True Story: I’m Dating a (Significantly) Older Man

What's it like to be dating an older man - 20 years your senior? According to this woman - it's awesome! // yesandyes.org

This is the story of my friend Marie (29) who’s dating Mike (49).

How did you guys meet?
We knew each other for a year before we started dating. We met playing pick-up soccer. Now, I must mention that his son played in those games as well (he was 12 years old at the time).

I instantly categorized Mike as “older-guy-with-kid” and therefore, undesirable. Not to say that I didn’t consider him good-looking, I just didn’t consider him. Period. You know, due to the child thing.

Was there an instant attraction?
Initially, I just have to go back to that first reaction. I saw him with his son and although I very much consider him attractive now, it just wasn’t in my realm of comprehension at that time.

Did you ever hear that story about when Columbus landed in the West Indies and the natives were not physically able to see the boats because nothing like that had ever entered their reality before? Well, sort of like that.

Have you dated men who were significantly older than you before?
No, but I suppose I have been attracted to older men in the past. I was the girl with the crush on Harrison Ford while my friends all went crazy over whoever was in the latest teeny-boppers mag (at the time, most likely Joey Lawrence).

I also liked men in positions of authority… teachers and sports coaches (if they were in their 20s or 30s)…. Not ALL of them mind you, but there was definitely an appeal.

Have your age differences created any problems?
Well, not yet but we are approaching a time when our future will take more of a leading role in the decisions we make. For example, he will be retiring long before me and although it’s still a long way off, our savings and where we will be settled at that point are things we need to plan out.

Also, I still have a good 10 years of potential child-bearing in me, but we have yet to seriously think about going down that road. And I don’t want it to be too late for him in terms of really enjoying that child growing up – if we do decide to take that path.

Has anyone hassled you about your age differences?
No one has ever given us a hard time. But do take note that we also live in a small place where I would say “unique” relationships are a little more frequent than average.

Neither of our families really cast a second glance (well, in front of us anyway… who knows what they had to say amongst themselves when we left!). I think it makes a difference now that I’m nearly 30. If I was in my early 20s, I think my mother would have been worried. I’ve done a lot with my life in the last 8 years and I think she knows I can make a good decision.

What are the benefits to dating someone who’s more settled into their life?
Ah, I do like this question as there are so many benefits! Although, these may be due to the person I am dating rather than a function of his age. But anyway, for starters –

1) Chivalry!
I’m not saying everyone who spent their teenage years in the 60’s will pull the chair out for a lady (in fact, I would have assumed the opposite) but after nearly 3 years, I still get the door held open for me almost every time and the words “hello gorgeous!” uttered every day!

2) We don’t have double the melodrama.
I admit I am still a bit consumed by my own selfish concern of where I am on my life’s journey. Thankfully, when I have a panic attack or a hissy-fit, I have someone to show me the bigger picture and level me out. I know I won’t have to counsel him for similar reasons later down the road.

Being with someone solid in his career, with a little more life experience and rationality has certainly brought me down to earth more than once.

3) Guidance.
I think having the courage to admit that the life-path you are on is not working and starting again is very inspiring. Being with a man who can talk about how he felt in a given situation and what he did to turn it around is not only impressive but consoling and helpful, even if my situation is not entirely the same. It’s much better counseling than the blanks stares I received in past relationships and I don’t feel quite so alone with my problems.

4) Sharing.
Be it chores, time or the other dish that I wanted to taste at the restaurant we are at, I love to share and I think this is a skill many men develop with age. Or perhaps it’s comes with having a child. Anyway, we have absolutely no issues with sharing the workload or compromising on any issue.

5) Gratitude.
My boyfriend, or partner, (whatever title you like) has made some big relationship mistakes because he didn’t take care of the ones he was with and wasn’t really “present” enough to realize that the person he was with was not the right person.

He learned the hard way and now that he has someone that fits perfectly, he shows me every day! That hasn’t waned a bit in the time we have been together and I have good faith it never will. In return, I show him the same respect and I find it really grows our love every day.

What are the challenges?
Nothing really, other than some of the long-term things that are a challenge to any relationship. Saving for the future, whether or not to procreate… all these pink elephants transpire the age gap! What luck!

I think the real challenge is finding a place that accepts the two of you together. Right now we have that but who knows what a move would bring? I don’t doubt we could be happy elsewhere, but I do foresee an awkward stage of “friend-making” in a place that doesn’t know us!

Any advice to ladies crushing on someone a bit older than them?
If you feel that it could work and you think the sentiments are returned – go for it! And don’t let society’s pressures of “right and wrong” get to you too much.

Hopefully, you are comfortable enough in your own sense of moral and ethical values to be able to judge if the relationship is appropriate or not (for example, I would imagine age can mess with a workplace romance or it could be difficult to date the father of a kid you teach).

However, as long as you are not taking on the role of a mistress or getting yourself involved in some other sticky situation, remember, you only live once and the best opportunities are not necessarily the most obvious ones.

Have you dated someone significantly younger or older than you?

P.S. How to get over a break up + love your ex enough to leave them alone

204 Comments

Anonymous

I’m 21 and just married my handsome 42 year old husband it is magical but there are plus and minus to any relationship are trials and tribulations for example he wants a baby ASAP and I already have a three year old baby girl and I feel I also need to have a normal 21 year old life or I’m gonna regret my life and I don’t want that plus he has a 12 year old who who needs work wit accepting me as his step mom

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Shenee Wical

I’m 25, my fiance is 47, going on 5 years now, and have a 3 year old together. J.w how is your relationship doing now? Does it kind of seem like he’s controlling or very jealous or do u still get to do your own thing. I’m very happy and love my man too much, but don’t wanna regret “wasting” my whole 20’s, and not getting to live life. Just sit home w baby, no friend, just my momma my kids and my man! – hope I’m not getting to personal, I just want to kno if this is normal while dating an older man. Please if u have the time let me know how its going for you . . .becsuse honestly I don’t know if I can stand this “isolation” to the house much longer. And I understand he’s older been there done that, but I haven’t and I want too! So do u two go out places together, or does you man seem to just want to sit at home and: relax”
*** thanks for listening to my vent. . .hope to here from you soon
-Shenee M.

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Lawgirl

I love it. My fiance is 30+ years older than I am (I am 37), but we just fit together somehow. We didn't intend for it to be this way. When we became friends, we both said we didn't want to fall in love, but we did. And now I can't imagine it any other way.

I know that I am setting myself up for heartbreak in a few years. But I have never in my life been so loved or so happy. I love him with all of my heart. And it is worth it, to experience this love.

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Anonymous

it even hurts more when your older although you letting yourself up for a let down but it’s best to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

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Tom

Well said!!! I’d rather take the chance of totally being into someone and the relationship failing than experience the pain of no relationship and lonliness!

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Melody

I am engaged to a man who is 70. I am 49. He is the love of my life and I can’t imagine my life without him. I would rather have this type of love than to never have experienced it. We met 2 years ago. Both very active and excited for our path together.

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Amy

I am 24 years old and dating a 31 guy but need helpful advice his friends are trying to break us apart and we both really like eachother a lot i haven’t met his friends we have only been on 6 dates sadly he listened to them but he still likes me he was following me on his birthday called out to me but i ignored him i figured playing hard to get is my best option please advise

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John Doe

My, My Amy…
I am an old guy, 67… I dated a woman 17 years younger for 12 years, 18 years younger for 6 years, 2 years ago a 19 year old for almost 2 years and am in a new relationship with a 23 year old with a new baby. The first two mentioned were true love… great relationships… 1st one went back to her ex, the 2nd died… The 19 year old was a lost soul, the new one is definitely looking for security and a chance to get her life right… I bring all this up because I want you to know I have walked around the block many times, and ask that you have trust in what I say…
You have never met the “friends”…I doubt if his “friends” even know about you. He is telling you this because it keeps him safe…he has an easy way out if needed. If his friends actually have an influence on who he dates or likes, you don’t want him anyway, his friends, mom, uncle, neighbor will be determining what your life is like… I would bet you have been sexual…big mistake! This guy is not ready for a relationship, but gets sex by pretending your special… you probably are, but he doesn’t know that. what I am about to say is the most profound thing you probably have ever heard…You have heard it, in many ways, from mom, dad, aunts, teachers, ministers at church, etc….but hopefully this will bring it home… Men and women are different…no matter how much “they” tell you different…The hard drive is clearly not the same… A woman wants love from a man…#1, period. How do you get true love from a man… You said you figured you would play hard to get…good idea, but you have no idea how it words, or why. A man wants sex from a woman, period… He doesn’t really want love, at least not in the hard drive… Your mother told you not to give in…don’t have sex right away…what’s that all about? You should never give sex to a man in less you get the love you want… A man will give a woman love, because he wants sex… Most young men have no idea that getting sex is supposed to be a trade for giving love. When a woman gives sex before she gets love from a man, she will not get love… He may grow to love her, but he will never be “in love” with her. Life is not a gas station. You don’t have to pay for the gas before you get it…. In life, that would be a scam… Pay for love with sex in advance, you will never get it… Women are not waiting to give sex. Single moms, massive abortions and a rising divorce rate is the result….
This guy sucks. you are only 24 and will probably have many more guys before you find a good one for you… 7 years older is not the problem…. 17 years or 25 years older is not the problem… You are 24 years old and have learned an incredible amount in that time… I am 43 years older and have continued learning at the same rate as the first 24 years… I have learned so much in that extra 43 years, and am trying to give you my wisdom earned by my experiences… One of the reasons younger women like old guys! Think, think, think…and tell your mom she was right…. Sex too soon sucks! and don’t call me grandpa…lol

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Mischa

I wish to have read your comment few months earlier. Ladies, please listen to this wise soul and spare yourself a broken heart.

I was 26 at that time, he was 54 and we almost never met. It was during an oddly cold day of summer in July. I was particularly sad. I was walking around in the old port of my city and as I was heading to a lovely Auberge/Restaurant I enjoy, I realized to my great disappointment that it was closed. I decided it was time to leave but in the midway, I went back to make sure the restaurant was closed. Why? I still ask myself this question as I NEVER do such thing of “double confirming” unless it’s for school/work.
That’s when I met him. It was on a one way street up a small hill. He had just parked his car and he was getting out of it. I saw him from far but with distracted eyes. He was on the opposite sidewalk, going in the other direction. At that moment I thought: “This man is going to speak with you, careful.” It was almost 10PM and I have always been cautious when walking alone.

“I like the way you walk.” he said …with the most wicked-charming smile of all. 6’3, in great shape, white shirt and dark gray trouser. I thought he was a tourist, a lost tourist as I encountered many that day. I asked him if he needed help and we instantly connected… it was brutal, ferocious but as weird as it might sound, my gut feeling was screaming to run away, to stay far from him.
Should have listened.

Life gave me the opportunity to save myself from a broken heart: I accidentally gave him an expired text+ number but he had given me so much information about himself that anyone could have easily found him through social medias.

With time, I understood what my gut feeling detected: he presented himself as a business lawyer who acquired a software company and he seemed quite proud of that. The alarm system of his car went on while his right hand was ALREADY inside his pocket. I remember he stared at me a second too long before saying: “well, I’m glad that works” and turning it off… as if he was expecting me to turn around so I would see what kind of car he drove. He was basically selling himself.

He literally just gave me his phone and asked for my number. He showed all the signs of a man use to getting things done his way and rarely asking for permission. I was just so happy to have spoken to someone that day but sometimes I wonder if my sadness made me vulnerable that day and if it was that obvious that my body language betrayed me… as I was the perfect prey for him
“I like the way you walk.” This scares me sometimes.

But nonetheless, it was the loveliest encounter. He pointed out that a street musician (named Robin) was playing “La vie en rose”. For the first time after my divorce, I allowed myself to feel some romance and it was indeed very romantic… which breaks my heart even more today.

Before separating paths that night, I asked him if he was wearing “Bleu de Chanel” because he smelled divinely good.

To my surprise, in one step, he came close to me. I was so shocked because during our whole talk, I made sure to have kept a secure distance with him. He would from time to time advance forward and I would move backward, making sure he wouldn’t corner me against a wall and yet…
So he was inches from me. He bent his head to my level (I’m much shorter than him), slightly stretched his neck and said: “Actually, it’s Terre d’Hermes. Smell it.”

I thought : “WTF???? Who does that?” but I still smelled his neck anyway… Without knowledge of it, this perfum was going to haunt me.

At that point, I was still convinced everything he said was lies and that he was just a tourist looking for a naive woman. As we walked in separated directions, I asked him on how many girls did that trick worked before. He reply with all his charisma: “I always start with friendship.” and walked away.

This was his first lie and deep down, my intuition was YELLING to me: ” DO NOT TRUST HIM.”

Here I’m, months later, writing at 2AM a long comment on the first time I met him. That’s nothing compared to our first date which literally lasted 48hours, non-stop.

G.F.B, I fell for you… hard.

He has no idea how I feel about him and I’m too proud for that. I’m ashamed to have allowed myself to love him, to have been naive, to have let my guard down. I’m ashamed in many ways.

That said, I was straightforward with him and asked what he was looking for, what he wanted from me. It was during the 8th hour of our first date. We were next to the water, the sun was rising. It was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen. He replied: “I just want to make you happy.”

It sounded off, weird to me but I didn’t know if it was because I never allowed myself to believe someone for fearof getting hurt as I trust is something difficult for me to handle. I asked him to stop manipulating me. Him candidly : ” I am not manipulating you… but I could if I want to.” One of my guard fell down. I felt vulnerable so I told him that trust is something earned if he wanted me to believe him. He replied that he saw things differently, that to him, everybody gets his trust and it can only go down. Another guard one mine went down.
Now, you must know that I come from a scientific world where I have always carefully walked and meticulously calculated my path. Besides my ex-husband, I never had a boyfriend. I’m no prude but am an extremely proud person. Every risk is calculated, I don’t allow emotions and having this 54 year old sharing with me -this very bizarre view of life where you trust people – felt alien to me… but so good.

He hit the nail in the coffin of my guards when he said and I quote: “I am not much of an analyzer but I think you want to be loved but were loved in the wrong way. ”
Such a cheesy/generic thing to say but he had no idea how accurate it felt for me. I now understand why “honesty is such an important quality in his friends”. So he can manipulate them better.

