The One Who Changed It All

Can you do this? Trace back the paths your life has taken to one single person who pointed you in this direction? That person who was a turning point?

For me, the person who changed everything was a co-worker. I was 20 and interning at a newspaper, typing up ridiculous social columns and taking pictures of fire-fighting contests. Barb was in her 50s, a hippie from California that had moved into her family's old cabin in our tiny resort town. We giggled over our granola and yogurt during lunch breaks and I encouraged her to ask out the one male hippie in our town.

Later, Barb hooked me up with an internship at an advertising agency - where I met Sunny, who had lived and modeled in Taiwan, making a small fortune by wearing swimsuits in tacky karaoke videos. Sunny introduced me to her brother who recommended a great English school in Taiwan that I worked at for a year and a half and where I met heaps of amazing people - including Katheryn, who told me about the MA program in Wellington, NZ where I lived for another year and half.

Now I'm back in Minnesota, with one rather diverse resume, a Master's degree and a full passport, thanks largely to one very funny hippie who just happened to sit next to me on my first day of work.

Who's the person who changed it all for you?

30 New Things: A Review

Oh friends. I'm not finished! I didn't do it! Do you know how much it pains me to have items on a list that are not crossed off?!

Of course, part of my failure was attempting to try 30 new things in only three months and part of my failure was not considering when said things took place. Roller derbies? Totally not in season during the summer. And those weird horned fruit? Also not in season. Guerilla Gardening? Not really happening in late August. There are also items I've actually done but not written up yet and a few that I haven't quite gotten to. I was going to rent a row boat and drink a bottle of wine on it, in an attempt to fulfill my 'Drink wine in a boat' goal, but I thought that would be sliiiightly ridiculous. Just a little bit.

But it's a new decade for me! Which means now I get to try 31 new things -and I have a whole year to do them in this time! I'm going to roll over the ones that I'm not finished with yet and add a few more.

Here are a few of the next new things I'm considering:

1. Take a trapeze class at Circus Juventus

2. Go to a cat or dog show (whilst wear a ridiculous themed sweatshirt)

3. Eat a truffle (the mushroom, not the dessert)

4. Attend the taping of a live TV show

5. Get a piece of freelance writing published

6. Get mendi

7. Go raw for two weeks

8. Get a bra fitting

9. Take a water aerobics class (possibly while wearing a flowered swimming cap)

10. Watch Rocky

I've had such a lovely time trying all of these new things. This list has been a motivation to take on all of those things that usually fit under the "I'd really like to do that but I can't justify spending the time or the money" heading. It's also been a sweet bonding experience for my friends and I. Maybe they would be a bit too shy to take on a pole dancing class under normal circumstances but now that I have it on an official list? Well, then it's game on.

Did you put together a New Things list? How's it been going? Any more suggestions for filling out mine?

Open

The Big Three! Oh!

It's my Birthday, y'all! Or, more accurately, The Day Before My Birthday! Since this is the big three-oh, I decided that I probably needed to stretch out the celebration over a three day weekend - none of this quietly getting dinner with a few friends. I'd prefer to be a bit over the top, thank you very much. The plans?

I'm spending most of Friday having a very reasonably priced spa day at the Aveda Institute, being waxed and polished and rubbed into a very relaxed version of myself. Then I'm packing up some of my favorite ladies for a showing of some delicious bit of chick flick frippery. Maybe 500 Days of Summer? Or Julie and Julia? Any suggestions?

Saturday, my ladies and I are brunching at this awesome Oscar Wilde themed cafe before we head out to the mall. Now, I realize that mall-trolling might not strike you as a particularly revolutionary way to spend a Saturday - but would you believe it if I told you that I have been to a mall all of twice since I moved back to America from New Zealand? Generally, malls aren't my scene. But I could go in for a bit of non-thrift, non-boutique shopping on my bee-day. Saturday night, every blessed person I know is joining me for appetizers and a neighborhood pub crawl. Sweeneys and The Muddy Pig and The Happy Gnome, oh my!

I anticipate waking up late on Sunday and making list after list of new goals for my new decade. Possibly plot what will happen now that I'm officially finished with my self-imposed dating haitus. Put together a great outfit to attend a guilty pleasure concert put on by my girlfriend Kelly Clarkson. Because what girl who's ever traveled/grown up in a small town/wanted something more from life doesn't get weepy over Breakaway?

In the event that you're wondering what to get me, I really want this ridiculous cat-sized fighter jet, this cute lil paper-clip bird and a subscription to one of those Cheese of the Month Club. And an engraved flask.

