This is one of many True Life interviews, in which we talk to talk to people who have been through unusual/interesting/challenging things. This is the story of "Michelle," who got involved with a married man. I'm sure many of us have strong feelings about this sort of behavior, but I appreciate Michelle's candor. Please keep your comments respectful.Can you tell us a bit about your romantic history?
I've had a few boyfriends, my longest relationship was for 2 years, we lived together but we were at different places in our lives and had bit of an awkward drawn out break-up which left me pretty down for about 6 months or so afterwords.
How did you meet this man that you had an affair with?
We worked together, what a cliche! I'd always seen him at work but we didn't really start talking until I'd split up with that long term boyfriend and started going out more with people from work. I realize now also that he never paid me any attention when he thought I was 'off limits', as soon as word got about that I was single he was around a lot more.
What did he tell you about his wife and home life?
He was completely upfront about it because we were just friends in a large group of work colleagues, so it was completely normal for him to mention his wife and a lot of the people in the office had met her at various work parties so I was aware of her.
How did you rationalize the affair to yourself?
I have absolutely no idea. My father left my mother for another woman so it's really hard for me to face up to being that 'other woman' because I've seen how destructive it can be.
All I can put it down to really is being so upset from the break up that I wasn't thinking straight but I know that that's no excuse. He paid me a lot of attention when I was feeling particularly low and at first I found it easy to pretend that she didn't exist.
Did your friends or family meet him? Did they know that he was married? If so, what did they think about it?
No. Nobody knew about it but an extremely good friend in the office. I didn't want to tell anybody because I didn't want to be the centre of office gossip, I obviously didn't want her to find out, and I was ashamed I guess.
I'm not going to lie though, the secrecy thing really makes it more exciting. It's a lot easier for me to understand why it happens so much now - it's really easy to get caught up in that excitement.
How did you two keep it a secret from his wife? Did she ever find out?
Ugh, terribly. She was away working about 2 weeks of each month so I thought nothing of going to his house. When I think about it now it was a ridiculous arrangement, I spent most of my time waiting for him to call and ask me to go over because we could never make plans because obviously she would come first. I even found myself cancelling plans with friends just in case he'd call. How pathetic is that?
He only ever came to my house once. He'd rung me and asked me to go over and I refused because I was getting so sick of sneaking around. An hour later he was at my door and at the time I was swooning and trying to fool myself he was into me. Obviously he wasn't because first thing the next morning, he couldn't have left any quicker.
How did things end between the two of you?
This is what I'm most ashamed of. I went to his house while his wife was away, we watched a movie, had dinner, went to bed. We woke up to the sound of the front door closing because she'd come back early to surprise him. I was absolutely terrified and grabbed my clothes but he wouldn't let me out of the room and made me hide behind the door just before she walked in. He managed to convince her that they should go out for breakfast and then I left after they did.
On the way home he called me apologizing profusely and I asked him never to contact me again, and he never has.
What did you take away from this relationship?
That I will never ever get involved with someone who's already in a relationship again. Ever.
I really had to look at how he'd treated me too. It's so easy to get swept up in someone you like who's showing you attention. But if it's only on their terms it'll make you feel pretty crappy, pretty quickly.
From mutual friends, I've since found out that I was only one in a long line of women he'd cheated on her with, and that last year she caught him with someone else and divorced him.
What advice would you give to others who are interested in someone who'd 'taken'?
If someone had told me to stop seeing him I would have said that I knew what I was doing, and that I was strong enough to handle it, but I really wasn't.
It's a very difficult thing to share a partner with another woman and to not be able to discuss the guy you're seeing with your friends. You'll be doing all the couple-y things alone, and checking your phone a lot. We did have some fun times but nothing that I'd ever reminisce about.
I'd just say, if you're considering it, it really really isn't worth it. There are a lot of single guys around and would you really want this guy to leave his wife for you, knowing what he's done to her?
Have any of you been involved with someone who was taken? Any (respectful!) questions for Michelle?
I've had a few boyfriends, my longest relationship was for 2 years, we lived together but we were at different places in our lives and had bit of an awkward drawn out break-up which left me pretty down for about 6 months or so afterwords.
How did you meet this man that you had an affair with?
We worked together, what a cliche! I'd always seen him at work but we didn't really start talking until I'd split up with that long term boyfriend and started going out more with people from work. I realize now also that he never paid me any attention when he thought I was 'off limits', as soon as word got about that I was single he was around a lot more.
