Blogs You Should Be Reading: Checks and Spots

We've established that I can be a weird little hoarder of awesome - squirreling all sorts of cool, interesting things away in my nest, too greedy to share them with anyone. That's how I feel about Checks and Spots.

But I like you so much, I decided to share. Just this once.

I read a gajillion blogs. Lots of niche blogs - only design, only fashion, only cultural commentary. But what I really, really love (and what I'd honestly like to see more of) are blogs that cover lots of different topics and then - stop the presses! - actually write a bit about said topics. Not those blogs that just repost photos they found on Martha Stewart's website or the great photo shoot for ban.do headpieces (though I like those blogs, too). I like a blog that features a little bit of everything, plus a sprinkling of witty copy thrown in.

Checks and Spots is one of those blogs, you guys. Really interesting fashion spreads you haven't already seen all over the internet! Cool, interactive art projects! Interviews with artists! Collections of links to other great stuff!

I love it. It's smart, pretty, interesting and a little bit different. Umm, just like us, right?

Celebrity Sesame

When I was but a wee Sarah Von, my parents instituted this rule: only one hour of non-educational television per day.

From the distance of 31, I can see that this was, in fact, a great act of parenting. But at the age of seven, I was enraged that I had to choose between Scooby Doo and He-Man and Duck Tales. Outrageous! I'd show them! I'd watch educational tv until my eyes fell out! I know it's beautiful outside, Mom, but I'm going to sit in the basement watching episode after episode of Ghost Writer. So there.

As such, I may have a particularly strong affinity for Sesame Street, since I've probably seen every episode produced between 1981 and 1994. And even now when I happen upon the occasional episode I'm always entertained. Especially if some hip celebrity is stopping by to sing about numbers and letters!

What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Did you have rules about how much TV you could watch?

E! Free me!

Another Yes and Yes sponsor that falls under the heading of "Totally Awesome:" Efreeme!

Creator (and member!) Diana tells a bit more about this crazy awesome online marketplace.

I love vintage and handmade items, since they're all so unique! I had a small vintage shop on, err... somewhere else, but just resented paying those fees each month when maybe I only made one or two sales! I wanted to create a site where people could sell these sort of items for free, without any sort of fees or commissions. For starting up less than 4 months ago, efreeme has come a long way and we're getting more stores every day! If you're a seller, you should open up shop soon and secure your store name! Sellers get $5 when they list 20 items or more.

Pop over and check out efreeme's many, many great shops ... or start your own shop for free!

Interested in sponsoring Yes and Yes? Check out ad rates here!

31 Things I've Learned in 31 Years

Last month I turned 31. I'm officially in my early thirties! A million people say that your thirties are the best decade of your life, and I'm going to choose to believe them. After three decades of mistake-making, I've learned a few things. Wanna know what I know?

1. Trust your gut. Really.
If you think he likes you, you're probably right. If you think he's cheating, you're probably right. If you think she's going to be your new BFF, (this time with feeling!) you're probably right.

2. Sunscreen. Always.
SPF 15 indoors, SPF 30 outdoors. I've been wearing sunscreen everyday since I was 19 and I still get carded. I think this actually has more to do with the bouncers hitting on me, but I'd like to share the credit with my good friend Oil of Olay daily moisturizing lotion with SPF.

3. If you're lying in bed worrying about it, get up and write it down.
If I don't do this, my night will quickly devolve into cyclical thoughts of doom and anxiety. Just get out of bed, write down the thing that you're worried about, write down a few ideas to deal with it and then go the eff back to sleep.

4. Processed carbohydrates and sugars are yucky.
It's not hard to switch to wholewheat bread and noodles or substitute honey/maple syrup/raw sugar for the white stuff. It's yummy and you'll feel heaps better!

5. Maintaining friendships (and making new friends) is an active process.
Stop waiting for them to call you! Think of something fun to do, call your friends and go do it. Also, stop sitting in your apartment, devotedly wishing that you knew more cool people. Surprisingly, this will not get you any closer to making new friends. Go places where like-minded people hang out, talk to new people at parties, initiate.

6. Uncomfortable underwear can ruin your day.
At least they can ruin mine. So don't wear your sexy-times underwear on the day you have to walk ten blocks to work.

7. It really doesn't matter what you major in.
What does matter? The internships you get, your work ethic, your interpersonal skills, who you know. So go ahead and get a BA in Studio Art! As long as you compliment that with work experience at a graphic design studio, a museum and an ad agency.

8. Create an active life style.
I don't go to the gym every day. Or, um, ever in the summer. But I walk to work and to the market and just about everywhere within a 3 mile radius. If you make daily activity a habit, you won't have nearly as many moments of "how did I inadvertently gain 30 pounds?!" or "why can't I walk up a flight of stairs?!"

9. Learn to enjoy your own company
There will be times in your life when you really want to see that movie, check out that new boutique, go to Thailand and no one wants to go with you. Bummer! But that doesn't mean that you can't go by yourself and have a good time. Take baby steps and work up to doing the big stuff on your own.

10. Don't allow outside sources to determine your self-esteem
I'm still working on this one. But I think it's important to realize that just about everything in life is relative - depending on your surroundings, you could be the hottest/smartest/highest paid girl in the room. But if you walk next door? Maybe it's different story. It's important to have faith in your abilities and strong suits - regardless of how they compare to others.