How did you ring in your most recent birthday?

Now With More Yes!

Okay. Yes and Yes does not actually posses more yes. But it does possess more header! Gorgeous, no? The art comes via the talented Yellena James, but the editting and futzing comes via the equally talented BFF.

A few weeks ago I finally got my very own computer - for the first time in my adult life! Ridiculous! But that's what near constant travel and relocating will do to you, I guess. Ever since I got back from South America in May, I've been doing all of my blogging after hours, out of my office at work. Lordy. So, if I haven't commented on your blog, it's not because I don't love you, it's because a girl can only stay at work until 10 pm. And then people start to get worried.

But now! I'm going to be alllll over it. Watch out. We've got heaps of great stuff coming up here at Chez Yes - guest posts! give aways! interviews! holding several kittens at once! So let me use this as an opportunity to shamelessly encourage you to follow Yes and Yes on twitter, subscribe or become a friend on blogger. If you're a regular commenter, I'll joyfully return the favor!

And I just wanted to thank you guys again for making Yes and Yes a part of your lives. I have heaps of fun putting it together and it's so sweet and humbling to know that a few other people out there like it as well!

Collection Connection

Though I'm not one to amass heaps of possessions or ferret things away, a beautifully editted collection is hard to resist, isn't it? When I was younger I went through the requisite phase of bunny collecting. And then Pez dispensers. And now I pick up religious artifacts from every country that I visit (what's up Macumba charms from Brazil?!)

But how does one display all this without looking like one of those people from Hoarders? Here are a few good ideas culled from all my favorite online haunts.

Heaps of globes! Wouldn't it be fun to

find outdated ones? All full of extinct countries?

My friend Jill rocks a mean camera
collection, so I can personally vouch
for how cute this can be.

Swizzle sticks are free/cheap to collect
and surely impress your guests in a rather
Mad Men sort of way.

Granted, I've never seen enough of these
wee sewing tomatoes to merit collecting,
but this sure is adorable, isn't it?


Cigarettes! I don't really go in for smoking
but this would be a great way to catalog
the first smoke shared with your new love,
your first boss, that cigarette you smoked
outside CBGB's

In the event that you were concerned about
how to display all those egg-shaped rocks you have

My religious paraphenalia collection isn't
this epic. But maybe once I settle down it will be!

Feathers! Fantastic!

Do you collect anything? How do you display your collections?

A Reminder

I know that you know this. But it's good to remember that you are entirely capable of amazing, innumerable things.

You canclimb mountains all by yourself

write the book that changes lives

cook everything Julia ever cooked

compose the next summer anthem

see the world on the back of bicycle/

through the windows of a train/

on your very own feet

wear blue eye liner

find someone who loves you just the way you are

love your family for who they are

save all that money and do something with it

be the one who solves the problem

bring amazing children into the world

work in an office and love it

never work a 40 hour week again

be the hottest version of yourself every blessed day

wear those ridiculous heals everywhere

study gorillas in Africa

own only what you can carry

become a scholar on something obscure and fascinating

win the prize

have exactly the life that you want

Someone's got to do it. It may as well be you!

It's Okay

credit

30 New Things: Get a Ridiculous Manicure

If you are considering getting a ridiculous manicure, here are my clues for how to find the best place:

a) Ask the woman with the Chanel Logo talons where she goes

b) Look for a 'salon' with neon sign paint nearly obscuring the windows

c) Open the yellow pages and call around until you can find a place that does manicures for under $15.

You are now assured the most ridiculous manicure ever.

Emily The Brave (who also accompanied me on my Scientology adventure) was up for this tomfoolery. We opted to try Ocean Salon Spa which is located at the intersection of Dicey Avenue and Bad News Street - otherwise known as the Rondo neighborhood. It's one of those places that's next to a check-cashing shop and promises pay-by-the-minute massages. Because apparently that's how we roll, yo.

However! Upon entering the spa we discovered row upon row of white upholstered princess chairs, a huge saltwater aquarium and gilt baroque style manicure tables. Yes, I thought. I will gladly pay $11 for a manicure here.

Emily and I hunkered down for twenty minutes of gossip and hand rubbing and were not disappointed. The manicurist did balk a bit at my request for gold nailpolish with rhinestone tips. Why she expressed surprise I'm sure I don't know, as the woman sitting the next table over was getting fake nails inset with dollar bills. True story.

After approximately 8,000 layers of polish, we set our hands beneath some sort of fan/UV/baking machine after which I immidiately mussed up my polish digging around in my purse.