At that precise moment, I gave up. I gave up my walls, my guards. I gave up those post-divorce years of scientific-cautiously-built-castles around my heart. I didn’t know at that time but he slowly made his way into my heart.

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miss. chief

My boyfriend is…nine years older than me. It's not as large of a gap but I'd still say significant.

The only difficulty that's age-related that I can see is that every once in a while he uses his "telling his kids what to do" voice on me, which isn't cool, but I think just comes naturally, as he has two (every second weekend and the summer holidays), and he works in a teen center a few days a week. It's been the source of a few arguments.

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Anonymous

My boyfriend is nine years older than me to..but how do you do it..? doesn't it bother you If you tell him your opinion about something, let's say a situation. You give your side of the opinion but he still see's it as if your acting like a kid and don't make your own decisions like he goes and tells you, that you are always asking him what to do and then he just leaves u in the position on what to say next…even if you just told him :/ cause i hate that…and I really don't know how to answer..because I give him my best answers..yet it seems it either bothers him or I'm not mature enough to understand the situation… Ive dated guy's 2 years younger than me and didn't really ever worked out because I always found them immature. And now that I feel I found the right guy for me It seems as if to him..I'm not good enough with my mentality. But I give it my best so he knows I can handle it..but still I can't seem to understand that part from him…If you know how to answer this..do you think you could give me some advice 🙁 I'd really appreciate it..ty.

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Anonymous

If you’re having communication issues at this stage, it’s going to get more worrisome in the future, reconsider your options very carefully…don’t WASTE precious time, that you will never recoup.

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rmegurl4498

If you’re having communication issues at this stage, it’s going to get more worrisome in the future, reconsider your options very carefully…don’t WASTE precious time, that you will never recoup.

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Kylie

You called him, “the right guy” my advice? Find someone who takes your opinions into consideration and rather than bringing you down mentally, he sparks debates with you to challenge your mentality. You should want to be with someone that helps build your confidence not kill it.

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Old Man

You have issues. And you put too much emphasis on age & not the actual person. Also, I think this much older man knows exactly what he is doing when he plays this game with you and you feel immature. You said you found the man that was only 2 years younger then you immature but you get upset when this much older man makes you feel the same way. Yeah, you've got issues. And low self esteem.

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Anonymous

My husband is 20 years older. first he was caring then he got too caring now he is controlling enough to beat me!

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Francine

Okay this line right here: "I was the girl with the crush on Harrison Ford while my friends all went crazy over whoever was in the latest teeny-boppers mag"

That was ME to a t! I loved this post so much because I've always dated older men (my current boyfriend is 36 and I'm 25). I've just always been more attracted to them, physically and emotionally. Thanks so much for this post!

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A.T.

Right before I moved to Korea, I was dating a man 16 years older than me and it was fantastic, the best relationship I've ever been in. I find that there's so much less drama with older men – I'm not sure whether that's because we had different friends or because we just weren't concerned about the same things that younger/same-age couples are. I have to say too that the break-up when I left was completely drama free… we were disappointed, of course, but it wasn't dramatic or heart-breaking, it was just the right choice for us.

Plus, if I may be so bold, sex with older men is so, so, so different (and better, in my opinion). Older men know what works and what doesn't, and they're not afraid to tell you what they like and what they want to try. That confidence leads to a lot of wonderful moments both in bed and out.

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Becky

I went through a phase when I was 20/21 where I casually dated older men (32, 38, and 41). It never got serious with any of them, but they all treated me very well. I've always been mature for my age, and it just came naturally to date men in their 30s. It was definitely not a bimbo/dirty old man situation, but thinking back 20/21 is an awfully young age to be dating men who are in their 40s. It was a valuable experience for me, but now I'm in a relationship someone who's only 1 year older than me, which goes to show, age ain't nothin but a number! 🙂

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Anonymous

My boyfriend and I got together when I was 23 and he was 37, now I am 26 and he is 40. At the time, as far as I knew, neither of us believed in marriage, or wanted to have children. It becomes an issue when you begin to think about these things. Being with someone older has such amazing benefits, the maturity of men in their twenties certainly leaves something to be desired. One great thing about dating older men is that it makes you realize how important it is to savor this moment. Of course we never know how much time any of us have, but a fear of being alone in your old age is also a consideration.
When he and I first started dating, two people I was working with had significant others 10+ years older than them, them being in their early 40's and their significant others being in their 50's. They both told me if they could go back, they wouldn't do it again. I also know someone my same age whose father was 75 when we graduated college and it created a lot of issues for her and her mom, who was a lot younger. He got alzheimer's while we were in school and past away a year later. It's difficult to think this far in the future, but they are things to consider if you think you might bring more people into the picture.

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RMb

this post is awesome! it's interesting hearing about people in relationships similar to mine (my husband is 37 & i'm 26… he's closer in age to my parents than he is to me). i think when you love someone, age is nothing more than a number. 🙂

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Lilie

thank you so much for this post — it speaks to my heart. it's always reassuring to hear from others who are in a similar situation, and have managed to find a way to make it work. my best friend is a man 29 years older than i, and though we are both crazy about each other, the so-called obstacles are still keeping us from being in a relationship. this gives me hope though 🙂

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Beckbee

My fiancee is 17 years older than me. (I am 31) Reading this was like taking a step inside my own head. While there are questions about kids, retirement, etc…I don't consider them any more of a challenge than issues you have to deal with in a relationship with someone closer to your age. You never know what is going to happen, but when you find the person who "gets you" and makes you happy…I say live and love!

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Anonymous

@Beckbee, 17 years older then you and you are already 31? You're going to have problems with him. Sex is going to dwindle fast & you'll lay there wondering what you got yourself into. you say it doesn't matter now but it will in a few years. It may even be happening already & you're just ignoring by saying sex doesn't matter or you're not marrying him for sex or whatever. But you'll get tired of it. Eventually. But I think you'll probably be in your 40's yourself before this realization kicks in. You'll be middle aged, stuck with this old man.

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Anonymous

Last summer I had a fling with a guy who turned out to be twenty years my senior… with a son who was only one year younger than me! We didn't realize the huge age difference at first… I guess I acted a bit older than I really am, and he acted much, much younger than he really was! We got along quite well, and funnily enough, he ended up acting like a much younger man when the relationship ended. I guess some people never change! Either way, I think I would defiantly want to be older before I try anything like that again! It's kind of weird when one you express wanting to do something and having your partner say, Oh, I did that a long time ago… When I was your age I did this and that… (eg. Me: I'm getting turntables! I'm going to be an awesome dj! Him: Oh, I had turntables in the late 80's! It's fun!")

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O. Joy

Hmmm…..
I suppose if I was 20 or 30 something, it would be kind of interesting. But since I'm a 49 about to turn 50 girl, I am very sad that so many men can't appreciate what women their age have to offer & don't even look at us any more. I don't want to date a guy who just goes for young women & can't appreciate a mature blossom!

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Anonymous

O. Joy, If the guy only goes for young women, he's not seeing you as an option because you're not young. So saying you don't want to date him is pointless when he doesn't even see you as an option. Also, I don't know you but if you dated much older men when you were young, it kind of perpetuated this. Now you know what women his own age were feeling. But it's 2014 now and women are dating younger men and loving it. If you don't want to date younger men then stay single or come to blogs like this to complain.

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Eden

I dated wildly the summer after I turned 22; the youngest man I dated was 23 and the oldest was 35 (and the guy who ended up being my boyfriend was right in the middle – 28).

What I learned during that summer: age doesn't matter! Chemistry is what's important, and it's a complicated and elusive thing. I think that if you're lucky enough to find someone with whom you have amazing chemistry, you should go for it, regardless of the disparity (or lack thereof) in age.

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Anonymous

i hear about the older man/younger woman relationship quite often. but i wonder if this happens the other way around as much? i don't see many younger men with older women.

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Goatygoat

My husband is 21 years my senior, and we both knew right away that we'd be together permanently. This relationship does have some built in challenges, such as knowing that he'll be retiring long before I will, but also with many lovely bits that you can't really understand unless you've been there.

I never really thought I'd get married, and I've never wanted children of my own, but now I've got a wonderful husband and a fantastic 19 year old stepdaughter.

Funny where life takes you, if you let it.

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thefunkypuppy

My fiance is 14 older than I am (23 and 37). We met at work, actually, right after I had moved to a new city after college. We clicked instantly and within a few months he had become the best friend I'll ever have. We spent every weekend and most evenings together- he even took care of me for a couple of weeks after I had surgery.
About a year after we first met, we finally started dating; first we had to break through both the age barrier and inter-office romance stigma. We moved in together quite quickly thereafter, and started our family with a puppy!
Neither of us has ever been married before, and we're both on the same procreation timeline. Before I met him, I wasn't sure if I wanted children at all- especially as I'm on the outset of an incredibly demanding career; however, I absolutely can't wait to have children WITH him. Raising the (now 16 month old) puppy together has assured me more and more that we're going to make a great parenting team- no arguments, easy compromises and effortless task sharing.
He currently has the job that I'm going to school for 8 more years to get (plus another 6 years of training after that!). I'll come out with an MD and a PhD; most guys I've dated have been intimidated by just my ambition to achieve these credentials. Instead, he's my biggest supporter and fan. He knows how much time and work this takes- and how much dedication- and he'll be there with me every step of the way.
As an aside, my older brother (36) is married to a slightly older woman (39), so it works both ways. In my experience what's been important is finding someone who sees the good in you even at your worst, and makes you a better and happier person for it. And if he (or she!) is a sexy pediatrician, all the better!

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Anonymous

Funkypuppy, I find it interesting that your brother's relationship with a woman three years his senior even qualifies to be in the same ballpark as relationships in which women are paired with decades-older men.

Do you know if your brother sees his partner as "an older woman"? I wonder if, as a 36 year old man he'd consider being with a 50 year old woman thereby having the same age spread as in your own relationship?

I dint mean to put you on the spot, but your post and examples made me super curious! Congrats in finding a partner who is supportive of your ambitions, both personal and professional.

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InnyVinny

This woman speaks the truth!

It's good to know I wasn't the only one crushing on full grown men as a pre-teen =P

My guy is 19 years my senior and we get along juuuuuuuuuust fine!

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Jennifer

Such a timely post! It was rather difficult to read. Partly because I hate to admit that I could be, or tend to be, the one in my circle of friends with older men interested in me. And partly because it churned up some of the unanswered questions I (and some of my friends!) have been trying to ask of me about what's going on with such-and-such. (Nothing, at this point.) My friends have been frustratingly supportive of my potential pursuit of someone 15 years older than me (I'm 23, he's 37) – I'm the only one who doesn't envision anything coming out of this, primarily because of the age difference! Indeed, it's unnerving to read the comments and see quite a few people in identical situations (identical to potential future me, that is), particularly the one pursuing a Ph.D. with a partner who also has a Ph.D. (almost the same as I).

Well, wait and see what happens, I guess. (And I'm so paranoid about blabbing this to people that I'm not even signed in as my usual poster identity.)

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thefunkypuppy

Final anonymous poster,
I see what you mean about the age difference of 3 years between a man and a (slightly older) woman not being in the same time scale to the 1-3 decade differences discussed here. I didn't mean to equate them, but someone had asked if the converse ever happens and that's the closet thing I've seen.

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courtney

Thank you so much for sharing this! My boyfriend of almost a year who i am truly in love with is 25 years my elder. I do get a lot of grief about it from close family and friends. They ask me what am i thinking and ask,how could i be attracted to someone who could be my father? They question my love for him and don't agree at all. I also hear alot, "That's like a 25 year old dating a new born!" but they don't understand my position or relationship. It's been hard sometimes, almost like having to choose between my family and the one i love. but we've stuck it through and even though he doesn't always get the approval or respect he deserves from my family or friends, he's stuck it out and shown me that he truly loves me. i'm so happy with where i'm at now and i've learned to be a bit more accepting and opened minded with people in different situations. i've learned that it's not so much about age, but very much so about maturity and your level of understanding and the place you're at in your life. I've made the best decision of my life by choosing to ignore what society says and following instead, what my heart's telling me. I don't know where i'd be without him now and i fall more in love with him every day. i am living proof that unusual isn't always bad.
Courtney

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Anonymous

It is nice to hear that an age difference of 25 years can work for people who truly love one another. I am in love with a man who is 25 years older than I am. I have tried, many times, to not feel the way that I do, but I have come to realize that it is so much more than a feeling. I have true, unconditional love for this person and it is so hard on my heart to keep it to myself. But there are many reasons why I have to keep it to myself… at least for now. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story! Maybe someday… 🙂

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Anonymous

To anonymous– Go for it! My boyfriend is 27 years older than me and our relationship is the best I've had. It's truly different dating someone older because they just get it.

To Courtney– thank you so much for posting this. It's so reassuring to hear that some people are going through the same thing as me when it comes to getting questions and judgement from your family, or looks when you're out in public. But when you're in love it doesn't matter. Thank you again!!

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ashley

I was looking for responses that were more up to date, can’t believe I found some!

I am 23 and my boyfriend is 47. Our love story is a wild ride, and we’ve both tried and failed numerous times to fight it, and as he put it he “can’t run anymore”. We love each other so much that it hurts, knowing I could be without him in my life one day. It’s crushing. But I do not fore see myself leaving him because of it. Sometimes I get anxious or depressed thinking about not having my best friend, but when I read threads like these, it helps me. I think it would be better to have spent the time loving him than not at all. It has been pure bliss.

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Eleanor

Oh it is so nice to read that other people have a similar experience to mine. I'm 22, my boyfriend is 37, and he has two daughter, 11 and 13. I'm closer in age to his daughter than I am to him. I love him, but because of our age difference and that fact that I'm not interested in being a stepmother to his girls, I don't think we'll ever get married… not to say we won't be together for a long time, because this is the best relationship I've been in. I hope as I get older the difference will see less extreme- we started dating at 20 and 35, and that caused quite a stir in my family. I'm still unwilling to take him on trips to see my parents because I'm afraid of them judging him or me. Thanks for addressing this issue, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

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Anonymous

Eleanor, here's the thing. You said this is the best relationship you've been in, but at 22 how many relationships have you actually been in? And why would a man with 2 daughters, 2 kids, be dating a kid himself? Personally, I just think you ought to be in college if you're not already and dating an up and coming guy who is hot and on his way to becoming something. Not some older guy with a bunch of kids. You'll just get tied down. You sound tied down already. I think you think you can find anything better so you are dating him.