11. Find out what colors and styles work (and don't work) on you. Style accordingly.
I look good in gold and browns and corals. I look good with long, wavy hair. I look good in boat-neck, three quarter length tops. It took many, many unflattering photos to figure this out.

12. When in doubt, make the effort
You will never regret wearing that nice outfit, buying the thoughtful gift for the friend you haven't heard from in a while, over-tipping. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you did your best.

13. Cook at home.
Seriously. You will save one million dollars. You will maintain a healthy weight. You will impress your friends.

14. There are 300 million people in America. And 6,000,000,000 in the world.
I promise you, you'll love someone else. You'll meet new friends. You'll find co-workers and neighbors that are awesome. If it's too hard (or if someone is making you feel bad) walk away. There are a million other people out there who won't make you feel bad!

15. It's easier to make money than memories
Are you throwing up in your mouth right now? I am, a little bit. But it's true. Don't take the extra shift at work and miss your friend's awesome end-of-the summer barbecue. If all your friends are springing for a weekend at a cabin near the Canadian border, save up for a few weeks and make it happen. You won't remember the two weeks of eating in and watching library dvds, but you'll remember 3 days of fun with your buddies.

16. You can find common ground with just about anyone, any where
Regardless of a person's gender, age, race or religion there are common denominators to the human experience - falling in love, being homesick, laughing at baby animals. You don't even need to speak the same language to share an appreciation for these things. You'd be amazed how far you can get with most people just by smiling and asking them questions.

17. Don't buy the cheapest version. Buy the second cheapest.
This trick has saved me a lot of money. And many hang overs. Usually the cheapest version of something (vodka, eye shadow, shoes) is noticeably dicey. But the second-cheapest? Not so bad!

18. Make an extra copy
Of your keys, your lease, your birth certificate, your social security card. Then give said copy to someone trust worthy.

19. Floss.
For realz. It's pretty gratifying in a slightly disgusting way.

20. Consider second hand, for just about everything
98% of everything I own is second hand. My blow dryer, my picture frames, my sheets (not as gross as you're imagining). They cost a fraction of what I'd pay for them new, and no one's the wiser. At least until I tell the internet that I sleep on used sheets.

21. Excuses are embarrassing
With the exception of excuses like "my grandma died" most excuses are embarrassing for everyone involved - the person giving them and the person listening to them. 'I just don't know where to start,' 'I'm tired,' 'it's too expensive' really just translate to 'I'm not making it a priority'. See? Embarrassing, right?

22. Don't ask a question if you're not prepared to hear the answer
If you ask your friend "Do I look fat in this?" you best be prepared to hear that it's not a super flattering look on you. If you ask that guy you've been seeing for five months "Where do you see this going?" you need to know he might respond in stutters, back-pedaling and comments about "keeping it light." Don't ask if you don't really, really want to know.

23. Engage in calculated risk taking
Dancing on the table, taking a spontaneous road trip by yourself to a neighboring state, trying a new type of ethnic food - it is unlikely that any of these things will kill you. But they will probably make you more interesting.

24. Learn how to live well within your means
Make a budget and stick to it. Pay off your credit cards every month. Learn to cook for yourself. Get a bike and use it (then you won't need a gym membership or all that gas for you car!) Cancel the cable. Split internet with a neighbor. Consider second hand. You'd be amazed how painless saving money can be!

25. Learn some basic photo editing skills

Because that photo from your vacation would make a great Facebook profile photo if you didn't have that giant zit, right? Photoscape, Picnik and Gimp are all great options!

26. If you don't know what you say, silence is always an option
I learned this from my friend Ellie, who used this approach to deal with unruly patients during her years as a nurse in NYC. If someone says something you don't like (and don't know how to respond to) just stare at them and don't say anything. Totally. terrifying. And totally effective!

27. If you don't know, ask

Because that thing that people say about assuming (it makes an ass out of you and me)? That's true.

28. Do something different with your weekends
After a week in the cubicle farm, I know it's tempting to spend your weekend watching DVDs, running errands, going to house parties and nursing hangovers. But doing the same thing every weekend gets old. And you won't return to work reinvigorated or inspired. You don't have to do anything earth shattering - have a sleep over with old friends, go camping in a State Park, rent bikes and ride through your city, try a new ethnic restaurant, look up the top tourist sights in your city and check them out. Milk those two days off for all they're worth!

29. Stay in touch
In the age of skype/facebook/texting there's absolutely no reason that you can't maintain regular contact with your childhood bestie or that cool girl from your freshman comp class. Maintaining and fostering friendships is super important. Also, you'll have more couches to crash on when you go traveling!

30. Find a creative outlet
Most of us aren't 100% creatively fulfilled by our day jobs. Even those of us who work in creative fields! Engaging different parts of your brain (and different parts of your personality) is hugely, hugely gratifying. Seriously, you cannot overestimate how having a good hobby can change your life. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that after I started blogging, I needed less sleep and was a much happier person. Truth.

31. Act like you know what you're doing
You can pretty much conquer the world with a confident walk, a well-thought-out outfit and confident demeanor. We teach people how to treat us and when you show people that you're a force to be reckoned with, they'll believe you.

Friends!  If you've popped over from Stumbleupon, may I be so bold as to recommend some of my other popular posts? 
* How To Create An Amazing Group of Friends,
* Settle The Eff Down (Or How To Avoid Psyching Yourself Out)
* The Art of Doing
* The Bad/Break Rule

Just FYI:

But you already knew that, right? Riiiiiggght?

