cat.” I would throw temper tantrums everyday before going to school because I was so overwhelmed by thoughts of answering a teacher's question wrong. As a child, when my mother was a minute late coming home from work, I couldn't breath. I knew she was dead. I was scared to answer the phone because I was so socially anxious. I also never voiced my fears because I just had a feeling that I was "different" and that it wasn’t okay to be that way.

I had my first panic attack at the age of 14. I just remember sitting in my bedroom and doing my homework, and all of a sudden feeling like I couldn't breathe. My heart was racing, my hands were tingling, and I was convinced I was going to die. I’ve never had a heart attack, but I think that is what it would feel like. I was home alone at the time, and I never told anyone what happened. I didn't want to worry anyone, but I mostly kept it secret because I just didn't want to deal with the problem.

What triggers your panic attacks?
Since I entered treatment, my panic attacks are now very rare. When I had panic attacks in the past, they usually came after I had what I call a “nervous day.” A nervous day is just when I have a lot of free floating anxiety. This means I feel really anxious all day for no reason that I can explain. On these days, I just can't relax and have trouble sitting still for any length of time. I also pace the floors like a caged animal. Sometimes on these days, I will have a panic attack. I've also had panic attacks that aren't triggered by anything at all. I can be calm one minute and feel like I am losing my mind the next. This is something I have never understood and has never been fully explained to me. But I’ve learned this is very common.

How do people react when you tell them about your anxiety issues?
When I was younger, I used to be really ashamed of my anxiety. I would work really hard to hide it from everyone except close family and friends. While I don't walk into a room waving the anxiety flag, I’m much more open about it now. Most people are very supportive when I tell them about my anxiousness. They usually ask me questions about what it is like, or tell me about people they know who have anxiety. However, a few people have launched into a negative diatribe over the use of medication to treat mental disorders. I usually just tune those people out because it is obvious to me that they don’t understand what it is like to have anxiety. Plus, I don’t need people that are that judgmental as part of my life.

Have you sought treatment for your anxiety issues?
I started attending therapy when I was about 16 years old. I was going through a particularly rough time. I had started skipping school more days than I attended because I was so overwhelmed. I found out that I was going to fail the year because of my absences. I remember thinking I couldn’t tell my mom I was failing and believing that my life was pointless. Because of all this, I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on Tylenol P.M. Luckily, I changed my mind at the last moment and called 911. I was so ashamed and I just knew something had to change. My mom found me a therapist, and I was in therapy weekly for three years. I can honestly say she saved my life. I finally had someone to tell me I wasn’t crazy and this wasn’t my fault. She also gave me the tools to manage my life and anxiety. Because of the positive experience I had with her, I decided I wanted to be a therapist.

During this time period, I started taking anti-anxiety medication. The medication didn’t/doesn’t take away my anxiety, but it brings it down to a level where I can cope. I also have very few panic attacks anymore. I’ve gone through phases in my life, when I have taken myself off the medication. But when I’m off the medication it doesn’t take long for me to start feeling like my life is too much for me to handle. I have accepted that I will be on medication for the rest of my life.

What advice would you give to someone struggling with anxiety issues? Or to someone whose loved one has anxiety issues?
My advice to someone who has anxiety is to not be afraid to ask for help. There is no reason to suffer in silence. This only makes it harder. Help could mean therapy, medication, or confiding in a loved one. Find something that works for you. Also, don’t stop living your life. There have been many times I didn’t do something because I was scared, and I have regretted it. But the times I have soldiered on, have been the best and most rewarding experiences.

If you are dating, friends with, or related to someone with anxiety, the absolute very best thing you can do is try to be understanding. Remember to listen without trying to problem solve. Attend therapy with the person if you can, you may get a new perspective on the disorder. I know the thing I love the most about my husband is that he doesn’t always understand me but he tries.

Do you know anyone who struggles with anxiety issues? Any questions for Brittany?

You Decide

via Yum & Yuk

Blogs You Should Be Reading: Smart, Pretty And Awkward

Who wants to be smart, pretty and (less) awkward? Mememe!

You too? Awesome! Then let's carpool over to Smart, Pretty and Awkward!

Every day you get three bite sized ideas about being smart, pretty and less awkward. Ideas like:

How to be Smarter: Only focusing on a tiny brushstroke of your life, whether it be ‘do I have a boyfriend?,’ “is my job high-paying?’, or ‘am I thinner than her?’ makes you lose appreciation for the entire painting. Brushstrokes work together to form a complete beautiful painting; different parts of your life work together to form a complete beautiful life. And an incomplete or unfinished brushstroke doesn’t make the painting ugly.

How to be Prettier: Being photographed against snow makes you look tanner (to illustrate this point: my photo in this interview).

How to be (less) Awkward: If you wouldn’t be sassy with a perfect stranger, then there is certainly no reason to be fresh or harsh to a significant other.

Great, no? I know you want to head over there and read through the archives! Annnnnd you're welcome.

Joy In The Form of Accessories

If sheer, unadulterated joy could take the form of headbands, broaches and shoe fanc-i-fiers, I'm pretty sure it would look like Ban-do's latest line of cutery. And how perfect is that model's lipstick?!

Web Time Wasters

I think that chapter in Grapes of Wrath needs to be re-written.
(Nerdy English-major humor! Anybody? Anybody?!)

