Manifesta

Okay, how about just one more excerpt for Eve Ensler's latest book? How'd you get into my brain like that, Eve?

Cherish your solitude
Take trains by yourself to places you have never been
Sleep out alone under the stars
Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back
Say no when you don’t want to do something
Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees
Decide whether you want to be liked or admired
Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here

(P.S. I'm totally working on Ms. Ensler's publishers to put together a giveaway of this book. How awesome would that be?!)

Don't Hate

Style Lessons From Cher

So, we've learned a few style lessons from the inimitable Dolly Parton: Sparkle - yes! Schlumpy - no! Let's turn our attention to another icon of questionable, but fun! fashion choices - Cher. Sure, Cher is famously known for calling electrical tape and a leather jacket an outfit. But really, who hasn't made that mistake? Let's see what we can learn from the lovely and spunky Cherilyn Sarkisian.

Don't be afraid of statement pieces

Cher loves her some statement pieces. Native American headdress? Check. Tinsel, boob-hiding wig? Check. Live Falcon? Obviously. And while I would call myself stylistically adventurous (I have been rocking harem pants for the last three years) even I would balk at wearing Ojibwa headgear to a dinner party.

That being said, I think there's a lot to say for Cher's bravery. Life would be pretty boring if we were all shuffling around in khakis and button-ups all the time. My vote for a slightly more realistic approach to the statement piece goes to: the fascinator. Not often seen in America, the fascinator is a fashion staple of lady antipodeans, particularly while attending horse races. I think Cher would approve!

View your hair as an important accessory - and change it as often

Cher has never been one to accept the hand that genetics has dealt her. Your straight dark hair isn't working with your chainmail leotard? Think blond would look better with your gold fringe underpants? Then follow Cher's lead and plop a wig on your head and go.

Obviously, a wig changes the entire look of an outfit. Let's examine how three different wigs and a few choice accessories influence the look of a basic black t-shirt and jeans outfit. Ooooh look! Artsy bob girl! You met her at your community ed pottery class and have developed quite the girl crush. And spunky blue haired girl! She works at your favorite coffee shop and always gives your niece an extra big cookie. And the hippie high school art teacher! She's blew your mind when she introduced you to Ansel Adams.



Small boobies are hot, too!

We can all acknowledge that Cher is wicked hot, despite many qualities that might not fit under the heading of 'traditionally attractive.' Biggish nose and sexily wonky teeth? She totally rocked them, (or at least she did before she got them 'fixed.') She also rather blatantly showcases her small, perky assets. And they are so damn cute!

If you are also lucky enough to possess a pair of buoyant little rosebuds (and you are crazy, crazy brave) you can borrow a page from Cher's book and rock a transparent shirt. Personally, I would add some pasties and big necklace to the mix to keep things in NC-17 territory.

Who's your favorite non-traditional style icon?

Note To Self:

We're all a little bit in love with Eve Ensler, right? She wrote The Vagina Monologues, helped raise over $60 million dollars to help prevent violence against women, raises awareness about the Ciudad Juarez slayings and gives a voice to hundreds of female inmates. Also? I love her haircut.

Well, Superwoman Ensler has an amazing new book - I Am An Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World. Obviously, it's amazing. I happened upon this excerpt in the most recent issue of Glamour magazine and nearly started weeping right there on the stairclimber at the Y. I will be rushing out to buy my very own copy after work today. You, too?

Dear Emotional Creature:
I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-synch every single memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire and heal the world.

Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be - your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pleasure to please everyone.

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please: to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane overachievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.

I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.

Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.

When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long.

Love,
Eve Ensler

Spring-ful Songs

It's not here yet, you guys. I'm lusting after Spring with a fervor usually reserved for grad students with curly dark hair and dog-earred copies of Slaughterhouse Five. One of my coping mechanisms? This bunch of Spring-esque songs. Have a listen and imagine yourself wearing a cardigan and wellingtons, buying daffodils at the Farmers' Market.



When You Walk In The Room - Fyfe Dangerfield

Shark In The Water - VV Brown
Ambling Alp - Yeasayer
Cousins - Vampire Weekend
Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons
Tying My Shoes - Caroline Smith and the Goodnight Sleeps
Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective
Walking On A Dream - Empire of the Sun

What's music are you loving at the moment?

