True Story: I Got A Breast Reduction

i got breast reduction

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things.  This is the story of Cassie and her breast reduction surgery.

Tell us a bit about yourself!
I’m twenty-nine years old and am from Vancouver, Washington, just a bridge away from Portland, Oregon.  I’m a stay-at-home mom to a five and three-year-old, a blogger and I create paper goods for my Etsy shop, Between the Lines.This last spring, we moved into our new {old} home on five evergreen-lined acres.  We’re enjoying fixing up our place, tending to our crazy Lab puppy, Jet, and two horses.  Other things that make me happy are books, leaves, lemon-flavored treats, painted nails, coffee and cowboy boots.

What’s the back story of your breasts?
In about the fourth grade, I can remember my Mom taking me to TJ Maxx to look for bras.  My older sister (who had average-sized boobs) and her friend were with us and I was mortified.  I must have blocked out the rest of the memory, because I can’t remember much after the walk from the parking lot.

In elementary school, there were very few kids who had a chest like me.  One of my friends was also large-chested and kids called her “Dolly” behind her back.  I never heard if they had a nickname for me, because they didn’t say it to my face, but I was sure if they did her, the same went for me.  Over the years, I struggled to love my body, and that was hard for me since, as women, I believe we should.

Was there a specific moment when you realized that you wanted to get them reduced?
By my senior year in college, I had had enough of my boobs.  I remember laying out with a group of girlfriends at the park, each of them wearing their flattering bikinis and me laying self-consciously on my towel, hardly enjoying the simple activity of sun-tanning.  Later that month, I was at Victoria’s Secret and got measured by two (!) bra specialists.  I was so embarrassed and wanted to cry when they told me they didn’t carry my size.

In denial, I settled for a cute magenta bra in the wrong size.  I was fed up with feeling self-conscious, having trouble finding clothes that fit in the bust but were too large in the shoulders, and having intense back pain during my menstrual cycle.  For a long time, I thought if I could lose some weight, it might reduce my breast size, but even hitting the stair master and bike rigorously didn’t trim down the size of my boobs.

Even at my fittest, my breasts were still a DD, which was huge for my petite frame and for being just 5’2.

Can you tell us about the process of choosing a doctor/facility to get your surgery?
Because I had health insurance with a company who has various offices in the metro area, I didn’t have to look too far for a breast-reduction
cosmetic surgery specialist.  I talked to my family doctor about being a possible candidate for breast reduction surgery, who then referred me to plastic surgeon who specialized in breast reduction.

After my visit with the plastic surgeon, I had to attend a four-hour informational training where the doctor’s assistant talked about the procedure, recovery process and the possible complications that can take place during the surgery.

Possible risks of breast-reduction surgery include: severance in the milk-gland region, which can effect a future mother’s milk supply, the possibility that the breasts don’t turn out the exact same size, loss of feeling in the nipple, and worse-case scenario, tissue in the areas which have been cut, i.e. around the nipple, can become infected and potentially die, requiring further cosmetic surgery.

The nurse also warned that if the surgery is completed prior to having children or before menopause, there is a chance that the breasts may return to their original state with the fluctuation in hormones.  But the thought of having my original breasts through pregnancy scared me.  If they were already a size F, I couldn’t imagine their size during engorgement–or the pain!  I was willing to put my chance of breast-feeding on the line, for my health and comfort.

Was your surgery covered by your health insurance?
My insurance covered each of my appointments, the entire breast reduction procedure, including my hospital recovery time and post-op
appointments.

Because of my small frame, the doctor felt that my large breasts had the potential of harming my body.  Continuous back pain and permanent bra-strap indentation was a couple of his concerns.  He also said that my breasts hung lower than normal for someone my age.  Since heavy breasts usually sag, I underwent breast-reduction surgery and was given a breast lift as well.

What happens during a breast reduction surgery?
On the day of my surgery, I showed up on an empty stomach and the surgeon marked my breasts up with a black sharpie.  Then I was put under sedation.  The procedure that the doctors used is called Reduction Mammoplasty.

The doctor made a vertical incision from the aureola down to the underneath side of the breast and removed excess skin and tissue to reshape the breasts.  Removing excess skin from the bottom of the breast also helps lift the breasts as well.  Since the aureola’s size is dependent on the breast size, the doctor cut down the size of the aureola to fit the size of my new breasts.  In my case, one pound of tissue was removed from each breast!