Friends! How was your week? I finished up my short stint teaching English to sex workers (which lead to some veeeeery interesting flashcards, ifyouknowwhatimean) and now I'm heading to Laos for five days. I'm fantasizing about riding a bicycle through rice paddies to hidden temples and reading in a hammock.

Though I'm sure the trip will also involve riding in vans with bad suspension on dirt roads and attempting to mime "I'm a vegetarian."

Fun things from the interwebz!

Super Interesting! How the rest of the world exercises - badmitton, group calisthenics and billiards? Personal sidenote: when I taught English in Taiwan I was expected to lead 15 minutes of choreographed morning aerobics for 3-6 year olds. We obviously had to dance to Beyonce's 'Crazy.'

I do love a fashion spread based on a theme. Zodiac-based fashion!

In the event that you wanted to decorate your flat (or dress) in the style of The Big Lebowski...

I'm not sure if it's true, but the thought is super depressing - well-educated, successful women have a hard time finding equally awesome guys?

The daily routines of famous people! (Simone de Beauvior liked to start the day with tea and would work until 9 pm, Stephen King needs to have everything organized in the same place before he can start writing)

Free download of ice-breaker tags to encourage mingling at your next dinner party!

The Lives They Lived is the super interesting obituary section of the New York Times. You'd think it would be depressing, but it makes me want to live as life exciting enough to validate a write up like this!

Awesome. Ten charities that deserve ten bucks

Cold weather is no excuse! Plans for an adorable winter picnic

Wow. Ifitweremyhome compares lifestyles (and life quality) of any two countries. If I'd been born in New Zealand instead of the U.S., I'd spend 63% less money on health care, have 4% more free time and experience 19% less of a class divide. But I'd also make 41% less money.

Type A, Over-organizer, Virgo alert! Super awesome plans (with free downloadables) for making your own daily planner.

The Chinese president visited the white house and wanted a "quintessentially American meal" and this is what the White House came up with. Thoughts?

Useful! How To Self-Promote Without Being A Jerk

And in other news: I am totally, totally, totally obsessed with this song. Totally.

On Optimism And Email

Am I the only person who sometimes wakes up early thinking "Oh! I get to check my email! I wonder what's in there?!" I love that there's a little box of messages just for me - updates from people that I know and love, suggested links from you guys and (frequently) hilarious photos of animals from my BFF.

Also, I love Jane Austen (who doesn't?) so I obviously love this quote about Jane Austen, optimism and email:

Somebody said of email, 'It’s the place for hope in life.' It reminds me of how in Jane Austen, carriages are always coming, you’re waiting, it could be Mr. Bingley’s invitation to a ball. There’s some sense that the post is always arriving in Jane Austen. There’s something about email that carries the sense that that’s where the good news will come.
- Sherry Turkle
via Yum & Yuk

Do you get excited about checking your email?

Blessings From Thailand

I know your life is already pretty awesome. But in the event that you need a bit of good karma, a little hunk of good luck or just a shove into the fastlane - there's a bell deep in the mountains of northern Thailand that's ringing good things in your direction.

Could-Have-Been Love Story

Let's just tell people we like them. I like you!

See? So easy.

Notes From The Road: Hello, Hill Tribes!

A few weeks ago my lovely sociologist friends Daniel and Amanda were sweet enough to take me with them on one of their visits to an Akha hilltribe village, deep in the mountains of northern Thailand. I ate my weight in sticky rice, befriended all the village dogs and sat in on my friends' interviews.

Other moments of note?

* receiving the Akha name "Mi-thi" which apparently means "medium girl" or "slightly smaller than average girl." But I guess this is par for the course as other friends were labeled "standard man" and "action girl" and (horrifyingly!) "cat belly"

* eating coffee beans and papayas straight off the tree

* waking to the sound of roosters every morning (which I am totally, totally over)

* sitting in a circle of whiskey-drinking men who wanted to stroke my yellow hair

* impromptu dancing with a tiny old woman while she sang a song about friends

* hearing the sounds of the village's Sunday church service wafting through the trees

* meeting a pet civet who ate oranges and drank coca-cola

* trying to find a way to (politely) refuse offer after offer of rice whiskey

* listening while my friend told the villagers, in Thai, that I had a pet cat that I liked to dress in clothes. They all nodded and announced that this was wise, as America was a cold place and cats surely needed outfits there.

Photos by Daniel Ahlquist

If you're in Thailand and would like to visit or volunteer with a hilltribe village, The Mirror Foundation is a fantastic resource. You can volunteer from one week to three months, teaching English, helping at temples and hospitals, building water tanks or even washing the village dogs! The Mirror Foundation also offers trekking and homestay programs and they've got a great (and cheap!) guest house in Chiang Rai if you're in the neighborhood.

Want To Sponsor Yes and Yes for the Month of February?

You guys! We've got a few sponsorship slots available for February! Do you have a blog, small business or etsy shop? Yes and Yes's readers are interesting, educated, incredibly attractive people. And if you'd like to talk to them, we can help.

Sponsorships are available in one, two and three month packages with pricing discounts at two and three months. Sponsors who sign up for a two month package with receive an introduction post and three month sponsors have the option of a giveaway, if they're interested. Ads are shuffled mid month, so everybody gets a chance for the top spot.

Some facts about Yes and Yes?