Hipster Hate?

A friend and I were recently discussing our taste in men when she announced that she knew someone I might like - M.A. from Pratt, mutton-chops, forearm tattoo, has a noun for a middle name, wears skinny jeans. A real hipster, she said. Just the kind of guy that I would like, she said. Because I was such a hipster, she said.

What followed was one of those double-take, blinkblinkblink responses you have when someone tells you something about yourself that you are totally, 100% unaware of.

Am I a hipster? Let's examine the (circumstantial) evidence:
1) I have a liberal arts degree
2) I wear skinny-ish jeans
3) I know who Yeasayer, Phoenix, Animal Collective are.
4) I own religious paraphernalia though I am not religious
5) I know people who are in bands/play ultimate frisbee/are earning PhDs
6) I thrift. Compulsively.
7) I have dated men that weighed (almost) the same as me
8) I have a blog
9) I deny being a hipster

Am I a hipster? Does it matter if I am? Why was I so shocked and appalled when she told me that I was?

The internet is thick with hipster hate these days. Witness the blog unhappy hipsters. Or hipster puppies. Or look at this f*cking hipster. Why is it so much fun - and so socially acceptable - to hate on this particular group of people?

Because I like to believe I don't know any hipsters (or anybody that will admit to being a hipster) I had to consult everybody's favorite reference, Urban Dictionary. There are multiple entries for 'hipster' but many entries tie into the belief that hipsters are "cooler than you," overly ironic and live off their parents' money because they can't find a job with their useless arts degree.

So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that all of the above are true and that hipsters are condescending, lazy and refuse to approach anything in life with sincerity. That certainly paints an unappealing picture.

Does that make it okay for us to hate on them? And why exactly are we hating on them? Because they hated on us first for liking Ke$ha? Because they think going to the state fair is 'ironic' and we really, genuinely love it? Because they've got heaps of disposable income from crashing with the 'rents while we're just scraping by?

And when does it become socially acceptable to mock a group of people? When you are of the same race and socio economic group as them? When they've made active choices to pursue a specific lifestyle - rather than being forced into a lifestyle by poverty, etc? When this group has been given all the advantages of North American life and somehow seemed to screw it up?

I'd love to hear what you think! Is 'hipster' a dirty word? How do you feel about them? What do you think are the qualities of a hipster?

October Ad Space on Yes and Yes

this has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
but it made me choke on my morning coffee.

Friends! Do you have an online boutique, a sweet little etsy shop or a blog that people need to know about? Yes and Yes can help you get the word out. And now that holiday season is coming up? We're all loading up on gifts at our favorite online haunts, right? Yes and Yes readers are interesting, educated, incredibly attractive people. And if you'd like to talk to them, we can help.

Sponsorships are available in one, two and three month packages with pricing discounts at two and three months. Sponsors who sign up for a two month package with receive an introduction post and three month sponsors have the option of a giveaway, if they're interested. Ads are shuffled mid month, so everybody gets a chance for the top spot.

Some facts about Yes and Yes?

Daily hits: 1,800 - 2,200 a day

Page views: 100,000+ per month

Twitter followers: 1,100+

Facebook frends: 780+

Google Page Rank: 4
Google reader subscribers: 3,200 +

Email me at sarah_vonbargen (at) yahoo (dot) com for more information!
(Yes, some day I will enter the 21st century and get a blog specific email address. Let's pretend yahoo email addresses are adorably vintage, shall we?)

True Story: I Was Cast on A Reality TV Show

This is one of many True Story interviews, in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/challenging/amazing things. This is Sarah's story - of how she auditioned for (and was cast!) in a reality TV show.

Can you tell us a bit about your background?
I didn't do much theatre until I was in college. After college, I did a lot of community theatre, improv, and indie films in my town. Other than that, I don't have a huge theatre or acting background.

What was the premise for this reality show?
The reality show was like an American Idol for actors. We were supposed to be competing against each other for a role in a movie.

How did you find out about the audition?
Craigslist! (I know, right?!) I found it about two days before the actual audition. Most audition stuff on Craigslist is crap (“adult” actors are always being sought), so I was a little skeptical, but the audition was in my hometown, the requirements seemed easy enough and I decided to go.

What was the audition process like?
For me, the audition process was a blast (but then again, I'm one of those weirdos who enjoys auditions, interviews, etc.). We didn't need headshots or resumes. Instead, the Craigslist ad had given twelve movies that we were allowed to do two minute excerpts from. I looked through the movie choices and the only one I was remotely familiar with was "Basic Instinct." But—and this choice really paid off--I decided to do it my way: I memorized the famous leg-uncrossing scene, affected a hideous Southern accent, and donned my Halloween costume...which just so happened to be a "Pregnant Redneck." It’s safe to say that I was one of the only people at the audition who was in costume.

At the audition, there were probably a few hundred people there, and there was no "pre-casting" like what they do on American Idol. They lined us up, and we went in one by one and auditioned for the celebrity judges: Morgan Fairchild, Adrian Zmed, and a personal hero of mine, Joe Piscopo. I walked in dressed in that costume and the room sort of fell silent. After a bit of chit-chat, though, I got to do my scene with Joe Friggin’ Piscopo (augh!) and at that moment, I knew that whatever happened, this audition was one of the coolest moments of my life. Fortunately, I got all three judges to laugh, and they unanimously sent me through to the "next round."