He then stitched the lines of incisions at the bottom of my breasts as well as around the nipple, taped the incisions, inserted small drainage tubes for blood and fluid release, and wrapped my incisions in gauze and an elastic bandage.  The entire procedure lasted 3.5-4 hours, and the removed tissue was sent off to be tested for cancerous cells.

How long did it take you to recover from your surgery?
I spent the next week wrapped in gauze, keeping up on my pain meds and icing my breasts.  I couldn’t lift much of anything or raise my elbows above my head.

After the first week, the nurse removed my stitches and the drain tubes and exclaimed that my new breasts were a job well done!  And there was hardly any bruising because of how often I had iced them.  The tape around the incisions remained and I wore a sports bra for the next two weeks.  By week three, I was able to begin low-impact exercise.

How have the people in your life reacted to your new breasts?
After graduating college, and shortly before my surgery, I ran into my soon-to-be Husband in downtown Portland.  I was as busty as ever, and according to him he was like “yeah!”

The only problem for him was that I was due to have surgery in a week and he didn’t know it.  After my surgery, we went on our first date.  I wore a camisole without a bra (a new thing), but in the evening, put my sports bra back on for extra support.  I was a little worried that my sports bra straps might show in the shirt that I was wearing, so I went ahead and told him that I’d just had surgery.  He was so nice and gave me an empathetic hug.  Later he told me he was confused about the sudden change in my breasts, but he’s assured me he finds me attractive in the same!

My sisters and my girlfriends were so kind, supportive and complimentary.

How is your life different now?  Do you ever miss your ‘old’ breasts?
Shortly after I had the surgery, I took up running.  Becoming a runner has been one of the most freeing and invigorating activities in my life, and when I was a F, running wasn’t an option. The last thing I wanted was for my boobs to be causing a scene as they hit my elbows with each stride.

Since my surgery, I’ve run two half-marathons and have found a new level of full-body exercise through running that I hadn’t experienced before.  Especially after having had two children, I’m even more grateful for my ability to run and do so comfortably.  Although, my breast size seems to have shrunk since having my kids, I’m satisfied. And my clothes fit!

What advice would you give to anyone else considering breast reduction?
Aches, pains and low confidence due to extremely large breasts is not fun.  If your breasts are limiting your activity and comfort, talk to your doctor to learn more about breast reduction surgery and to see if it might be a good option for you.

Has anybody else had (or considered) breast reduction surgery?  Any questions for Cassie?

P.S. True Story: I had my breast implants removed

photo credit Yaoqi LAI // cc

43 Comments

Kate

Thanks you for doing this! I have been thinking about getting a breast reduction for years, and your story really helped. I appreciate it!

Kate
idreamloudly.com

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Little redhead

It's nice to hear a story from the other side of it as well. I myself have only a A-cup and it's bothered me throughout my teenage years seeing so many busty girls around. I've learned to accept them, but stories like this make me realise I haven't got it too bad with these little ones. Glad to hear it worked out so well for you!

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Eternal*Voyageur (Venusian*Glow)

This is an interesting story, thanks so much for sharing! However, it would be great if you would let us know your underbust (band) measurements as well — without it the letter F or DD or A doesn't mean much. I mean, a 28F is way smaller than a 38F.
Interestingly, Victoria's Secret doesn't carry my size either, though I'm small-chested (I'm a 28DD, that would be equivalent to a 32C and a 34B). Their smallest band would go twice around my ribcage.

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cupsandmeasures

I can relate about the frustration trying to find bras. But it's so sad to hear that it gets to the point that you're willing to surgically alter your body because a store doesn't carry your correct size. Big bummer. I think a lot of it is North America's total lack of education on bra sizing. DD is not really big (as Eternal Voyageur mentioned) and it's more about the band size (we often wear them too loose). Anywho, I rant about it on my blog.
BTW, I got a professional bra-fitting and found out I fit best into a 32E or 30F… so I'm speaking from experience.

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Kelsey

She did not resort to surgery because Victoria's Secret did not carry her size, she resorted to surgery because she was in so much pain and discomfort. VS bras are made cheaply anyways, even A cups should invest in professional fitted bras.

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Anonymous

I'll speak from experience too … I'm wearing a well-made and expensive European 30F bra right this moment, and it HURTS.

