photoA quiz.
The Mister and I met
a) while traveling through Thailand together with the same tour group
b) at an ultimate Frisbee party when he accidentally spilled his beer on me
c) in high school chemistry when we were assigned as lab partners
d) none of the above
You would be correct if you chose d) and then surmised, based on the title of this post, that we met on the interwebz. You clever minx, you!
Now, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you just gasped audibly and pushed yourself back from the computer a bit. "But that Sarah Von! She seems so nice - and so, well, normal! I don't know if I can continue to frequent the blog of a girl so depraved as to date men she met on the computer!" Well, Grandma, take a deep breath, pull your panties out of that bunch and allow me to explain.
In 2006 I stopped in New York for the last leg of my Round the World Ticket. I was visiting my college roommate - an fantastic girl with Nigella-esque proportions, an enviable wardrobe and an IQ that, I suspect, hovers around 140. Roomie had recently split with her boyfriend and was interested in screening new applicants for the position. At the time she was attending NYU and working full time at Mt. Sinai; meeting gentleman callers was getting a bit time consuming. So she decided to try online dating.
When she told me this, I must admit I did that audible gasp thing. And let me be clear, Roommate has never had any trouble landing the gentleman. Ever. So my response was something along the lines of "Duuuuuude. Internet dating is for weirdos and scary killers."
Roomie leveled her eyes at me and said "Do you have any idea how stupid it is to go to a bar and devotedly hope that an intelligent, well-traveled, well-read, driven, funny, cute, straight, single guy between the ages of 22-30 is there? And that he'll think you're cute? And that you'll see each other? And that you'll talk to each other?" And she was 110% right. If I'm proactive about everything else in my life, why am I sitting around waiting for love to happen to me?
So, upon my return in Minnesota, I informed The BFF of my new project. I was only going to be back in The States for two months, so we decided that we would approach this as a sociological experiment. If it didn't work out no harm/no foul, I could go back to my method of dating Australian surfers five years my junior with adjectives for names. So we drank a six pack and cobbled together a dating profile for match.com which, hilariously, included the bio that I actually use for this blog.
And, guys? Online dating is like shopping. Seriously. You can click on a million different attributes you are interested in (religious affiliation, education level, hobbies, favorite bands, interest in having kids, height, even income level if that's how you roll), you choose the age range and how close they are to your zip code. You click enter and watch as heaps of guys that meet these requirements fill up your computer. Look at their photos, read their profiles and see exactly how many meet you exeedlingly high standards.
Another fantastic aspect of online dating is the fact that it will probably be a total ego stroking for you. If you use that particularly flattering photo from you sister's wedding, you can expect heaps of 'winks' and emails every day and literally hundreds of gentleman reading the profile of that cutie in the photo. I think this is particularly fantastic for anyone who's feeling a bit tender about being single. I, for one, don't get tired of hearing how cute gentlemen think I am. Do you?
Online dating also acts as a pre-screening device for commitment-phobes, I think. Uploading photos, writing a profile and paying $50 really takes a lot of those guys looking for a hump buddy out of the equation. That said, not every gentleman that you meet online is going to be a keeper. Just because all his checked boxes match your checked boxes doesn't mean you'll have chemistry or the same sense of humor or the same expectations. But he'll probably be a lot closer than the guy you met at the gym who meets your standards of a) looks good in a tank top b) wipes off the elliptical.
Have you ever tried online dating? Would you recommend it?
The Mister and I met
a) while traveling through Thailand together with the same tour group
b) at an ultimate Frisbee party when he accidentally spilled his beer on me
c) in high school chemistry when we were assigned as lab partners
d) none of the above
You would be correct if you chose d) and then surmised, based on the title of this post, that we met on the interwebz. You clever minx, you!
Now, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you just gasped audibly and pushed yourself back from the computer a bit. "But that Sarah Von! She seems so nice - and so, well, normal! I don't know if I can continue to frequent the blog of a girl so depraved as to date men she met on the computer!" Well, Grandma, take a deep breath, pull your panties out of that bunch and allow me to explain.
In 2006 I stopped in New York for the last leg of my Round the World Ticket. I was visiting my college roommate - an fantastic girl with Nigella-esque proportions, an enviable wardrobe and an IQ that, I suspect, hovers around 140. Roomie had recently split with her boyfriend and was interested in screening new applicants for the position. At the time she was attending NYU and working full time at Mt. Sinai; meeting gentleman callers was getting a bit time consuming. So she decided to try online dating.
When she told me this, I must admit I did that audible gasp thing. And let me be clear, Roommate has never had any trouble landing the gentleman. Ever. So my response was something along the lines of "Duuuuuude. Internet dating is for weirdos and scary killers."
Roomie leveled her eyes at me and said "Do you have any idea how stupid it is to go to a bar and devotedly hope that an intelligent, well-traveled, well-read, driven, funny, cute, straight, single guy between the ages of 22-30 is there? And that he'll think you're cute? And that you'll see each other? And that you'll talk to each other?" And she was 110% right. If I'm proactive about everything else in my life, why am I sitting around waiting for love to happen to me?
So, upon my return in Minnesota, I informed The BFF of my new project. I was only going to be back in The States for two months, so we decided that we would approach this as a sociological experiment. If it didn't work out no harm/no foul, I could go back to my method of dating Australian surfers five years my junior with adjectives for names. So we drank a six pack and cobbled together a dating profile for match.com which, hilariously, included the bio that I actually use for this blog.
And, guys? Online dating is like shopping. Seriously. You can click on a million different attributes you are interested in (religious affiliation, education level, hobbies, favorite bands, interest in having kids, height, even income level if that's how you roll), you choose the age range and how close they are to your zip code. You click enter and watch as heaps of guys that meet these requirements fill up your computer. Look at their photos, read their profiles and see exactly how many meet you exeedlingly high standards.