What did he tell you about his wife and home life?
He was completely upfront about it because we were just friends in a large group of work colleagues, so it was completely normal for him to mention his wife and a lot of the people in the office had met her at various work parties so I was aware of her.
How did you rationalize the affair to yourself?
I have absolutely no idea. My father left my mother for another woman so it's really hard for me to face up to being that 'other woman' because I've seen how destructive it can be.
All I can put it down to really is being so upset from the break up that I wasn't thinking straight but I know that that's no excuse. He paid me a lot of attention when I was feeling particularly low and at first I found it easy to pretend that she didn't exist.
Did your friends or family meet him? Did they know that he was married? If so, what did they think about it?
No. Nobody knew about it but an extremely good friend in the office. I didn't want to tell anybody because I didn't want to be the centre of office gossip, I obviously didn't want her to find out, and I was ashamed I guess.
I'm not going to lie though, the secrecy thing really makes it more exciting. It's a lot easier for me to understand why it happens so much now - it's really easy to get caught up in that excitement.
How did you two keep it a secret from his wife? Did she ever find out?
Ugh, terribly. She was away working about 2 weeks of each month so I thought nothing of going to his house. When I think about it now it was a ridiculous arrangement, I spent most of my time waiting for him to call and ask me to go over because we could never make plans because obviously she would come first. I even found myself cancelling plans with friends just in case he'd call. How pathetic is that?
He only ever came to my house once. He'd rung me and asked me to go over and I refused because I was getting so sick of sneaking around. An hour later he was at my door and at the time I was swooning and trying to fool myself he was into me. Obviously he wasn't because first thing the next morning, he couldn't have left any quicker.
How did things end between the two of you?
This is what I'm most ashamed of. I went to his house while his wife was away, we watched a movie, had dinner, went to bed. We woke up to the sound of the front door closing because she'd come back early to surprise him. I was absolutely terrified and grabbed my clothes but he wouldn't let me out of the room and made me hide behind the door just before she walked in. He managed to convince her that they should go out for breakfast and then I left after they did.
On the way home he called me apologizing profusely and I asked him never to contact me again, and he never has.
What did you take away from this relationship?
That I will never ever get involved with someone who's already in a relationship again. Ever.
I really had to look at how he'd treated me too. It's so easy to get swept up in someone you like who's showing you attention. But if it's only on their terms it'll make you feel pretty crappy, pretty quickly.
From mutual friends, I've since found out that I was only one in a long line of women he'd cheated on her with, and that last year she caught him with someone else and divorced him.
What advice would you give to others who are interested in someone who'd 'taken'?
If someone had told me to stop seeing him I would have said that I knew what I was doing, and that I was strong enough to handle it, but I really wasn't.
It's a very difficult thing to share a partner with another woman and to not be able to discuss the guy you're seeing with your friends. You'll be doing all the couple-y things alone, and checking your phone a lot. We did have some fun times but nothing that I'd ever reminisce about.
I'd just say, if you're considering it, it really really isn't worth it. There are a lot of single guys around and would you really want this guy to leave his wife for you, knowing what he's done to her?
Have any of you been involved with someone who was taken? Any (respectful!) questions for Michelle?
34 comments:
Sadly, I can relate to this story. I was involved with an older married man. Only, I was so swept up by the attention he gave me that it completely crossed my mind to ask him of his relationship status. He was on vacation and we hooked up, but it was after he left that i asked him and he confessed he was still married. I was crushed, but he told me that we could still be friends and what we had was special. A few months later I found myself traveling to visit him and later feeling lower than crap when he insisted we rent a hotel room for the night. The next morning I told him it was over, that it was wrong. I haven't heard from him since.
A friend of mine had an affair w/a married man.. She broke it off because she thought of the family he had... For me, I couldn't.. the thought that if he fooled around on his wife w/me would mean that one day he would fool around on me w/someone else... Why perpetuate the issue? Too many people are involved who would get hurt especially the 'other' woman..