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April in Autumn

I'm a 36GG. Luckily I don't have back problems. The best thing I've found is to get the right sized bra. I order through Bravissimo out of the UK. They're more expensive than normal stores, but so worth it. I almost cried when I found a bathing suit in my size. I no longer have to wear a cover up to the beach! And a good bra makes you look thinner, too.

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Lexi

Thank you so much for sharing your story, Cassie. I have wanted to get my breast reduced for a long time. I have size G breasts on a 5"4 frame. I have never heard someone speak so openly and frankly about the process. Thank you so much for providing that for me. It has definitely led me to wanting to pursue breast reduction surgery again.

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Anonymous

I am a 32 HH and I really love my breasts, I appreciate if you have pain and other problems but the social pressure to reduce breast size really bothers me. I remember at 16 a woman suggesting to me in a grocery store that I reduce my chest I said flat ou to her why not increase yours?! It makes me really angry that as women we are not more accepting of all sizes no one would dare tell a smalle chested woman to increase, in fact most people would compliment her and encourage her to love her form. Women like me get attacked, I have been brought to ears myself by women threaened by my chest. We should make more effort as women to love and appreciate our peers not matter what their chest size, as any big chested woman will tell you we arent getting different treatment than other women with great legs, lips, hair etc etc etc we are all beauiful!

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Anonymous

Cassie, thanks for sharing this! I am a 30J/28K myself (yes, 28K, that's not a typo) and I can really relate to your story. I have been thinking about getting a breast reduction myself, but I guess I am scared of the possible complications. One thing I would be very curious to know more about is how it has changed your self-image. However much I hate the sagging and the back pain and everything else, I also believe having big breasts has shaped my self-image and sexuality. I would be curious to know how this would change by getting a reduction. Anyway, thanks again for sharing and it's great to hear such a positive story! Best wishes from Holland, Maan (www.ikbenmaan.com)

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Samarkand

I'll be having a reduction in less than a month and I'm a US 30G and 5,2. It's free since I live in Norway and I really look forward to getting rid of the back pain.

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Anonymous

when i was in college the salesgirls at victoria's secret fitted me improperly and convinced me to buy an ugly 40d bra. i looked ridiculous! finally a friend gave me a bra intervention. i got fitted at a lane bryant and they told me i was a 38DD. they made me try on every bra in the store in two sizes to see which bras fit me best. i'm way less self-conscious now and all it took was a simple fitting! -allie

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Anonymous

As a gal with 34GG breasts, I'm always interested in hearing stories of women with similar issues. I've considered getting a reduction off-and-on since I was a 16-year old with DDs (in my improperly-fitted bra, so I was probably actually an F then).

I'm glad to hear yours turned out well, as there are some horror stories out there. And I hear you on the running thing, I occasionally run but it is so uncomfortable!

I am wondering if you attempted breastfeeding your kiddos, and if so, how did that go? My biggest debate now is before-or-after kids, since I'm 28 and my husband and I want to start trying in about a year.

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LyddieGal

I can definitely emphasize with Cassie's situation – being 5'2" with DD breasts finding bras and learning how to dress in ways that make me feel good and keep the attention off the girls has been a struggle.

I've never seriously considered surgery, and I doubt that I would – all of the potential side effects frighten me too much.

But I'm glad that it was the right decision, and things all went really well.

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Roxanne

Yeek. Thanks so much for this. I too am 5'2, and my breast size is a 30HH/I. I have seriously considered getting a reduction in the past (and am certainly not discounting it yet!), but I've managed to get a lot of mileage out of super-expensive larger-cup bras by companies like Freya and Fantasie. I'm lucky enough that my city even has "cup-sized" bikini sets so that I am now able to own a cute, supportive bikini that fits my smallish frame and hugeish tatas.

That said, the back pain? It sucks. The boobs that throw you off balance when you run or even descend a flight of stairs? Super shitty. *Always* having to wear a bra? Ugh.

I've made my peace with them for now, but I'm definitely not closing any doors for a reduction in the future. Thanks for your story!

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Cassie

Eternal Voyageur–I wear a 32-34 depending on the bra.

