This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting, challenging amazing things. This is the story of Isobel and her total lack of kissing.
Tell us a bit about yourself!
I was born in the north of England but moved to Adelaide, Australia when I was fourteen. I’m twenty-three, and I went to drama school a few years ago, but I’m currently working in a DVD store while I save up to move back to Britain to ‘pursue the stage’! I love performing, reading, writing and sewing. I’m quite handy with a sewing machine and have a scary amount of cocktail dresses as a result.
I literally have NO romantic history. I’ve never had anything even approaching a date, never been close to kissing anyone. I’ve never been asked out, and any time that I’ve made the first move, the other person has never been interested.
I’m Christian, and I DO want to wait until I get married to have sex, but I didn’t always believe this. In fact, I came to that conclusion a couple of years after most of my girlfriends had already had their first boyfriends, so, at least at first that didn’t have anything to do with it.I honestly can’t think of a specific reason.
Naturally, over the years I’ve gone through various worries about it- Maybe I’m ugly, maybe I’m boring, maybe I always have something hanging out of my nose that I never notice… But really? None of that is true, I’m about as happy as any sane girl could ever be with the way that she looks, I make friends SO easily.
I was very shy in high school, but three years of drama school will whip that out of anyone, and now I’m outgoing, confident and becoming the person I always wanted to be when I was an insecure teen.
Mostly, I don’t mind. Now. I used to feel ashamed and embarrassed about the fact. I used to hate telling people and thought that I was going to die alone and unloved. Now, I guess I’m too used to it to worry anymore. I went to Uni in the country, a small, small campus, and everyone knew everything thing about everyone else.
I would wonder if no one was interested in me because everyone knew that I didn’t believe in pre-marital sex. And then I would wonder if that wasn’t even an issue, and it was just that no one was interested. I never worked out which I thought was worse.
They know. I don’t bring it up to people I’ve just met because it’s personal, but I am honest and open if it comes up. When I was twelve, I lied about it in a game of truth or dare, because all of the other girls playing had kissed someone and I felt like a loser, but afterward I felt ridiculous, so I swore never to do something so silly again, so now I’m just honest about it.
My close friends are all lovely and tell me that I’m going to find the right guy when the time is right, as is the way of friends. People I’m less close to are always curious and astounded. They usually think it’s really weird and want to ask tons of questions. “As if you haven’t!” Comes up a lot.
Are you actively trying to meet someone?
No. I’m not. After too long of just, nothing, working out, I’m not. In fact, I don’t think I even could, I think I’ve just gotten so tired of hoping and looking and trying that I’ve given up. It’s easier and it’s a lot less depressing. Although I realized the other day that the last time I was actually interested in anyone was four years ago. That was a bit of a thought…
What advice would you give to other ‘late bloomers’?
I guess, try not to worry about it. And don’t get insecure about stupid things. Everyone is different, Everyone’s lives are different. Don’t try to compare and don’t pressure yourself into stressing about it.
When was your first kiss? Any questions for Isobel?