I remember a moment in my childhood when I had the epiphany that when I was a grown-up? I could do whatever the eff I wanted. I wouldn't have to answer to anyone other than my friends. I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could dye my hair ridiculous colors and sleep in a beanbag and survive solely on angel food cake if I wanted (and, yes, there was very much a period when beanbag, cake-snarfing was my ideal life)
And while I have lived much of my life on my own terms, lately there has been a excess of the dismally adult obligations and a noticeable lack of the joyful and ridiculous. So I'm doing a bit of an inventory of my life and bidding a hearty adieu to everything that no longer fits.
The parts of life that I honestly don't want?Thongs
And while I have lived much of my life on my own terms, lately there has been a excess of the dismally adult obligations and a noticeable lack of the joyful and ridiculous. So I'm doing a bit of an inventory of my life and bidding a hearty adieu to everything that no longer fits.
The parts of life that I honestly don't want?Thongs
I tried, I really did. But you are uncomfortable and I hate how they hang out the top of my pants and make me look like a shameless hussy. I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work.
The High-Powered Office Job
The High-Powered Office Job
There was a time, albiet short, that I wanted a corner office with a fat paycheck. I wanted to wear tailored clothing to work and clickity-clackity down the halls in high heels that matched my briefcase. Now, I'm happy sharing an office with two other teachers and laughing over my students' attempts at Pictionary.
The Unfullfilling Friendships
The Unfullfilling Friendships
We used to refer to these friends as prana-suckers ... you surely know the type. Whiney, spiteful, emotionally ill-equipted, eats the last cookie? After having a coffee with them, you emerge drained and sad and oddly convinced that you're dumber now than you were an hour ago? It's hard and sad and a little weird, but maybe it's time we started seeing other people.
Exercising for the Sake of Size
Exercising for the Sake of Size
No. I'm not doing it. I will go to the climbing gym because I love leaning back in my harness at the top. And I will swim because I am three quarters fish. And I will belly dance because I want to give Shakira a run for her money. But I'm not going to spend a sunny afternoon grunting through an aerobics class for three months of swimsuit wearing.
Beer
Beer
I want very much to like beer. I also want very much to like sushi and Sonic Youth, but those aren't happening either. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that I'd rather drink Diet Coke. Well, that or Suntory.
What are the parts of life that you honestly don't want?
What are the parts of life that you honestly don't want?
32 comments:
dude, beer? really? and sushi? AND sonic youth? are you writing off all three?? for good? oh noes! at least you are smart, pretty and funny, so it makes up for these tiny shortcomings ;)
For realz. I am breaking up with these guys. It's just didn't work out - not that they're not great, they're just not for me. I'm all whiskey/spring rolls/The Killers.
There. I said it. :D
Dude you are like my long lost bestie.
I hate beer. I tried its gross. Same with wine (well technically wine makes me violently ill but I didn't like it before that!)
I hate fairweather friends and I hate not doing stuff because what would they think. Last year I dyed my hair hot pink and got a nose ring and my husband was all nervous WHAT WILL WORK SAY. I work in a modertly conservative university and you know what they said NADA the dean told me I hate cute hair infact. I spent years trying to rock the boat. BAH.
Also dislike sushi, sonic youth and RUSH gawd I can't tell how much those things annoy me.
I need to work on the size thing. While I am a million times better about my body now I still have a ways to come. I blame turning 30 last year to open my eyes to a lot of things.
OH and because I am rambling...
last week at the gym while washing my hands I look up in the mirror and across the way was a young under 22 yr old chicaboom in a thong bent over. She had worn a thong to WORK OUT. what??? do you konw what that can do to you. And you are lying when you say its comfy.
hillary!
I know! I feel like for as gross as beer tastes, it should have a higher alcohol content. :D
I am totally on board with breaking up with thongs. Everyone and their mom tried to convince me that they were "actually more comfortable! You'll see!"
I probably have 10 tried-and-failed varieties of thongs languishing in the bottom of my underwear drawer. They are not comfortable. They will never be. How CAN THEY BE?? A thin strip of fabric up in your chocha? Tell me where that becomes "comfortable."
10 VARIETIES OF THONGS ARE GETTING TOSSED IN THE TRASH CAN TONIGHT!
Man, I don't remember how I stumbled across your blog, but I am SO happy I did. Everything you write about makes me so excited about life and what is coming. You give me hope and motivation to live the life I WANT to live, not the one I'm expected/supposed to live.
Thank you for being so fiercely individual and honest.
Oh god yes. Thongs (or as we call them in Australia "G-Strings") are a farce. I don't understand how anyone thinks they are comfortable or sexy. I do not want to walk around thinking that there is something chaffing the cheeks.
Also, BEER. I have NEVER been able to stomach more than a drop. Every friend I know has said they just drank it until they got used to it. This seems ridiculous to me. There are other ways to become inebriated that I don't have to talk myself into.
In the US a gstring is different than a thong. Its is smaller and more string like. *shiver*
mary!
(blush) thanks so much! And welcome to the party!
I just had a 5 year relationship end and although I have been following your blog for awhile, your recent posts have really resonated with me.
I think I honestly didn't want that relationship anymore, but I am still trying to actually let go of it.
I am jumping on the anti-thong, can't-stand-beer, just-not-that-into-sushi bandwagon. Thank you for helping me feel free enough to finally announce it publicly.