Daily hits: 1,800 - 2,200 a day

Page views: 110,000+ per month

Twitter followers: 1,340+

Facebook fans: 960+
Google Reader followers: 3,900+

What do former sponsors have to say Yes and Yes?

"The hits have been fantastic—by far the most effective advertising dollars I've ever spent! Thank you!"

- Julie Mack

How To Be More Productive - Advice from a Type A Virgo

This fantastic guest post comes from my nose-twin (and possibly Virgo, overachiever twin) Lady Smaggle. Girlfriend teaches, acts, blogs, goes to school, designs jewelry and still finds time to rock a great relationship and a busy social life. Let's borrow a page from her book!

I’m a naturally (and irritatingly) organized person but even I need a swift kick up the backside every now and then to stay motivated. Here are a few tips to help you stay on top of things…

1. Plan. Plan. Plan.
If you don’t own a diary then buy one. Write down all of your appointments in it. Schedule your gym sessions, coffee dates, what night it’s your turn to cook dinner, when your next project is due – everything. I cannot fathom how anyone survives without a diary. Buy it, use it. Your diary should be like a puffer for an asthmatic. Do not leave the house without it. Go into semi-permanent state of panic if you lose it. Diary = Livelihood. Get it?

2. Learn how to write lists.
Most people think this is a no-brainer but there is a serious art to list writing. A little known tip to write an average to-do list is to categorise it. For instance my to do list today consisted of the following

Computer
*Blog post on productivity
*Print earrings photo for auction portfolio
*Emails
*Transfer rent money
*Book flights for July trip to Brisbane

House
* Clean kitchen/washing up
* Put clean clothes away
* Clean sheets on bed

Errands (Don’t forget travel mugs and green bags!)
* Gym
* Post Office
* Shopping
* 2 x takeaway coffees

This way you can knock over a whole category at once and save yourself time by not jumping from a ‘House’ task to an ‘Errand’ task. I also use categories like ‘School’, ‘Body’, ‘Blog’, ‘Work’ and ‘Personal’. You can then have sub-lists within these categories for tasks like shopping or emails. You should also have daily lists (washing up, email editor, shop for dinner), weekly lists (start research on assignment, buy wedding present, take car to be washed) and monthly lists (book dentist appointment, roll super-annuation funds, join new gym) so you don’t go crashing towards the end of the year realizing, in December, that you haven’t paid your electricity bill since August.

3. Fake it until you make it.
It takes thirty days for a behavior to become a habit. Start every day with the proverbial ‘can do’ attitude and commit to thirty days of organization. I guarantee at the end of this time you’ll have three matching notebooks with categorized lists and a full supply of Sharpies in your handbag at all times. And if you really love me you’ll also alphabetize your book shelf and label all the jars in your kitchen pantry… I’m just saying.

4. Plan a treat at the end of a busy day.
I study full time and work part time. Both my study and work require a lot of extra hours of research and planning so my weekends and evenings are often spent working. When I wake up on a Sunday I’ll make plans with a friend to have a coffee or a glass of wine at five o’clock that evening so I have the incentive to get everything done. If you leave your time open ended it leads to procrastination and time wastage. Always give yourself deadlines.

5. Remember that there are 24 usable hours in everyday.
And if you don’t spend at least 6 to 8 of those hours sleeping, the rest of them are pretty bloody useless.

6. Ban distractions.
I love nothing more than to write while Sex in the City is on in the background but unfortunately it makes me start every blog post with a Carrie-ism – ‘And that got me thinking… (insert rhetorical question here)?’ so that habit had to go. Be honest with yourself. If Facebook/Twitter/YouTube are taking up most of your day, work away from the internet. Turn off the music. Switch your phone to silent. Halve the amount of time you spend working and double the amount of time you spend playing.

7. Prioritize.
Really think about what is urgent and get those tasks done ASAP… because every time you miss a deadline, a fairy dies.

What are your productivity tips? Do share!

A Valentine's Day Treat! For You!

Isn't this a sweet little cameo? Designer Kyla Roma knows what's up: big infinity scarves, sweet little notenooks and unique necklaces.

Wanna win this sweet blue necklace? Pop over and check out her shop and then tell us what you'd wear this necklace with! (I'd pair with with boyfriend jeans, an old white t-shirt, brown oxfords and my grandpa's driving cap)

Good luck!

True Story: I Have My Dream Job

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things. This is the story of Emma and how she left a job she hated for one that she totally, totally loves. How fantastic, right?

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
Hi there. I'm Emma, 29 and I am from New Zealand. I grew up in what the Rolling Stones described as the 'asshole of the world' – Invercargill. I now live in Nelson, via Wellington and Dunedin. In my spare time I love to hula hoop and go for long walks. I spend lots of time looking for houses I would like to live in (we are trying to buy our first home), plan my impending nuptials, look after our two kitties, play Lady Gaga on my cello, pretend to play the banjo, and hassle my fiance about getting a puppy.

What did you study at university? What were your first jobs out of school like?
I always loved playing music, and really just wanted to do that all the time, so when I finally got to the University of Otago (after failing high school and taking a year off), I had decided on doing a bachelor of music, endorsed in contemporary music.

My confidence was really shot after failing school, so Uni was a big risk for me. Once I had passed my first 6 months, my confidence went up and I decided to do a second degree in Film and Media Studies.