But when you've got rhinestones on your nails, I doubt anybody's going to notice a little smudge, right?

Have you ever gotten a particularly ridiculous manicure? Would you?

30 New Things: Send a Secret to Post Secret

I try to live my life in a way that doesn't necessitate secrets. Which is not to say I don't know plenty of "You didn't hear this from me..." secrets, but the sort of secrets that one would have to write on a postcard and send to a stranger? I don't really have those.

It took me a good three months of soul searching and cheese-eating and staring into the mid-distance to find this secret. It was buried deep inside me, somewhere between my heart and my lungs, next to those butterflies I save for special occasions. I took it out, looked at it, felt a bit sick that I had ever housed this belief and then wrote it down and sent it off.

My secret is probably not of a caliber that would find its home on Post Secret's Sunday post up. But maybe it'll find it's way onto PostRejects, or into Post Secret's twitter stream. Maybe it'll find a place between my two favorite postcards: this one and this one.

Do you read Post Secret? Would you ever send them a secret?

Freedom = ?

Like many people, I chafe at a harness. I struggle with 40-hour workweeks and societal expectations and, um, owning things that cost more than $200. I like to live my life in a way that would allow me to sell everything I own and move to Russia next month.

We all have our personal versions of freedom. For some of us, it's a committed relationship where we know that we can be 100% ourselves. Or a well-tuned car that can see you across the country and back. Or a degree in a field that can take you anywhere.

For me, freedom is spending a Friday night in my underwear, reading Harry Potter and eating shredded cheese directly out of the bag. It's traveling on my own, talking to strangers and navigating strange cities. It's wearing inappropriate outfits to Ikea on a Sunday morning. It's knowing that my parents' only hope for my future is that I'm happy. It's knowing that I can find work in virtually any country in the world.

What does freedom mean to you?

Idea Thief: Decor

When I moved into my adorable little postage stamp of an apartment in May, I decided that I was allowed to fanci-fy it enough to make it livable, but I wasn't allowed to fully commit to Virgo-level design obsession till October. Because Minnesota only has four or five months of pleasant weather a year, and I'll be damned if I'm going to use that time arranging (and rearranging) my bookshelves. Let's save that fun for Fall!

But my design diet hasn't stopped me from compulsively trolling the design blogs and bookmarking anything I think I can incorporate into my space. Wanna see? Links to sources are embedded in the photos.

This totally slays me - a clock in a bathroom!

And it's a cuckoo clock!

I bet you could mimic this look

with Ikea's lack shelves

and thrifted teapots that you

spray painted to match.

What a great way to cover yucky rental cupboards!

I've long been meaning to be one

of those women who buys herself flowers

every week. And I think if I had this

set up I just might!

If you're a matchy-matchy geek like me,

you might get a kick out of a monochromatic

bookshelf. Or you could just do this and

label the spines of your Shopaholic books with

Dostoevsky titles.

Ahhhh! Tiny pots of stuff!

I love the mix and match aspect of these mantels.
How cute are those framed kid's drawings?


Cheap-o decor! Thrifted frames
spray-painted to match.

Have you seen any great decor ideas lately?

In Which I Appear To Be Fancy

Do you guys remember when I nattered on about how every woman should have a set of photos taken professionally? To capture the hotness?

Luckily, I resisted my adolescent urge to get a set of Glamour Shots taken. Lucky also that I have a professional photographer friend who was looking to add some moody portraiture to her portfolio. Jill, of the fabulous tattoos and cupcakes, lit and photo shopped me into an unusually hot version of myself - what a fantastic present for my 30th birthday!

*Note: I do not look like this in real life. Most of my life is spent in chapstick and knitwear.

Have you ever had any professional photos taken? Would you?

30 New Things: Complete a 26-Things Photo Scavenger Hunt

You guys know that I'm all over the photo scavenger hunts: they're a great, free way to spend an evening and really challenge your photo-taking skills. A few weeks ago, The BFF and I took her swanky new camera out for a test drive along with the famed 26 things photo hunt list.

Now, it's a bit hard to get inspired to take photos with your four year old point and shoot when your friend's rocking a fancy SLR. So my involvement in this photo scavenger hunt eventually devolved into pointing at things and saying "that'd be a good one."

And then the afternoon further devolved when we decided that we needed an iced coffee. And to browse through Pier One. And then to buy some Doritos.

So did we actually complete said scavenger hunt? Not really. But we did have a great time. Which is really the goal, isn't it?