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Anonymous

Okay so I love this post! I can totally relate to this, but unlike all of you I'm only 15 years old. I fell in love with my swim coach who is probably in his 20's. At first it was physical attraction, but then I began to love him. I get a vibe that whenever he shouts my name he means something. I don't know if he'll actually fall for me. I don't know much about him, but I love him. It's not infatuation. I mean I just broke up with my ex who "cheated" on me and I regret going out with him because it was so awkward. After that event I never felt like falling for another guy. I don't know what to do because I'm a bit lost. I truly love him and I want to tell him, but I'm afraid that he'll cast me away. I will keep my feelings to myself if that means I can remain close to him. There is also a part in me that want to tell him. Please email me back with advices and responses: brycecrz@gmail.com (email for blogging). Thanks!

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ShellyNu

My dad was 19 years older than my mom; they met when she was about 21/22 and he was divorced, and they were together for over 30 years when he passed away. I am truly blessed to have grown up in a home where, even when they loathed each other or were on completely different pages, they were truly the loves of each other's lives. It was always a kind of love that was different to anything I've ever seen. It's a bugger though, because now I want that kind of relationship and bond, and it's set a pretty high precedent. 🙂

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Audrey

Okay so I am loving this post. I am in love with a man who is 20 years older than me. However there is the added complications that originally he was my dads colleague. He is now my colleague as dad has retired and we are very much in love. This is a top secret affair although a few friends know. He has two boys, they are 18 and 17 and I am 20…..Also he has a girlfriend…I know i know this is an awful admission but sometimes i just have to tell someone..namely you lovely people. So now he wants to leave his partner and be with me. I am very maternal and traditional and he is more than willing to give me the life i want. Marriage and babies. I just have the fear that if it all fell apart what a mess it would be with his sons and also would this work in the real world?
Hmmmmm….

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Anonymous

Audrey, i'm in a very similar situaton. (Im 23, he's 40. He helped raise his girlfriend's kids who are 22 & 19) it can get heart wrenching at times. But my biggest piece of advice is dont push the breakup for his current girlfriend. If things dont end well between them, its possible it will come between the two of you in the future.

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Carmen Graves

Anonymous, it's like, you're 23 and young. You're chasing behind some middle aged guy with kids & a girlfriend already? Can't you do better then that? Aren't there single guys out there your own age without kids & a significant other you can get interested in? It just doesn't make sense!

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Anonymous

I've been with the man I love who is 17 years older than me for 35 years. We fell in love and have stayed in love. I cannot imagine my life without him– ever. We will be together until death parts us.

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ashley

That is beautiful. Love is love. Love him forever, never leave him. Keep him always in your heart.

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SassyRN

My husband is 35 years older than me. He is a physician at a nearby facility. I also work with himas a nurse. Actually, that is how we met. Heinvited me numerous times out to his horse farm. Which by the way, I grew up riding and showing. But, I was quite reluctant. Not only did we work together, but he was much older and I really wasn't into older men. As the months passed, I grew more drawn to him. Especially, when I saw how caring and compassionate he was with patients. Finally, I visited his farm. We have been together for 3 years, married for 1. We hsve a faithful 4 month old daughter and could not be happier. You can't put a number on happiness. No I'm not weird, just honest.

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Anonymous

hello there i was looking at this site because the love of my life is 29 years older than i am..we plan on getting married some day soon but i was feeling a little scared about the age and all..must say your story has helped thank you

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Anonymous

To Sassyrn..your post is from years ago, but so on target for me right now! Thanks for sharing.

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Christine

Funny, this was posted a day after my birthday! 😛

Anyway, I love this girl! When I first met my guy, he thought I was at least 18, but I was actually 16 at the time. When he found out my age, he apologized and walked away very fast. haha. I stopped him and told him to calm down. We became very good friends after that. We never talked about restricted things. Everything was rated G.

I'm 18 now and we've been going out for a while now. I'm as happy as I can be(=

PS: He was 38 when we first met. Now he's 40, but when I look at him, I don't see/think of our age difference. I see the man I love. He's the only person who can keep me sane(=

PPS: We haven't had sex yet. Every time I attempt to take our clothes off, he stops me and always tells me he want it to be "perfect" and that he doesn't want me to think he's taking advantage of me. Like hell, at this point I WANT him to take advantage of me. LOL.
I love him!!!<33(=

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Anonymous

I just met a guy from a dating site; he's 56 and I'm 31. He's gorgeous, stable, and sweet beyond compare. So far, we get along great and have a lot in common. He has three sons from a previus marriage whom he adores and he would like more. He lives in Colorado and I live in Minnesota; we plan on traveling to see each other sometime next month.

I think I'm in love!

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Anonymous

I love this post!
Ever since I was 15, Ive had a crush on this guy who was 8 years older than me (we go to church together and our families know each other well) . I grew up loving him all my life. But he would never date me cuz of the age difference. Last year our mutual friends took us on a double date, and we have been dating for a year now. Im now 21 and he is 28. I love every moment I spend with him and I know its cliche to say.. but to me its like a dream come true. I don't only love him, but I respect him. our families are pretty accepting and most of my friends are too but they see how happy we are for each other. But one of my friends is very rude to him, dosnt even talk to him and also talks bad about our relationship to other people. I really dont know what to do. I guess I never really thought about the age difference since my parents also have 10 year age difference and they are happily married. I love this post and the comments other people have written as it has given me the strength to deal with my friends bitching attitude.
|Thank you guys

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Anonymous

I feel the same way idk what to do im a teen my parents would kill me if they found out iliked someone older

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Anonymous

i applied for a job on a farm, and my boss and i liked each other right away, though we knew it was risky. he's 21 years older, we dated for a few months, and well we got pregnant which i have to admit scared the both of us, and didn't know how to take it, but he felt that we should get married, so we did. it was a rough first 2 years, me being only 24 at the time. but as time went on, i learned to love and appreciate him so much, he is the nicest, most patient man i've ever met, and good looking too! we are now married 3 years and have 2 children. what i enjoy the most is that we are 100% honest with each other and trust each other 100%. also, we communicate all the time, which i find so important. We have our highs and lows, but he's my best friend and we do have a love for one another, despite the rough start!

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KAKA

I am 20 years old and Im dating a man that is 37. I found my soulmate..We come from different eras,but me as an inividual stuck in the past.He is everything I've always wanted and could ever imagine. Age is definently just a number.

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Anonymous

I am 29 and my partner is 47. We've been together for 4 mths now and we've known each other for about 5 years. We first met while doing the same course during undergrad.

I must admit, a few years before, I would have never dated someone this old. Recently before dating him I had my cap at 10yrs my senior (following on from my dad who is 10 yrs older than my mom married for 45yrs). His charm made me fell for him and I use to wonder why he had to be this old. But he respects me and treats me well, better than my previous 2 byfriends who were 4 and 5 yrs older than me. I know he loves me dearly. He makes me smile, laugh and we have fun together, but sometimes I go off on a tantrum when the age difference comes to my mind. I'm slightly afraid if I can handle what my family, friends and people will say when they see us together. I even bug him about his looks if I see that he is gaining a bit of too much weight.

I am with my masters heading to pursue my phd and he is comfortable with is bachelors being a supervisor in his present job. I am not at all worried about that, but again, I am afraid of what others way say. He has no kids and my 6yr old daughter gets along well with him. Reading this article and other comments makes me feel a little bit confident in the choice i've made, realizing that it is love that matters and nothing else.

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Anonymous

It is so refreshing to know that I am not alone! I am 26 and I'm dating a 50 year old man. We have known each other for 4 years and decided to actually get involved in a serious relationship 2 years ago. We are so in love with each other, but I haven't had the courage to introduce him to my family.He is only a few years younger than my parents and I fall in between his two daughters and I am scared about what my family will think.I come from a Christian household and so my family has certain views on relationships. I didn't plan to get involved with someone so much older than me and now I can't imagine my life without him.

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Anonymous

Well. Iam 20 and My boyfriend is 32. I met him when I was 16 in My neighbors' house while I was wearing my wendys uniform! 🙂 We never talked, but i would see him almost everyday because he was always at My neighbors house. When i turned 18, he asked me for My number & we talked for a few months. I KNEW he was the one since I saw him. We have been together for 2 years & 6 months (wedding plans!!) Iam still a virgin and he respects me too much. Finally Yes since society is so blind and My friends and family typically date guys their age they are so ignorant to realize that two people could Love eachother. Age is just a number not a crime

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Anonymous

I have been seeing a man who is 30+ years older than me since April and it has worked it out great. It has been difficult to get past the awkward glances and stares at restaurants.I am slowly getting used to it and just trying to not care what others think.

We are by no means your typical couple in the South, and most people think I'm with him for money, (he's not rich!) I am with him because he treats me better than any guy my age. I'm 27 and I'm tired of the lack of maturity in my generation. I've dated lots of men in their late 20s and 30s with no luck.

I met him last year in September and never thought it would turn into something romantic. My feelings changed after many dinners and walks spent together and just talking for hours. My family has met him and accepts him. He wants to introduce me to his family and I hope to meet them soon.

Only time will tell if we get married, but I'm excited to see what the future holds.

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Anonymous

Love this article, I'm 19 just recently became involved in a 34 year old man. I, already, am happier than I have ever been. I knew I always was more attracted to older men, but now that I have one it makes even more since. He has 2 beautiful children, while they do not want to see their father hurt again, they seem to accept me greatly. Especially the younger one! I take alot of time up with them treat them as they were my own. There are so many things that are much better about an older man. We both come from the same, small town in the south so yes, people talk, alot. But we just have to ignore it because we are happy and that's what matters. Wouldn't ask for it any other way. I'm excited to see what life holds for the both of us…together!! Lastly, we have not actually had sex yet, he is so respectful and loves me for who I am, not what I have!! 🙂

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Anonymous

My soul mate was brought to me by the universe and he is 39 now I am 25. It has been an amazing and indescribable experience so far and reading posts like this re assure me that our age gap can be acceptable in public, with family and friends. I still have some walls up from a previous horrible relationship but now that I am sober I trust that my decisions are true honest and from the heart. We love eachother and our bond cannot be broken. He has been divorced has one sweet child in her teens. I think about the future a lot now because hes almost 40 and i seriously wanted to have at least one kid of my own. Since its so early in the relationship I think i'm going to let God decide when is a good time to bring it up but it's driving me crazy, like I just want to know if he would be interested in having one? Everything else is so easy and amazing and I would not give that up for anything or anybody! He feels the same.

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Anonymous

I'm in love with my man his 52 and and I'm 24 I just sometimes feel like I'm innoying him but I just always wanna be around him..
Some times I feel why is he with me when he can find him self a women that he can have a full conversation with and not just having a "banta" but deeply I am into him … Can't see my self without him I guess

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Anonymous

@Anonymous, you have very low self esteem. Why would you want to "always be around him" if he makes you feel like you're annoying him? Hmm?

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Anonymous

My boyfriend is 28 years older than me (im 19) and it feels incredible we have the same sense of humour we both understand each other and can share things easily and i love him with all my heart and cannot see myself settling with anyone else xxxx

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Anonymous

I was on google searhing for relationship advice on dating someone that is 20 years older me. I too am 29 and he is 49 (which I like to say a young 49) is so special to me and I am falling in love with him. He is established and knows what he wants. The main thing I love about him is that he is such a man about everything he handles his business and does not play any games. The love making is amazing too and I feel so connected to him on a whole nother level. I really enjoyed reading this post!

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Anonymous

I'm currently dating a wonderful man 30 years my senior, and it works fantastically.
The only issue that we've had so far is my father being rude about our age gap and telling me that I can't see him- but my mother thinks he's wonderful and my friends think he's funny.

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Anonymous

I am 36 and boyfriend 66. I never would have imagined being with someone that much older but it was attraction at first site. Now I think I am in love with him. The physical aspect is so amazing, it absolutely blows my mind. Its been 5 months and although we come from different worlds, we seem to fit perfectly together. I have not told my parents yet, he is their age and I am know they will not approve. But I am an adult and am happy.

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Anonymous

The above post could have been written by me… I am 47 and my lover and friend is 81. He cannot be my boyfriend because he is still married… but we are very much in love, even though the relationship has no future. I am however enjoying each encounter, each time we meet to go out, each time we dance together (we belong to the same dance club)… Funny thing is that no one of our mutual friends know about it…. the age difference and the fact that he is still married are the biggest no… also he was in the army, was a diplomat and a count… I am an art history major working as a language instructor… But then… we compliment each other beautifully; There is friendship, passion, laughter and then companionship… and when he looks at me with his piercing blue eyes, I just melt!

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Alison Grodsky

wow, i know this is an older post, but i stumbled upon it at the right time. I am 25 and my boyfriend of a year and a half is 48. I am a serious over-thinker and worrier, in all aspects of my life. I really could see myself being with him, but i feel no support for this relationship in any aspect of my life outside of my boyfriend himself…until i read this post. My friends and family dont get it ( and i dont blame them, i can understand where they come from), his kids dont really like it, since they are close to my age. We had a dinner with his children (18 & 20, both live at home) to ask them how they felt about me living there also. We didnt expect them to be thrilled, but we werent prepared for them to say no. This article gives me hope to not just run away from my relationship.

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Anonymous

It is going to be hard w/o support and even harder if his children do not support the 2 of u being together. My children think my GF (20 yrs my junior) is great, thier dad is happy and thay love me and said Go for it! Being on ur own w him and having the children isolated will be a greta challenge, good luck!

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Brieana

I really did enjoy this post. I am in a weird situation with an older man. I am 22, he is 39. We met a couple years ago, hung out, started seeing each other. I was really enjoying him. I really liked this guy, and we were seeing each other for a couple months. I was 19, he was 36. He didn't want to have sex with me, and I was confused on why. Our age difference? Was I too young? I thought he didn't want to pursue anything at all. So I left. I got into a relationship with another guy, who was older by 5 years this time, not 17. We dated for about 2 1/2 years and broke things off. After all this time, I still couldn't get "J" out of my mind. For those 3 years we would send each other an "update" of what was new. Now that I have been single for awhile I asked if he wanted to meet up again. After a few weeks of e-mails, we have been back to the same thing as before.