My best friend spent 5 (7, if you count the on and off dalliances) years with a much-older married man. He had twin daughters. He was her boss at work. He visited her at college, sneaked around all over creation, had her in his house (in his marital bed), used her for money... And worst he told her he'd leave his wife after a long-term breakup in 2006. When my friend didn't immediately let him move into her apartment (she didn't trust him fully, good on her, right?) he went back to his wife because he said he "needed someone to take care of him." Pathetic, childish man. But the worst part is, my friend hasn't dated anyone since. She thinks he "ruined" her conception of relationships. (Her words, not mine.) After reading this article, I might have something more positive to add the next time we talk about him. Thanks :)
Sadly, I too must say that this story hits way to close to home. I saw a guy on and off for about a couple of months. At the time I was going to college and working as an RA and he was a local living in town. My job had a lot times where I was on call so he would come over to where I lived a lot and I never questioned it. There was never an official break up. Towards the end I started questioning things because something just didn't add up right. He swore that their wasn't any one else and worst of all he had my friends fooled as well. Shortly after I moved to California to finish college. It wasn't until then I found out he was not only married but had at least 5 children. My friend who worked at a video store met his wife when she came in to rent a DVD with his video card. Argh. I felt lower than life and sick that I would do that to another woman even though I had no clue he was married. Afterward he called me several times, but I had no interest in talking to him and eventually change my number. What happened really turned me off from dating for a very long time.
Sadly, I too must say that this story hits way to close to home. I saw a guy on and off for about a couple of months. At the time I was going to college and working as an RA and he was a local living in town. My job had a lot times where I was on call so he would come over to where I lived a lot and I never questioned it. There was never an official break up. Towards the end I started questioning things because something just didn't add up right. He swore that their wasn't any one else and worst of all he had my friends fooled as well. Shortly after I moved to California to finish college. It wasn't until then I found out he was not only married but had at least 5 children. My friend who worked at a video store met his wife when she came in to rent a DVD with his video card. Argh. I felt lower than life and sick that I would do that to another woman even though I had no clue he was married. Afterward he called me several times, but I had no interest in talking to him and eventually change my number. What happened really turned me off from dating for a very long time.
Unfortunately, sometimes life throws you a curve ball. Passion is a powerful emotion.
Ultimately it is not as simple as saying it's the other woman's fault, it is equally about the man. It is, of course, not the best of circumstances to fall in love with someone already involved in a relationship but then sometimes things happen. It will undoubtedly have consequences for all involved though. Ultimately it will settle in the category of life experience.
I posted about this very subject awhile back, and got some very heated responses. I think what you've shown us, Michelle, is that having an affair isn't a black and white issue. It's not just about getting your rocks off with some other lady's husband. It's not an issue of "conquest" or the thrill of the chase. In reality, it's a deep, complicated maze of emotions and missteps and I think many women, like you, can honestly answer "I don't know" to why they were even involved in an affair in the first place.
Thanks for sharing this story with us. I do hope that you've had a chance to open up to your friends and get some support.
I don't know how to feel about this interview never once using the word "cheating" to describe this relationship. I don't want it to be a sensationalist thing (e.g., "Ooo, the dirty slut! I must read this post..."), and I know you've posted another interview about a triad relationship - but I think this interview promotes the idea that all men having extramarital relationships are cheating scuzzbags. It's not until about halfway through that I was sure the relationship was secret.
I'm part of an open marriage currently and it's incredibly difficult to explain to people that, yes, there is a difference between cheating and having multiple partners. Purely being married does not make the guy off-limits or trouble; sneaking around, lying, and imbalance in the relationship are always red flags, regardless of the guy's relationship status.
JoAnna, that's a super interesting point! Something most people (myself very much included) don't think about.
I've never been "the other woman." I've only been the woman who was cheated on, so obviously, I'm going to feel very strong negative feelings toward people who have affairs with people who are in a monogamous relationship. It's a greater offense if "the other [person]" knows about the wife/family of the cheating man.
I suppose I have some degree of tolerance for people who have a one-night-stand with a married person for reasons I don't understand, but the affairs that go on and on? IMO, that IS a black and white issue: the married person is not happy with their spouse, they should leave, no matter the cost to themselves--yeah, a divorce is gonna happen, but really, the married person (AND THEIR SPOUSE) deserve it.
I'm coming from a very different place than most of the people who have commented so far - I was the wife of a man who cheated on me with another woman. We are divorced and I'm marrying a wonderful amazing man in a few weeks so I have some distance from the whole experience but reading this definitely took me back to the severe pain I experienced a few years ago. We're talking severe, debilitating, couldn't get out of bed for several days pain followed by months of sadness and anger.