To the anonymous post asking about whether or not I breast fed my kids:
Yes. With my daughter, I nursed her just three weeks. I nursed my son about four months. Both times, nursing was a lot of stress, since both the doctors and I were concerned about whether or not the babies were receiving enough milk. At each feeding, I nursed on both sides AND pumped afterward–to help stimulate more milk production. I never did have an overabundance or extra milk supply stocking up in the freezer. With my second, who I nursed for four months, I decided to quit nursing and go to the bottle when he was still wanting to eat every 2.5 hours. It became clear to me that he wasn't getting enough. My production could have varied for a handful of reasons, but I attribute most of it to the fact that I had the reduction. Some women who have had a reduction are not able to nurse at all, so I was grateful for the time that I could, even though it was quite stressful at times.

Thanks for all your comments, questions and support!

Cassie

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Caroline Cesaitis

I thank you for your story.I am a small framed 5'1 & had 32 DD before getting pregnant four years ago.
I had not thought of surgery even though I experienced straps digging in, trouble getting clothes to fit right, etc.
But the turning point for me was my pregnancy. I got so large that I have major back & neck pain. I went up to a 34 I & that was before my milk came in! I never went back down to my normal size either, I have stayed at a 32 F or G.
I recently was pregnant again but lost the baby early. However my breasts increased at a more alarming rate than the first pregnancy. So I am questioning get a reduction now or after I'm done with children….I don't know that I can take the pain & when I'm so small with these huge breasts it is hard to have maternity clothing fit also.
So I'm wondering did you experience a lot of size change when you were pregnant? I'm not able to breastfeed so that isn't an issue….. I just don't want to have the surgery just to have it all undone by another pregnancy… Thanks

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Anonymous

Hi Cassie, I am scheduled to have my breast reduction on 07/22/14. I am 5'1 and I wear a 48DDD. I too have been struggling with whether or not I should get a breast reduction. I always said I would never but 20 years later I realize this surgery is very much needed. Thanks for sharing your story!!

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Goerge

The best thing I've found is to get the right sized bra. I order through Bravissimo out of the UK. They're more expensive than normal stores, but so worth it. I almost cried when I found a bathing suit in my size.Bromfenac I no longer have to wear a cover up to the beach! And a good bra makes you look thinner, too.

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Anonymous

I started development at an early age as well, I believe I was in 3rd or 4th grade. Now I am 22 and a DD. I also hate running because I feel like I have to duck tape them down so I'm not getting black eyes! But for now I love my breast. My mom tells me all the time her horror story after having my brother and I. Her breasts grew while pregnant but never went back down. She ended up having a reduction after having us and she said it was the best decision she ever made! I know I will probably be in the same boat some day, but for right now I'm going to love what I've been given! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story!

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Anonymous

I had a 24 ddd in second grade. As you can imagine school has been fun… I am now in six grade I am 5`5" 110lbs and a 30 ddd. I have a backwards arch in my neck and haven't ever gone a day without pain. I haven't been swimming since before Kindergarten. OK feel your pain. Also I have to wait for a long time to get a reduction. I am glad to know there is hope. I go mountain biking and running because I have a $200 bra that works. But before I never got off my couch

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Anonymous

With intense exercise for 1.5 years and a 35 lb. weight loss, I really did go from 36-D to 34-B (saggy breasts but they were A LOT smaller).

I am 47 now and the above happened a long time ago.

17 years ago, I was fed-up with my boobs which were 36-D (yes, I know they can be a lot bigger! but they seemed huge to me!). 5'5'', I weighed about 170 lbs. Went to several doctors about a reduction and they all emphasized loss of feeling in nipples, perhaps would not be able to breastfeed, both of which were important to me. All 3 doctors insisted that weight-loss would have little effect on the size of my breasts.

Maybe it was because I was hitting thirty, tired of being over-weight, but I went on an exercise craze that lasted 7 years. In the first 1.5 years, I got down to 135 lbs through diet (gave up ALL sugar) and tons of exercise (high-intensity steps, stretch classes, weights 3-5x week and a little yoga) and went from a size 36-D to a 34-B (still save one of these sexy, yes sexy! bras from Marks&Spencers) all this despite what the doctors had told me.

People who had not seen me in years could not believe my transformation and many asked if I had had "a boob-job" which I hadn't. For myriad personal reasons, I stopped exercising but more or less kept my same-self for a number of years. Fast-forward 17 years later and I am now 175 lbs and a 38-D (almost need a DD). My "old-self" and my own fault.