This time I had to ask him why? I was always sad about his no desire to have sex with me. He explained to me that he just has a fear of sleeping with people because he has doesn't want children, and or diseases. He had a pregnancy scare with his serious 7 year relationship ex girlfriend. I know I am only 22, but I have never had a desire for children, and as I get older I have had less a desire. BUT maybe one day I will want to that to change with the right circumstances, but I honestly don't see it. I don't know if I should take a chance on this guy. Not because we don't get along, we get along PERFECTLY. I just don't want to waste my time unless I am worth it.

I really like him, and we have been getting to know each other more intimately this time around, and I mean emotionally, not physically. I don't mind waiting, because right now we have no labels with each other. He respects that I don't know what I want, and helps me more emotionally then any other guy I have known. But can I really wait around again for the sex? He said it takes him 6 months to a year to get sexually involved with someone he is seeing. Is that reasonable to wait that long for someone you are really connected with?

Today I asked him how long has it been sense he has been in a seriously committed relationship, he said 11 years. Now, should I hold onto this and be the that special girl who breaks that cycle? And I am not exaggerating about his "sex problem". He was the one who brought it up and he thinks it's a problem, and wants to go to therapy for it. Is it because of his age as well? I hear that a guy when he get into his 40's (hes 39) can sometimes loose testosterone very rapidly. I really like this guy, and what he has to offer is what I really was wanting with the guy I had previously dated. I am in a pickle. What do you think ladies?!?! What should I do?

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Anonymous

I do not get it. Pregnancy, use protection, STD'd get tested, there is another issue here. I would get frisky with him and see how he respnds. Can you afford to get serious w some one u will have crummy sex with? If he has a probelm, menaing not physical it can usually be dealt with! good luck

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Candice

Briena, I know young women like to think they are so mature, but they don't seem to have much common sense or life experience. But especially common sense. Briena, are you sure this guy is not gay? I bet it's never even crossed you mind, has it? Or maybe something is wrong with him "down there". Maybe he can't get an errrection. Maybe he's transgendered and doesn't have a male part down there yet and is really a female down there. Have you SEEN down there? If he won't be physical with you it means it doesn't want you to see down there, so he's hiding something. Or maybe he's just NOT interested in you so he's giving you all these polite excuses, hoping you'll take the hint and get bored and leave. But you're still hanging around. I'm sorry. I think eventually he'll get tired of trying to be polite & send hints & just tell you (probably) to get lost, in so many words. It probably won't be that blunt, but he'll cut you lose somehow. I'm almost positive of that. I'm sorry but please focus your attention on someone who is normal and wants to be with you and have sex with you. End of story.

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Anonymous

I am a 25 year old woman dating a 49yr old man, its still very new, we'v only been dating for a month now. Iv hardly dated guys my age it never really works for me, but dis is d eldest iv ever went. M not sure wat to expect, I really like nd if he asked me to marry him I wldnt tink twice. Wen he asked me out he told me he had been divorced for 11yrs nd wants to settle down now.

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Anonymous

I am a 17 year old female currently pursuing a man who is 31. I am aware that this isn't exactly legal, however, it was a complete.. Surprise? Accident? One of the best I've made, seemingly. Anyhow, we started as friends and just talked and talked and he really likes me and I really like him. I don't know how I'm going to break this to my parents or introduce them. I'm so afraid of the awkward. I'm certainly waiting until after I turn 18 though. I don't want them to think badly of him or get a bad impression because he is such a sweet heart and complete gentleman. I'm happy to see 15 + year age gaps, I am not alone in pursuing the older man. They're just over all more accomplished and being the driven young woman that I am, I am certain that this is something that I want. He's stable, kind and more giving than any young, inn experienced boy could be and I love that about him.

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Anonymous

I am in a so call relationship right now with a 42 year old man and i am 24 it has been very interesting. I only dated two guys before him one was a young love the other was a 6 year relationship. Both of those guys was 2 years older than me. i feel like I am more happier dating someone older than me then aroungd the same age as me. We were friends 2 1/2 years before i even started dating him but he makes me laugh, hes very kind, and a good listener. But I really dont know if i would feel comfortable letting everyone know we are dating. Does anyone else feel the way I do??????????

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Anonymous

I have a boyfriend that is 19 years older than me. I am 26 and he is 46. We get along so well. We are like best friends. I am pregnant now. I did not mean for this to happen, but I can't change whats already been done. We been knowing each other for 1 1/2 years now. I sometimes wonder what other think about it. My boyfriend says "forget them, they are not living your life and they should mind their business". I guess love comes in mysterious ways.

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Anonymous

How lovely to know we're not alone going through this love roller-coaster together. I'm a 19 year old gal, dating a 45 year old man. I'm a Student in college and he's a Doctor and a Surgeon. I had an appointment and we both were not expecting anything, just 'another' day, and we both knew once we looked into each other's eyes (nothing else, but the gaze in one another's eyes) allowed us to be aware of what we as humans are capable of. As if within a stare of a gaze, we planted a seed and filled it lovingly with creation of devotion within each pause we took and smiling eyes… the love began.

By my second appointment he admitted how beautifully I carry myself, I smiled, and thanked him. I confessed to him, how his genuine smile, and presence is like a realm I have been dreaming of to have in life. He then had no words to put together, I smiled and remained at ease. He then asked, I would like to take you out to dinner soon, if that's alright with you? I couldn't help but to smile once more. I said, It would be my pleasure. And so we exchanged numbers.

~Eve

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Anonymous

He's divorced and has been for exactly 2 years. He has 4 children the oldest one is a boy 12 years old and the youngest one is a gal that's 5 years old. They're all so lovely and also fell in love with me. They always ask for me and want to show me what they made me in school. They're amazing kids. His ex doesn't approve of their kids loving to be with me so often. But she needs to grow out of it. Just as she chose to grow out of love with her former husband and cheated on him 3 times.

Well, it's now a couple of months, It's getting serious. So I went on to let my parents know about him. My step-father will not accept the fact that my soon to be fiance is a year older than my step-father. My mother has no problem with it, as long as we're both truly happily in love (which surprised me immensely!). My mother is 4 years older than him and she knows his age, and she understands me. As for my step-father he keeps telling me no, that he will never accept him. Because he thinks he's using me as if it were just a 'fling'.

If we were to marry this would be my first (and no, I have no kids). And I would never have sex until marriage. He knows that, and respects my every word. For him it would be his second marriage. Also, I came to find out he's Mormon, I'm not within any religion act nor system. I'm a highly spiritual woman, and believe in a higher power. He has been 'trying' to get me to become a Mormon. But I told him clearly, I would love also for him to know my point of view of life and everything you're capable of also. He agreed and loved how I explain everything to him, rather than create a meaningless emotional over-drive of an argument(like most other women/men do).

As long as you have self respect for yourself, meaning: you care for your body by what you choose to put in it and put on it. The more you take care your Goddess body and respect it diligently with grace; the more everyone will automatically take notice and be aware of how valuable you are. And not just that, but they'll respect you by noticing your grace of touch on anything and the way you know to control your posture, and tone in voice. Everyone with just your pleasant grace and mannerism will respect you by the words of choice in front of you and open doors for you, just as getting the chair ready for you to sit on gracefully before you sit down for dinner with them.

You must love your body and inner-self without limit, make YOUR love for yourself overflow upon your heart, in order to love another without end… lovingly without bound. You see, it comes to you effortlessly, just by welcoming grace within your every move and respect for yourself as to others (physically, emotionally, and the tone of voice) soon every one whom surrounds you at all times, will take notice and appreciate your presence more than ever.

You have control of your entire body including your emotions. Keep in mind emotions will always be there. Emotions love to be directed towards anything you desire. Therefore let that certain desire be something wonderful, rather than disastrous for you and the other person. Be a lady, and take thought of your every move you make. Take a calm pause every now and then and correct the word choice you choose for that certain person in front of you. Not everyone has your same point of view. So put words together in a way that is NOT insulting the other person. In order for them to accept what you have to say and understand what you plan on doing next.

~Eve

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Anonymous

I tried dating guys my age but usually have no luck. I want to try it before I completely just stop trying. I must admit I'm attracted to them but seems like the conversation is dry or the way the act or carry themselves. Drive's me to be very critical, not meaning to be. I had one prospective in mind but due to my strain of bad luck I may have lost the chance. It hurts. I mean I'm still pushing forward in life, by all means I wont stop due to some hurdles I'm much stronger than that. It seems that I attract all these older men I mean 35+ and I feel like I'm missing out on someone my own age.

Any suggestions/comments? Anything at this point.!

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Anonymous

Hi. I've read most of the posts here. Thank you. I'm in my mid 40s and my fiance is in his mid 60s. He's in decent health; I'm in perfect health. We've been together, in total, about 1.5 years. I love him, but I am very, very scared. Mainly about the liklihood or possibility of him getting ill and needing long-term care, and me spending the next 10-20 years of my life (till I'm 60) taking care of him and not being able to do anything. He has no money saved and only receives social security, so I throw on top of that fear the real possibility that I'll have to pay for all of his care, and bankrupt myself. Setting all of the lovey-dovey and positivity and "you can't predict the future" stuff aside for just a moment, I just don't know what to do. We've talked this to death, and I'm still not comfortable with the uncertaintly and the fear and the odds. I see a lot of posts on here with couples who are 20/40 or 30/50. But I believe when you cross into that 60-65 age bracket the aging really starts to become noticeable. Is there anyone else out there in the 40s/60s relationship that is also scared about the age/sickness thing? And if so, how are you handling it, planning for it, etc. Thanks.

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Anonymous

I have the same age gap with my mate and he is healthy and a young 63 with teenagers because he didn't have children until he was 43. They kerp him young and he still works the same job he's had for 40 years. Money is not an object or healthcare for us. He tells me I keep him young because I am always finding ways to reinvent the relationship. I keep him moving. No napping on my watch unless we have an early day. He is very sharp ( multiple degrees and still learning). I love his eagerness and yes we have to enhance our lovemaking with creativity and he is accepting and open to his limitations. I could not have a better companion, lover, friend, confidant and the understanding beyond measure. Love him like everyday is your last. My favorite quote…"perhaps caution in love is the most fatal to true happiness."

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Anonymous

It's me again (from the 3:50pm post above). I wanted to point out something that bothered me in this article: "What are the challenges? Nothing really, other than some of the long-term things that are a challenge to any relationship." Maybe it's because I'm so scared, but I couldn't disagree more. There are many, big, scary things that someone in a relationship with someone 20 years older has to be concerned about. Mainly the aging, sickness thing. That is why I said it might be a bit easier at 20/40 or 30/50 because some of these big, later-in-life challenges are hard to see with younger 'glasses'. I am very scared and could use some advice. Although I know that no one can tell me what to do except myself. 🙁

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Anonymous

Hi would you want 10-20 awesome years or any other amount of medicore years? Live in the moment. What if the younger person in one of our situations took ill? although the chances are lower it could happen! Enjoy each and evry moment you have in life, period.

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Anonymous

Reading this has made me feel a lot better, knowing its not just me. Ive just started seeibg a 49year old (im 19) we get on so well and everythings so easy between us. We havent told anyobe yet apart from his son that lives with him who i get on with really well. He makes me happy! 🙂

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Anonymous

Really enjoy reading this…my situation is I am 43 and the man I have been seeing just turned 70 and just retired. He is wonderful! He is a true gentleman, kind, thoughtful, craring and totally wants to take care of me…Its long distance and in the 2 months we have known each other we have only spent a few days together. I am in a healthcare profession and my fear is that, since he already has some very physically limiting health issues, he sees me a the person to care for him when he isnt able to take care of himself. I hate to think of it this way but its my fear! He has been divorced for 6 years and told me he had no plans to date anyone because he didnt want to be a burden to anyone he didnt want someone to have to put up with an "old, crippled" man…so now he is willing to have a relationship with me…makes me skeptical…I did ask him at onetime if he was looking for a "partnership" and he had a look on his face like "you read my mind"…I dont want to make a huge mistake….I am a very active person and there isnt really any way he can do the activities I want to do….should I compromise all that for a relationship such as this?

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Anonymous

Whaat a lovely story…and ya'll put me at ease because i can relate..am 21 and my partner is 38 and we are so much inlove that we hardly feel the age-gap.He understands me well and considering am an engineering student and he's an engineer,things just fall into place so well.we both have never been married and have no kids.

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Anonymous

I am 47 and in a relationship with a man 66. Almost 20 years. we were attracted from the moment we met but slowly acted on it. I had never dated an older man. Attraction has been great for me and him from day one. It is challenging in other ways as he is retired and I am working. He is in a different place in his life. Causes the biggest problem that I see after 2 years.

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Anonymous

I assert:

As far as romance between adults is concerned, chronological age, means absolutely nothing..Especially in the 21st century and beyond. Why? All of the intangibles aside, like values, maturity..etc ( which are the most important aspects in any romance by the way..), technology will solve practically all of the "physics" / the physical challenges of "age gap" relationships within the next 30 to 40 years:

* Regenerative Medicine / Tissue Engineering ( Google or YouTube: Growing Organs, Printing Organs, Regenerative Medicine, Tissue Engineering..)

* Genomics / Genetic Engeering / Genetic Therapy

* Nano-Tech ( nano size devices, machines in your blood stream, providing you with real time bio-tats on your smart phone, repairing your cells, getting rid of pathogens..etc )

* Computer Science

All of the above disciplines are merging together and within a few decades from now, say, 2040, 2050..Your "old geazer" boy friend who's old enough to be your dad, is going to probably be able to look as young as you are now in your 20s – 30s. Male pattern baldness – GONE..Grey hairs – GONE, wrinkly face – GONE, Mr happy isn't quite up to the job? FIXED, cancer – GONE..etc Science & Technology is literally going to allow you and your older partner to enjoy eachother's company for as long as you both choose to be together.

I'm a single 40 year old male ( 40, as far as "chronological age", "biological age", I'm much younger.), army retired ( a year & 1/2 ago, comfortable pension..) and currently back in college going for a masters in nutrition ( with an emphasis on "sports nutrition"..I plan to become a sports diatecian and certified fitness instructor..). Anyone my age and older can sexually attract and maintain a healthy relationship with a younger person, provided they: Exercise, Eat Right, Have a good – constructive attitude, share the same core values and interests …. Chronological age is meaningless, especially now in our modern age, and those that stress otherwise are just ignorant.