I used to ask myself over and over again why a) he cheated and b) why the other woman would be involved with a married man. Thank you Michelle for your honesty as to why a woman would get involved with a man she knew was married. It sounds crazy but I really did appreciate hearing the other side of the story.
I've been on all sides of this situation, and all of them are complicated.
The person who is really at fault is the person who's going outside their relationship if it's supposed to be monogamous.
Letting another person treat you badly, in any relationship, is a personal thing - not a "cheater" thing. It is possible to have an affair with a partner who treats you well & fairly, visits as often as you'd like and does things with you.
Would I do it again? No. But not because those relationships were all bad, but because I'm in a different place in my life and I want a partner who is easily accessible and can be present more then my ex was - because of his kids, not his wife.
People choose their relationships, it sounds like this guys was a jerk, and she did the right thing - ended the relationship - when he acted like a jerk.
This story made me feel sad, but thanks for having the courage to share it.
I don't see any appeal in being with a man that would treat women (either his wife or his lover(s)) that way, no matter what kind of temporary rush it might give. In that situation no one wins.
At the very least the wife, who was probably hurt the most ended up getting out of a bad marriage.
Happiness is when what you think, say, and do are in harmony. There are kind and honest men out there. Let's stop wasting time with the ones busy living a lie.
You can't help who you like or have a crush on but as an adult the decisions you make should be based on morals. People make mistakes, and anything can happen once. I'm sure Michelle has learned from this. I think the best thing she can do now is be upfront about her past in new relationships. I would want to know if someone I was interested in had been through something like this.
"It's so easy to get swept up in someone you like who's showing you attention. But if it's only on their terms it'll make you feel pretty crappy, pretty quickly."
That perfectly describes my most recent fling with a guy. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and was kind of seeing this guy (he wasn't taken though), thinking he'd want more eventually, but I soon realized he didn't, and it made me feel like crap.
I appreciated this story. Hopefully it will help women to stay away from this kind of crappy situation.
Been there done that.. unfortunately. Never again!
It's been said, but I really commend the honesty of the interviewee.
Another poster mentioned this, but as much as I think it's unethical to have a relationship with someone who is in a monogamous relationship (whose partner does not know about you and would not be okay with it if they did), the person IN the marriage/partnership who has made vows and promises is the one who should be primarily at fault. I just think it's really obnoxious the way that many times fingers are pointed at "the other woman" when it is the person who broke their vows who should be chastised. Nobody cheats unless they choose to--as evidenced by the fact that this man went on to have other extramarital relationships that ended in divorce.
So all in all, interesting thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
I am currently happily married. A couple of years ago, before my husband and I were married, we went through a difficult time in college and I chose to fill the hole created by his being busy with grad school all the time with another man, who was (thankfully, in a way,) single. He and I never slept together, but got dangerously close.
After a couple months of sneaking around (she's right, the secrecy of it all is elating) I broke it off with him. My now-husband knows everything-- I told him almost the whole story a couple months before we got engaged, and added all of the details before we were married. It is so hard to admit the details because you can see each word you say is hurting the person you love most.
I am glad my husband knows everything that happened, because I know that he still loved me enough to forgive me and marry me. Above all, I am so glad I never got far enough to sleep with that other man. At least it happened before we were married, so I have learned my lesson damn early and will never do anything to jeopardize our marriage.
The lesson to take from it all is, if you don't like the other person enough to break it off with the first person to be with them, you clearly don't like them enough to end/ruin your relationship, which is where you'll end up by cheating anyway. Take advice from a girl who knows, you'll end up feeling like crap; save yourself the trouble.
I don't know how I feel about this, but I appreciate you doing this interview and Michelle's honesty. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to be with someone just because they're paying attention to you and being nice at a time you need it, though the idea that someone could KNOW someone is "off limits" and allow themselves to cross that line isn't something I have an easy time "getting," you know? On the other hand, I really feel for Michelle knowing that this man, judging from his marital status and other affairs, used her. It's a terrible thing to do to another human being.
I think one of the big lessons here for anyone thinking of being the "other man" or "other woman" is that if a person is willing to cheat on their S.O. WITH you, s/he'll probably cheat ON you. I've always believed this, even though it's one of those things people won't believe is true in the moment.
Boy, can I relate to the stories in here. I've been all sides of this situation as well. It all felt like a bad movie, really... with the same three characters at the center of the storm and a small supporting cast.
