photo by jayray24A fellow globe-trotter dropped me this question earlier this month:
My boyfriend and I spent the last year teaching English in South Korea and am feeling a resurgence of wanderlust; any advice for coping? A year's lease and new job would make escaping now impractical. :)
Ohhh, girl. I feel your pain so hard. As I'm sure The BFF would inform you, I spent my first month back in the states weeping, reconsidering my life here and wondering how I fit into this whole job/commute/9-5 thing. Really, I think anyone who has ever taken a break from what we westerners consider 'Real Life' has had a painful reality check when they arrive home. What do you mean I can't lay on the beach all day, reading trash novels and eyeing cabana boys over the rim of my Margahrita? What's this foolishness about things costing more than $5 and stores closing at 6 pm? And why is everyone working so hard and going everywhere so quickly?
Six months into my return to America, I think I have a few answers. And, well, at least I've stopped weeping. Here's what helped me:
Allow yourself to wallow a bit
The people we are when we travel are different versions of ourselves. You're no longer Jenna from Marketing, you're That Hot girl in Bungalow 4, The American with the Cute Accent, The Brave Girl Backpacking Alone, The Brunette amongst all the Blondes.
But then you go home, and you're Jenna from Marketing all over again.
I honestly think that it it totally acceptable to, well, mourn the loss of this version of yourself. Sure, you know that you're still hot and brave, but it's a bit harder to internalize that when you're just puttering around the strip mall in your khakis, eating a Cinnabun. So go ahead, give yourself a good wallow. But you're not allowed more than a month of sulking!
Consider exactly what it is that you are missing
This seems like it should be a ridiculously easy answer, right? "Obviously, I miss having lots of free time and lolling around in the sand. For Duh." But it's not always as simple as that. In the past I've found myself missing long, leisurely dinners eaten outside, living the life of a night owl, widely available fresh produce, not needing a car and exploring unknown nooks and crannies. It's just as often the lifestyle that you miss as the actual country/food/culture.
Incorporate what you miss into your life at home
Obviously, it's a bit difficult to incorporate $2 daiquiris and a flip-flop only dress code into your daily life. But you can easily buy a great picnic table, plant it under your Japanese maple and begin to eat your summer meals outside at 8 pm. Or chose your next apartment based on its proximity to work and shopping so you can bike everywhere. Buy a guide book to your home state and explore all the stuff that those fanny-packed tourists are always raving about. Traveling abroad really made me interested in all the things from home I'd been neglecting. Last summer I dragged The Mister to the Badlands, the Superior Hiking Trail and even, God help us, The Spam Museum.
Bring a bit of your adopted culture into your home
Again, a daiquiri drunk in your backyard isn't quite as good as one consumed on the beaches of Mexico, but it's still a step up from a Bud lite, right? Learn how to make some of the yummy dishes you encountered while traveling, hang up those chains of Thai elephants and throw a Chinese New Year party. I work in Chinatown and it thrills me to no end to pop into Ha Tien market and pick up the Mr. Brown coffee and Pocky sticks that got me through my lunch breaks when I was teaching in Taiwan. I go to the Hmong veggie market every week, not only because it's crazy cheap, but also because I love bartering for my food and eyeballing all the delicious black-haired babies.
Take time to acknowledge the good things about where you are now
It's really easy to view your time away through rose-tinted glasses. Lord knows I'm guilty of it. But it's really important to acknowledge the good things about your life at home, too. Sure, you met heaps of cool people when you traveled, but they probably don't know you as well as your girls that you met in kindergarten. And Hong Kong has amazing shopping, but it's a good bet that your home town is a good deal cheaper, cleaner and *a bit* less crowded. Make an effort to do all those things that you couldn't do when you were based elsewhere.
When all else fails, start planning your next trip
Sometimes, time away from the place you were raised just serves to solidify in your mind that this place? It's not for you. And that's totally okay! I have a good, Minnesota-born friend who claims that he was born in the wrong country and spent five years preparing to relocate to Japan. And now he has and he feels totally at peace with his surroundings for the first time in years. So if you've been home for a good bit and it's still not clicking, allow yourself the luxury of looking elsewhere.
What do you do to reacclimate to the 'Real World' after time abroad?
Six months into my return to America, I think I have a few answers. And, well, at least I've stopped weeping. Here's what helped me:
Allow yourself to wallow a bit
The people we are when we travel are different versions of ourselves. You're no longer Jenna from Marketing, you're That Hot girl in Bungalow 4, The American with the Cute Accent, The Brave Girl Backpacking Alone, The Brunette amongst all the Blondes.
But then you go home, and you're Jenna from Marketing all over again.
I honestly think that it it totally acceptable to, well, mourn the loss of this version of yourself. Sure, you know that you're still hot and brave, but it's a bit harder to internalize that when you're just puttering around the strip mall in your khakis, eating a Cinnabun. So go ahead, give yourself a good wallow. But you're not allowed more than a month of sulking!
