My name is Maya. I’m 31 years old and I live in Cape Town, South Africa. My kink is non-sexual ageplay. My “little girl” side is 4 years old, innocent and very creative. I still have a child-like enthusiasm for beauty in the world. I’m open and honest…and try to be brave. (This IS what I do for fun and I’m not willing to talk about my career in this article for obvious reasons)
For those of us who don’t know, could you explain what ageplay is?
Ageplay or AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) as a portion of the community label themselves, is a form of role playing in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age.
Generally this can involve someone pretending to be younger than they actually are. Variations include Daddy’s girl fetishism, in which real or imagined age differences are the basis of the roleplaying and the female is portrayed as the younger partner.
The practice can be regressive, in which the goal is to re-experience childhood, or sexual, recreating a child-adult sexual relationship. Some ageplay is purely regressive; while the person is in role, nothing that wouldn’t happen with a real minor occurs. Ageplay can also be a form of BDSM in which a person pretends to be an infant, child or adolescent.
The appeal of ageplay, like other forms of submission, is in giving up responsibility, allowing oneself to be vulnerable and to give and receive affection freely. I choose to have relationships with men who play the part of my Daddy, to hold my hand when I cross the road, to open juice boxes and reach high up things. Stroke my hair at night and check under the bed. To help me do choosing and be the giver of stars for my star chart.
How did you first become interested in ageplay?
Originally I was into BDSM. The term BDSM is derived from the terms Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Domination and Submission (D&S, D/s, or Ds), Sadism and Masochism (S&M or SM). I found pure BDSM too harsh and preferred the nurturing side of being submissive. I was dating a Dominant 8 years ago and he introduced me to ageplay one evening. I was immediately hooked.
For me, and many ageplayers, I lacked the attention and nurturing I craved as a child, and had emotionally absent parents, others feel they were forced to grow up too quickly. Ageplay is a way of recreating and reenacting childhood in a safe and controlled way. Others grew up in happy, supportive, loving families. For some it’s a stress reliever, and a comfort in times of stress.
Can you tell us about the logistics behind this? Where do you do it? How do you meet other ageplayers? Where do you get your outfits?
Ageplay is a state of mind. I can switch gears fairly easy, just as a person might become shy at a big party or confident around friends, so I can switch between being little or adult. It can happen anywhere, anytime. I’m in control of it enough that I won’t switch at inappropriate times although I have been known to come home with a cart full of stickers, Hello Kitty party plates and candy when I was supposed to be buying household groceries!
Ageplay can vary greatly, from wearing adult diapers, a onsie and sleeping in an adult sized crib, to putting your hair in pigtails, collecting stickers and drinking chocolate milk from a Disney Princess cup.
Most ageplay accessories can either be bought at baby shops and adapted or bought especially at online fetish stores. There are quite a few online ageplay communities, but the most popular one seems to be a general fetish website called Fetlife. There is a community of over half a million kinky people. South Africa is very conservative and so our ageplay/ABDL community is still very new, but I spent the Summer in London and met members of their ageplay community, as well as organizing an ageplay party with my Daddy while I was there.
How much of your free time do you devote to ageplay? Has it affected other areas of your life?
It fluctuates. It depends on whether I’m stressed or have time to spare doing little activities, who I’m with. The only significant effect on my life so far is that it has made it much harder to find a romantic partner.
Have you ever had any questionable experiences?
No, accepting personal responsibility by carefully communicating your personal boundaries is always the first step when negotiating play with others. Many ageplayers and BDSM Dominants/submissives have actual negotiation forms that we give to prospective partners.
Do people in your life know that you are into ageplay?
Everyone in my life knows that I am into BDSM and ageplay except my immediate family and people at work. It’s just simply inappropriate to talk about your kinks with certain people. If I were every asked about it I would answer truthfully.
What are the biggest misconceptions about ageplay and people who take part?
The fact that ageplay has nothing at all to do with pedophilia. Ageplay is about role-play and about adults being consensual whereas pedophilia the victim has no choice.
Ageplay has nothing to do with anyone under the age of consent.
What advice would you give to someone interested in ageplay?
Join a community like fetlife or diaperspace and get to know other ageplayers. Realizing they are not alone, and discussing concerns and ageplay dynamics is often of great comfort to many people.
Do you have any (respectful!) questions for Maya?