There are heaps of ways to change the world, right? Finding the cure for cancer, somehow managing to completely counter act your carbon footprint, being the person who finally designs 4-inch heals that are fit for hiking.
But taking on any of the above can be a bit daunting, I think. Personally, I do a bit better when thinking globally and acting locally. And what's my cause of choice? Well besides preaching the gospel of cheese and anthropomorphism, my cause is saying 'yes' to things. And, really? Joy.
And is there an easier way to bring to joy to someone's life than to offer them a great compliment? Not just a "You look nice today." And not just saying nice things to that co-worker you really like. What about barista you see every day? Or the student who's always at the bus stop at the same time as you? Or that colleague who (if we're going to go ahead and say it) is kind of pain in the ass?
Imagine how much change we could bring to world by doing this - by making people feel good about themselves. and their appearance. and their lives. And we can probably do better than "Wow, you're really good at unjamming the copier" and "Your ass looks good in those jeans" can't we? How about:
I trust your judgement
You're really good at your job
You smell good
I love what you're doing with your (hair/leg warmers/complexly layered eyeshadow)
Things are more fun when you're around
You've got great ideas
You want to be you when I grow up
I admire the choices you've made
You make me laugh till I pee my pants a little
I value your opinion
or maybe even
You're the most beautiful girl in the room
(you could be a part-time model)
So go forth! Compliment strangers! Your friends! Your family! The world will be a more confident place because of it.
What's the best compliment you've ever received?
23 comments:
that's nice. compliments are a good thing. what came to my mind is that as a girl you get quite 'strange' compliments from other girls sometimes. like: you have beautiful eyebrows. a boy would never say that, right?
While shopping for my first formal dress for a school dance, the elderly sales associate informed me I have "a nice set of shoulders." I promptly bought an off-the-shoulder dress, and have never forgotten her unusual compliment!
Also, my best guy friend informed me I have "Egyptian eyes." Yes, he's gay. ;)
Anon! That *is* a good one! One of the best compliments I've ever gotten was "I'm always interested to see what you do with your hair - it's always different!" from a T.A. in my Anthropology class.
P.S. This compliment would no longer be valid as I now constantly wear a messy bun and bang poof. Come on, Sarah! Rise to the occasion!
Sarah Von you win at life. You had me before, but spruiking the Flight boys.. and that song.. you are fabulous, miss!
ps: I stalked your zombie photos on flickr = total zombie babe. Love it.
Kate! hahah! I love me some FOTC - I'm sure I regaled all of you with the tale of how Jermaine stood in line behind me at Reading Cinema in Wellington and I had to run away because I'm a nerd? http://www.yesandyes.org/2009/01/annnnnd-youre-welcome.html
Also! I'm glad you liked the zombie pics! I'm in the process of writing up my 31 Before 31 post about the zombie pub crawl :)
Those are some GOOD ones! Get right to the core of respect and understanding. I've had people tell me I'm brave ... and although I seldom believe it, it sure is a helluva compliment.
The look on someones faces when they get unexpected compliments is amazing, reason enough to go forth and compliment right there.
Haha I cant remember any particulary nice ones, btu this has reminded me of a friend who went to Egypt and got told she had 'nice big eyes, like a cow!' To this day I still think she's unsure about whether it was a compliment or not.
how about...
"When you're on the street
Depending on the street
I bet that you are definitely
In the top three
Good looking girls on the street
Depending on the street."
hehehe!
I once had an older woman working in a university cashier's office tell me I had a very pleasant face when I went to collect a check. Something about that is a little more effective than "you're pretty"
I always try to encourage my students with "You have a nice pronunciation!" or "Good job! Can`t believe how much you improved!". Sometimes it only takes a few words in the right moment to see them blossom! Awesome! Best compliment I`ve ever heard? There are two: 1) "You speak English like a native!" (erm, I`m Brazilian, guys!). Heard that from a British man 2) "Your hair is so gorgeous it just can`t be real!" (alright, that one was kinda weird!). From a bloke in a pub.
I had the best compliment passed on to me the other day! I met a chicky I talk to online and a couple of her friends (who I was acquainted with online as well) and the next day she told me that her friend said I was awesome and should hang out with them. And then she asked if I wanted to join their circle of friends. It felt like the cool kids had asked me to sit at their table! Pretty awesome. We're all in our 20s BTW.
Also, when designing thing for people it's always amazing when they tell me they trust my judgement and skills and let me do whatever I think is good.
***
Great FOTC stories! I saw Jermaine on the street too, and did the typical Kiwi thing of pretending it never happened.
And what Jermaine was eating...yeah, that was a hot dog! We don't do corn dogs here! Battered on a stick = hot dog. In a bun with mustard = American hot dog. lol.
Ms. Constantine - that's awesome! I love it when that happens!
Alline - those are great compliments. I pretty frequently get asked if this is my natural hair color (it is) which I always find flatter, if a bit weird. Thankfully, no one has phrased that question as "Does the carpet match the drapes?."
Yet.
I looked awful, totally miserable, down with the infection from hell, and my boyfriend said that oh you look gorgeous! And without a hint of irony.
Not too long ago, when I was meanly played by people I considered friends, someone said to me that I truly must have a heart of gold. I thought that was really nice and it goes in hand with what someone said to me about the same situation...
"Genuinely good people are hard to find. You are one of them."
I think it kind of makes me sound a bit like a saint but I thought it was amazing that I left that kind of impression on someone.
Also, I wanted to tell you how inspirational I find your posts. You write about those things that truly matter in interpersonal relationships. I wish more people had the same view as you!
Anisha! (blush!) thanks!
So adorable. I love giving random compliments to make people's day or to show them that I'm paying attention.
I guess the best one I've ever heard from someone is "your happiness is contageous" which makes me smile everyday since someone left it on a post it for me in my office.
BTW love the blog.
The best compliments ever: Being told by the woman at the boulangerie in France that I spoke French flawlessly (from a native french speaker)
&
Being told that I had "a beautiful spirit"
I like to believe that complimenting is one of my gifts...though I often worry that people will think I'm insincere. I even censor myself because of this! I think that is unfortunate...people hold back too much and they're often not used to someone saying super-nice things to them. This needs to change! I love receiving compliments {but, i'm a Leo, so it comes with the territory.}.
I am a fan of clever compliments!
A friend of mine once said to me, "Your eyebrows are puzzling. I like them." It made me laugh.
I also had a co-worker say, "I don't want to offend you, but you have freckles!" (I love my freckles and it makes me oddly cheery when people notice them.)
While we are on the subject of complimets, can I tell you how whimsically clever your blog is? So droll! So insightful! It is a favorite.
Glynis! Thanks so much - droll and insightful? Awesome! That's what I'm going for ;)
It's become a habit to tell complete strangers that they smell nice.
Stopped caring about the semi-creepiness of it a loooong time ago. ;D
Kathleen - I like that idea, people should be rewarded for smelling good.
The best compliment I can remember was when my aunt told me I was tall enough to be a model, and my mother said I was too smart to be =P
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