It's not something I'm proud of, but I cannot change the past, so I choose to learn from it. I have been honest with the necessary parties about what happened, and they have been straight with me, so thankfully trust has been restored for some time. I am marrying the love of my life in two months, and I never want to be with anyone else.
screwdestiny:
""It's so easy to get swept up in someone you like who's showing you attention. But if it's only on their terms it'll make you feel pretty crappy, pretty quickly."
That perfectly describes my most recent fling with a guy. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and was kind of seeing this guy (he wasn't taken though), thinking he'd want more eventually, but I soon realized he didn't, and it made me feel like crap."
This made me think of the same situation that happened to me. I was seeing a guy and the whole time something seemed very off. Turned out he was dating another girl and some of my friends even knew. So that made me feel really really good.
I'm not getting any pleasure from your pain; but I hope you feel better like I do to know other smart girls can fall into the trap :)
I had the opportunity, sort of. About 8 years ago I met a man. We exchanged information and one day we set up a lunch date. At the lunch date he confessed he was married - it was a marriage of convenience - but he was sleeping with her and though he tried to explain "open relationship" he felt she did not understand, due to the language/cultural/religious differences. He ultimately decided to go home. All we did was eat lunch & talk. He did contact me last summer, out of the blue, divorced now. We met for drinks (and I brought a friend along) but nothing bloomed.
That's all there really is to it - *shrug* I have no real emotional investment on the matter.
Doesn't anyone think The Other (woman or man) has some kind of obligation to let the cheated-on spouse know, at least after the affair ends?
Personally, I think if you get with a married man - that's your choice. I wouldn't judge it. But if after the affair ends, you allow the wife to continue a false marriage on in naivete, then that's the one of worst things you can do. It kinda makes me sad no one has brought it up. I mean, sure it's not really the other woman's problem...but it kinda is a problem she helped create.
When I was living overseas I ended up living with a man (from another country entirely) who eventually proposed to me. When I was seven months pregnant with his baby he disappeared, and it was only several months after going back to my country and having the baby that I found out (through friends) that he had a wife and three kids back in his own country.
I didn't even know he was married when I was with him, but the consequences have certainly showed how something that seems fun can have huge consequences on other people's lives - I've got a little boy who'll never know his father or three half-siblings, and I can only imagine what it's like for him knowing he has twice now abandoned women with his children (even if he did go back to his wife and three kids, he DID abandon them when he was living with me).
What a great topic, but reading the interview made my stomach turn with anger.
Thank you for posting this story. Affairs are not always black and white and I think that this story captures that perfectly.
As with others, it hits close to home for me as well. But in my case, both my husband and I went outside our vows. For us, it ended up saving our marriage and reminded us both why we wanted to be together. But the emotional roller coaster that was involved in the process was so not worth it and draining.
Wow, this is an amazing story. I've never been involved with anyone who's married, but I've seen how hurtful it could be. My dad cheated on my mom when I was born, of course I don't remember that but I've heard a lot of stories that have really left me in shock. I've also seen the other side. Last year my cousin (who's almost like my sister) got involved with a married man and, although I didn't agree with it, at one point I found myself defending him instead of telling her to end it. In the end I saw how much he was hurting her and tried to convince her to leave him, but she wouldn't. It wasn't until he changed his number and only called her private that she stopped seeing him.
Although it seems so obvious to stay away from these situations, sometimes you just can't help it and I totally understand Michelle, even if I don't agree with what she did.