How did you feel when you got the call that you'd been cast? Did you feel like you'd been cast to fulfill a certain "role"?
It was SO cool to hear I'd been cast, mostly because I had gone into the audition with nothing to lose, and I’d already been able to meet Joe Piscopo (who is probably one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people ever). Plus, I got a free trip to New Orleans where we were shooting, so I couldn't complain. I didn't feel like I was cast to fulfill a certain role until I met the rest of my castmates, when it then became abundantly clear that I was cast as "weird white girl." Ha!

Sarah (on the right in the brown sweater) with the other cast members

Tell us about filming the show.

We filmed for just a week in New Orleans. Unlike reality shows like The Real World, where the cameras are on all the time, we only filmed in pre-set situations, like a coaching session with Zmed, or a group tour of Bourbon Street. We actually spent a huge amount of time off camera memorizing lines and rehearsing. Like So You Think You Can Dance, they paired us with a scene partner and then assigned a scene we had to perform in front of a live audience. We would only have ONE chance to get it right, so we wanted to make sure it was absolutely perfect.

Since we weren't filmed all the time, the whole week felt sort of like a fun but stressful mini-vacation. However, it was strange to go into situations where you know you'd be filmed...and you'd (mostly) get no second takes. So if you say or do something stupid, it's ON FILM. And you cannot take it back.

What were your co-stars like? Did you get along with them?
For the most part, my co-stars were awesome. My scene partner and I are still great friends and one of my other castmates is from my hometown and she and I hang out all the time. Most of the people in the cast were regular people who saw the show as an opportunity to grow as actors. There were a few in the cast that were your "typical" reality show types (the super-hot-not-so-smart chick, the model-actor who loved to name drop), but the rest of us actually just had a good time hanging out and getting to know each other.

How did it end?
Well, the outcome of the show is still somewhat secretive since it never aired! That lesson was one of the most interesting things I learned about the reality TV game and television in general. There are shows that get produced that will never, ever see the light of day. Apparently, they're still trying to shop the show and the movie out to networks and studios, so we'll see! It would be strange if it ever does air since we filmed almost three years ago.

(Side note: One CRAZY thing about reality TV is that when you are done on the show, you are DONE on the show. They are not kidding around, and they will pack your ass on a plane outta there ASAP. As the "talent" you are costing the production team money for every minute you're there, so they don't want to keep you around if your mug isn't going to be on camera anymore.)

Did you make any money? Did the experience open any doors for you?
We all made a small per diem, and they fed us regularly and paid for our hotel, but other than that, we worked for free. Since the show never aired, it didn't necessarily open any doors for me, but I did find the whole experience fascinating. When you watch a reality TV show, you only see the final product. The truth is, there is a TON of behind the scenes work that goes on. Also, don't believe everything you see. Some reactions can be filmed two or three (or four!) times until they feel it's "right." The best part of the whole situation is that I did meet a ton of cool people so I'll have a memory that lasts a lifetime.

Any advice for someone interested in auditioning for a reality show?
Absolutely! Here are a few tips:

* Be memorable, be YOU, and remember they are casting a TV show. You might be the most talented person there, but if you don’t fit the show or character they’re looking for, you won’t be cast. In other words, don’t take anything in the process personally.

* Remember that at the end of the day, producers view reality TV as a product that has the potential to pay off big for very little money down. If you're cast, you'll be the “talent,” yes, but you're just part of the machine. And last but not least...

* Go with it, have fun, and never, ever be one of those people who says, "I'm not here to make friends." Life is too short, and the odds are not stacked in your favor that the show will be your “big break.” So make friends...they will be the best thing you can take away from the whole situation.

Have any of you ever auditioned for a reality show? Would you? Any questions for Sarah?

List 2: Places You've Lived

The dock that I grew up on

This is our exercise in Sunday self-absorbtion, in which we make lists about ourselves. It's really fun! Lists frequently inspired by this awesome book.

Since I left home at 18, I've lived in approximately a million different places.

1. Mom and Dad's house
Brown, ranch style house on a lake in rural Minnesota. High ceilings, giant yard, wood-paneled basement.

2. Blakely dorms on U of M, Morris campus
High ceilings, inflatable furniture, lofted beds (of course)

3. On-campus apartments, U of M, Morris
Tiny, tiny, tiny. Cinderblock walls and seven-tiles worth of kitchen

4. Cardinal Estate apartments, Morris, MN
Wallpapered bathroom, walk-in closet, balcony overlooking the parking lot

5. Blue house, Morris, MN
Claw-footed bathtub, pantry, neighbor who parked his truck in his yard

6. Prospect Park apt, Minneapolis, MN
Landlord announced "I don't care if you dooooo drugs, just don't sellll drugs."

7. Yellow house, Morris, MN
Landlord removed shingles to fix the roof - and never put them back on

8. Rainbow apartments, 11th floor, Chung Li, Taiwan
Pink kitchen, Japanese bedroom, mood lighting

9. Loft, Chung Li, Taiwan
Actually a tiny house built on top of a 10-story building, overlooking the train station and across the street from several brothels

10. Rainbow apartments, 19th floor, Chung Li, Taiwan
High enough up that we could see all the way through the smog to...more city

11. Above The Mill, Wellington, New Zealand
Living above a liquor store is pretty much exactly like what you imagine it would be like

12. Prince Street, Wellington, New Zealand
Perhaps the best house I've ever lived in - on a mountain, overlooking the bay, five minutes from Courtney Place, living with some of my favorite people.