How much did you hate your previous jobs? What did you hate about them?
Well, some days were better than others. Pay day was always a highlight! I worked mainly in hospitality, going from working in a trendy bar which I hated, to a completely kitsch restaurant that I loved. It was never meant to be long-term however. At uni, the goal was to work in order to have money to be social, and that’s about it.

After I graduated, I took a job working in an office. Things got pretty boring. Gone were the days of partying, and I was stuck in a job that had loads of responsibility that I just didn’t want.

I justified taking the job so that I could still work on my song writing and perform live gigs, as I had been doing throughout my studies, but god, the daily grind was a bit monotonous. Overall I hated my previous jobs because I was just floating on by, being a robot, and waiting for 5pm to come around.

Did hating your job affect other aspects of your life?
I found that after 8 hours in front of a computer I didn't have the energy to go out afterward, and became a social hermit pretty early on in the game. All I did was work-gym-home-sleep on weekdays, and I didn't feel like the intellectual part of me was getting fulfilled at all. Work was also frustrating. There would be massive deadlines to meet each month, and I was working with numbers all day and inputting data - NOT my favorite thing in the world.

What made you decide to quit your job and go back to school?
I had heard about music therapy through my sister, who is a clinical psychologist in Ireland. It sounded amazing, and my sister said she could absolutely imagine me doing it. I always had a bit of a sore spot about spending four years at university, and not doing anything with my qualifications, and this looked like a good opportunity to get back in to it.

I had a look around to see where music therapy was offered, and the only place in New Zealand where you can train as a music therapist is at the New Zealand School of Music, in Wellington. I had to audition for the course - there are only about 8 spaces a year - and I got put on to the waiting list. Resigned in the fact that I had not been accepted, I decided to buy a ticket to the UK. About a month later I got a letter in the mail telling me I had been accepted. So, I went to the park and wrote a list of pros and cons, and then called my Mum. By the end of the week, I had canceled my trip, and written a letter of resignation to my boss. I remember being so scared about leaving Dunedin and my pay check behind, but determined to use my brain again!

How did the people in your life react to your decision?
They were amazingly supportive. Mum and Dad offered to help me financially, as Wellington is a lot more expensive to live in than Dunedin. Their contribution meant I could just concentrate on completing my Masters. A lot of my friends were planning to leave Dunedin to move to Auckland, so we were all in the same boat. I really had no one holding me back, so I sold all my belongings, found a flat, took my cat to my friends' house, and drove to Wellington all by myself. (The cat flew up later :)

While you were in graduate school, did you ever question your decision to leave your job?
I absolutely did. At the beginning it was amazing learning all these new skills, meet new people, be in the big city and be on placement. But, as the year went on and the assignments got harder and harder (and I got poorer and poorer), it became really difficult and stressful.

In that same year, Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I absolutely did not want to be in Wellington any longer, I wanted to be close to my Mum in Invercargill. I organized to be transferred for my second year to Dunedin (a 2 hour drive from Invercargill), but Mum insisted I stay in Wellington to get the best out of my course, and did not want to be the reason why I sacrificed all the work I had done. We made a compromise that I would be able to fly home whenever I wanted, which ended up being every 3 weeks or so. It was an incredibly hard time. She is really the one that got me through my studies, and I really wanted to make her proud. I was so thankful that I got to fulfil my promise to her and be with her throughout her illness until the end. Mum passed away in September 2008.

How do you feel now that you've landed your dream job?
Relieved? Shocked? Work as a music therapist is quite hard to find in NZ, and you really have to be motivated to find employment and make yourself known in the community. The fact that I had a job ready and waiting for me in Nelson was such a bonus. It was absolutely meant to be, and it is absolutely astounding I get to work with amazing kids and muck around all day playing music. I just can’t quite believe I made it through my masters and can call myself a New Zealand Registered Music Therapist.

What advice would you give to someone who hates their job but feels stuck? Are there any resources that were really useful for you?
Firstly, excuses are sometimes easier to make than actually taking a big gulp and jumping. Remember, you have only ONE life. If you are currently disappointed at the career path you are on, then think how disappointed you will be 20 years from now and you have not done anything to fix it.

Secondly, I found doing some work experience on my lunch breaks and realizing I had "the knack" for working with people helped set my mind at ease, and talking to practicing music therapists really got me saying yes, I want to be this! I am going to do it! Hurrah!!!!

How do you feel about your job? Have any of you taken a big leap into a career change?

Photos For Life

I love killing two birds with one stone (I mean metaphorically. I'm not into throwing lethal pebbles at blue jays) and in this case I mean:
1) procuring a lovely photograph
2) supporting a worth while cause

Photographer Alexanne is selling prints of her lovely work and donating 100% (one hundred percent, y'all!) of the proceeds to The Canadian Cancer Society. Fantastic, right?

Go check it out! Two birds! One stone!

Podcasts You Should Be Listening To: The Indie Travel Podcast

We've established that I'm occasionally a greedy little hoarder of awesome. And since I created my own travel ebook/podcast it is perhaps not in my best professional interest to tell you about other awesome travel stuff.

Especially when it's free.

But I am:
a) unprofessional
b) a lover of all thing free

I thought I would be remiss in my duty as your internet BFF if I didn't tell you about the Indie Travel Podcast. You guys. It's a wealth of useful, funny, great travel info from backpackers who've been everywhere. ever.