Letting The Good Times Roll

Instead of stuffing my face with chocolate and watching Harold and Maude, I spent my Valentine's Day catching beads, mowing on beignets and buying tiny bottles of wine from Target at 9 am. I know it probably sounds like I died and went to heaven but no friends, I just went to Louisiana.

It is really and truly a different country down there, y'all. Gorgeous, spooky swamps that stretch for miles, alligators hanging out on campus, alcohol for sale in every blessed store, zydeco on the radio and tiny, sweet little bungalows. It was the perfect escape from Minnesota's icy, polite clutches. A bit of photographic evidence?

Spanish moss, y'all.

What's that? Why, yes. It is, in fact, an alligator.
Where does it live? On campus.
What do they feed it? Dry dog food.
Where was I standing when this photo was taken?
About five feet away. (Behind a fence because I'm a weeny)

Attempting to look calm and collected next to the alligator
enclosure. Lake Martin bayou.

Corn grits, hush puppies and sweet potatoes. To be
washed down with drive-thru daiquiris.
Yes, really.

"Here ya go, buddy! You don't even need to
show me yer boobs!"

Please note my awesomely tacky thematic manicure.

I got all these beads the good old fashioned way.
By jumping.

Louisiana cemetaries feature above-ground caps so

the coffins won't pop out of the ground when

there are floods. Eeep!

Have you ever been to Louisiana?

True Story: I'm Transgendered

This is part of our 'True Story' interview series, in which I interview interesting people about fascinating/challenging/non-traditional things that they've done. This is the story of Anna.

For the unititiated, could you give us the definition of a transgendered person?
Let me begin with the usual disclaimer. I do not represent every transgendered person and my opinions and thoughts on the matter are just one person's viewpoint, blah and etc. I think the stock answer is that transgendered is an umbrella term for people who, for one reason or another, cross gender boundaries.

So, transsexuals, cross dressers, intersexed, people who identify as gender-queer, butch women, femme men, two spirits, drag kings/queens, and people who present as androgynous could be considered to be transgendered.To strangers on the street, I identify myself as a woman. To friends and people I feel comfortable with, I identify myself as a woman who happens to have started off as a male to female (MtF), preoperative transsexual.

How old were you when you realized you were different from other people of your gender?
I started feeling out of place from an early age...maybe six or seven. I think it takes a while for a kid's gender identity to develop, so for the first five years, I felt like any other happy, almost genderless kid and I behaved how I wished. There wasn't any one defining moment or realization, it was a lot of little moments. Like, when I was six or seven, I wanted to take ballet classes with my sister sooo badly. I knew that boys could enroll in the class, but I knew it wouldn't be the same. I'd have to dress differently and would be treated differently, so I never asked.

Gradually, I started to feel out of place and increasingly uncomfortable with having to behave like other boys. I distinctly recall knowing the word transvestite in the fourth grade and I used to wonder if I was one. Writing this, I realize that this experience isn't much different from the one a lot of "different" kids had growing up.

When did you 'come out' as transgendered? What was the reaction to it?
I suppose I 'came out' to myself during my first year of college. We had a ginormous library on campus and I spent my first year reading everything I could on the subject. This was just before the Internet was widely available, so my reading choices were limited to super boring graduate psychology papers and the occasional mention in literature (Orlando, et al.).

I told my younger sister, my only sibling, about twelve years ago. I had played around and talked to people online before that, but my sis was the first "real life" person I told. Her reaction has never wavered from awesome and supportive and she has always been my rock. Nothing really changed after I told my sister. I still lived a sort of double life and only presented as female after work and in night clubs on the weekends. I wasn't ready to go further than that, so I spent the next eight years trying to cultivate a "normal" life. I worked, went back to school, graduated with an engineering degree, got engaged, and slowly progressed from merely wistful to a deep, desperate depression. My body's annoyingly good at showing me the way to go in life and I have major visceral reactions whenever I get lost.

Anyway, after my fiancee and I broke up, I decided it was finally time to change things. I started electrolysis and went to see a psychologist and my physician to get clearance to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I sent a novella-sized coming out email to my friends and family about five months later in October 2008. At the time, reactions were mixed. My mother was so not happy and father didn't reply. Most of my friends were supportive. My cat remains indifferent.