13. Loring Park, Minneapolis, MN
'Garden' apartment with a bathroom that was (quite literally) bigger than the kitchen. Pipes hanging from the ceiling.

14. Duplex, Bryn Mar, Minneapolis, MN
Cedar-lined sun porch, dining room, kitchen window that looked into our neighbor's bedroom

15. Cathedral Hill, St. Paul, MN
Sunny, tiny apartment with an awesome lady closet, useless landlord.

Now you!

For The Love of Lady Wrestlers (?!)

Rememeber that time I spent three months in Peru and Bolivia? I was super disappointed that I didn't get to attend a Lucha Libre match (we could only find them on Sundays in the capitol) and now I'm doubly disappointed that I didn't get to see tiny women in braids and petticoats kicking ass.

Don't you love documentaries? Do you have any favorites?

Be Nice

Real Life Style Icon: Carly of Lady Smaggle

This is one of our many Real Life Style Icon interviews, in which we talk to funny, smart, gorgeous ladies. And then consider raiding their closets!

Name: Carly
Age: 25... ish.
Location: Melbourne/Canberra, Australia
Online haunts: Twitter, Facebook Smaggle Fan Page, Flickr, Smaggle

Three reasons that you're awesome:
I'm ridiculously organized, exceptionally loyal and my hair is rad.

How did you dress as a kid?
Like Punky Brewster. Jeans with a little scarf tied above my knee and my hair in pigtails. I also loved my long denim shorts with flowered fabric trim and a white 90210 t-shirt that I wore to death. I also had a serious scrunchy addiction. Damn I was hot.

When did you become interested in fashion?
I think it was way back in the Punky Brewster days... but actual fashion would have been when I left my uniformed high school. It was amazing being able to choose what to wear everyday for the first time in my life. When I went to university I did this whole pencil skirts and high heels thing and I'd carry this designer tote with all my books in it. Of course I had a lot more time back then so when I had an eleven am lecture I'd spend the morning beautifying. Sigh! To be twenty again...

Where do you find style inspiration?

I love Daphne Guinness, Tilda Swinton, Dianna Vreeland, and although their main client base is much older than me I find Trinny and Susannah incredibly informative. As for blogs, the market is so saturated now, but The Glamourai is always beautiful. I also love the Sartorialist. I read hundreds of fashion blogs but those are the two that I generally gasp at daily.

Where are your favorite places to shop?
In Melbourne I love Metalicus, Brunswick St in general and Alice Euphemia. In Canberra I love Itrip Iskip, Unit Concepts and Department of the Exterior. Other than that I'm an excellent scanner. I can walk into any high street store, do a quick spin around and see if there's anything that I fancy. I'm an organic shopper as well and I love a good window display so even if I'm not technically shopping I can often make a quick and effective purchase if I see something I love.

Could you tell us your top three style tricks/DIYs?
1. Scarves are brilliant. Tie them around your head, waist, the handle of your bag. Scarves can completely change the look of an otherwise plain ensemble.

2. Wear natural fibers whenever possible.

3. Always wear clothes that fit. Dianna Vreeland once said how chic it is to fit your clothes easily and that 'snappy tightness' was a bad habit of uncouth Americans. I like to keep that in mind when shopping.
Thanks so much, Carly! Do you guys have any questions for her?

Adorable Buttons! For You!

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If you'd like to win this bundle of goodness, pop over to the Dahliaville etsy shop and then leave a comment below.

Good luck!

Dear Dude Answers Your Questions!

Dear Dude is a once-monthly column in which my good friend, The Dude, answers some of your questions about the hairier sex. Dear Dude is an industrial designer by day and a serial flirt by night. He owns entirely too many bikes and a fairly well-behaved dog. He loves good food, good music and smart ladies.

Dear Dude - Why would a guy send flirty text messages if he claims that he's not at all interested in dating you and laughs when you even suggest that he might be interested.

Dear Lass -
Are you interested in this guy? Do you know him well? Are there other, more endearing characteristics than he is showing here? Because it seems like he is hiding behind his phone keyboard, playing Cyrano De Bergerac; and is either so nervous and/or afraid of being rejected that he would rather reject you first - OR - is kind of a d*ck, and is teasing you for some unknown reason. This sounds like classic "torture the girl I like, but make her think I don't really like her, until the teary end of the movie where I hold up a boom box playing "our song" and profess my undying love"... classic.

If I were you (I'd be pretty) I would confront him. It might make him pee his pants, but it would get this out in the open and either resolve the teasing (and possibly lose a friend), or you have a Rom-Com worthy story to tell your grand kids... "You see little ones, your grandpa pretended he didn't like me, but really did, but teased me mercilessly... isn't that cute?" And we wonder where that playground stuff comes from.

And I would tell this guy to either quit with the games, or hitch up your panties son, let those testes drop, and tell the girl: "I like you"...

xoxo,
Dude

Dear Dude,
My bf claims to not like food. he is the most unhealthy eater ever, and he never tries anything new, eats a ton of fast food etc. I, on the on the other hand, am a dietetics student, love to exercise and eat healthy, and I LOVE to cook. He knows all these things.