They have topics like How To Wash Your Clothes While Traveling, Fluent In Three Months, Rookie Flying Mistakes and a million other destination specific podcasts. Annnnd yer welcome.

What super-useful podcasts can you recommend?

Web Time Wasters

It's been a lovely, quiet-ish week here at the temporary headquarters of Yes and Yes (and by 'temporary headquarters' that I mean 'the couch in my friend's living room. or the chaise lounge next to the pool'). I visited an all-white temple, got swoopy bangs from a hairdresser who doesn't speak English, ate a lot of amazing food and remembered how much I love Asian 7-11s.

Next week I'm heading to the Laos border to work with Empower to teach English to sex workers. Interesting stuff!

Fun stuff from the interwebz!

I don't know about you, but my dorm room featured inflatable furniture and a Pez dispenser collection. Maybe I could have taken some cues from this insanely stylish dorm room.

Homemade beauty treatments to treat all your winter woes.

Sooooo important! Teaching college students who are about to enter a shaky job market how to manage their money.

Since I'm in Thailand, it's probably warm enough to validate purchasing every single one of these awesome stripey tops.

I love this sweet, pastel, Grandma-y room.

Dear America, You Cannot Wear Your Pajamas At All Times.

So interesting! A fashion model turned porn star compares the two industries. (The video itself is safe for work, but you might feel a little bit weird frequenting a website called 'fleshbot')

10 Ways To Get Fit On A Tiny Budget

To My Wife = Cute. To My Husband = keeping it real (and funny and sweet)

If you need a gorgeously laid out website with 52 great ideas to help you keep your "Be Healthy" resolution, here it is!

Hmmm. What's It Like To Be Mrs. Hugh Hefner?

I wish we were all better (and more comfortable with) talking about money. 20 Personal Money Practices That Got Me To A Place of Grooving Prosperity

Advice for an over-working, under-funning 25 year old.

How did I miss this? An old post on Jezebel about envy-inducing bloggers who seem to live dream lives. Thoughts?

Inspiring! How I Quit My Day Job - from (now) pro-blogger and web designer Kyla Roma.

Share your favorite links in the comments!

Snowman In The Desert!

Growing up in Minnesota, I can't imagine a childhood without snow (and sledding and that zip-zop noise snowpants make when you run and eating fresh snow). An older sister in Bahrain felt the same way, so she wrote to Panasonic (who apparently has a new insulation system) and asked them to ship a snowman to her hometown so her brother could check out some of the white fluffy stuff.

Annnnnd, cuteness ensues.

Notes From The Road: Life In A Refugee Camp

Friends, I would be lying if I told you that I was 100% confident about spending time at a refugee camp. When I decided to visit the Timai refugee camp in eastern Nepal, I was haunted by visions of starving, sad-faced kiddos and a crowd chasing down one, harassed chicken with sharpened sticks.

And maybe a little bit concerned about how one showers or uses the bathroom in a refugee camp, in one of the poorest countries in Asia.

The politics and history surrounding refugees is rarely straight forward and the Bhutanese/Nepali refugee situation is particularly complex because most of these refugees are actually ethnically Nepali. About two hundred years ago, Bhutan invited Nepalis to settle in the southern part of Bhutan, a swampy, malaria-infested area. In the 1990s, new citizenship laws were implemented and the Nepalis who had been settled in Bhutan for generations were sent back to Nepal. Their homes were bulldozed, families were imprisoned, those who argued disappeared.

For the last 18 years, the Bhutanese/Nepalis have been refugees within Nepal. They are given the options of repatriating in Nepal, attempting Bhutanese citizenship or resettling (again) in a third country. And in the greater scheme of "refugee-ism" the Bhutanese/Nepalis are quite "lucky" - they receive an English-medium education, they're respected within their communities, their camps are (relatively) safe and they're free to take jobs and live anywhere they want.

But many of them choose to stay in the camps, preparing to relocate in a yet another country. Many of them end up in St. Paul, Minnesota in my classroom. In fact, one of the reasons I wanted to visit Timai was to meet my student's families.

It was absolutely mind-blowing to duck into a thatched bamboo hut and see an older version of my student's face staring back at me. Purna's entire extended family crowded into his mom's hut, all the better to take photos and eat sweet sticky rice. Of Purna's 20 relatives that I met, 12 of them are heading to St. Paul, Minnesota in February. So I obviously spent twenty minutes expressing shock over this and acting out how I'd freak out over seeing them on the street in St. Paul. They nodded sagely at this and admitted that yep, that'd be weird.

I spent the rest of my time at the camp leading orientations, teaching mini English classes, talking to people about which jobs they could get with their current training and addressing concerns like "American women are so tall! How am I ever going to find a wife there?! Everyone will think I'm a dwarf, right?"

I had a fantastic time meeting new people, talking to them about their lives and doing my little part to make the transition to their new lives easier.


And those showers I was so worried about? They were buckets. Which I can totally do!

Have you ever stayed some placed really, really rustic? Once I slept in a Bolivian barn on a bed made of sticks - but that was a one-night gig!

Got the travelbug?  Check out my ebooks and podcasts on making longterm travel a reality!  Only $15 forpetessake!