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Anonymous

Chronological age is NOT "meaningless" when the girl is 43 and the guy is 63, and he has a stroke or a heart attack and you have to take care of him for years on end, and likely go bankrupt because his Medicare doesn't cover long-term care after 100 days, and you run out of money. Granted, anyone can have a heart attack or stroke or whatever at any age. But when your partner is 63+ (and you're not) there is a very good chance that you will end up being a caregiver much sooner than you planned. To think otherwise is not being realistic.

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Anonymous

I'm 29 and have been with my partner for just over 5 yrs. he is 53, I love him dearly and we get on. I always found that I relate to people older than myself. I haven't told my parents. I'm Indian and he is english. We are hoping to marry and have children some time soon. I've enjoyed reading everyone's stories here. I was a bit nervous at first about the age difference but i don't tend to think about it. I use to feel people look at us and may think things but I don't see it . I hope it works out for you all 🙂

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Anonymous

Hi there! I know this was posted a few years ago but I wanted to see how your relationship is now and if you decided to continue to pursue it and tell your parents. I am also Indian (24) dating someone 30 years older than me for almost 2 years and cannot decide if I should tell my mom or not. It would be nice to talk to someone who has a similar experience. Thanks!

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Anonymous

Hello everyone. I googled I am 50 and she is 29 which led to this website. I am posting because I am certain my personal experience will somehow benefit others. Yes; I am 50, and she is 29, actually one year younger than my eldest daughter. In addition I am a grandfather and my daughter is expecting her second child. With that said here is my story. I was single for 7 years after a bitter divorce. About 12 months ago I joined a dating website. So many dead end dates and wasting time until I was on the phone canceling my membership and requesting my profile be removed and a message popped up right that moment. I delayed my cancelation and responded. My profile was in depth, and contained the total absolute truth about myself and my past. She got a full picture of me, her profile on the other hand was almost nonexistent, a small blurry photo and not much in the way of written description. After a few exchanges I provided my provided my telephone number and we began talking. I asked her out on a date and when I first saw her and went for dinner I was shocked! She is so funny, down to earth, so clean minded and moral I was amazed. Although there is not only an age gap, there is also a cultural difference, yet we communicated so much and had a blast. I was asking myself what does she want from me. I kept thinking about all my shortcomings, and clearly thought this was a short term something not being able to figure out what will happen. One of the many beautiful things I have learnt from her is how to live in the moment, she lives this way and I have begun to as well. We spent quite a bit of time together and with each passing day we became more and more friendly and attracted to each other. She took a trip back to her family overseas and was away for 6 weeks. We kept in contact almost daily with e-mail and sometimes phone calls. When her birthday arrived I actually googled her family name and found her father’s residence in a small town in a middle eastern country. I found a florist some miles away who would deliver, Flowers, Chocolate and wine to her. She was shocked and could not figure out how I found the address and pulled it off. When the time came for her to return to the states she could not find a single friend or acquaintance to assist her with temporary arrangements until she settled back in here. I stepped forward and did everything I could and set her up with a female friend of mine with a place to stay and a ride form airport.

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Anonymous

Upon her return something just changed, and she began to really enjoy my character and trust me. We saw each other every single day for months, and it just kept getting better. After 2 failed attempts at getting her own apartment (Deposits and all) I invited her to move in with me. I have never looked back, and 6 months have passed. I am a hopeless romantic, I have never lied or cheated in past relationships, and I am gentleman to the core. All of my qualities are so very much appreciated by her. I am convinced that men from my generation and earlier did in fact learn how to treat women. I always open the door for her, she comes first always and although I do not have a lot of money I always provide thoughtful gifts and gestures. We have never had a serious argument or meltdown. I cannot even be upset with her, she laughs at almost every situation we encounter, always finding the brighter lighter side. As far as health and intimacy goes we hit a home run, I have never had it this good. Everyone in my circle told me to just enjoy each other as long as it lasts, as if to say this is not long term. I do not offer any response, however we both are together because we love each other and could not bear to think of life without coming home and to one another.
We never discuss age, it is not an issues and what others think (Expressed or not) is meaningless to both of us. I clearly understand that she wants children and marriage and she has told me I am perfect for her, and I feel she is perfect for me. I feel no fear or stress about this, and yes I will have children with her if she wants. I am a great dad, I adore children and lack the typical “Guy” habits and always considered my children and wife my top priorities, so I will jump at the opportunity to have more little ones especially with her. When I have a child who is younger than my grandchildren it will freak a lot of people out, and will be one for the books! But so be it.
Her last boyfriend was a millionaire, limo’s chauffer’s and all. He treated her poorly, and admitted to cheating on her during a short business trip. She has had enough of players and liars. Her only concern she has ever expressed is finances, which she relates to our future together.
I am enrolled in school and will make a career change soon to increase my income and I have asked her for support and patience. She too is enrolled in school and will begin a new career path as well.
Although I am taking life one day at a time, I am so grateful and happy that we are together. I feel like I won the lottery, I am blessed and have a new lease on life.
I did not set out to find a younger woman, in my wildest imagination this would have never been a possibility. I have not yet mentioned how absolutely gorgeous she is, and her smile just melts my heart. Her beauty is both inside and out and she Is not spoiled or arrogant about her beauty, how rare is that?
If you are faced with a similar situation my only advice is to pursue it, give it a chance.
I have never had such an honest, intimate, loving friendship, Loveship before, my partner just happens to be much younger than I.
Good Luck, and may Love and light always be in your life, I say go for it the heart knows not age it can always Love……..
PS. On one of our first dates I noticed a scar on her hand. I have a near identical scar in the same spot and on the my right hand as well. I asked her about it, and lo and behold we both received the scars at the same age and the same way! A sign of Destiny?
SAG

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Crystal

Wow..first off I think it's amazing how this thread has continued over the past few years. I stumbled upon this post when I googled, '50 year old man'. Yep, that's all. I was curious as to what that search would produce, and I must say the stories I have read from you guys around the world are indeed reassuring and solidifying.

I am 27 years old, 28 in October. I have become friends with a stranger from the internet who is 50 years old. He originally found me on a business networking website back in late January of this year, and although only a phone relationship, we have grown as friends since that initial web connection. It's going on 6months and we are both anticipating meeting each other to spend time to discover if there is more between us. It's interesting bcuz the friendship has experienced several emotions, ups & downs, and so on, just from the phone! He is deeply in love with me. Wants me to be his wife. I like him but I just need real live interaction to have my heart fully captured. I do believe if we met we would hit it off and yes it's possible I could fall in love with him. I live in GA and he California. It's too expensive to see each other right now so we're just being patient until finances permit a much anticipated rendezvous. I'm very curious about what the in-person chemistry/connection will be like.

Just on the phone, we've discovered we connect emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and even on some business matters. My only thing is, my mom detests the fact that I spend lots of time on the phone with him, mainly bcuz of his age. She doesn't like "us" at all…if our friendship did advance I would have to pray bcuz my mother would not be happy at all. I love how many of you confessed & declared your love for your partners regardless of family, friends, or public disapproval. I love my mom but if I were to fall in love with this man after spending time with him, I would be open to being his. I have to live my life for me. If im happy, that's what should matter to her but hey in the meantime, I really wanna see how things go for us. Him being 50 doesn't bother me bcuz I dont see him as 50. I see him as a man who is human, loves the Lord, and wants to live a happy life. I'm really anxious about meeting him; he's grown on me overtime and this thread has let my guard down some…thank you for posting this story!

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Anonymous

My "boyfriend" will be turning 60 in October – I turned 31 in February / we have two children; six year old daughter, three year old son – I am terrified of losing him but I don't worry about having to be a long term caregiver – I absolutely love him and will be there to wipe his butt if needed and all the other stuff – he is amazing and my soul mate – when we first met I was 21 and he was friends of a friend and we had so much in common and I would think " why can't I find a guy like him my age" and then I just decided to not worry about age anymore – glad I did – I know people probably think I'm a "gold- digger" lol but he's not rich!! I truly love him and would recommend as long as you're both consenting adults – get to know someone you are drawn too – you might just find your soul mate 🙂

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Anonymous

Congratulations on your great attitude. Lots of online advice warns against big age gaps in relationships and I have agonised over a female colleague at work who is much younger than me who seems to be giving me the 'come on' and is a truly wonderful person in every way. Maybe I should just take a leaf out of your book and just 'go for it'!

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Anonymous

Sometimes, older is better. With age comes experience, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men.

==AgeLuv.Com== is the premier online community for older men dating younger women! Join Now!

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Anonymous

When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found okaforspiritualtemple@gmail.com he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you Stone master from the bottom of my heart!

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Anonymous

I am 27 years old and my husband just turned 44.I first met my husband while he was volunteering in Africa for Peace Corps. I was a language teacher for the volunteers. We first became very good friends and then realised we both wanted more than just friends.He is the most loving, caring, supportive person i have ever met and even though physically we are very different(He is 6ft tall white male while i am 5ft tall petite African woman who can easily be mistaken for a 20 year old girl)- , we just fit in each others life perfectly. However i don't know if its the racial part or the age but that attracts too much attention from people of which some can be very rude and hateful towards us. Even though peoples opinions and views about our marriage and relationship don't bother my husband at all, it has reached a point where i even get anxiety every time we are in public just because of the nasty stares we get every single day. I love my husband so much and i know for sure he loves me to pieces.I really need advice….

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Anonymous

Society is nasty and what u are experiencing with ur husband is a challenge (not an easy one) for u too overcome. Think of it this way, u feeling hurt/anxious/ worried does not serve u positively in any way.. It makes the situation more hard. No one can ever do anything right in the eyes if society so enjoy ur husband, u know in ur heart/soul that he is right for u do enjoy him.

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Anonymous

I have had such issues as well. I would be so uncomfortable in society because I was so afraid of what people thought of me.
I now mingle and I amin my own world, the one I live in with he gifts I have and loving my family and mylself. I look upon the crowd in a blurr, I do not evene see them clearly anymore, we are just sharing time and space, I am in my world and you are in yours, I will not judge u, or hold back my love for all and I wish u do the same for me. I am truly in my own world and free. It does not matter one single bit what others think, you are blessed and do not let any negativity mar or diminish your blessing, perhaps it is a test, which you can over come, focus on the Love focus on the blessing all will be great …….

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Anonymous

I am a 22 year old woman and the guy I am interested in is 37 years old. I know his mother personally so I don't worry about meeting the family. He shows how much he likes me, and we haven't even met yet. He is so dang attractive and in better shape than guys near my age. I am starting to feel deep feelings for him and to be honest it feels weird to me (in a good way). I am skeptical about our age gap, but reading all of these stories are very reassuring to me. I hope he finds me attractive as far as my body goes. He is very very physically attractive and fit, so I just hope he can see past my mummy tummy. He has seen it in pics, but I mean who knows if he will think differently of me in person. I tend to worry about things I have no control over, but I am going to give this a shot with him. I have this feeling he and I would make a great couple.

I know my family would probably disapprove of "us". My mother is only 3 years older than him. So I know she would have an opinion. Oh well..this is my life and I shouldn't care what others think.

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jeanny

I was just thinking: How many couples where people are close in age break up get divorced or are stuck with each other in a loveless marriage/relationship. Closeness in age is no guarantee for a happily ever after just as a big age gap is no guarantee for disaster or vice versa for that matter.
I am dating a man, i just found out is 17 years older than I am (i'm 25) but I really like him and I think I will keep seeing him and figure things out along the way. The idea of being alone when I am older scares me a little, but then again, people can live long or die young. There are no guarantees in life!
Thank you, Marie, for the reassurance.

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Anonymous

Glad i found this article (and comments). I recently became interested in a co worker of mine (we've worked together for nearly two years), but since i'm in a supervisor position, dating isn't allowed. Besides the work issue, he is 18 years older than me with a son who is four years younger than me. Other than the age difference and work sitch, i can't tell if he sees me as a friend or could actually be interested in me. I make the first "move" (usually text) which i don't mind, i just wish he'd call/text me first once in a while.

Anyone have any advice/in put?

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Anonymous

I was hit on by my ex girlfriend and I was a lot more aware of the social ramifications than she, so I never initiated anything…. I think this is one possible explanation. The man has to face a lot more social pressure than the woman when he is much older. I tried everything to put her off including telling her I was gay. Its a scary situation to be in. Just follow your intuition and be patient.

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Anonymous

I am also in a supervisory position in a small company and have a 33yr old who is 27 years my junior showing me a lot of interest. She is bright, attractive, sexy and has the most wonderful personality, I can't help but respond in a positive way but I am so concerned that if things went any further she would dedicate the best years of her life to a person who will probably not be around in another 20yrs time when she is only 53. I also worry that if things went wrong and the relationship didn't work it would be difficult to continue to work together ….. perhaps I worry too much!!

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Anonymous

I think you should go for it. This young woman may be 27 years your junior, but at 33 she's a grown woman, and based on your description of her, it sounds like she's at a stage in her life where she knows what she's looking for. I don't think the age is so much an issue, but more so, that you work together and that you're in a supervisory position over her. However, that doesn't mean it can't work, you just have to be careful. As long as your both unattached, consenting adults, I don't see any reason why you can't get to know each better and see where it goes. But like I said, just be mindful, take things slowly, and if you later find that things aren't going to work out, then at least you'll know and won't be left wondering what might have been? I'm 30 and there was this 58 year old gentleman who I sensed was interested in me and I was starting to feel the same way, but I shied away not knowing how to handle the age difference, now I wonder what if, so trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Maybe someday soon his path and mine will cross again?

Anyways, best of luck to you!

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Anonymous

Anonymous 10/7/13, if you haven't told her by now how you feel, and you are still interested in this woman, you should let her know how you feel and let her decide whether she wants to spend the best years of her life with you. You never know, they might become the best years of her life because you are in them.

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Anonymous

I started talking to this guy on a chat room. I'm 16 and he is 36, we did some not so PG things over chat but we also connected really well. I feel like I've found my soul mate. He's in the USA and I'm in the UK. I know he likes me and I like him a lot, and when I'm 18 I will probably tell me parents and hopefully meet him. He doesn't know my real name and we haven't been on cam yet because I don't feel comfortable yet. Just in need of a little advice. I know about all the dangers of the Internet as well, I'm not here for a lecture. Just want to know what you think about the age difference.