He went with me on my grocery store excursion last night and he acted like he was soooo miserable and he would rather be anywhere but there. I asked him a couple times to help me and he just whined about it. It was like I was actually watching him devolve before my eyes. I knew he wanted to make spaghetti and he was just going to use store bought sauce. I offered to make him spaghetti sauce, which he has had before and I know he likes. And he turned it down because it's too much work (it's really not and I consider it a gift from me so I don't mind doing any work).

I was so disappointed that I tried to integrate him into my lifestyle a little and he so immaturely refused to be a part of it. He is normally open minded and at least willing to try something.

Dear ______ -

Lame. Lamety, lamo, lam-o-licious, lamocity...

Why are you with this guy? Is it the charming ketchup stain on his favorite football jersey? The way his feet smell like rotten potatoes ? Do you feel sorry for him? I kind of do...

I'm sorry, but everything in your description makes me cringe! Please tell me you have everything else in common, and it is *this one thing* that keeps you wondering, because he sounds like a stick in the mud, Debbie Downer, jerk bag.

You wrote for advice; here it is. Dump his sorry ass. For him to not even make an attempt to enjoy time with you, (let alone a favor!) indicates that he is selfish and immature... to say the least. If you want to give him the chance, tell him right now how much of a turn off his immaturity is to you - before it is too late! Tell him it "kills your lady boner", to quote a genius friend *wink-wink*. Sex, or the promise/removal of it, can move man-mountains. Quick! Before you commit to a life with this guy who can't enjoy anything (or at least something very important to YOU), and is trying to suck the enjoyment out of life!

xoxo,
Dude

What do you guys think? How would you handle these situation?

Replacement

Cue The Air Drums!

There are not many songs that move me to play imaginary air drums (I'm more of a hairbrush singer, myself) but the percussion bit in this song really gets me. If you ever happen to be stopped next to me at a stoplight while this song is playing, you're in for a treat.

And by "treat" I mean "slapping of the steering wheel and dashboard while yelling 'bah bababa ba bah!"

What songs bring out the imaginary musician in you?

This Time Next Month...

..I'll be in India! Can you believe it? After a year and a half of meticulous planning and saving my big, seven-month trip is about to happen! Here's the plan!

October 17th - 23rd: Hang out in Mumbai with my girls (Hi, Latha and Weeny!), valiantly attempt to be cast as an extra in a Bollywood movie. (Thus far, my plan consists of carrying a tiny fan and standing in plazas, attempting to look particularly cinematic)

October 23rd - 24th: Take the train from Mumbai to Bangalore. Recreate The Darjeeling Limited. Obviously.

October 25th - November 22nd: Volunteer at the Brindavan Educational Trust (a special needs school) and celebrate Diwali with my friend's family.

November 22nd - 29th: My friend Meghan pops over from Nepal and we hang out on a beach somewhere.

November 29th: Nepal!

P.S. Yes and Yes will still be running at 100% while I'm traveling! Remember how I did that when I was in South America for three months? Same deal. I've got heaps of True Story interviews, guest posts and new content all queued up for you guys!

P.P.S. If you're curious as to how I worked up the gumption - and money - to travel by myself for seven months (this is the third time I've left a job for long-term travel) may I point you towards my ebook?

Have you ever been to India? What advice can you share?

Blogs You Should Be Reading: P.S. I Made This

We all love a good DIY, don't we? Especially one that can make those old Payless sandals look like a million bucks? And then you wear them to a party and The Coolest Girl says "Wow! Those are adorable!" and you can be all: "Oh, these? Yeah, I made them."

How cool would that be?

You can live that dream if you spend the next few hours perusing P.S. I made this. It. is. phenomenal. See?

True Story: I Got Plastic Surgery

This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting/amazing/challenging things. This is the story of Rose and her breast augmentation.

Can you tell us a bit about your background?
I grew up in Nova Scotia, Canada. I guess you could say I had a pretty ordinary upbringing. I played sports and took piano lessons and hung out with my friends. I have a brother and a sister and we were all quite thin as kids.

Even though we were all healthy my mother seemed very preoccupied with fattening us up. She was teased as a child and I think she wanted to avoid having us go through the same kind of torment. Being skinny became part of who I was. I did get teased but I was able to laugh at the jokes. It didn't bother me too much.

As I got older, I became aware of my body in a different way. My friends were all developing womanly-curves while I remained stick-thin. By the time I was 13, everyone around me seemed concerned with being too fat. What I worried about was never having breasts, thus never attracting boys. My sister and I would complain constantly about being flat. I was so insecure about the way I looked that I stopped playing sports outside of school because I hated the way I looked in the uniforms and I avoided wearing a bathing suit at all costs. But just being flat wasn't my only problem. I seemed to be developing in a strange way.

When did you start considering plastic surgery? Was there a specific incident that made you consider it?
Plastic surgery didn't come into play until I was in my mid-to-late teens. If I had simply had small breasts I don't think I ever would have considered it an option. When I was about 12 I started to notice that my left breast was developing but my right breast wasn't. I spoke to my mother about it but she said not to worry, that it's very normal for girls to have uneven breasts.
I wasn't convinced. I couldn't shake the feeling that this was different. As I got older the problem became worse and worse. My left breast was about a large A to a small B and my right breast was little more that an areola. My self esteem was plummeting. Anyone who says we should learn to be happy with our bodies and love ourselves regardless of our flaws needs to experience this through adolescence. I tried masking my problem with padded bras and slouching, but nothing worked.