January Network of Nice Hook-ups!

Friends! It's that time again - time to share you expertise, lend an ear, meet a new friend or show someone around your city. Or even partake in someone's offered expertise/ear/friendship/city! Here's how it works:
1) read through the following hook-up requests
2) email anybody that you can help out
3) bask in your improved karma

Gogogo!

I need a hook up!

I need to know about printing large-scale photos
I'm looking for help on printing large-scale photographs. I've tried going to Kinko's but the coloration and quality is never quite right, especially when I'm hoping to give them as gifts and sell them on Etsy. Does anyone have suggestions for other places to go or services to try?
ajunedent (at) gmail.com

I'm looking to connect with people who work in costume in the USA
I'm Australian and I just finished my 3 year degree in costume making. I've studied all areas of costume making and management for theatre, film and television. As the final part of my degree I was offered an internship on a big American film. I was completely stoked. So I saved all my pennies and budgeted my little heart out to come over to the States and now internship has fallen through. Of course it's a shame but I know there must be heaps of other fantastic opportunities waiting for me. So I'm wondering if there's any Yes and Yes readers who work in film or costume and could point me in the direction of another 4-6 week internship in a costume department. I'll be in the US from Dec 2010-Feb 2011 and I'm happy to travel anywhere.
madebybeth (at) gmail.com

I need to know about studying in New Zealand as a Foreign Student
I'm a senior in high school in the US who is applying to universities in New Zealand (specifically, U of Auckland and U of Otago.) I was wondering if anyone had any information on going to school in New Zealand as a foreign student (not just study abroad) and what the general culture of either Auckland or Dunedin is like.
alice.wolff.2011 (at) gmail.com

I would like to connect with a reputable psychic, or astrologist ...
who can give me a comprehensive chart reading. My desire is to find someone who is genuinely caring, sincere and not just out for profit. I am at a point in my life where a little extra guidance and insight is definitely welcome :) There' are so many options out there to choose from and I just thought it made sense to reach out here on a blog I love!
keyawin (at) hotmail.com

I need friends who can talk about being a queer woman
Friends anywhere in the world who want to talk (online or rl if London-based) about being a queer woman - the physical side of it (clothing, binding, packing etc) as well as the emotional/mental side of it, and how the two interact for you.
zorox86 (at) googlemail.com

I need to know about pilates licensure
I would love to hear about someone’s experience teaching Pilates/process of getting certified as an instructor. It’s a practice I’ve really fallen in love with and I am interested in hearing how others have moved to the next level.
jenna.v.gray (at) gmail.com

I'd like to meet new people in the Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas area
My interests include, but are not limited to: reading, sewing, knitting, exploring, enjoying a great meal or drinks with new people, music, movies, Spanish (my second language) speaking culture, yoga, working out, running, and the arts. I would love to start a book club, find new music artists to follow, have a knitting circle or any other fun ways to hang out with new people.
jessicamonzo (at) yahoo.com

I'd like to meet people in the Denver Metro area
My interests include photography, wine, going to dinner, dinner parties, cooking, knitting, crocheting and drinking coffee.
fotobellaphotography (at) gmail.com

I can give you a hook up!

I can provide interesting conversation about issues of sexuality and gender - and multiple others.
Basically I am committed to humanism, feminism, anti-racism - equality for all people - and I love to talk about those things. If you're in need of buoying up, a shoulder to lean on or an ear to rant into - email me!
zorox86 (at) googlemail.com

I can tell you about teaching in South Korea
I taught children ages three to thirteen in Seoul last winter, and can give advice to others considering working there.
ajunedent (at) gmail.com

I can give advice about relocating to Boston or Austin,Texas.
jenna.v.gray (at) gmail.com

Let the hook ups and helping out begin!

You Are Brilliant, The Earth Is Hiring

There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn't bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: you are brilliant, and the earth is hiring. The earth couldn't afford to send any recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here's the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don't be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.

- Paul Hawken
via Yum & Yuk

How To Recover Your Blogging Mojo

This guest post comes to us via the gorgeous and talented Corinne of Frock and Roll fame. Pop over to her blog for inspiring posts an career, love and living you life with style.

It all happens so suddenly, so strangely; one minute you're posting away lovingly, filling the pages of your blog with pretty words and nurturing it with the kind of adoration and affection usually bestowed upon your beloved, and then bam! As if from nowhere, invisible mojo-thieving pixies seemingly stop by and abduct your inspiration in the night. You curse, you shake your fist, but alas, your writing inspiration? It's GONE! Well, temporarily, anyway.

Don't despair! Don't give up hope yet! There IS a solution! (And no, it's not some kind of magical fly spray equivalent for pixies, although, word on the street is that one is being developed. Shh! You heard it here first.)

Here's four common ''help, I've lost my blogging mojo!'' type afflictions, and exactly how to cure them:

Affliction #1: ''I Just Can't Be Assed!''-itis

The Symptoms: Tiredness, feelings of mild resentment towards blogging/computers in general, guilt, and the increasing urge to spend copious amounts of time watching Gossip Girl/shopping/doing anything that's not even the closet bit related to blogging.
The Prescription: Watch Gossip Girl! GO shopping! Take a break from all things website-y and allow yourself to do so without feeling like the worst person in the world, because you're NOT! ''I just can't be assed!''-itis strikes all of us down at some point, and the only sanity-saving solution is to decide to step away from the computer, and return to it when you're feeling refreshed and motivated to write again. (And you will!)