I spent the next five months thinking of a way to come out at work and not drive myself insane with worry. I wrote about it some here and here. I had a meeting with my boss and our human resources representative about a month before I went back to work. The place I work is kind of small, so we decided it would be a good idea to get everyone together to talk about my transition while I was on vaca. My boss read this letter to everyone and then they all took turns whacking a pinata, having coffee and doughnuts, or doing whatever it is you do after having a So your coworker's a transsexual? meeting. I went back to work the next week and it was a non-issue. I work with a bunch of smarties and they have either been super-supportive or quiet, which are both fine with me.Since then, I've reestablished good relationships with my mother and father (they're divorced), gotten closer to some friends and lost others.

How does being transgendered affect your daily life?
Being transgendered is my daily life; it's not something I can take off or change out of. There are constant physical reminders...I'm 5'9" and taller than most women, I've had about 100 hours of electrolysis and I still go for an hour every Saturday, I take pills every day, and on and on. As I move further away from my first day back to work, I think about gender less and less (and I hope to get to a place where I don't think of it at all), but I think it will always be there.

I don't generally have a problem with being accepted as a woman in public, but I'm always evaluating people's reactions and how they treat me. I am self conscious and still too aware of the 152,396 things that are wrong with my body...but so are a lot of women. It's easy to forget that when you're up in your own head all the time like I am, but it's important not to. We all have our own body issues and crappy days, but they shouldn't define us and how we move through life or treat other people.

Does being transgendered affect your dating life?
How doesn't it affecting my dating life? I think dating is an awful experience for just about everyone, but it's extra fun when you have to disclose your surgical status right away lest you get assaulted or murdered. I wrote about how hard it is to find someone here. I identify as a straight woman (gender identity doesn't have a thing to do with sexuality) and have been dating for the last eight months or so. I met a nice guy and we dated for the last four months, but just recently broke up. So, if y'all know any really understanding guys...

I guess the thing that's most troubling about trans dating (and dating in general, I suppose) is that you have to really consider why that person is interested in you. Is it because they like you as a person? Are they into tall women? Are they obsessed with a particular part of your anatomy? Objectification is hardly a new concept to women, but it still stinks to be treated that way. I've tried to be painfully upfront with guys about my plans for surgery and I try to screen out the ones that aren't really into me as a person, but that drains the pool considerably. Still, I'm an insufferable optimist and hopeful that it'll all work out someday. I'll meet that one special guy that loves me for who I am (he's a pilot) and we'll get married and raise three children (Bonnie, Jack, and Shelby), two dogs and four cats on a small, boutique cheese farm in Vermont or Norway or whatever. :-)

Are you interested in having gender reassigment surgery? (you don't have to answer this if you don't want to - I'm not even really sure if this is an appropriate question!)
Yes, I do plan on having reassignment surgery at some point. No, it's not an appropriate question, but I understand why people want to ask it all the time. I say it's not appropriate, because I was (and I think a lot of people were) raised to believe that health-related topics were private matters and not eligible for open discussion. Honestly, it isn't anyone's business, but that doesn't seem to stop people from asking. If they do, it makes me think about their motivation for asking that question. Sorry, I don't mean to get all snippy, but I have strong opinions about this :-)

When I'll have surgery is another matter. I think a lot of people have some idea about the current, poor state of our health care system, but there is almost no insurance coverage for trans people. My HRT is mostly subsidized through work insurance, but I have to pay out of pocket for electrolysis and reassignment surgery. So, my monthly transition costs are an extra $250 and surgery is around $20,000. Things are changing, however slowly; the AMA now recommends affordable health care for trans people and a recent tax court ruling made the costs for surgery tax deductible.

I don't have the money for surgery now, but things might get easier in the next three to five years.I'm also not what you would call an "out and proud" trans person. I sometimes write about life as a transsexual person on my mostly anonymous blog and choose to share that information with the special people in my life, but that's as far as I want to go. People have made great strides in accepting transgendered people, but Angie Zapata's murder trial was still in progress less than a year ago. It's still too soon and the stakes are still too high. Also, again, it's not really anyone else's business. I choose to tell who I want, when I want, and I ask my friends and family to not share my information.

What are the most common misconceptions that you've encountered?
I guess it depends on the sort of transgendered person you identify as. I haven't had many in-depth discussions with friends and family on what's it like to be transsexual. I don't bring it up much because I don't want people to think that it's the only thing that defines me as a person...it doesn't. These days, I'm way more concerned with blogging, dating, crafting, art, my cat, trying to have fun, paying my bills, getting to work on time, etc. So, I don't have a lot of experience with this, but I have had discussions with a couple of friends about sharing my status with people they knew. I've asked them not to do it but one of them had an issue with it. She asked me what I was afraid of in not coming out to everyone.