BUT, what I want to say is that through diet and exercise I REALLY, REALLY did reduce my boobs contrary to what all of these doctors had told me (and still say).

They (the 34-B) boobs sagged though, big-time, but with a good bra, they looked good in clothes. AND, I didn't have back pain anymore. I have a small child now and so wish I could go back to the gym with the rigor I did before which I think was actually somehow key to my resulting smaller breasts (something hormonal from exercising so much, maybe?). One thing I never did get rid of though back when I was in such good form was that fat in/under my arm-pits. My boobs "wrap" around my chest. Even with small boobies, I still had that tell-tale weird fat at my arm-pits indicating, I think, someone with a tendency to have big boobs.

Now, with my weight, my again large boob-size and little exercise, my back is killing me, and I´m thinking now of just making a beeline to boob-reduction surgery which is how I ended up reading on this site.

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Anonymous

Thanks Cassie for your blog.

I've recently had a breast reduction after 20 years of E sized breasts (weight loss only ever took them to a DD). I have had so many years of back, neck and shoulder pain that at times I was unable to get out of bed. The moment I came out of the surgery the relief was instant, the lack of pain was like a miracle.

I'm shocked at some of the comments of people talking about having this surgery is due to social pressures and that finding a good bra can "fix the problem". This surgery is a highly personal choice and something not entered into lightly. The physical and emotional affects of large breasts from a young age have for me included being bullied at school and in the workplace, my spine starting to curve due to the weight (2.8kg was removed during the surgery) and not being able to find clothing that made me feel attractive or comfortable.

This surgery will change my life positively – the long term health benefits will be immeasurable.

Cheers,
Pat

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Anonymous

I am planning on breast reduction surgery after a consultation with my doctor and upon insurance approval. My sister had a reduction several years ago and loves it. Wishes she would have done it years ago. I found this article because I wanted another perspective. I've thought about it in the past but every man I ever dated talked me out of it. But now that I'm older, I've decided to do this for me. I'm a 38G cup. Yes, you can get smaller if you lose weight but even at my thinnest, a size 2/4 (on the bottom), I was a 34D. I have indentions in my shoulders from my bra straps, I'm getting constant yeast infections under my breast and I've never been able to go bra-less or even find a strapless to support me. Not to mention, neck and back pain. I think everyone has to weigh the benefits and risks and make their own decision on what will make them happy.

Thanks for the article.

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Victor Tentakelleibe

If you are feeling pain or physical discomfort sure go your doctor and get a consultation, but A-Z never let someone 'else' make you feel bad about the body God gave you. Be proud. If you are afraid of people noticing, my friend had a reduction it was a month before I thought to myself, 'did she lose weight.' We are much more conscious of ourselves than anyone else so be bold in being you. 😉

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Anonymous

I would like to find out more about having it approved by insurance. Can you share what you had to do to get insurance approval?

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Anonymous

To anonymous from 12/2/13: it depends on your insurance and plan. Some are more lax and some are more strict. My insurance would have required photos and a doctors note showing permanent bra strap indents, red marks from a bra, eczema under the breast, etc as well as at least 3 months of "alternative treatment" (physical therapy, chiropractic etc) with recorded lack of improvement. They also required a certain number of grams of tissue to be removed depending on BMI (Google the Schnur Scale). They also wanted documentation that I had tried to reduce my breast size via weight loss and documentation (MRI, X-Ray etc) showing that my back and neck pain could have no other cause. However, this is very atypically strict and my insurance is notorious for not covering BRs! I tried several times to get covered and was denied, so finally I saved up $6000 to pay for a BR out of pocket. I have no regrets!

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Anonymous

I gotten a breast reduction last year in may I thought I would be in so much pain but I wasn't I was even going places the next day I was 17 going on 18 when I had my surgery and I was at the size of a triple f and they took out seven in a half pounds and now im at a double d the pain was not as hard as I thought it was going to be I was really able to handle it

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Anonymous

I'm scheduled to get my breast reduced soon and I couldn't be happier about it but I am wondering do I have to relearn how to walk, throw a ball you know the things that you do a bit differently to accommodate the large breasts?