Affliction #2: 'I Don't Know What To Write About'' Syndrome

The Symptoms: Empty pages. Lack of content.
The Prescription: Get back in touch with your original reasons for starting your blog:what are your interests? What excites you? Donatella Versace's tan? Monkeys who cando The Hustle? What haven't you investigated, discussed or tried?

Still running empty? Ask for ideas! Ask your readers which topics they'd like you to cover, ask your friends what they think would make for an interesting piece, ask your siblings, your parents, your teachers or even the person you buy your coffee from in the morning!

Affliction #3: The ''I Know What I Want To Write About, But Do You Think That I Can Manage To Get The Words Out Today? Ha! And Also, NO!'' Infection

The Symptoms: A sequence of events: head. Desk. BANG.
The Prescription: I know, I know. The words are on the tip of your tongue but, very rudely, they're refusing to come out. Those devils! The treatment? It's very similar to that of affliction #1: take a break! Have a shower, clean your bedroom, put together aninspiration board - anything - and just let the ideas and words come to you organically. (Keep a notepad nearby so that you can easily scribble them down as they do!)

Real Life Example: In the past, I've struggled to nut out an article because despite a flurry of sentences buzzing around in my mind, they just couldn't seem to present themselves when I attempted to type them. So, I've sat. And then looked out the window. And then continued sitting. And then tried to type out another sentence. And sat some more. And then opened up Twitter. After another hour or so of this, I closed down my computer in a frustrated huff, and decided to rearrange my wardrobe because hey, at least that way, SOMETHING would get done! It worked: within half an hour of sorting, not only were my dressed all neat and tidy and exactly where they were supposed to be (on their hangers, and definitely not in a heap on the floor!), in that time, I'd managed to mentally prepare everything that I needed to say. Score!

Affliction #4: The ''Why Bother When Nobody's Reading It Anyway?!'' Cough

The Symptoms: Tumbleweeds.
The Prescription: If you blog, it's inevitable that you'll experience wild thrills (particularly when you're first starting out!) in the web statistics theme park: there will be days where it will feel as though the only person reading your work is the cat beside you and others where it seems as though the entire suburb and all of its neighbouring areas are reading it - it happens, and at worst it can be deflating and at best exhilirating!

If you're not feeling the commenting or visitor love, ask yourself the following questions: have you told anyone that you know about your project? Are you leaving comments on other websites to gain some new readers? (It works! Most of the websites I frequent today are run by people who have left a comment here at some stage or another, leading me to stumble across their pages and fall madly in love!) Do you seek out new people to follow on Twitter? What have you done to increase the chance that somebody will find you today?

Tell us! Have you ever lost your blogging mojo? What do you do when those productivity-stealing pixies drop by?

True Story: I Gave My Baby Up For Adoption

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things. This is the story of Christine and the baby that she put up for adoption. Please note, this is not a commentary on women who chose to terminate a pregnancy or keep a child and raise it on their own. It is simply the path that Christine chose based on her beliefs. Please keep all comments respectful.

Could you tell us what your life was like at the time you got pregnant?
I was 18 when I got pregnant. I was barely into college, I was holding down an internship, and had a million hopes and dreams for myself.

What was your relationship with the baby's father?
I was dating the baby's father.

Why did you choose to give the baby up for adoption rather than terminate the pregnancy or keep it?
I knew for sure that I did not want to terminate the pregnancy out of respect for this little person inside me. I needed to consider that life as I was making decisions for my own life. I did consider keeping the baby, but the more and more I thought about what I wanted to provide the baby with, the more I realized I just didn't have access to the right resources. I was a college student scraping by and still had a lot of growing up to do emotionally.

How did the people in your life respond to your decision?
I'm not sure. Now, nearly 10 years later, I realize my choice really affected them. My mom suggested adoption. My parents are divorced and my dad offered to raise the baby for me and you can imagine how hurt he was when I decided on adoption. I'm still not sure how it affected my brother, step-mom, or step-dad. Looking back, I don't think it's what the baby's father wanted, but neither of us were in a position to be responsible for a baby. The baby's father and I have been able to stay in contact all these years and thankfully he was supportive during that time.

Can you tell us about the process of finding an adoption agency?
My mom is the one that actually put the number of the agency in my hand. I was terrified, but called and learned about the agency, the process, and about a family that might be a good match for me. The more I heard about the family and how close we were in terms of hobbies, skills, and background the more comfortable I got. I also felt a good connection with the agency staff. They were caring, genuine -- I felt like they were people I would like to have a long term relationship with.

Did you hold the baby or interact with it all after you gave birth?
Yes. Although, not at first. The whole experience of giving birth took a lot of energy and I just remember sleeping a LOT after I heard the baby was safe and healthy. The next day I spent some time with him. I remember him being wheeled into my room in a baby cart. He was all swaddled up with a cap on. I could only see his little face and the poor thing was crying. I put one finger gently near his cheek and said it was okay, we would always be close. And he stopped crying. I will never forget that. That will be our moment forever. I also held him when I was saying good bye. Holding him felt awkward, but I wanted to be able to tell him that I loved him and hug and kiss him so that he would know how much I loved him.