We decided that this photo counted for 'admiration'
because we felt moved to press our greasy little noses against
the window and 'ooooh' and 'ahhh' over these clever, clever
shelves. Apparently, someone reads Apartment Therapy.

We counted this photo as 'logo.'

It actually said 'glove' but Darcie

cleverly cropped out the 'g.'

This was our choice for 'graffiti.'
Isn't this a friendly bit of vandalism?

This should count for 'old,' no?
It also counts for 'things that are really
annoying to an anal rentive, design-oriented Virgo.'

And this is our 'macro' photo.
Extreme close up!

And this, friends, is our extremely
inventive interpretation of the words
'on the horizon.' Blowing your minds

with our creativity, aren't we?

Have you ever attempted a 26 things photo scavenger hunt?

The Trick to Happiness

Friends! For Real!

Do you guys have internet girlfriends? Ladies that seem to frequent the same blogs as you, leaving the sort of comments that make you want to take them out for coffee and a matinee?

Welllllll, Winona of Daddy Likey fame in my internet bestie. I think she's hilarious and we both enjoy a good dose of anthropomorphism and National Geographic. Granted I just read it, while she works there. Whatev.

But! This weekend, the planets have aligned and both Nona and I are going to be in Chicago. There just might be a rip in the time/space continuum from all the squeeeing/gossiping/giggling that will surely take place. Our plans involve lunching someplace fabulous, window shopping, visiting The Bean and discussing our plans for world domination/riding the Tran-Siberian. We really wanted our third muskateer Sal to be there, but sadly, the fashionable lady was already booked.

Have you ever met any of your internet friends? Who would you like to meet?

How To Adopt a Cat From An Animal Shelter

This guest post comes to us courtesy the lovely Michelle over at Oh, Mishka. Oh, Mishka is a gorgeous mix of photos, ideas and inspiration. Who wouldn't love a girl whose boyfriend calls her by the Italian word for 'bat'?

1. Walk into said animal shelter.
2. Go to front desk and tell them you'd like to adopt a cat.
3. As the employee starts to show you to the cats, interrupt them and inform them you'd like a specific kind of cat.
4. Elaborate. Tell them you're looking for a fat, fluffy kitty who likes to cuddle.
5. Try to pretend you don't hear them mutter “Yeah, you and everyone else,” under their breath.
6. Mention that oh, you're looking for only girl cats because your roommate is very convinced that every male cat urinates wherever they want to. Girl cats certainly do not though.
   Oh, and you'd also like a cat who is older or who has been in the animal shelter for a while because you really are looking to do a good thing by adopting one from a shelter.
   ...But you don't want one with behavior problems because you're renting an apartment and would like your deposit back next August.
7. As the employee shows you a series of large male kitties, point out that they are, in fact, all boys and you are still only looking for a girl kitty.
8. Tell her that yes, Donald is a very cute large, fluffy cat, but he's a boy. Plus you had an ex boyfriend named Donald so he wouldn't even be an option if he was a girl. Named Donald.
9. After the employee shows you every single fluffy cat in the place (plus some skinny ones too who she'd really like to find a home for, which is nice of her but not helpful to you) tell her maybe you'll come back in a few months or try to convince your roommate that boy kitties are decent.
10. Humor her as you're walking out the front door and she says “Oh, you know we do have one more you might like,” and go check out one last cat.
11. Notice the cat's name is Danny, like a boy, but she is, in fact, a girl.
12. Notice that she's fat and fluffy.
13. Become slightly hopeful.
14. Take cat out of her cage.
15. Hold her while she purrs and licks your nose.
16. Fall in love.
17. Feel only a little annoyed that the oh-so-helpful employee couldn't have showed you this cat an hour and 3 small arguments ago.
18. Bring your new cat home.
    
    Have you ever adopted an animal? Would you?

30 New Things: Fire A Gun

Growing up in rural Minnesota, in a family that views squirrel tails as acceptable Christmas tree decor, you would think that I would be seasoned with a six-shooter. You would be mistaken. The closest I've ever come to firing a gun is a rousing game of Nintendo Duck Hunt, and even then I was often the kid who'd get fed up with that smug laughing dog and end up pressing the barrel of my gun against the TV screen.

But I digress.

Yesterday, I attempted to earn my stripes as a Minnesotan and go shoot some stuff. My lovely friends Annie and Matt know infinitely more about these things than I do. Matt gave me a briefing in the parking lot and I began to quietly freak out about the possibility of shooting myself or others. Puuuuuuke. Because that could happen, yo.