Consider exactly what it is that you are missing
This seems like it should be a ridiculously easy answer, right? "Obviously, I miss having lots of free time and lolling around in the sand. For Duh." But it's not always as simple as that. In the past I've found myself missing long, leisurely dinners eaten outside, living the life of a night owl, widely available fresh produce, not needing a car and exploring unknown nooks and crannies. It's just as often the lifestyle that you miss as the actual country/food/culture.
Incorporate what you miss into your life at home
Obviously, it's a bit difficult to incorporate $2 daiquiris and a flip-flop only dress code into your daily life. But you can easily buy a great picnic table, plant it under your Japanese maple and begin to eat your summer meals outside at 8 pm. Or chose your next apartment based on its proximity to work and shopping so you can bike everywhere. Buy a guide book to your home state and explore all the stuff that those fanny-packed tourists are always raving about. Traveling abroad really made me interested in all the things from home I'd been neglecting. Last summer I dragged The Mister to the Badlands, the Superior Hiking Trail and even, God help us, The Spam Museum.
Bring a bit of your adopted culture into your home
Again, a daiquiri drunk in your backyard isn't quite as good as one consumed on the beaches of Mexico, but it's still a step up from a Bud lite, right? Learn how to make some of the yummy dishes you encountered while traveling, hang up those chains of Thai elephants and throw a Chinese New Year party. I work in Chinatown and it thrills me to no end to pop into Ha Tien market and pick up the Mr. Brown coffee and Pocky sticks that got me through my lunch breaks when I was teaching in Taiwan. I go to the Hmong veggie market every week, not only because it's crazy cheap, but also because I love bartering for my food and eyeballing all the delicious black-haired babies.
Take time to acknowledge the good things about where you are now
It's really easy to view your time away through rose-tinted glasses. Lord knows I'm guilty of it. But it's really important to acknowledge the good things about your life at home, too. Sure, you met heaps of cool people when you traveled, but they probably don't know you as well as your girls that you met in kindergarten. And Hong Kong has amazing shopping, but it's a good bet that your home town is a good deal cheaper, cleaner and *a bit* less crowded. Make an effort to do all those things that you couldn't do when you were based elsewhere.
When all else fails, start planning your next trip
Sometimes, time away from the place you were raised just serves to solidify in your mind that this place? It's not for you. And that's totally okay! I have a good, Minnesota-born friend who claims that he was born in the wrong country and spent five years preparing to relocate to Japan. And now he has and he feels totally at peace with his surroundings for the first time in years. So if you've been home for a good bit and it's still not clicking, allow yourself the luxury of looking elsewhere.
What do you do to reacclimate to the 'Real World' after time abroad?
14 comments:
I love this post, it's already bookmarked and will appear on next week's roundup!
I've never actually been long-term travelling and as such I feel I've missed out somewhat. It's something I plan to save up for after my studies are over!
I am going to print this out and stick it on my wall when I get back to NZ in Feb!
As always, this is a great post. I deal with my PTPD( Post traumatic Paris disorder) by playing French music, watching films, finding a good enough bakery where I can get a decent baguette and planning my next trip. Wearing a scarf also helps as does spraying a spritz of perfume that I bought in Paris. I miss Paris. Le sigh!
Rouge - I'm so glad you liked it, I thought of you while I was writing this and wondered how you coped.
Bridey - But at least NZ will be a great place to be in February! I think the Northern Hemisphere universially acknowledges February as The Worst Month Ever.
Wonderful post!
Very inspiring and unusual blog. :-)
xx
Wow, this brings back memories. I wasn't even planning on staying when I got home--it was 6 month break to make some money then head back to Europe. Then I fell into the same rhythm as my friends (harder than it sounds, even when the friends are old friends), got a great studio apartment in a cool neighborhood that reminded me of the best aspects of European cities & never looked back. It all seems so strange now!
Thank you so much for this! I spent 2 weeks in Italy two summers ago, and I was so depressed when I got back to Montana (ugh). Next time I'm definitely reading this. :)
I can feel teh travel bug growing inside me as I read this post...
The only thing I actually worry about, is home sickness. How did you deal with it?
Oooh, Natasha that's a good question! I feel a post coming - stay tuned next week! ;D
This is really fantastic advice - I love your articles! Thank-you :)
sarah. you're like my shrink! bahaha i believe, 2 years later, i am still in the mourning phase. i realized yesterday that i will have two weeks between the end of my work term in april and starting school again. i'm definitely going somewhere. we need to discuss my options. miss u! xo
This is such a real issue for me! My boy and I are not recovering well from our European jaunt - I believe in your last tip - planning your next holiday! It helps to have something to look forward to. I will also think about what it is I am missing!
this is all such good advice - i had such huge problems every time i came back to australia. for the first time, though, i feel as though i've made a kind of life here- rather than just using my home country as a stopover or a waiting place, and that helps :)
thanks for this!
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