I've been working out my own reasonings for entering into a similar relationship a year ago. Although my friends are supporting, none of them really "get it" and I can't help but feel their silent judgment at times. I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their stories and making me feel less like the spawn of satan and more like a normal, albeit confused, person who got involved in a very messy, very effed up situation. <3
Dear all... I am finding myself in this situation right now. I fell in love with a married man who was in a very bad relationship and decided to divorce 2 years ago. We have been together for 1yr and 4 months. I loved him so much! I still do and recently I asked him for a break... When will he serve her with papers for divorce if she is such a witch!! He has 4 kids, and also is 20 yers older than I am. Wow what a wonderful man, I love him so much, caring, loving, he says that he finally found the ture love he always wanted to have. Someone to love him like I was his dream from the begining. That he never was able to love the way he wanted and neve felt love until I came along... we had a beautiful affair... beautiful... but i was so lost in him that I fogot me... I don't knwo why but I asked for a break, not a break up to date others, some time to think about everything... well, it did not go well! He said how could I? after all this time, after he is going to divorce to marry me! Girls we were talking marriage! (am I still to think that he was?) I asked for a break and what he told me was that I will never get over him... that he does not do breaks... either i am in our out!... that the more time will pass, the chances of us together will be 0... so after the night I asked for a break... i still txt him a little bit here and there.. and actually wanted to see him to talk about this again... until I received a txt msg from him one morning stating to never txt him, call him, or contact him because he cannot bear being without me... he said that he will always love me and that he wishes me happiness I truly deserve.... that's all??!!! The man who said he will marry me? I am his eternal love? Did not even fight for me? He had it good, me 28, no kids, accepting everything, him still living with the witch?? what? how? all I asked was for sometime to sort it all in my mind? He just let me go... because he did it for me...
I read all your stories and its helping me cope with everything, but I am blaming it now on me. That I asked for a break.. I want him to fight for me for once.. I want him to show me his love that he has for me... I see nothing...Can anyone comment if I should contact him and ask to talk or just let it go?
Thanks so much for posting this interview. It happened to me last summer. It was a crazy experience one can get so easily swept up in and can take months and months to get over, even after it has all ended. I finally deleted all traces of him from my email, phone, and any means of communication. It is so freeing.
Lesson learned = never again.
I am happy to learn others have been able to deal with all the questions and emotions these relationships pose.
Thanks!
Wow! I can easily say I can relate to this story very well. Im dating a guy who is a local police officer in my neighborhood, who is married and has one daughter. Before we started dating, we had a conversation in the past about if we dated, and if it would bother me that he is married. I honestly only saw him as a friend, so at that time I said no it was ok. Also, the fact that he is 16 years older than I am, at first I felt a little weird of the fact of dating someone much older than I am (Im 31and he's 47).Well before we started dating he was completely honest about his marriage.He told me if it was not a problem with me we could date. I had just broken up with my ex, so I kind of felt like I needed someone to be there for me so I would not feel so lonely. I agree to date him, but its been only two months and Im already feeling like I dont mean anything to him. I get jealous of the fact that his wife is first, and obviously I know I cant say anything if I totally agree to this, but it just bothers me .I feel like I have to wait for his calls all the time. He only sees me when he has off duty time. Ive been to his house twice, and I felt hurt knowing that Im in someone else's house which i dont belong in. It bothers me that I might be the reason to a broken marriage and hurt his family. At the same time Im thinking about my happiness with him. I dont want to say I love him but Im afraid that will happen. I even brough up that subject to him. We had a few issues due to some problems im having with my ex and some other friends that I have who he does not like. That is always a problem in our relationship.lately we've been arguing a lot, also because of that he has trust issues with me but I dont know .I feel confused and alone at time. I wonder if he does like me .He tells me that his wife and him are hardly intimate, and that all he is doing is waiting for his daughter to go to college so they can get divorce. I dont believe it, but I really dont know what to do. I dont speak about him to any of my friends. They dont know anything about the fact that he is a married man. Only that he is my partner. My family also knows about him ,but they also dont know that he is married. I feel so confused and alone..
I am the married man in this whole scenario described by the original poster, except I did not disclose that I was married. What started out as a flirtatious conversation ended up in a serious relationship! Not getting enough physical attention compounded the issue. Finally (after a almost a year) I was unable to continue this dual life and I broke up. The girl I was with did some excellent PI work and called my wife and told her what a D bag I was. My wife and I went through a bad year, numerous counseling and our relationship got better. We survived this for six years and my wife died suddenly in a automobile accident two years ago. I was a wreck. About two months ago I started dating again (I am 47 Years old) and I met a real nice person. I told her my whole story and even about the other woman (who is a real nice person also) and how I had jeopardized my marriage in the past. I went and gave the woman (Maggie hereafter) I was currently dating her (the past girl friend’s) cell number so that they could have a chat and get to see and hear about the negative side of me. Maggie made the call and they met at a coffee shop and talked for a couple of hours. Maggie was told how my behavior had completely ruined the other girl’s life and lot of details. Maggie and I are still seeing each other (it had been two months) but I do sense that Maggie is cautious. I am not sure where our relationship will end up, but I have tried to atone and make a fresh start.
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