Another fantastic aspect of online dating is the fact that it will probably be a total ego stroking for you. If you use that particularly flattering photo from you sister's wedding, you can expect heaps of 'winks' and emails every day and literally hundreds of gentleman reading the profile of that cutie in the photo. I think this is particularly fantastic for anyone who's feeling a bit tender about being single. I, for one, don't get tired of hearing how cute gentlemen think I am. Do you?
Online dating also acts as a pre-screening device for commitment-phobes, I think. Uploading photos, writing a profile and paying $50 really takes a lot of those guys looking for a hump buddy out of the equation. That said, not every gentleman that you meet online is going to be a keeper. Just because all his checked boxes match your checked boxes doesn't mean you'll have chemistry or the same sense of humor or the same expectations. But he'll probably be a lot closer than the guy you met at the gym who meets your standards of a) looks good in a tank top b) wipes off the elliptical.
Have you ever tried online dating? Would you recommend it?
15 comments:
Heh.
I wouldn't say I have tried online dating as in going online just for the sake of finding love, or whatever. I come from a country where "dating" has not really been the norm until recently with, funny enough, the arrival of a ton of Danish online dating sites.
I have, however, found love online. I don't consider myself a weirdo, but perhaps a bit of a computer nerd.
I met my first boyfriend in a chat room ten years ago. Yes, ten years ago. I feel old saying that. We were together for almost two years, I believe. He happened to live 12,000 miles away, too, but we managed to meet three times in that period.
Since then I have met a couple of guys online through common interests (forums and social networking sites) and I have found it to be a great way to save time, as your friend pointed out as well, since I don't have to go to bars (which I don't particularly enjoy in the first place) and hope for the best. So I definitely recommend it, whether it is through actual dating sites or just someone you randomly stumble upon while surfing around.
I guess the weirdest (or most amazing) part is that now, ten years later, I am 12,000 miles from home and seeing him, my first love, again and falling harder than ever. Go figure.
I'm actually a big advocate of meeting people online. I mean sure, sometimes people put up a front and aren't at all the people they are in the "real" world, but I've met some of my best friends online and I think because we origianlly got talking without the constraints of place or appearance, we really got to know each-other and by the time we met in "real life" there was no awkwardness, it was like we'd known each-other for years.
I've never actually dated online, but I can see it could be similar in that context - by the time you meet someone you already know enough about them that you have something you can engage them in conversation about. It would certainly prevent the I'm shy, he's shy what on earth do we say to each-other kind of dates that can happen when you don't know anything about each-other!
I have never tried it myself but I have two friends who met on eHarmony and are now married! So the commercial are true, lol!
I wouldn't say that online dating is for weirdos. Living in Los Angeles, I personally find the bar scene pretentious at times.
We have launched a dating website, www.hintcafe.com, focused on bridging the gap between the online and offline world. We have included features like voice e-message and secure call forwarding where singles can talk to each other without sharing their phone number. Its free to register, search and connect with potential matches. Our matching algorithms are tailored around the user's interest and learns automatically from user's behavior on the website. Our powerful matching engine provides interesting hints for the user to consider and find their perfect match.
Sign up at www.hintcafe.com/register
i think this post deserves a part 2 of what happened with the mister to begin with, sarah!
let me live vicariously through you a bit more.
Not so much online dating, but one does meet 'interesting' people on social networking sites. I don't mean FB or MySpace where your contact is pretty much limited to 'friends'. Something like the myriad of Ning offerings or Tribe...
sar, let's get the story straight, i drank a six pack, you wrote the profile... heh.
miss you, lady!! come home soon.
xo,
d
Brodie - I think I can oblige you on that front. Though I should warn you right now, it´s pretty damn saccrine! :)
The boyfriend and I met online. We're on year three so I'd call that a success.
Wow, nice information on online dating. All I can say is, I have seen many successful couples being created on these online dating sites. Also check out promatching.com I have their review on my blog, sounds like a good online dating potential, not very popular as of now though.
Oh, my. I did the internet dating thing for a few years, and it gained me fantastic stories to tell for years to come:
a) the man who put his feet on the table after dinner
b) the man who asked me when I wanted to have babies about fifteen minutes after meeting me
c) the man who asked me how often I shave my legs on our first date
d) the man who referred to his porn collection as "the other woman"
e) the man who told me how vehemently he hated his mother, as a complete non sequitur to our actual conversation
And then, I met Mister Goatygoat on the roof of a house, on a mountain, in Mexico. Immediately became a believer of the "when you least expect it" schmaltz that married ladies tell.
While I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with online dating, I've never been able to take the plunge. Sure, I've met dudes through the Internet before, but I've never actually made the decision to join a dating site. I guess it's because I'm never totally sure if I want to date at all until I've met someone I actually want to date, ya know? Plus both my parents are on dating sites which kinda creeps me out to the whole idea.
I'd love to hear about your first date with The Mister. I love first date stories!
I think I'm a fan for the same reasons you are, mainly, that you get to screen before you "buy"...and not that this screening process guarantees success, BUT, it's much nicer than a dude hitting on you at a bar. The guy in the bar does not possess an actual delete or block button, though I've been tempted to delete one or two in the face before.
I met my bf on a social networking site and we are--in internetz language--MFEO. Can't complain!
Sarah, have you looked at my FB page lately? I get hit on ALL the livelong day by guys I met on my favorite pop culture website. They've become friends and well...there's a rather scandalous situation a'brewing due to one such connection, I don't mind telling you. Awesomely scandalous. I never thought that commenting about the DVD release of Perfect Strangers or whatever was gonna get me the action, but it has worked out in a big, bad way!
Awesome Post! Keep it up!
Malone
Used Cars Los Angeles
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