Marie,
I'm sending the two spare good vibes I have in your direction. And, can I shamelessly plus my feel-good list of 'Reasons It's Awesome to be Single'? http://listaddicts.blogspot.com/2009/06/reasons-its-awesome-to-be-single.html
beer and sushi are two of my favorite things, but spring rolls are a close third, so you're safe. :) i actually just made peace with thongs - i wear a lot of skirts and they just kind of make life easier.
Although I can't get on board with giving up thongs, beer or sushi, I'm in wholehearted agreement when it comes to lame friends and high powered office jobs!
I thought I was crazy for cutting the strings on a few relationships that were fairly one-sided, but this makes me feel a little better.
And my visions of grandeur in the corporate world came crashing down after just a few months... goodbye soul sucking job, hello whatever makes me happy (and who gives a hoot about high salary anyways :p)
Always love reading your take on life on Yes and Yes :)
I totally agree about the thongs. What is their purpose?? I mean, if you're going to go around with such a skimpy thing covering your lady garden, why not go the whole hog and go commando? At least then there wouldn't be a piece of string riding up into Places It Should Not Ride. Also completely understand the zom-friends, who suck every good feeling out of you and a little bit of brain as well. I don't have any in my life right now, but I do want to work on letting to of the feeling that it's somehow my fault when friendships with these people don't work out.
Ok, I see where you're coming from with the thongs and the beer- I have been on both sides of the fence for those.
But the sushi? There is one version that those of us anti-consumption-of-raw-fish-and their-unborn-offspring can truly enjoy, granted tried and true sushi lovers poke fun every time I order it: inari. They are little bean curd pockets soaked in something (maybe) and filled with rice. They have a nice sweet flavor and then, of course, taste like white rice in the middle. Pretty impossible to hate since there isn't much too em. But then again, I have no idea what you've got against sushi. For me, it's all the raw fish.
G'luck as you sally forth in your conquest to becoming ever more awesome :)
Andrea! I have had those bean curd/rice niblets! I was aware they "counted" as sushi.
My issues with sushi are threefold.
1) nori
2) raw fish
3) weird vinegar-y rice.
Fired.
Rock ON, lady. And I'm so with you on beer. Beer is just plain yucky. Now, Boone's Farm, on the other hand ...
I am with you on beer. But mercy do I love sushi. Love love love it.
Things that I am firing? Well the first to go was worrying when I couldn't pay my bills on time. All that worry didn't make me any more money! So why worry...they will get paid when they get paid.
I am over being quiet if someone is being rude or trampling on someone else's rights. This weekend, I kicked someone out of my friend's party because he was being a jackhole, and it felt great.
I am over fretting about a savings account and retirement and buying a house and getting "somewhere by the time I'm" whatever.
I am over the exercising just to be skinny, as well! Now, I actually love seeing the results of my workouts because they make me feel good and because I am getting BUFF, Michelle Obama arms. Pow!
GREAT post, Sarah!
Great post, I can't admit the thing on the internet lol. :-) but ill work on getting rid of it.
Ms. Von you are a hard sell- but good call on the vinegary rice. Touche and two points in your corner.
I most recently fired any haircut that required more than ten minutes of styling- I also fired my blowdryer (mostly). I do not have naturally pretty hair, I just let go of the idea that I needed to look a certain way every day. Come winter, I imagine I'll be singing a different tune. But my isn't it nice in the summer.
back real quick to say that i just broke up with a bunch of shit from my closet! banana republic silk bias cut skirt, i love you, but you do. not. flatter.
I love this! There are so many things that not EVERYONE needs. It's one of my life's greatest frustrations that many people can't understand this.
Alcohol in general for me. I get emo and cranky and really? That's fun? I'm good, thanks.
I think strip clubs are on my list. You can't really tell by reading my blog, but in person I'm kind of raunchy and on the edge, but I honestly have no desire to visit a strip club. It has nothing to do with values, or anything, I just... don't really want to go!
I feel like identifying these things really help a person grow up... I love posts like this! :D
my problem with sushi is pretty much onefold.
1. nori
i love you sarah von!
This reminds me to just write off ska. I'm sorry, Ska, but I really effing hate you.
i really don't like beer, either. i have tried, but i'd rather have a coke or even orange juice, thank you very much. i agree with you on the thongs, too, i try to like them, but not only are they inhumanly uncomfortable, they don't do a lot for your butt. butts look better in frilly french knickers, i can tell you!
such a great post. I feel you on most of these, well, except for beer and sushi AND sonic youth, but who's counting.
if you lived in Philly, I would tell you to come right over, so we could silly dance to Shakira. The hips don't lie *going to put that song on right now* hee hee
I've been trying to reduce my contact with one particularly whiny friend but it has been met with a lot of backlash. It's hard to tell what's worse.
Definitely agree about thongs, not worth the hassle. I've also given up: putting up with my boyfriend's metal music in the car; listening to stories about bad customers /annoying managers /workplaces in general; tales of other people's dreams, and watching TV adverts.
I never liked beer or chocolate until I lived in the Czech Republic. They changed my mind about beer.
Not worth the hassle? Spending 30 minutes in the morning on my hair. Just cannot do it. It's pony tail with a few braids, or a few bobby pins & braids--or nothing at all. I cannot be that girl.
great post made me think!
Important phone numbers, http://www.FreePhoneList.com
Missed this one the first time around. Great post! I especially love the saying goodbye to unhealthy/ draining friendships. Sometimes it's hard to do that if you run in the same circles, but oh so necessary for mental health! I also can't do sushi or sonic youth. Tried so hard.
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