I became very depressed. When I was sixteen I started seeing a therapist and was put on anti-depressants. I lost most of my friends and spent a lot of time alone. I thought about my problem constantly. The summer I was 16 I attempted suicide. It was the absolute lowest moment of my life. In my formative years when I was supposed to be beginning to recognize myself as a sexual being, I felt repulsive and deformed. I honestly didn't see a way out of this.

As you can imagine, my mother was frantic. Up until then our GP had been telling me to give it a few years, that things would right themselves. This obviously wasn't happening. My mother put her foot down and demanded a referral to a plastic surgeon. I still didn't think this could help me though.

Can you tell us about the process of selecting a doctor?
As I mentioned above, I got a referral to a plastic surgeon from my GP. I think that is typically how it works if you are not planning to seek out a surgeon privately. Because I was so young, there was a substantial amount of planning that went on without my knowledge. Being from a small town, I had to travel to Nova Scotia's capital to see a surgeon. There is only one privately owned practice. Apart from that, the option is the resident surgeon at the main hospital. This would not be the case in a bigger province though.

How much did it cost? How did you pay for it?
The first time I visited the surgeon he took pictures of my chest. These were sent to the Medical Services Insurance (MSI). They deemed my case serious enough to financially cover. I was really, really lucky. They typically cost between $6000 and $10,000. As far as I'm aware, there are financing options available.

Can you tell us about the actual surgery and recovery?
The surgery itself went really well. I don't remember the recovery taking very long at all. That could have been because I was quite young and healthy. The anesthesiologist came and spoke to me before I was taken into the operating room. He explained everything that would happen to put me to sleep. In the operating room the surgeon explained a little of what would go on while I was asleep. We had already discussed the details of the surgery such as what type of implant I would have and also which incision site I would choose.

There are 4 sites to choose from: the armpit, the navel, the areola and the crease under the breast. Mine was the latter. The surgeon explained that this site heals the fastest. We also decided on saline implants. There's also the option of silicone. They are making new developments all the time though and I think there are a few more advanced options available now.

I don't remember much about waking up. What I remember the most about the whole recovery experience was how happy and excited my mom was. She came into my room to help me undress and get into bed. When she saw my chest all bandaged up she said, "Wow, Rose, you're stacked!" I had the surgery done on a Thursday and I was back at school on Monday. I was on a strong painkiller for a couple of weeks so I don't remember much pain but I do remember being terrified someone would bump into me in the hallway and "burst" my new chest!

How did the people in your life feel about you getting the surgery?
I have yet to tell many people about my surgery. My family knows. Also, my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend. They were all very supportive. I haven't told anyone else. I'm sure my friends would be supportive of me and my decision and I do plan to tell them one day. The reason I haven't told people is that I didn't always want to be associated with the surgery. I didn't want to be known as "the girl with the boob job."

There is such a stigma attached to plastic surgery. Women who get breast augmentation surgery are often seen as cheap. For me, it was simply about feeling like a woman. Over the past 10 years I've heard many negative opinions on the subject, usually from women with already perfect bodies who would never have any reason to consider plastic surgery. A part of me wants to stick it to them and make them feel awful for the things they say, but my shyness usually wins and I convince myself I've made the right decision in keeping quiet about my surgery. I really admire people who can be open about it though, and I often wish I didn't have this massive secret looming over me.

Are you happy with the results? Given a 'do over' would you make the same decision?
I am happy with the results; my surgeon did a really great job. I've had the breast implants for 10 years. I'm now a modest 34B. I think given the chance at a do over I would definitely make the same decision. These past 10 years have allowed me a freedom I never thought I would have. It may seem small to you, but to wear clothing I wouldn't otherwise have felt comfortable in is such a big deal.

What advice would you give to someone considering plastic surgery?
Do some serious soul searching. If there is something about your body that you absolutely can't change by yourself and this thing is affecting your mental health, talk to a professional about your options. Plastic surgery isn't a quick fix and it won't solve all your problems. Also, do your research. I remember before I had my surgery I read all the information I could possible find on the topic. When meeting with a surgeon, go in prepared with a list of questions. If he or she doesn't have time to answer them, look for a new surgeon. Most of all, be 100% sure that this is the right decision for you before going ahead with it and be aware that no plastic surgery is risk-free.

Have any of you had plastic surgery? Would you ever consider it? Any questions for Rose?

The Weekly List!

It probably comes as no surprise to you that I'm a compulsive list maker. I was, after all, a founding member of The Secret Society of List Addicts. Most of my lists are page after page of to-dos (sexy, I know) but I also have a thing for ridiculous lists like: Weird Things Strangers Say To Me or Aspects of Modern Life I Want No Part Of.

I've been voraciously filling in my copy of Listography, Your Life in Lists like the little Virgo that I am and it has brought me no end of self-absorbed, naval-gazing joy. And oddly? I love reading other people's lists, too!

So I thought we could have a bit of Sunday morning fun here on Yes and Yes and all gaze at our belly buttons and talk about ourselves, making lists inspired by this awesome book. Yes? Yes.