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Samantha Davidson

I have a size 32h GG/H .. I am 4'11 and I weight 8 stone , I have been turning to get a breast reduction on NHS for over the years , I have been refused 3 times , I get so depressed by this , I hate looking at myself in the mirror , I hate when it's lovely weather and every1 is wearing skimpy tops and there's me with baggy tops and covered up with a cardigan or waistcoat to always cover my breast , I am so self conscious of my breast , I. Hate them that much I could cut them off myself if I knew. How ,

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Anonymous

I am in my mid 60s and I consider the TWO breast reduction surgeries I had over 20 years ago the best thing I ever did. I don't wear a bra anymore, and shoulder pain is much decreased. Constant pain in shoulders and neck is no joke. Feeling self conscious all the time is not fun. My health insurance paid for me to have the surgery twice — the first time it was not aggressive enough, the surgeon was conservative out of consideration for my husband! (sexist surgeon). My wonderful husband loves me just the same as he did when we married 42 years ago and was completely supportive of both surgeries. I am thankful every day that I had the surgeries. My shoulder pain was complicated because of whiplash from a collision with a drunk driver, perhaps this was why my health insurance paid for the surgery two times.

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Catherine felix

Love this post!I recently had to under go a pretty intense bariatric surgery. The whole process leading up to the surgery was traumatic for obvious reasons. I don’t want to go into too much detail but during my surgery, my team used a FAW blanket called the Bair Hugger and it helped so much with my post surgical recovery. I credit my super quick recovery to the blanket. I was able to get back to exercising in no time. I have been able to lose the weight faster because I was able to start my exercise routine quickly after surgery. Here are some facts about the system http://www.bairhuggerfacts.com

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Tia Lawrence

I had a breast reduction at 42 yrs old, about 10yrs after having my only daughter. I had a hysterectomy after discovering I had ovarian cancer while pregnant with my daughter. I suffered from severe back problems and had a double level anterior and posterior L4-L-5 back fusion. I was exactly like you where, I couldn’t find any clothing that fit properly. I was a FF. Being only 5ft tall I suffered greatly with back issues, the inverts in my shoulders were horrendous. My surgery was performed the same way as yours, except I didn’t have the drainage tubes. I looked like I had an autopsy cut minus the incision down my stomach. I bruised horribly and where the incision from the nipple to the bottom cut around the bottom of the breast was made, that T section, it split open and I had holes the size you could put your fist through. It failed to heal on its own in a couple of weeks so I was sent to wound care. It finally healed nicely and there’s no scaring whatsoever. Although I had a rough time, it was well worth it. I had 3/12 lbs removed from the right breast and 2lbs removed from the left breast. My breasts are doing great after 4 yrs of having it done. I’m a higher C cup to D now, I look and feel great. Since I’ve lost 42lbs this last year, I’ve noticed my breasts have changed, they are smaller. I can except that because 2 of my friends have had breast reductions around the time I did and they are sagging and look like the breast reduction was never performed. I don’t see how they could let body get that bad again. I paid for my surgery, my insurance, no matter what my doctor said, refused to pay for it. I won’t let a 14,835 surgery get ruined

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Renée Bruffett

I’m a 42 H and I can honestly say that I have never really loved my self though I don’t think it has anything to do with my bra size. Though being big is a reason behind feeling self-conscious. Right now I say good job just loving you for yourself. Well done!

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Emily

I can definitely relate to this article. As teen I went from an A to D in ONE SUMMER!!! I was a size 6, 5’8″ tall with DDs. At that time I didn’t mind them except when my back hurt. I have never been below a DD since I was 15. When I got pregnant with my first born I was a DDD. My chest grew to an H through my pregnancy. I was only able to breastfeed her for 4 months due to low milk supply. I figured my boobs would go back down after they Did not. Then I got pregnant with twins. I went from an H to an N!!!!! My twins are now 3 years old and I am still in a 38N. I have lost 50 pounds in three months and still my boobs are the same size. Sometimes I cry at night because I’m in such horrible pain!!! My boobs slow me down so much. I don’t care what other people think of my chest. I’m a pretty modest person so I stay covered up the best I can but want feel better overall!!!!
My chiropractor and I have been documenting my back pain and strap indents for a while now. In about 2 years we will try for another baby and after the baby is born and I’m done breastfeeding I will get a reduction and a lift if losing more weight doesn’t help!

Keep up the marathons and enjoy life!

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