I think people just apply the lesbian and gay coming out model to us...like, once we tell them, we should be out and proud and not ashamed of who were are. I like myself and I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I'd rather not get murdered or treated differently because of that one detail.I think the more common misconception is that we're all freaks, perverts, just gay, just lesbians, sick, mentally ill, just in it for sex, hormonally imbalanced, attention seeking, drag queens/kings, someone to be pitied, or just pretending to be something we're not. For the record, I am none of those...ok, maybe occasionally hormonally imbalanced.

What advice would you give to other people struggling to come out of the transgendered closet?
Advice? Eeep! I have a hard enough time taking care of myself/Miss Kitty and I'm certainly no role model, but here goes...

Do some homework:
These days, there are plenty of winning online resources for trans peeps...Andrea James' tsroadmap.com is an excellent resource for the MtFs, Hudson's FTM Resource seems like an excellent FtM guide, and Dr. Lynn Conway's site is an amazing catalog of sane, successful, beautiful trans women. I've never read it, but I sent my Mom a copy of True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism-For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown & Chloe Ann Rounsley, and she really seemed to like it. Youtube has tons of trans people representin'...TrannystarGalactica is a good group of vloggers, but there are loads more. Read other blogs. Check out your local GLBT resource center, they may offer a support group. In other words, try to figure out who you are and where you want to go next.

Talk it out:
It's hard to figure this out all by yourself and you'll feel much, much better after you share this with someone. Talk to your friends or family if you feel comfortable. If not, speak to a therapist or another trans person. Take this time to lean on the people in your life that want to help you and love you for who you are.

Make a plan: If you decide that you identify as transsexual and think permanent transition from one gender to the other is in your future, think about how you're going to get there. Do you need to make a budget and earn more money? Are you going to change you name? What's the procedure? How do you change your driver license and records? Do you want to start HRT? When are you going to tell your friends and family? When are you going to tell the people at work? I spent a lot of time planning the details of my transition and I think it helped a lot.

Make it happen:
You need to actually go out there and do it at some point. It's going to be mega scary and nerve-wracking at first, but I believe in you and I know you can do it! :-) Take it slow ( you can work on hair removal and saving money anytime), follow your plan, and don't forget to take care of yourself. Try to find a safe, welcoming place where you can be yourself when you need to relax or when it all gets to be too much. Do something with all that stress; go dancing, ride your bike, or learn how to play air guitar! Take advantage of your homegrown support system and cultivate relationships with the people you love. Keep a journal, blog, or vlog so Future You can cringe about how weird you looked or dumb you sounded back in the day. :-) Just kidding...this is an important time in your life and you'll want to remember it. I guess the most important thing is to just get to it and move on with your life.

Does anybody have any (tactful! respectful!) questions for Anna?

Alone Time

After sixteen (!) straight days of social commitments, I finally have a big, gorgeous day all to myself. I definitely need the occasional day of pottering around my apartment in my pajamas, skyping with far-flung girlfriends, blogging at the coffee shop and not interacting with a blessed soul.

How much alone time do you need? How do you recharge your batteries?

Advice on Living

Great Beauty Advice! And Free Mascara!

I believe I have written all of one beauty-related post for Yes and Yes (waxing poetic on the merits of a face mask made of yogurt and aspirin) so I thought I'd introduce you lovelies to my good friend Elizabeth and her extensive beauty knowledge. Here she shares some secrets with those of us who are still making eyeliner by licking makeup brushes and rubbing them around in a Wet n' Wild black eyeshadow from 1999. You know, hypothetically.

Hi everyone! Thanks for having me! Sarah has created such an uplifting, inspiring microcosm—what an honor to be share her space and community. So what is a beauty blogger doing on Yes and Yes? Let me explain.

I recently said farewell to all that—to my fancy job, my pencil skirts, my paycheck—to pursue a career as beauty/wellness writer (I will never part with my thongs, however. Just say no to VPLs! That’s visible panty lines, people). Quitting my job was the single most frightening leap I’ve ever taken. I am much more comfortable with a routine, with corporate politics and piles of paperwork, than actually pursuing a life-long dream. But here I am! And you know what? Fear feels good.