So! Without further ado! List numero uno:
Pets You've Had

1. Fizzy The Sunfish
Caught in my dad's minnow trap, lived in a fish bowl in my bedroom until he inexplicably leaped to his death on my green shag carpet

2. Charlie (Charcoal) the Bunny
Absurdly large, enjoyed eating pears and popcorn and trying to hump your knee

3. Libby the Bunny
Black, white, boring

4. Miso the Taiwanese Street Cat
Rescued as a kitten from a dumpster behind a McDonalds in Chung Li, Taiwan. Never really became domesticated and spent most of his life hiding behind things so he could better jump out and bite you

5. Putin (Rasputin) The Best Cat in The Land
Wear-er of vests, owner of his own kitteh jet, prone to needy, attention seeking behavior, incapable of going outside or using a leash.

Now you!

Ra Ra Riot

Dear Ra Ra Riot,
I don't care that you sounds like the poor man's version of Vampire Weekend. And I also don't care that this video makes absolutely no sense. I still think you're lovely.

xox,
Sarah Von

Blogs You Should Be Reading: Daily Pep Talk From A Best Friend

In a month, I'm moving thousands of miles away from my BFF. I'm not going to lie, there will probably be crying. But while I'm busy tramping around India, I'll also be reading Daily Pep Talk From A Best Friend every day, to fill in my friendship gaps. DPTFABF includes awesome tidbits like this:

• Pep talk: First off, f*ck that guy. That idiot doesn't deserve to be near you! You're too smart and caring to be dragged down by some damn fool's poor judgment. You should get some snacks, write in your journal, and remember that your self image is the only image of you that really matters. See yourself for the beautiful person you are. Heap on the praise today.
• Today remind yourself: I don't care what you think. I care what I think.
  
  

and this:

• Pep talk: Feel free to take yourself a little less seriously. It really doesn't matter what decision you make because whatever you do will be right. No one's life hangs in the balance. Just do your best and be happy.
• Today remind yourself: It's only a big deal if I make it one.
  
  
  So if you, too, are far away from your bestie, or don't have one at the moment, this blog can help out a wee bit.
  
  Though it probably won't lend you that awesome dress for clubbing. Probably not.
  

The House of Yes: A Tour

In a little over a month I'll be disassembling my adorable apartment, passing along my furniture to my students and packing everything else into my car. But before I begin the process of getting rid of my worldly possessions, I thought my little flat deserved a bit of a photo shoot.

Even though I left home at 18, this is the first apartment that has been 100% my own - not shared with roommates or a boyfriend or partially furnished when I moved in. I found this apartment. I chose the paint color. I picked out every last thing that's inside these walls. It's a lovely feeling to have a space that is so unequivocally mine.

You've probably seen a few of these pictures before on Yes and Yes. Any particularly well-composed, well-lit photos were taken by my very talented friend Sam Rapson.

Also! 98% of what you see here is second hand. And with the exception of electronics, nothing cost more than $150!

My tiny, tiny office
Desk: Salvation Army
Chair: Salvation Army
File cabinet: spray painted with 'hammered steel effex' paint, Salavation Army
Lamp: small town thrift store in Wisconsin

Dress dummy: second hand display store
Dress: Salvation Army (I actually go to this particular Salvation Army so frequently, the cashier put aside this dress for me because she knew I'd like it!)

My 'entry/dining room'
I painted my front door with chalkboard paint - all the better for list making!

Table: Ikea, via Craigslist
Awesome beaded skull placemat: Target Halloween section

Floating shelves: Ikea, via Craigslist
Takk For Maten plaque: Grandma. (It's means 'Thank you for the meal' in Norwegian)
Skull: Salvation Army, painted it black with left over chalkboard paint

Fake orchid: Goodwill
Stereo: Target
Frames: Salvation Army and Dollar Tree
Prints: The Internet

My tiny, tiny living room
Oh, but it's wee! Just enough space for a tiny love seat, this crazy banquet and an area rug.

Love seat: Ikea, via Craigslist
Banquet: Salvation Army (for $12!!!) spray painted lime green
Head: Ikea
Clock: Unique Thrift (when you push the button on top, it says the time! (incorrectly))
Light: Ikea

My tiny, tiny kitchen

This is the only photo you get. Because this is pretty much all there is to it - two square feet of counter and a doll-sized stove.

Cow salt-n-pepper shaker: gift
Secret special stove-sized cutting board: Ikea (if you also have a tiny kitchen, I cannot recommend these cutting boards highly enough! No lie, they will revolutionize your life)

My tiny, tiny bathroom

Again with the tiny. I made up for the total lack of storage space by mounting this shelf and storing my beauty bobbles in this decorative box.

Shelf: Salvation Army
Box: Ikea
Bottle: Salvation Army
Tiny voodoo bottles and statue: Brazil
Shower curtain: Target.com

My awesome, awesome lady closet

Do you remember what it looked like before? This closet was a major selling point on this apartment. I am not exagerating when I say that I've been wanting a closet like this since I was 11.

Storage bins: Salvation Army, painted with left over chalk board paint
Funny bottle: Asian grocery story

This is what it looked like after I re-did it! (P.S. I style the sweet bejesus out of this photo. I don't really wear exclusively black, white and turqouise clothing. But it sure looks nice, doesn't it?)

My bedroom

I love having a corner apartment. It's so lovely and bright! Even if my view is only of the neighbor's back yard and the alley.

Frames: Salvation Army
Photos: my friends and me!
Funny shoes: antique store in Taiwan
Elephant chain: Taiwan

Curtains: Ikea
White bedspread: Target
Embroidered blanket: Sapa, Vietnam

Thanks so much for touring my place! Have you ever had an apartment (or house) that's 100% your own? How do you like it?