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Anonymous

The age gap is not a problem although I can honestly say that at 18 I was very unworldly and did not understand much about life and relationships. The internet is not a great way to get involved with somebody so much older than you. Is he really 36? Is he happily married with a wife and children and just enjoys having a bit of fun with a young lady who is showing him attention? Please take care.

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Anonymous

This article was so inspiring! I'm a 26 yr old woman, and I've had feelings for over a year for a man who is 50. I thought it was ridiculous, but not anymore! I did tell him how I feel, but sadly he said (although the attraction is there) he can't bring himself to date someone half his age. We still talk and flirt and I'm hoping one day, he can look past the 'age issue'.

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Anonymous

It is so sad he feels that way. If he opened his eyes to the possibilities and forgot about his age you could have a wonderful relationship. Age is just a number …………old cliché 🙂

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Anonymous

I am a 59yr old man who has lived with my 40yr old girlfriend for 10yrs. I can honestly say that the age gap has never been a problem. The problem has been with our aspirations and attitude to life. I want to live life to the full and make the most of the years I have got left in my life whereas my partner seems to fritter her life away not wanting to socialise, watching TV and generally leading the life of a hermit and not being physically close to me (sex stopped about 3yrs ago). I am so bored!! Whether a relationship works has nothing to do with age but everything to do with love, attitude and aspirations.

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Anonymous

It's all about your "head space" (i.e. how you think and approach life). I am 50 and I can be equally attracted to a woman in her 20s or a woman in her 60s. What's the common thread? Attitude. In either case it is always a woman who has a strong sense of self and a high regard for her own value. Women like this will generally take care of themselves physically and carry themselves with confidence. A woman who can "hold her own" with grace and style is the epitome of sexiness. Age is irrelevant either direction. The idea that two people need to be close in age is a uniquely modern and uniquely US social custom. Outside of the 20th-21st Century USA, 15+ year age gaps have not been that uncommon or looked at with much suspicion.

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Anonymous

I am 44 years old, and recently me t someone who is 58 years old. I have never felt so happy and alive in my life. The fact is, he is confident and does not believe he has all the time in the world to make decisions.

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Anonymous

I am a 54 year old male who is fit and active. I run regularly and look younger than my years.
I met a 35 year old lady who is wonderful and she thinks the same of me.. We get on so well although we live in two different countries which to me is a major obstacle as i have had a long distance relationship before and that was tough.
The 19 year age gap is tough for me to get my head around too. She is OK with that and she tells me that she loves me. We have known each other for 6 months now and in total spent about 5 weeks together, all of which has been great.
However, I still feel pessimistic towards the relationship and hold her off.This upsets me as i know that i am upsetting her so much too.
My other worry is that we will not grow old and retire together and enjoy those retirement years.
I have told her that i think it is unwise to keep seeing each other now as i am in love with her as she is with me but I see no long term future for us. I really find it so hard to think that this will work.
For it to work, I will need to move to her country which at this point in time , I am not able to do. Plus I need to learn the Language to be able to work.
The whole situation has really got me down now and i am starting to suffer from Deppression. It is affecting my work and life and for this reason i feel i need to cut this lady out of my life to try to regain some kind of sanity.

Help ladies… what do you think? I would love to hear from people in a similar age bracket… 35 – 54.

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Aisha Horsey

Hello! Im 38 and my boyfriend is 54 also. I'm so inlove with him. My opinion if you are willing to make that change in your life to relocate to another country for love and its geniune of both parties then why not. I would do some research first on her. Not trying to scare you. I was watching a crime show about a younger woman meeting an older guy. Long story short. She gave him false hope. She persuaded him to move to her country.She set him up with some thugs that eventually stole his life savings and murdered him. Sorry its just the crazy world we live in. I wish you the best

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Anonymous

I am 20 and the man I am dating is 45. We have known each other for two years and have dated for one year. We get along so well and he is my best friend. We have an equal give and take relationship. I have not told anyone in my parents about my relationship. The only opinion I really care about is my mother's, but I am very sure she will disapprove because he is about the same age as her. If I continue this relationship despite my mother's wishes I am afraid it will drastically change my relationship with my mother…and not in a good way. I don't want to let go of either relationship but I don't want to keep this a secret forever. I don't know how to go about telling my mother without her being angry.

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Anonymous

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 42. That's not the only problem, we are in a long distance relationship as well. I recently told my parents and they are not happy with it. My mother is thinking more easy about it; she told me in the end that she will not keep me on a string. My father now doesn't talk to me at all. He has not spoken a word to me ever since.
But I love this man so much and I can see how much he loves me. I feel perfect with him, he really is my everything. I cannot think about ending our relationship because of my family. Do I have to make them happy or myself by choosing for him?
The hardest thing of all is that because of what happend recently I really want to talk to him. But the only way we can do that is Skype. I miss him a lot, but we Skype every single day and he is still there for me.
Did anyone else have the same problem with telling their parents?

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Aufoxy

It makes me so happy to see this post and all of these comments that I am crying. I've been dating my current boyfriend for 6 months. I am 27 and he just turned 50. I've never done well with guys my own age, they have always seemed immature to me and I've been frustrated with their lack of direction in life. I met him a few years ago racing cars, and it was just last year that we became friends. He was in the middle of a divorce, and has two children from that marriage who are 18 and 19. We started dating and it just got better and better every day. We are seriously in love and I am the happiest I've ever been in a relationship. We weren't telling many of the people from our car racing community since his divorce was still in process, and now that it's finalized we're starting to tell people. He seems to get support from his coworkers and friends, but I've found that some of my friends can be incredibly judgemental and downright mean. My parents and a lot of my friends have been very supportive (especially the female ones), but a few friends have upset me a lot with their comments. They tell me that the relationship is "weird", "disgusting", "creepy", etc. They say that he must be a "creepy old man" and that I should really be careful, and that it will never work because of the age difference. It has got me very upset. I'm very happy with him and I hardly even notice the age difference anymore. I know that I need to just ignore the comments, and maybe I was even expecting too much from these friends, but it upset me a lot. It just makes me feel better to read so many stories of people in love with people of significant age differences. And this blog is great.

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Roxy

Aufoxy!!..i love reading these stories and being able to relate to you ladies..i too am 27 and in a relationship with a man almost turning 50, we have been together for about 8 months now but knew him for almost 2 years as we used to work together… When the relationship began i was hesitant as i cared about what others thought, as time went on, i cared less what others thought about us..I have never been happier in my relationahip… We have great comminication, honesty and repect for one another, i have never felt more connected to my partner.. He is everything I've ever wanted. I have a 7 year old son whom he adores.. I am so excited for what's to come in our future.. Their is absolutely nothing wrong with significant age differences.. As long as you have the emotional maturity and truly love that person is all that matters.. People will judge no matter what you do.. So follow your heart and don't bother with negativity. Let's keep in touch!:)

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Anonymous

I am in a tough situation… I left my husband about 8 months ago because of a bad marriage. I met a guy who is 39 and we clicked instantly. I am 23 years old and we have been dating for about 5 months now. He has been there for me thru all the hard times that i have had. He is so easy to get along with and is a blast to be around. I have never had feelings like this for anyone and i can honestly say that i am in love. That being said, i am actually looking for some advice.. My parents do not approve at all. They met him on Thanksgiving and said he was entirely too old for me and that i was being selfish because i wouldnt break up with him even tho my family did not approve. I have a 4 year old son who i love dearly and my mom said that i should think about him and what ppl will think about him having a step dad that is 17 years older than me. Should this be an issue? I am crazy about this guy and i can tell that i am in love with him and he loves me. We have so much fun together and i cant imagine being any happier than i am now. I feel like i should not have to be unhappy to put a smile on everyone elses face.

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Anonymous

Sweetheart, go for it! If this is the happiest you've been in a relationship, hold on to him! You will be miserable if you gave up this relationship just to appease your family. They will just have to deal with it. In life we can't please everybody, so I would encourage you to keep a hold on this love if this man makes you happy. You might never meet a guy like him again. It would be foolish to let him go if he's not harming or mistreating you. Hopefully your parents will come around…I'm rooting for ya. God bless!

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Anonymous

Hello! I just posted the last one 1/19/14. I'm sorry you had a bad marriage, but luckily you are out of it! I'm about your age, and I have a lot of respect for you having a son too. I really liked the comment above me too. To be happy and you can't please everyone!! I admire you for coming to your family about it. Oh, I realized not to be put your happiness in a person. Are you jumping from relationship to relationship?

The things I would have second thoughts about are – that it's so soon after your marriage and you haven't known him for that long (honeymoon phase is so real!) what are the guy's intentions? My friend at 22 is dating someone that's 39. Her old manager from her job. He's going through a divorce, his oldest kid is her age, this all screams red flags. but they're happier in public and everything!!! I think I'm the only that seriously questions their relationship.

My friend dated someone older (she's 30 now) but there was a 13 year age difference when she was 22. She had a child with this guy, but realized she didn't want to be with him. So she met this guy, got engaged, were together for 5 years. She went back to school. They broke up because she was so focused on school, and she slept with her ex. Then her and the older guy got back together and he cheated on her so they would have common ground. Your values are important… doesn't matter what age. Of course, she talks about how sometimes they didn't really have much in common, like reference things you'd never heard of.

BUT if he treats you right, can love your son, makes an effort to your family, is respectful and such and you have a good time, then continue forth! I'm jealous of you because you feel so right about it! It is hard…I know.

Sorry for the long post, just trying to share some advice with someone close to my age!

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Anonymous

I'm 22. He's 36. Our relationship began when I was 20. He thought I was 25, I thought he was 30 due to his references of South Park and other humorous, hip, young things. We might not share everything in common, but we do have values, politics, thoughts, and humor in common. We moved in together and eventually broke up. During that breakup, he dated someone my age that pursued him. There's always the whole thing about "being a creep." It bothers me. He doesn't act creepy though, but he's consistently dated younger (because the new people he meets are younger and pursues him), and some definitely his age, but with no connection. Either way, this and the age difference makes me wary.

I am well-educated. I am graduating UC Berkeley this year and would like to pursue medicine. I have worked full-time. I have had relationships in the past, but nothing as real as this. I analyze a lot and worry a lot. I can't even imagine telling my asian family. He has no kids, never been married, so less of that to worry about. But if this carries on, I'll be 30, he'll be 45. When I'm 60, he'll be 75. That worries me. I don't want to be a widow and watching him get older scares me too. I'm very wary of the pressure. I've met all his friends and family. To sum it up, I AM SCARED O.o

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Anonymous

By the way, I should say that I am seeking therapy!! I have a strong feeling that a lot of worries comes from something in my past, childhood. "being the perfect one" for your family. You get it.

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Anonymous

Again same person… haha it is really refreshing to have a safe space to go too! Thanks everyone.

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friocress

I got a problem, I fall in love with someone who is 18 years older than me . I'm now 18 years old and he's 36 years old. I feel very happy to see this page, because whenever I talk to my friend about this thing, she always said that I'm out of my mind. That's why I feel happy I found this page and make me know I'm not crazy to fall for someone that much more older than me. He don't know about my feeling to him. I feel comfortable whenever I'm with him. Recently I updated my status on fac*book and unexpectedly he purposely asking me who's that lucky guy, and now I love him more and more but I cannot tell him. because he's my teacher. Can anyone give me some advice? is it an empty hope?

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Anonymous

I'm 17 and in a relationship with a 35 year old guy. I love him completely and we both want the same things even though we are in different age groups. He has asked me to move in with him and I will do after I've finished college in the summer this year. I am so happy, so is he 🙂
To me, older men seem to be smarter and know more about life because of having lived it unlike the boys my age. A few of my friends know that I'm seeing a man who is more than twice my age and they don't understand why but not every bee likes every flower I guess haha.
Liking older guys kind of runs in the family, my mom dated a 40 year old when she was 20 and my sister liked guys in there 30's when she was in her 20's.
I liked reading some of these posts because I don't feel so different now.
I love Leigh. When he asks (and I know he will because he has said he will ask if it all goes well when I move in) I'm going to say yes.
I want to spend the remainder of our lives together and he is the only one I can imagine being my husband, call me naïve I don't care; I'm happy.
Thinking about him makes me smile, I think the only time he has upset me was when he fell asleep when he was meant to call me. He does this not so rarely and I normally don't mind because I understand he works hard and does long days.
I've not told my family about him yet, I guess I will have to tell them soon though if I do move in with him haha. I just wonder how I will tell them. My little sister will hate me for it, my mom will not like it and think he is a pervert and that the relationship will fail, my older sister will think that too. My guy is older than hers, she is 25 and her bf is 34 and mine is nearly 36.
Leigh and I are total freaks, freaks together and its brilliant. He is dynamite in bed as well… He is certainly teaching me everything he knows… 😀 xXx

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Anonymous

If your friends ever try to discourage you and rip you two apart, then they were never your friends to begin with (unless he is a terrible person to you). All that matters is that he is good to you, and very respectful. Society will always try to paint a perfect picture that everyone, supposedly, should follow or you will get judged… But you know what? Your painting, is totally unique to you. I'm in the same boat as you. I met my man when I was 17 and he was 37. I couldn't love another man (besides family) as much as I love him.

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Anonymous

I am 22 years old, the love of my life is 43 years old. We have been dating for 3 fast years and it has been an amazing journey and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us. When I tell people that he is 43 they always judge me. Some will lecture me about how its not going to work. We just had a talk recently and he was telling me how hard it is for him because he's older than my mom and same age as my dad and how my family will think he's too old for me and how his family will think I'm too young for him. It makes me sad when I hear this from other people. We were at the edge of breaking up but I told him I don't want the only reason why we are breaking up is because of our age differences. I know he truly loves me. He was sad and said we were born in the wrong era. At the end of the day it is what we feel and we know we love each other. From now on I will not care what anyone thinks of us I just hope that my family and friends will wish us nothing but the best and happiness.