As for the beauty stuff, there’s something about pretty packaging, all those colors and scents, and the latest miracle cream that gets me going. Which is why it might surprise you to learn that I’m actually a fairly low-maintenance girl. I don’t wear a lot of make-up. I don’t color my hair or get my nails done very often. I get my kicks from giving my friends facials in the bathroom, and helping readers feel fabulous by offering product recommendations, make-up tips and tricks, and skincare dos and don’ts. Here are a few of my beauty rules to live by:

Don’t leave the house with out sunscreen. Ever. I don’t care if it’s below zero and cloudy. UVA rays will find you, and when they do, your skin with age. Wrinkles. Sagging. Sunspots. Aim for at least an SPF 30 (15 is so 2009), and don’t forget your neck!

Trends come and go, that doesn’t mean you have to try them. Black lipstick, white nail polish, shaggy layers. These will never look good on me. If it doesn’t make you feel more beautiful, just say no.

Put down the Sea Breeze. And Noxzema. You no longer have 15-year-old skin. It can’t take all that alcohol, which only strips your face and makes it overcompensate by producing MORE oil. However . . .

You don’t need a fancy cleanser. Though they smell super nice and foam up like whipped cream, an expensive cleanser is still only on your face for, like, 30 seconds. Save the $20 for a cocktail or three and stick with simple cleansers such as Cetaphil.

Good makeup usually costs more. These are the breaks, kids. Money buys highly pigmented colors, longer-lasting formulas, and more natural shades. Which means that you actually buy fewer products in the long run, thereby saving you money.

One major exception is mascara. I’ve tried every drugstore brand and there are definitely a few $5 tubes that put department store versions to shame. In fact, lately I’ve been pushing Maybelline Lash Stiletto* like it’s my job. Which, I guess, it kind of is.

*This week, one Yes and Yes reader will win a tube of Maybelline Lash Stiletto—just leave a comment with your most pressing beauty question. I’ll do my best to answer it, and draw one lucky name. Best of luck!

There's No Business Like Snow Business

photo

Oh, puns are awful, aren't they? I do apologize. I may be going slowly insane due to, oh I don't know, never-ending winter? But! Ever one to take a lemon and paint that shit gold, I am bound and determined to see the silver lining in the cloud that is Minnesota's six months of winter. No, friends, that isn't a typo. Four million people have, in fact, voluntarily chosen to live in a place that often reaches -30 and boasts snow for half the year.

Here are some of the adventures I've been known to undertake in an attempt to maintain my sanity among all the white stuff.

Have a photo shoot

Are you among the many who document your daily fashion choices? All that white provides a nice backdrop for your cute vintage dress, don't you think? Our girlfriend Cherry Blossom Girl, above, thinks so. So does this cutie. And this brave soul.

Make snow cream

Hygiene, shmi-giene - I don't want to hear it nay-sayers! When it starts to snow, put a big mixing bowl outside to catch some clean snow (about a gallon), mix in a cup of milk, half a cup of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla. Eat under the stars with your best girlfriends.

Make snow prints

Step 1: Wait for a perfect, ever-so-slightly wet, fairytale snow to fall and accumulate on a parking lot full of cars. Step 2: Run around pressing your faces and bodies into the snow. Step 3: Stand back and admire your amazingly realistic snow sculptures. Step 4: Hide behind the cars and watch bewildered commuters make sense of the face imprinted on to the hood of their Impala.

Build an igloo

I don't know about you, but I suspect I will never outgrow making forts. Blanket forts, table forts, and igloos are the end-all-be-all of forts, no? A proper igloo is something of an undertaking requiring a specific kind of snow (as evidenced by this hilarious, totally un-PC 1960's educational video). But don't be dissuaded! I created many an awesome snow fort with these cool snow brick molds.

Make snow paint

And by 'snow paint' I mean 'fill an old squeeze bottle with water and food coloring.' Visit your neighborhood park and leave love notes for strangers, your favorite quote or the photo number for your hottie, singleton friend. Now you don't need to be jealous of your gentleman friends and their innate ability to write in the snow.

Extra Credit

* Make a snowball and put it in your freezer to utilize on your boyfriend come June

* Use a snow bank to chill your bottle of Champagne

* Visit your neighborhood sauna and do like the Swedes and have a proper snow roll, post-steaming

* Pull out your inflatable mattress, pile your friends on top and and go sliding!