Upon entering the shooting range, I discovered that the Burnsville Pistol Range is apparently hopping on sunny Sunday afternoons, stuffed with ladies in french manicures, 19 year old boys, and old men with Alabama Thunder mustaches shooting at paper plates. I think they were all less than impressed with my sundress, chunky ethnic necklace and gladitor sandals. But really, what should a girl wear to a shooting range?

We all donned the deeply sexy eye protection and ear muffs and headed into the range. Matt loaded his .22 and showed me how to hold and site it and told me to have at it.

And it was so strange, you guys. A .22 is a wee little whippet of a gun and there wasn't any of the kickback that I'd been expecting. The only impact of the gun that I saw were little black holes peppering the target 20 feet away - it was disturbingly easy to lose sight of the fact that this? This was a real gun. And it could really hurt people. I couldn't seem to make the connection between the thing in my hand and what we see on the news every day. The thing in my hand seemed more like the Duck Hunt controler than something used by the gangs that prowl around my school every night.

But then Matt gave me his 9 millimeter and all of a sudden everything became a bit more 'Law and Order' and a bit less laughing dog.

You guys? That business is intimidating! There was the kick I'd been expecting. And the deafening noise. And the giant holes through the paper target. I lasted all of two rounds with the 9 mm, feeling more Laura Ingalls than Lara Croft.


I'm not sure that the shooting range is going to be my new hang out, but I'm definitely glad I tried it. If for no other reason than now I'll have something to add to conversations everytime I go back up north to my hometown.

Have you ever fired a gun? Would you?

5 Things To Do Before Summer is Over

Oooooh, want to know five lovely things that you need to cram into your packed schedule before August ends? Then you should probably go check out my guest post over at Oh, Mishka. Hint: one thing that you need to do involves nudity.

Yes. Go check it out!

Moonwalking Dad

Thoughts on Breaking

Web Time Wasters

Because it's Friday! And, at least here in Minnesota, it's rainy and cold and a perfect day for wasting on the internetz. Happy clicking!

Have you heard about Puppies Behind Bars? It's an amazing program that partners felons with a puppy that they train to be a service dog for returning war vets. Ready the kleenex, yo - puppies + triumph of the human spirit = weeping.

This is what cookie monster thinks about eating five servings of fruits and veg.

If you've got a penchant for graffiti, you probably need this notebook. The pages looks like walls!

I'm living alone at the moment and this graph pretty accurately captures the benefits of that.

A cute DIY that requires only old bottles, masking tape and spray paint.

I love these roughly sweet wood lights.

This man's name is really, truly John Doe! Apparently, he occasionally runs into trouble at the airport.

Cracked.com always has the best stuff. I love this username translator. Just something to think about before you choose 'hotgirl 69' for your next handle.

I love the photos of Tara Donne. Gorgeous colors, daily life.

What awesome links have you stumbled across this week?

And Hijinks Ensued

Wouldn't it be great if internet memes came to life? Last weekend I took it upon myself to bring a bit o' joy to this coffee shop's cork board. Also, I appear to be wearing only a purse in the above photo. I assure you, I was also wearing pants.

Now, if only I could convince my cat Rasputin to speak only in LOLcat, find some prisoners to perform Thriller for me, and witness a woman fall off of a grape-mashing platform, my life would be perfect.

Which internet phenomena would you like to see in real life?

Dance = Joy

So we're all a little bit in love with the now famous JK Wedding Dance right? Seriously, you guys? That business made me weepy. But then, most spontaneous dances do. Or whenever a crowd spontaneously sings in unison. Or whenever I see a photo of cat cuddling a chick.

So pretty much all weepy, all the time here on the good ship Yes and Yes. But you know, happy weepy! "Oh isn't life grand!" weepy!

Annnnyway. Care to feast your eyes upon some more joyful, lovely spontaneous dancing?

Wedding robot equals The Best Kind of Robot



True, dancing to a song about zombies at your wedding isn't quite the same as dancing to a song called 'Forever,' but it sure would be fun!



How lovely is this? I really love the sweet, skipping little girl at the beginning.



Let's go ahead and ignore the fact that this is actually a promotion for T-Mobile, m'kay?

Would you ever take part in something like this? I would love to!

How to Get Over A Break Up

From reading your blog, I know that you recently went through a bad break up, and I'm currently in that situation. While it's not bad in the sense that we're not talking and hate each other, it's bad in the sense that it hurts every second of every day, and as much as I would rather be with him, he decided that we would be better off apart. How have you been surviving the break up, and getting through it to the other side? How you have been doing it and what has helped you?