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Anonymous

This post and the comments have helped me immensely. I am a 17 year old girl and since I can remember I have loved older men. My first celebrity crush was Harrison Ford too! Then I went on to Brian Williams from NBC nightly news. My preference isn't a big secret and most people joke with me about it (even my parents). Obviously because it would be illegal for me to act on these feelings (well actually not as long as I'm over 16 and the man isn't in a position of authority) I have just dated guys my own age. None of those relationships have ever worked out or even lasted over three months. Every man I have ever been actually infatuated with, I won't use the word love because it was never acted on, was well over thirty. Most people think teenage girls who like older men have "Daddy issues" but I can assure you I have a very loving, hard working, and present father. I just never felt like anyone understood me until I started reading these comments! I thought there was something sick in my brain for not liking guys my own age. I keep counting down the days until I turn 18 so I can start dating men I actually would want to have a future with. Is it really wrong of me to just have this age preference? Is it any different from liking a certain hair color? In my heart of hearts I honestly believe age doesn't matter after a girls old enough to know her mind. They have me making decisions about which college I want to go to and my future career and how much money I want to make but they say I am not mature enough to know what sort of man I would do well with. I am young, and I don't know everything. But am I wrong?

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Lily

I think the fact that countless commenters have replied sharing their stories to a post four years old is proof that there are so many of us in this situation who feel like we don't get the support we need from peers with similar experiences. Sometimes just opening up and typing it all down- our fears, our hopes- is enough.

I turn 21 this May and I'm in a relationship with a man who will be 32 in December. We've been together for the better part of a year. When we met, I assumed he was around 25 because he looks incredibly young. So we don't really face any censure walking down the street together, and for the most part my family and friends have been supportive (or at least, have not shoved any misgivings into my face too loudly). However, we've had to overcome other differences in race, culture, class and privilege, mother tongue, past experiences, nationality, politics (I am vastly liberal and he is less so, coming from a very traditional culture, but he's very educated, whip-smart and open to developing his views), as well as all the myriad things that any two individuals have to discuss and address when trying to meld two personalities and two lives. What makes the party even more interesting is that we are both living in a foreign country. He's been here for much longer than I have and speaks the language like a native, but we typically communicate in English which isn't his first or second, but third-language. Possibly even fourth, come to think of it.

The honest truth is that it would be far easier to be with someone with a background similar to mine, someone from the same place (tangibly and intangibly), who has experienced the same things and exists within the same cultural context as I. But then I would be missing out on someone to gets ME. Who understands ME on a spiritual and emotional level. Who is my best friend and my silliest friend, and the person I would spend every waking moment with if I could. In the end, I think, the heart recognizes a kindred spirit quite apart from any external considerations.

I worry sometimes about the future. He's starting his medical residency soon, and might move to a different country in order to pursue a path that will better enable him to provide for his mother and brother. Like he has told me, he cannot allow himself to think about settling down or starting a family of his own when he already has a family that needs him. I'm in no rush, at my age, but I think about whether us getting married might be the only way we can be physically together legally. Whether we can make a path together when there's already so many personal obstacles he and we have to clear without even considering our relationship. He always tells me not to fall too hard too fast. I know he is wary too, because of this and because of past relationships. But he loves and cherishes me deeply, even if he is not always as vocal about it as my girly heart would like ;), and then there are the times when he daydreams about our future together and we concoct elaborate fantasies. They hurt to think about sometimes.

I suppose in the end, the day-to-day of our relationship is like any other, age gap or no age gap. Problems to solve, together. Happiness, joy, friendship, love- to be shared, together.

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Anonymous

Allowing our hearts to be open to love in whatever form it may present itself takes courage and strength. It's beautful to have openess and maturity to embrace life in all its mystery .

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ANONYMOUS

i am a single mother of a 4yr old son, and i am ( 24yrs old) am so much in love with a 59yr old man, he has 5kids 1 adopted making 6. His wife died few years back, he got married again, but his presently divorced. we have been dating for some months now, his friends and kids know about it, and they are ok with it. and now it seems he want to marry me. but his got everything i want in a man. but am just scared of what pple will say, please ladies what do you think!

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Dorothy w

don’t worry about what people think or say.if u happy go for it. I’m dating someone 26 years older then me. he have two sons one is a year older than me and the other six years younger. and the ok with that. he my best friend , my lover.we been together for 15 yes.So do what makes u happy

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Anonymous

No, you're not mental. But please do NOT act on your crush until you have matured more emotionally and when when you've arrived at the age of when it would be legally permitted to have a relationship with an older man; if of course, you still have those feeling for him by the time you reach adulthood.

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Anonymous

I am 21 years old black the guy I am dating is 47 years old and white with two little kids. We both work at Wal-mart and each day that passes I grow stronger and stronger feelings for him. He been hurt I been hurt. Out of all the guys I dated he truly my blessing and being in his presence is good enough for me. His age doesn't bother me because I truly feels like I found someone who cares and respect me. We make each other laugh (he such a silly goose) but I enjoy it. Wouldn't trade the feeling I get for nothing in the world.

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Anonymous

sorry meant 22 lol not to long had a bday and i don't feel no different

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Fleur De Lis

I am a 30 year old black female dating a 56 year old white man (he's nearly 30 years older than me). I've never dated guys my age, they were always a few years older than me. The father of my 12 year old son was decades older than me (I was 17 when I met him). My current boyfriend is a bit strange….but that's what makes him unique. He's lifted me up in ways that none of my exes can ever match. He helped me to let go of the pain, fear, resentment and anger that I had pent up due to growing up with abusive parents. I am so glad that my man is in my life. I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life…now I feel complete with "R" in my life.

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Anonymous

I am glad you happy and found someone that complete you. I never knew I would be in this position but I am so glad that I am. My exes was a little bit older than me but lack the maturity I was looking for. I just hope I get to spend the rest of my life with mines. Goodluck to the both of you and thanks for sharing.

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Anonymous

The best part of these relationships is how they teach you not to expect a lot and just live in the moment because you never really know what goes wrong when…. so love it till it lasts, be grateful and always believe that it might end somehow so you have to live the time fully… I'm 20 dating a guy who's 35 and he's the most adorable thing on the planet for me… and being older he understands all my fears and deals with my just starting working life crisis and tantrums… although ours is gonna end someday, i‘ll never forget how he taught me to feel it without asking or being asked…

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Anonymous

Hi guys, i really love this post i met a guy 4yrs ago on Internet first time we met i was deep inlove he was hurt before n could not offer me the love i needed back from him. I was devastated by i had to digest that there will never be us. Tonight he sent me a msg saying i have been in his mind all the time im 31 he is 59 same age as my mom. I still have feelings for him he wants us to give it a try i still want him but what will my mom say? Ithink she will have no problem but the age gap to me is. What do i do he is a nice guy really good except he s very soft n been hurt before!!!

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Tamago Tan

I just realised that a lot of you are having a large age gap too! *sense of relief*
I'm currently having a long distance relationship with a guy who is 11 years older than me. I don't know how he looks like, but I'm sooooo in love with him! He is mature, sensible, caring and sweet to me! But the only thing that matters to me is that I'm scare that if he will leave me earlier…. I read that guys die earlier than girls do…. I don't want to live alone in this world without him! 🙁 ��

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Anonymous

I'm 34 currently seeing a 50years old. It has only been a short 6 months but iv been feeling insecure about this relationship since the beginning. Im beginning to fall in love with him but the age difference often pulls me back. I guess my worry about the social stigma is stopping me from fully concentrating on this relationship. This post however really gives me the courage to just focus on building on our love . Thanks guys!

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Anonymous

When I was 17 and flying by myself, I met a man at an airport who was 37. It was really love at first sight when we both sat down at gate G3. When he turned to me and smiled, I could tell he had so much life in his eyes. Granted, I looked much older than 17, I thought he looked much younger than 37. When our flight got delayed 3 more hours, we were actually secretly excited. We gravitated to seats right next to each other, and talked for a bit then decided to go walk around to find some place to eat. Being such a gentleman, he payed for my Starbucks, And payed for the cheesefries we shared at a small restaurant. He had no idea I was 17, and I had no idea he was 37. We exchanged phone numbers, and flew to our departing place. We talked for a whole before either of us actually knew our ages. At first I was sad because he was 20 years my senior… And he was really bummed that I was that much younger than him, and I will admit that it was very strange feeling and both of us knew it was not right. He told me that he felt like a pedophile, which is totally understandable, but we also discussed that I would be 18 soon and things would just work out. Never has he ever done anything to me that I felt uncomfortable with when I was 17, and I never looked at him as a pedophile, until I was 18, we honestly stayed in touch from across the country, and stayed friends. I tried hooking him up with my sister, but that did not last very long, and then with an older friend of mine, and that did not work out either. When I turned 18, I immediately went to his city and visited him. We both knew that we would be meant to be but we knew we had to wait until it would be an appropriate time to see eachother. Now that time is approaching. I absolutely hate it when people say "well isn't that like a pedophile?". No, no he is not a pedophile. He is respectful to me, absolutely nothing happened sexually and nothing was ever spoken of sexually, we were honestly friends, and my parents knew we were just friends. My parents also knew that we had a lot in common and that I wished to see him again at the right time, I've always told my parents that I knew I was going to end up with someone significantly older than me anyways. BOYS my age are only interested in parties which is one thing I do not have patience for in a guy, someone who wants to go make bad decisions. Older men have stable jobs and can support you already. Most are not childish, and will not play teenage games with you, they also come from a time where chivalry was expected. Most boys these days party all the time and have sex with anyone, I have had a very hard time with finding someone who wants to better themselves and push themselves to do better, they never hold the door open or pull out a chair, and they do not seek any class in women. All I've ever wanted in a man was for him to have all the gentlemen aspects as men had many years ago; and this man that I've met has had all of those. No I do not know if I'm going to marry him, but I'm sure wanting to see how this relationship may go, just like I would with any other man i'd meet who I am interested in. I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with having an older man, if he is respectful, treats you right, and loves you dearly, then there is no problem, and most of society should be accepting. Meeting this man I believe that age is just an excuse for "maturity". Yes there are ages too young and too extreme when you talk about underage, but once you pass through to where you may make your own decisions, you are able to decide, with age being a factor or not. All I'm saying is, you can make your decisions, and if you're into men older than you, go for it. If you like men younger than you, more power to you. If you have an age limit, whatever works for you. Don't ever let society tell you what is acceptable and what is not. You're the caption of your ship, and if you drift toward an older island, then just make sure that island is a good man.

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Anonymous

I find this so beautiful – that you see love this way.

I pray that you and your significant other have more blessings in life. 🙂

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Sevda Gulea

Dear friends, i had a problem with my girl friend 2 years ago, which lead to our broke up. when she broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me until a friend of my Aron Victory told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too. I emailed the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short, before i knew what was happening my girl friend gave me a call and told me that she was coming back to me and i was so joyous to have her back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with our selves. Thanks to Dr. ODIAGBE AKHIGBE for saving my relationship and for also saving others own. Continue your good work the great spell caster and i want you people to contact him via him email for all kinds of helps. Email: airehobhuanuagbontemple@yahoo.com

1) If you want your EX back.
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(4) You want women/men to run after you.
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(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
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Anonymous

Like how everyone else has said on this thread, it is amazing knowing you're not alone. My boyfriend is 27 years older than me and we get along amazingly. I haven't told my father yet as I know he won't like it at all but my mom understands and supports me with it. His daughters are both older than me (he started young), and we haven't crossed that bridge yet either but I am confident things will work as we both love each other and have a hard time coping with the thought of not being together.

If you truly care about someone, things will fall into place! Thank you everyone for sharing your stories!!

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Dating An Older Man Pros |

[…] True Story: I’m Dating a (Significantly) Older Man – Yes … – miss. chief February 11th, 2010 . My boyfriend is…nine years older than me. It’s not as large of a gap but I’d still say significant. The only difficulty that’s age …… […]

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Dating An Older Mormon Man | World Info

[…] True Story: I’m Dating a (Significantly) Older Man – Yes … – miss. chief February 11th, 2010 . My boyfriend is…nine years older than me. It’s not as large of a gap but I’d still say significant. The only difficulty that’s age …… […]

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I Regret Dating An Older Man | World Info

[…] True Story: I’m Dating a (Significantly) Older Man – Yes … – miss. chief February 11th, 2010 . My boyfriend is…nine years older than me. It’s not as large of a gap but I’d still say significant. The only difficulty that’s age …… […]

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I Regret Dating An Older Man | Global Research

[…] True Story: I’m Dating a (Significantly) Older Man – Yes … – miss. chief February 11th, 2010 . My boyfriend is…nine years older than me. It’s not as large of a gap but I’d still say significant. The only difficulty that’s age …… […]

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TUNU

Wow how amazing. I am 23years and my boyfriend is 38years old and the age different is -15. At first i didn’t have a problem because we loved each other very much bt now when i had 2 find out that he’s 38yrz i became very scared and very disappointed on him. The thing i love this guy and he mean everything 2 me, my fear is that wil my family accept him with 15 years gap?

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Anonymous

Don’t worry about that. First you talk with ur mum. Hope you have close conmection with ur mum. She will understand you. 15 years is not a huge gap. Its the perfect gap, i suppose.
My daughter is married with a guy who is 20years senior to her. She married him 5 years ago. Upto now it worked well. She is not 27 and he is 47. They have 2 kids.
When he told me about his bf, i aslo worried bit. Because he is 4 years junior to me. But i belive that older guy is better than the boy in same age for dating. Anyway i allow her to choose what she likes. Now everything going well.
.

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anonymous

Every situation is unique unto itself. Thinking that your situation will pan out or fail like other peoples did isn’t realistic. There will always be common and general rules for why any relationship works or fails but by in large, it has nothing to do with age, race, gender etc. It has everything to do with how compatible you are and how much you care for one another. Two grown, consenting adults can make a relationship work regardless of what family, friends and society may say if their love for each other is true.

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Anonymous

Im 26 and my hubby is 48. We met each other first when i was 20. He was 42, divorced lived with her daughter. After two years later, we got married. Now i have one kid from him and step daughter. She is just 2 years junior to me and i treat her like a sis.