How did you feel when you said goodbye to the baby?
Heartbroken. It's overwhelming to spend so much time with someone, even if you can't see him, and then walk away from a place knowing you are leaving him behind. But, in my heart I knew he was in amazing care and going to a place where he could be so happy. A place where he would have everything he could possibly want. A place where he would have two loving dedicated parents. I asked for a sign that morning that I was doing the right thing. It was late November, and the sign came in the form of gigantic lazy snowflakes. That brought me a lot of peace in my decision.

Do you have any contact with the child or the adoptive parents?
Yes, we all decided on an open adoption which means I get scheduled updates in the form of letters and pictures of how this amazing little boy is. Having contact has helped me worry less about how he is. I also can send letters and pictures of me to the agency and they send them on to the family.

Do you even second guess your decision? How often do you think about your son?
I don't think I ever second guessed my decision. I do wonder how things would be different, but know my decision was right. When I was deciding, my first concern was how could I provide basic needs (food, shelter, safety), guidance, affection, and still find energy and resources to make growing up fun. I knew I couldn't do it to the quality I wanted to. I grew up with one parent and didn't want that life for my son. Even more than that I wanted him to have the chance for a brother or sister and knew in my heart that I couldn't give him that either. How often do I think of him? All. the. time. Somehow, he is still a part of me, and I don't think you can turn those kinds of thoughts off.

Do you have children of your own now? Are you interested in having more children?
I don't have any other children, just a dog for now. For the longest time I didn't think I would want a family of my own. However, when I met my husband that changed. I can see us being good and fair parents and I look forward to the opportunity to start our family.

How would you feel if your son found you? How would you explain your choice to him?
It would be beyond joy for me to see my son again. It would probably be nerve-wrecking too. I really do look forward to the day that I can give him a big squeeze and tell him I love him. And yes, I would be open to trying to explain my choice to him. In fact, I will really try to answer any questions he may have.

What advice would you give to someone who is considering giving a baby up for adoption?
If you are considering adoption, then try to think of what to do in terms of what you want for your baby. Also, when you are meeting the agency and potential parents listen to your gut. You should feel pretty comfortable with the people you are interacting with since they become a part of your extended family in a way. Take the agency up on their offer for counseling. It was so valuable to talk through my thoughts, concerns and decision with someone who wasn't emotionally invested into what was going on.

Lastly, it is natural to think and re-think your decision; what helped me was to try and focus on what was best for my son. I knew my heartache and sadness would be a temporary thing, but his happiness is everything to me!

Thanks so much for sharing Christine! Do you guys have any questions for her?

A Mission of Patience, Peace and Papercuts

Sandy over at 1000 Paper Cranes is on a mission to fold 1,000 cranes, write positive words on them and leave them in public places for people to find.

Isn't that lovely?

What You Are

Gandhi's Top Ten

How lovely is this poster? And if you're keen for some inspiration, you can download it for free and print out 8 million copies to plaster your campus/neighborhood/office with!

International Gender Bending

As I'm living out of a backpack these days, I frequently find myself appearing in public in a less than desirable state: faded harem pants, no makeup and slightly dirty hair. And since I'm toddling around Thailand in this harried states, it's hard not to to be intimidated by the overwhelming hotness of Thai ladies. Those giant eyes! That shiny hair! Those tiny limbs!

And sometimes the Thai ladies that are so much cuter than me? They're not even really ladies.

You've probably heard about Thai "lady boys" - commonly held to be "the most convincing drag queens on the planet." But it's not nearly that cut and dry; in Thai culture Kathoey (that's the Thai word used for these gorgeous creatures) are actually a third gender.

Whaaaat? Yes.

A lot of cultures outside the western world actually accept the idea that gender is a social construct and that, sometimes, a person can't be stuffed into the cubbyhole of "male" or "female"

Thailand - Kathoey ("Ladyboys")

There are famous Kathoey singers, actresses and models and foreigners (myself very much included) flock to Kathoey cabaret shows. Men who date Kathoey aren't considered gay, though marriage between a Kathoey and a man isn't allowed, since Kathoey are legally considered to be male and gay marriage isn't legal in Thailand.

Samoa - Fa'afafine

If a Samoan parent recognizes effeminate traits in their young son, they'll raise the child as a girl - a Fa'afafine. Fa'afafines are considered to be a third gender, totally separate from men and women. They are known for their hard work and devotion to family. They can marry and date both men and women.

Afghanistan - Bacha Posh

In families with no sons, one daughter is occasionally dressed and treated as a boy. When acting as a boy, it's easier for the Bacha Posh to attend school, escort her sisters in public places and find work. However, once she enters puberty, the Bacha Posh is usually expected to return to female life. Bacha Poshes frequently find it difficult to readjust to constraints of traditional life as a woman.

India - Hijra

Hijras aren't easy to define by Western gender standards - some see themselves as a third gender, some as women, some as feminine males. Unlike Ladyboys, Hijra aren't usually concerned with "passing" as women. Men who date Hijras aren't consider gay, though these relationships are usually secret.

What do you think - is gender a social construct? How traditionally 'feminine' (or 'masculine') are you? I've got some traditionally masculine qualities (I'm decisive, gutsy, not incredibly emotional) and some traditionally feminine traits (I love pretty things, I'm quite intuitive and I love to dress my cat in vests)