How do you utilize the white stuff?

The Best Hair Style You've Never Tried

If you, like the rest of the northern hemisphere, are suffering from Mid-Winter Malaise, a new hair do might help, yes? If you're a bit too punky for the ubiquitous princess hair but you don't want to overwhelm your grandma with your mohawk, please allow me to introduce you to your new best friend: The Faux Mo.

It's funky, it's fancy, it's even work appropriate! And better yet, it works best on dirty hair and takes all of one minute to put together. See? I told you you'd love it.

Recipe:
8 little hair binders
2 bobbie pins
Some hair gel
Lots of panache

1. Rub some gel through your hair if it's not suitably dirty. Give it a proper mussing.
2. Pin your bangs back into a poof. When in doubt, bigger is better.
3. Pull your hair into three or four little ponytails, in a vertical line down the back of your head.

4. Using the other four hair binders, twist your four ponytails into messy buns. The messier the better.


And you're done! Singular earring and b-girl posturing optional.

Dream Design

Do you lovelies ever experience a gap between the sort of design that you loooove and covet and reality of your space? I love these rooms - so lush and colorful and filled with fat pillows! But daily life finds me meticulously arranging my two throw pillows that perfectly match my drapes and dusting my one knick knack. In real life, I'm not sure that the Virgo in me could handle all that not matching and all those decorative things on every surface.

Do you ever experience a gap between the design that you live with versus the design that you love?

For the Love of Mae West

I probably don't even need to tell you guys that Marie (of Agent Lover fame) is hilarious, adorable and awesome in every way. Because you're probably already reading her blog and laughing over her Top Ten Inspriational Celebrity Photos or her detailed analysis of She Wolf. Girlfriend makes me laugh. In this guest post she tells us about one of her fave ladies.

There were several notable female icons that have inspired me since I was a child, sprouting from my father's fondness for each of them. Sultry singer Peggy Lee was one, coquette cartoon Betty Boop was another, but the most prominently influential lady was the comedienne, actress and playwright known as Mae West. Mostly famous for her witty, playfully suggestive and widely recognizable one-liners, you can say Mae was the Diva of the Double Entendre or the Siren of the Sexual Innuendo. She was also constantly surrounded by muscle menz. DELISH. My kind of woman!



Aside from her quotable quips, she was bold, brash, confident and sexy and never once apologized for being "outside the norm." I decided to come up with three "Maentras" that may help all of us take a cue from the legendary woman that was Mae West. And like the fortune cookie game you can add "in the sack" after each one, which can be a nod to Mae's naughty nature.



In 1926, Mae wrote the successful play Sex, which was deemed as morally corrupt and she was sentenced to jail for obscenity! Imagine being arrested for obscenity for writing nowadays? My blog would have probably put me in the slammer a couple of times! Probably for the excessive usage of the word "ladyboner." Mae was a big supporter of gay and transgendered rights and wrote a play called The Drag which dealt with the subject of homosexuality. Apparently the Catholic Church led a campaign against her at one point, and the FCC called her vulgar for a joke about getting splinters from a ventriloquist dummy! OH MAE! She did whatever she wanted and even though she was a "wild woman," Mae actually never drank or smoke. I think she found other ways to unwind...who needs a drink or a cigarette in your hand when you can be grabbing something else? WINK.



Not only was Mae as smart as a whip, she was stylish as hell and confident in her femininity. Her hip swivel was as alluring as her word play. I'm positive she would be able to seduce an entire monastery even if she wore a paper sack. You can't really say that about many people! Turn heads wherever you go, even if you are wearing Selenas-style leggings and a side ponytail (me right now FYI) No matter what you are wearing you betta work it. I think Mae would agree with me!



Although she never considered herself to be on the forefront of feminism, you can't deny she was and still is a major role model for women's rights. In her autobiography, Mae said "I freely chose the kind of life I led because I was convinced that a woman has as much right as a man to live the way she does if she does no actual harm to society." She demanded equal pay and was Hollywood's highest paid star in her prime. Don't let anybody tell you you can't do something. F those suckas boo. At the end of the day all that's gonna matter is what you did to be the baddest bitch on the block and that you are an inspiration to yourself.