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Anne

Its nice to read this thread. There are lots of ladies who are dating older guys.
Im goiing to say a story i know well about it. Its about my elder daughter.
She was dating a man who is 21 years senior to her. She was about to reach 20. I had close relationship with her. She told me that she was dating an older guy. When i heard it i also got excited , but i didnt react aggressively. I told her i like to meet him invited him to come our home. Then he came our place, we realized that both of us knew each other about 10 years back. We were co-workers at that time. He is 5 years junior to me. I knew him as a real gentleman.
So he was div and he has a daughter from pervious marraige. She is 5 years junior to my elder and one years senior to my younger daughter.
So, i allowed my daughter to date him. One year back they got married. She was not interested to marry early, but i encouraged her to marry early, because her bf is in 40s and she wanted kids from him.
Now it is completed 17 years for their marraige. Its going well. Now my daughter is 38 and she has a 15 yr and 12 yr old daughters. Her step daughter married and gone away.
This is another story which is successful.

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Anonymous

I am dating a man 27 years older than me. It has been 8 years together of deep love. We met when I was 27. I didn’t know he was that much older than me when we met based on his looks, but when I found out his age it didn’t bother me.

I can’t tell my family or friends his real age, though, since it’s too scandalous. They would reject our relationship and label me a freak. Strangers likely think I’m dating him for his money, but that’s not the case. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that we also have a hot, thriving sex life. No one else has turned me on like he does.

However, now that I am approaching age 36, I’m questioning whether I want to have a child (I’ve never known if I want this). He doesn’t want kids. So, the age difference may cause us to break up with my life choice pending. I’m struggling with this decision and it will break my heart either way. I either stay with him and have no children (and possibly regret it later), or I leave him for an unknown mate I’ve never met.

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Secret

I’m married to a man who is 40 years older than I (62/22) and I couldn’t be happier! We were best friends before the attraction and he was a father figure to me, as I had no father growing up. But after his ex wife went nuts and I started taking care of his house and things, I started falling in love with his little quirks that I hadn’t noticed before. And then in the two years that followed, I fell in love with him entirely. But I didn’t know how he felt about it and I didn’t want to make it weird so I kept my feelings to myself. But then I fell apart and when he asked me what was wrong, I told him and he started crying too! Turns out he had also fallen in love with me! A few months later he popped the question and we are so very happy together!

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Rich

My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. We have been together for 10 years now and whilst we have both had many relationships before, nothing beats this one. It’s all about who you are as people not how old you are. If you value that you can get over any barrier that life puts infront of you

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special

I went through a very weird experience with a woman recently. I fell in love with my clients daughter of 18. My age is 48. I’m a contractor by trade. I have never been attracted to younger woman. I have been married twice. My first wife was 10 years older. All my other girlfriends were much older than me. While I was working on her parents house she would text that I left a tool out or something after I left work. Then it came out that she said she loved me. I was blown away and didn’t know what to say. Two months previous to this she looked down on me from upstairs. At that moment we both smiled. I fell completely in love with her right there. So my reply was I want to tell you in a couple years how I feel. She said she needed to know. I finally told her I loved her too. We kissed a lot and I was so in love with her at this point it made my very scared about her parents. I knew that the love we shared that I would get caught. I did. I was asked to leave. There was no violence from her dad but could have been. I was deviated completely. I’m still not over it. I wrote to her once but her father told me she didn’t want to hear from me again. I have never felt that love before. True soul mate. I would have washed her feet every day with rose pedal water. Showing her my love. I’m now completely lost. I’m a survivor but this killed me. Age doesn’t matter with love. Real love. I loved hearing these similar stories. I’m a really nice fun loving guy. She must have been attracted to that.

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Flo

Glad i read this article. I dated several older men and the age gap became further each time lol.
But what I wanted to share is my current man is 23 years older than me (I’m 26 and he’s 49) – not to mention that I’m Asian and he’s European and we’re doing the oh-so-called-LDR -, even with so many differences, we don’t find any difficulties to build this relationship. I mean, haters gonna hate, who cares don’t matter and who matters don’t care.

I’m not a gold-digger because I have a good career and am be able to pay my own bills and he’s not a pervert older guy lol. We match instantly and everything goes naturally without even any “weirdness.” It just feels so right every time I’m in his arms and he feels the same way about me. I’m busy, he’s busy, I’m a bookworm, he’s a bookworm. We’re old souls with young hearts. I love cooking, he loves surfing on the beach. I feel complete when I’m with him and when we’re out on dates, our different skin tone and his grey hair make us put our chins up even higher. He’s so proud of me as well as I’m of him. Hands down. He’s the best. No sugar-coat conversation, no empty promises, his action speaks louder than anything. Have never felt so loved by someone before. Am lucky to have him. Who cares with negativity out there? They don’t even experience what I feel! Hhaha… ^^

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ANON

I have recently engaged to a man that is about 20 years older than me. It’s been a journey to get to where we are now in our relationship. My family really gave me a hard time with my decision to pursue him, and there were multiple times that I tried to “end things” because of our age difference. However, with him it was different than anybody else I’ve been with… I would miss him when I was away, and I craved his attention and feedback. Break-ups wouldn’t last long because I wasn’t moving on with my own free-will I was just doing what my family expected me to do.
Eventually I told myself that I have to decide whether I’m going to fight for my love or tap out for good. I ended up moving in with him and telling my family and friends that I made my decision and don’t care what they have to say.
Things have been great since then. We really get along well, and sometimes I think we are perfect together. On Monday he proposed to me, and now I’m wearing a beautiful ring on my finger. Every time I look at my ring I think about him and all the various memories I share and it always brings a smile to my face.

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unknown

I am 21years old and doing my final year @university I recently found out I am 6weeks pregnant,the father of my child is 43years old,we are both comfortable with our age gap and he is willing to marry me I love him dearly he makes me happy and he completes me,I don’t know how to tell my parents I’m pregnant or how to tell them that the father of my child is 22years older than me please help

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Annonymous

I am glad to have come across such a post. i am dating a man who is 18 years older than me. im 19 his 38. His family somehow adores me in my presence i dont know what they say behind my back.we both dont have kids bt he wants a kid now. I dont know if i should give in or let go just to persue my dreams. Thing is i love him and he does too. We’ve been dating for a year now.

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Anonyyyyy

I’m 19 & My Boyfriend Is 39 And I Couldn’t Be Any Happier! Started Off Friends But Slowly Started To Fall For Each Other When In Reality We Didn’t Want That But Just Couldn’t Help It. I Was Always Attracted To Older Men, Hiim On The Other Hand NEVER Dated A Younger Woman. Always Older Than Him. But Nevertheless We Fell For Each Other. At First It Was Kinda Awkward For Both Of Us Because He Has Twin Boys Who Are 2 Years Younger Than Me. It Didn’t Really Bother Me But I Know It Effected Him. As Months Go By His Kids Know About Me But They Won’t Accept Me Which I Respect 100%.
The Way We Feel About Each Other Is Just An AMAZING Feeling. We’re Definitely Opposites But Hey Opposites Attract!
He’s Taught Me Soo Much Has Helped Me In Soo Many Ways! Almost Every Other Day I Tell Him I’m Grateful And Thankful For Having Such An Amazing Man In My Life.

He Has Been The longest Relationship I’ve Had. Gonna Be A Year This Month ❤️
But I Have Question We’ve Only Said “I Love You” Once Which Was New Years And Haven’t Said It Anymore , Is That Weird??

Anyways I’m Just Happy With My 20 Year Gap Relationship And I Couldn’t Be Any Happier With This Man.

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Sarah

wow. I’m going to show your story to my daughter. She is now 20 and an older guy is interested about her. He is 43 and he is like to marry her. Everything is good but she is scared. After seeing this, she will be okay. Thanks you for sharing this.

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Siyasanda

Wow I’m 22 and I’m seeing a 36 yeAr old guy. I like him verymuch and he does2 . Its been 4months seens we’ve. known eachother. The awkward part is we never said I love u to eachother but we have shared how we feel about eachother.

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ANON

I am 20 and my boyfriend is 47. I met him 8 months ago & the attraction was instant. The sex is amazing too. I thank god for him everyday.

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Secret

hello. 24 year old female, just finding i have feelings for a man that is significantly older then i (49) advice and opinions?

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NJSmartAss

In my 20’s, more than half the women I dated were older, 8 to 28 years older than me. That was the 1980’s, so they were very self conscious about the age difference. One girl lived with her older sister, and after I stayed over a couple times, we were in the middle of screwing vigorously, and Carol had sock on her mouth, but apparently she was still too loud, and the door swung open and her sister walked in and said, “For God’s sake, three nights in a row, you f__k ALL night, I can’t sleep and I’m not just tired the next day, I’m horny all day too! HOW many times can you f__k in a night! And what the hell are you doing to my sister, I’ve never heard her screaming like that before, even the old ladies up stairs heard her! Now stick another sock in her mouth and finish f__king her – THEN GO TO SLEEP!” Her sister was SO funny, she’d sneak in while we were screwing, and smack Carol on the ass, or grab one of her nipples, pinching and twisting it! She was a RIOT! The oldest woman I had a relationship with kept in touch with me until a few years ago, and usually, she’d ask me to dinner, and asked if I had time to give her a “Mercy F__k” as she called it. Her face looked her age, but from any angle, she had the body of a slim fit 19 year old! She was great. She was bothered by people’s questions about ‘us’, but when at a pool with her, me and about 10-12 friends of hers, one of them just asked me if we were dating, or if I was just f__king her. I said I was dating her, but I thought she was just using me for sex – and after that, they all loved me, told my friend she was a bitch and they all hated her, and claimed ‘dibs’ on me when she was done ‘using’ me! About 15 years later, I spent the night with her, and we bumped into 4 of her old friends at breakfast, and they couldn’t believe we were still knocking boost most months 15 years later. She was a governess for a big time lawyer and his anesthesiologist wife. They had a couple formal events each year at their home, and I’d be my friend’s escort. The family and friends were surprised, but they all liked me, and their 16 year old daughter (who was REALLY beautiful and looked like she was 21) and she was fascinated with our relationship. She told me her friends and employer all looked at her differently, after they met the smart charming engineer that candidly told them, ‘yes’ we had sex and she was amazing. — we liked each other and made each other feel good. — Some women were self-conscious about dating a younger guy, but often, after a while, they liked hanging on the arm of a much younger guy, who cleaned up well, had excellent manners, and whispered all the right dirty things in their ear! — The YOUNGEST girl I ever dated, was when I was 34. A really hot and ADORABLE black girl asked me out. I knew she was younger, so when she went to the ladies room, her wallet was open and sitting on the table, so I looked, and she was 24 years old. We really clicked, and she worked right by my office, so I saw her the days I was in the office, and we dated a LOT. She lived with her mother, who I later found out was 41 years old. I met her mother bringing her home after the 3rd or 4th date. When I was leaving, she actually said she liked me, I was the nicest, smartest and most gentlemanly guy her daughter ever brought home to meet her. A few dates later, she pulled me into the apartment and told me she wasn’t letting me leave. Her mom was there and she told her mom she wanted me to stay, and she dragged me to her room, as I was trying to ask her mom if that was OK with her because it was her home. She just grinned, shook her head and ‘waved me on’. I think the largest sex organ is the brain, and she had a great attitude and smile. The sex was good from the beginning, and great in just a couple weeks – like I said, we just clicked. I tried to be quiet, but as I was leaving the next morning, after breakfast, he mom asked me how I can function at work, when I got no sleep and must be exhausted! Things were great for 9 months, when her mom told my girl that she wanted to ‘double-date’ that weekend. The ‘double-date’ was going well, until my girl went to the ladies room, and her mom asked me just what was I doing with her daughter? I thought it was obvious. THEN she said something about our age difference, and I responded that I knew 10 years was a pretty big difference, but her daughter was very mature, and I was very immature for my age, so the relationship just seemed to work. Her mom admitted her daughter WAS very mature for her age, but where did I get 10 years age difference, wasn’t I 30-something? I was confused, I said I was 34, and her daughter was 24. She asked where did I get the idea she was 24? I told her from her drivers license. Then her mom got upset, saying, “That girl has a fake drivers license! I’m going to kill her!” Then she added, “Well, that explains why you weren’t at her birthday party 2 weeks ago!” … It turns out, I was 34, and she was 17 YEARS OLD! After dinner, we had a long talk in my car before I took her home. She said our ages didn’t make any difference the last two nights at my house, why should it make a difference going forward. She knew all my ‘buttons’, and she gave me oral sex before getting my car in gear. I started to meet her friends, and OMG they were young and immature. She still had a lot of growing up to do, hell, she had JUST turned 18 years old and graduated high school. We ended up dating just short of a year, but it was a great year! — SO, 10-17 years younger, or 10, 20, 28 years older, attraction, lust, love, it depends mostly on chemistry, not age, but never went looking for a wife, I dated women because I LIKED them and enjoyed spending time with them. I figure from the beginning few relationships are permanent, but if I ended up with a woman I never wanted to be without her with me, then the age would not matter. That said, the age difference seemed to make a difference to the older women I dated, and THAT lead to eventual break-up, and the larger the age difference, usually the shorter the dating relationship ended up being.

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Anonymous

I am 29years old and he is 49years old. He is divorced and have four kids. I really do love him. Right now we are planning to get married by august. I am scared to inform my family because I feel they will not accept him. He is a compete gentle man. He divorced his ex because she cheated on him and was involve in fraudulent issues. He is an associate prof. I am also into education. I am very happy with him.

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Anonymous

Hello,
I know it’s been a long time since this post went live but I need some advise. Hopeful someone can help me. I’m a 21 yo who will be turning 22 in August. I met my boyfriend last year in July, so we are coming up to our one year anniversary. He has two daughters, one 13 and the other is closer to my at at 19. We get along great and we confide in each other when we need to.

I love him very much. I have never clicked with someone my age and I’ve never thought that I would end up with someone who is 20 years older than me. My problem is that I don’t know how to confront my mother, yet alone my family, that I am dating an older man. I have tried to sneak in that I was considering dating him earlier but the look and response she gave me made me clamp my mouth. I’m not sure I will ever be able to tell her.

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Mr. T

Just an update to my previous post.
Yes I am 27 yrs olded than my girlfrend, who is now my wife. We’ve been married for 9 years now. It was never about money, coz I don’t have. It is about 2 people loving each other. We have our difference of opinions and disagreements like in any other relationahips, and the key is to talk…compromise and come up with a solution together. People still stare at us when we stroll in the malls with our 5yr old son. So that wont change and we both are used to that. So it works for us. It will work for you too

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