Oh friend. I am flattered that you think I could write a 'how-to' post on this, but I think this piece should be more accurately titled "How to turn the corner after a break up, stop crying in the bathroom at work, and begin to enjoy your life again (but still sometimes cry when you hear that one song)"

But that's a really long title for a blog post.

That said, I'm happy to share the things that I've been doing that have helped me get through this messy, mopey time.

Remove the ex from your life (at least for a while)
The truly mutual, friendly break up is a rare bird - usually someone's feelings are bound to be hurt. If you were the injured party, I think it's particularly important to distance yourself for a bit. If you hang out with the ex all the time, you may find yourself trying to be your best, most charming self in an effort to make them see the error of their ways and run back to you. And if you genuinely enjoy each other's company and really like hanging out with each other ... well, that's not going to help anybody get over anybody.

It's really, really hard to take this step and you might even worry that you're hurting this person. Just tell them that you're not trying to be malicious or hurtful and that someday you'd like to be friends, but right now you need some distance for your mental health. Then defriend the emmeffer.

Be 100% honest with yourself about any issues that you had with your ex or the relationship
We all make compromises in relationships and no relationship is perfect - common knowledge, right? But sometimes when we're in the thick of things, we downplay how much something means to us in an effort to keep the peace ... there's not really any point in obsessing over his love for bad Science Fiction is there? But now that you're not together anymore, be honest with yourself about the things that didn't work for you in the relationship. They might not have been huge issues, but have a good think on them and be thankful that you don't have to deal with them anymore.

Put yourself on a dating hiatus
If you just got out of a relationship, especially a long term one, being single feels like visiting a foreign country. And as tempting as it is to hook up with the first applicant for the position of boyfriend, it's probably a bad idea. You're not ready for it and you might end up hurting a lovely, unsuspecting person who just wants to love you.

If you feel weird about being single, view it as a 'dating diet' ... none of that high calorie hooking up and number-swapping for you! Only heaping helpings of girlfriends, fun, and go-nowhere flirting! I've even allotted a specific end-date to my dating diet (Sept 1) to make it seem more fun ... as though I'll immediately begin making out with a delicious gentleman at the strike of midnight on August 31st.

Have heaps of fun with your friends
Now that you're single you probably have heaps more time to spend with all the amazing people in your life. Also, view this time as an opportunity for your friends to go to bat for you - don't be afraid to bawl your little eyes out over beer/cheese/bacon cupcakes. Or around the bonfire. Or at the coffeeshop. Or all of the above. You've helped them through their dramas, they will help you get through this.

But it doesn't have to be all weeping and yelling about how "you were too good for him anyway!" Go to the drive in, or the zoo, or the tarot card reader. Road trip and skinny dip and make popsicles. Do so many fun things that you're too busy to think about whats-their-name.

Make a new plan
If you were in a long term relationship, there's a good chance that this person played into your plans for the future. Maybe you were going to go to your second choice school to be closer to them, or live in the city instead of the mountains. Maybe you were going to work part time because they could support you. But things are different now and doesn't everything feel better if you have a plan? Sit down with a cup of tea and a journal and think about what you really want to do, now that you don't have anyone else to consider. The sky's the limit!

Make some changes
A new flat. A new haircut. A new wardrobe. The change in your relationship status might not feel so completely overwhelming when it's part of a hurricane of changes in your life. I think it also really helps to mix things up a bit so you're not constantly surrounded with the sweater you wore on your first date, the book he gave you for your birthday and couch where you first made out. Besides - this is a totally sanctioned excuse for shopping!

Take care of yourself
It is incredibly, incredibly tempting to devolve into a sweats-wearing, ice cream-snarfing, SATC-viewing mess, but you'll feel heaps better if you look after yourself. If you're going to fanny around the house all day, at least do it in a kinomo. If you're going to pig out, do it goat cheese and baguettes. If you want to watch bad TV, do it with your friends. Don't for get to shave your legs, get some sunshine and get a bit of exercise. It might be hard to get going, but you'll be so glad you did that instead of sitting inside, listening to Jeff Buckley and eating a whole frozen pizza.

Practice the art of letting go
You can't control your ex's decisions, you can only control your responses to them. Maybe they chose to end your relationship. That doesn't mean that you're not amazing and gorgeous and totally, totally loveable. It means that they weren't the right person for you right now.

How do you get over breakups? Have you ever been through a Very Bad Breakup?