Here are some famous quotes by Mae...

♥ "Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided." ♥

♥ "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." ♥

♥ "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." ♥

♥ "I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked." ♥

♥ "I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported." ♥

♥ "It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean." ♥

♥ "It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men." ♥

♥ "Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins." ♥

♥ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ♥

♥ "When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." ♥

This one is especially hilar for us bloggers:

♥ "I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you." ♥

Mae West was truly an original and someone who had a undeniably grand effect on culture that is still apparent today. She was the ULTIMATE ORIGINAL BADASS BROAD!!!!! Thank you for being my fairy godmother in this wild ride called life.

Which badass broads have inspired you?



agentlover.com

The Look of Love

Love comes in all shapes and sizes, right? On this, a day full of hearts and hugs, let's remember all those we hold dear - our mums, besties, sisters, the co-worker who will cover your shift at a moment's notice and (let's be honest) our pets.

Who's your Valentine this year?

May I Interview You?

Friends! As you may know, I'm terribly excited about my new interview series - True Story. So far we've talked to a former stripper, an identical twin and a lovely lady who dates a man 20 years her senior. I've got a few other friends working on answering some questions but I'm quickly running out of connections. So! I was wondering if I could interview some of you! Or somebody you know, perhaps?

I'm looking for these people:

* someone who is in an arranged marriage
* a female prison guard

* a female body builder
* someone who went through Katrina or 9/11
* someone who's transgendered

* a Wiccan

* someone who's undocumented (living in a country illegally)
* professional circus performers

* a (recovering?) junkie
* someone who attends (or attended) an ivy league school
* someone from a family with 8+ siblings

* a beauty queen
* someone who fought in Iraq/Afghanistan

Is that you? Or someone you know? If it is, I'd be ever so grateful if you'd let me pick your brain! You can choose to remain anonymous (if you'd like) and we can do it all over email, so you have plenty of time to write up crazy witty responses.

Any other interviews you'd like to see?

Valentine's, Shmal-entine's. Let's Mardi Gras!

Did you hear that Valentine's Day around the corner? I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed - I've been too busy practicing my bead-catching skills and considering my stance on flashed boobies. This year, I'll be ringing in V-day in Lafayette, Lousiana in the company of two good friends from college and several thousand drunken revelers. If Valentine's Day isn't exactly your bag, you'll be thrilled to know that this year, Mardi Gras falls on the same weekend. So if you're single, living far away from your lover or are just all "Damn the Man! I will not be told when to celebrate my love!" why not throw a Mardi Gras Party?

A few ideas:

Rock Some Cajun Cuisine
Louisiana has some amazing food. You could make a king cake (a circular cake served only during Mardi Gras that has a tiny toy baby hidden inside it) or some gumbo. Beignets (delicious donut-y desserts) are amazing. If all that's a bit heavy for you, here's a light version of Jambalaya. Or you can just crack open the first crawfish you see.

Turn Up the Zydeco. Or Lil Wayne. Probably both
I loooove me some zydeco. Who doesn't love music played on washboards and accordions? You can listen to the zydeco channel on Pandora or even learn a few dance steps from this youtube video.

If you're not into zydeco, put together a play list of New Orleans rappers - Lil Wayne, Lil Romeo, Master P. You can even throw in a little Trent Reznor!

Toss Around Some Doubloons and Beads
Let's just be honest. Aren't we all pretty sure that Mardi Gras is about beads and boobs? Your party won't work unless you have plenty of necklaces to wing at your friends - whether you make them flash is your call. You can also up the ante with some chocolate doubloons. Cute!

Put on Your Mask and/or your Boobie T-shirt
Pick up some blank masks from your local craft store and let your friends go crazy with glitter and feather and glue guns, ala fourth grade. If you're not into showcasing your goodies, you can at least communicate the intention with one of these awesome (read: tacky and hilarious) bikini t-shirts.

Head Out To the Pub. (Or Hunker Down With a Movie)
For better or for worse, Mardi Gras often equates to ingesting large amounts of alcohol. So now that you've danced your ass off to some Weezy and you're wearing a mask, beads and a ridiculous t-shirt, why not pile into a cab with all of your friends and hit the town?

If that's not quite your speed, why not hunker down with some gumbo and watch one of many movies set in New Orleans?

Have you ever been to Mardi Gras? How will you be ringing in Valentine's Day?